Shattered Illusion
by Amaxing
Summary: An OC trainer fic set in a darker world with a history of warfare, a psychopathic serial killer, and, of course, Pokemon.  Not M, but might not be for everyone.  Two badges down!
1. Prologue: A Girl

Disclaimer: I don't own… Pokémon? I'm writing a Pokémon story now? Instead of everything else I've started? … Bear with me folks. Please.

Nobody thought it would ever happen. Looking back, it seems only natural that, if organizations like Team Rocket, Aqua, and whoever the hell else could exist, it _would_ happen eventually… but it still stopped the entire region in its tracks when it did. I still remember the first of the headlines as clear as a Sunny Day:

**Man Murdered By Pokémon**

Simple, uninventive, yet the most shocking thing we had ever laid eyes on in our lives. The article went on to describe the grisly details of the man's demise; how he'd been pummeled to death with Low Kicks and Karate Chops before being suspended in midair with Psychic to be found. Alakazam! People guessed. Gengar! Kecleon! Feraligator! Most of the guesses didn't even make sense, but the hysteria was real. Even then, though, it was still only an isolated incident. Nothing to worry about, right?

Then the second headline came. And the third. Burned to death in his own home, drowned in a constant stream of Water Guns, impaled by multiple Cuts… the death toll grew larger by the week, and it wasn't long before people began to realize that this wasn't just chance. There was someone out there, training these Pokémon to do these horrific things. The minimum age to become a Trainer quickly rose to 18, paths between towns quickly fell into disrepair, and our family's Poochyena, the cutest one in the village, was forced to evolve in order to better protect us.

That killed me. It went against everything I stood for as a breeder, but nonetheless… I understood. Even then, though, our little village of Pembrook was too far off the map, too far away to attract the attention of a serial killer who, after a year of remaining as uncaught as a Mewtwo, had claimed the lives of nearly two hundred people. It was the _world's _problem, not ours, and that was why the gravity of the situation really only hit me when we watched the Pokémon League Championships on television that year.

Axel wasn't there.

I brushed it off at first. Perhaps the camera teams just hadn't gotten him yet, or perhaps he wasn't as good a trainer as I'd thought and it had taken him too long to collect eight gym badges… the gym at Nightcastle _was_ said to be near impossible to find, after all.

Of course, I knew better than that. Axel and his Cyndaquil (that _I_ had bred for him, I might add) were one of the greatest teams I'd ever seen… there was no way our region's gyms could give him much trouble. When another year passed and he still hadn't made the Championships, I knew. He was gone. One of the then over five hundred victims taken by the "Trainer of Death."

I've never cried as hard in my life as I did that day. I didn't come out of my room for days… ate only when I had to, drank only when my body could no longer produce tears. When I was up to it, I walked over to our library to search our newspaper archives, looking for the story that confirmed my suspicions.

Of course, there were too many to count. 'Charred remains of young trainer found off Route 7', 'Unidentifiable trainer found crushed to death in Oakridge Forest'… there was no way to be sure except one. That's why, despite the pleadings of my family, I packed up my things and the Totodile I'd received on my tenth birthday, and set out for the Gym Leader circuit. I would have closure, even if it killed me.

-

If you've stuck with me this long, you're probably asking yourself something. Namely: "Who exactly is telling this story?" You probably have your own guesses already, Axel's best friend? Girlfriend? Family member? Who else would mourn like that for a teenage guy, and then go out looking for proof of death?

The answer is: I would. Axel and I… were never really anything. Sure, Facebook said that it was complicated for a while, but nothing ever came of it. We grew up together, you know? It only made sense that, even for only a weekend, something would happen between him and the 'girl next door'.

But that's been behind us for years now. Right up until he set out with Cyndaquil at 17, we had been confidants, friends… as close as you can get to another person without actually committing. Those of you who know what I'm talking about… try to keep that sad smile creeping across your face to a minimum, though I don't blame you for letting it happen. Those of you who don't… sorry. It's not the easiest relationship to explain. Suffice it to say he meant a lot to me, and worrying about what might have become of him kept my mind so clouded that, even after a months searching, the only clear impression I could give you is that of the seemingly endless dirt paths, surrounded by trees and patches of tall grass, that wove between the few small towns that lie between Pembrook and Cliffkiln.

Cliffkiln is, of course, the town where things started to get interesting.


	2. Chapter 1: A Smart Alec

Disclaimer: I _want_ to be the very best that ever owned Pokémon… but I'm not.

**Chapter 1: A Smart Alec**

Ten months, 27 days, and… in another minute, 6 hours.

That's how long it's been since my 'master' caught me, and it's… been an interesting time, to say the least. I wish I could say something about the first few weeks, but… suffice it to say it's kind of blurry. Even of my initial capture, I can only remember flashing Leaf Blades, the hard Tackles of a Pokémon's shell, and immensely huge flashes of hot, searing flame.

I didn't go down without a fight, let's say that. Though to be honest, if I had to belong to anybody, there's no trainer better.

Name's Medici. Self-appointed nickname, mind you, not one that my dear old 'master' decided to give me. I'm a Meditite that doesn't meditate, which means I probably won't be evolving anytime soon… but that's ok. I've always been wary of evolving… I mean, can you _really_ guarantee that you're the same person when you come out the other side? Yeah, I didn't think so. And yeah, I just read your mind. It _wasn't_ that hard.

A lot of people say I'm freakishly powerful. I, however, am certainly not conceited enough to believe this. On the contrary, everybody else is just freakishly weak. I mean _c'mon_ people get with the program! Willy nilly silly old Pokémon…

Let me see… a little more about myself… uh… when I'm not meditating (which is all the time) I enjoy playing my triple-neck guitar (thanks to my psychic prowess, I can play on _all_ three necks at the same time), doing aikido with my trainer (I hold back), and taking long walks on top of the cliffs of Cliffkiln while pondering classic Existential questions. Who am I? What's my purpose? Why am I the way I am? I'm told it's perfectly natural for someone who suffers from Amnesia… and no; this doesn't have anything to do with raising my Special Defense.

But, right. Plot. Um… I _guess _the first plot-related thing that happens on my front is the first time I met Amber. A girl I hadn't seen in town before, dangling her legs over the mighty cliffs, staring out as if she hadn't a friend in the world. Human too, by the way, with some of the darkest distinctly red hair I'd ever seen… though to be completely honest I've never been very far outside of town (or so I remember) so… don't have much to compare it to.

My 'master' has taught me that, when you see somebody who looks lonely, you should talk to him or her, regardless of the situation (have I mentioned how nice a guy he is?) And while I've never been the most comforting person to be around, I figured oh well, what the hell. Why not give it a try?

"Hey," I called. She didn't turn her head in the slightest, but I could tell from her brainwave patterns that she could hear me. "Haven't seen you in town before, what brings you here?"

"Looking for a friend," she said distantly, watching the waves crash at the foot of the cliffs.

"How on _earth_ do you not have friends, looking like that?" I offered, hoping a compliment could snap her out of whatever funk seemed to have taken hold of her.

"Is that really the _best_ pick-up line you could come up with?" she asked disdainfully.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there, princess," I laughed. "Us Pokémon have standards too, you know. Just because we interbreed with other kinds of Pokémon doesn't mean that…"

"Pokémon?" She turned her head quickly, and her eyes widened slightly as she realized 'Holy Crap! That's not a man; it's a Meditite!' Never gets old. "Sorry," she said quickly, averting her gaze. "I… I shouldn't have assumed that you were…"

"There's no need to think you're _discriminating_ against me because you assume a Pokémon can't speak English," I pointed out. "Makes perfect sense to me, I'm just… how you say… a genius. Plus I've been told I'm handsome enough to garner human attention, so I can't say I'm surprised that you thought I…"

"You're funny, really," she said flatly. "But… I'm sorry. I just really can't do the whole 'laughter' thing right now. The effort's appreciated nonetheless, though."

"Well don't think it's stopping there!" I said cheerily as possible. "If you're looking for someone, you'll need a tour of the town, won't you?"

She sighed, but put on a smile to try and show she was grateful. "That's fine, I guess. But first… have you ever met a boy with short blonde hair, a tad overweight, wearing a stovetop hat?"

"What kind of person wears a stovetop hat in this day and age?" I said, furrowing my brow.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then," she said with a sigh, straightening up and brushing herself off. "Well… I suppose I will need to hit the town then, won't I?"

"Hey, if you say so," I shrugged. "C'mon, I'll introduce you to my teammates."

The scene I'm about to describe will sound almost sickeningly like a date. First I'll bring up the fact that Cliffshire was having it annual Autumn Festival, and the streets were full of open-air booths and crunchy, brown and orange leaves that whipped off the nearby trees and rode the wind in wild currents and… all other sorts of nice, autumnal imagery.

"What kind of festival is this again?" Amber asked, though I didn't actually know her name just then.

"It's kind of a… Autumn/Harvest/Attract Some Tourism festival," I explained. They apparently do it every year… wouldn't know of course. Haven't been here that long."

"I'll take it you were caught recently?" she asked.

"Nah," I dismissed, waving hello to the MetalGross, the local Metal band that I jam with on Thursdays. "Just after it was over last year, apparently."

"Apparently again?" she mumbled under her breath.

"Yup," I nodded.

"Care to explain why?" she pressed.

"Already did," I dismissed. "It's not my fault that you can't read my mind."

She stopped walking for a minute, and was trying to decide to herself (or so she thought) whether it was worth putting up with me to learn more about the town. She eventually shrugged and continued walking as we came across Shelligan's booth.

Shelligan, of course, being my trainer's unfortunately named Squirtle. He didn't give Shelligan that name, of course, it came from the trainer who had him before. But hey, that's show biz.

And using said show biz talents to their full potential; Shelligan was wowing the crowd of tourists (relatively small when compared to past years, I'm told) with various juggling and acrobatic tricks… simultaneously, no less. I didn't yell to him like I usually would while he was keeping seven dishes, five china cups, and a running chainsaw up in the air while balancing on a unicycle, though. Don't say I've never done anything considerate.

"And moving right along from Shelligan…" I said after I'd let her 'ooh' and 'ah' with the rest of them for a little. "There's a swords exhibition up ahead in the field outside the bank being put on by another one of my compatriots."

"Your trainer?" she asked.

"No, no… nothing predictable like that, what do you think we are?" I laughed, pointing her towards the demonstration.

Inigo, Leaf Blades sticking out of both arms, was slicing away at logs in midair as usual when we first lay eyes on him. Even though they weren't shining in the setting sun or anything like that, every eye in a fifty-yard radius was on the tiny Treecko and his slashing, near-dancing blades.

"I've been told by reliable sources that it was this little guy who dealt the final blow," I commented.

"What final blow?" she asked.

"Maybe," I responded.

"That… that's not an answer," she grumbled.

"Want me to call the WAAAAHmbulance for you?" I sniped back, pointing towards the post office. "If the guy you're looking for's a criminal, his picture will be in there. Not saying you associate with criminals, mind you. That'd just be mean."

"Look, are you going to try being funny all day or actually help me?"

"I'm not allowed to do both?" I asked, beaming broadly.

"All right, look!" she yelled, stopping suddenly and looking me straight in the eye. "I really do appreciate what you're trying to do, Meditite…"

"_Medici_," I corrected.

"Medici… really?" She shook her head, continuing. "My point is, I don't intend to spend a whole lot of time here, so if you can just point me to… a town hall or an archive or… _some place_ that keeps track of people that go through here, that would…"

"But we're already here!" I interrupted suddenly and triumphantly, passing my hand over the large collection of booths filled with watermelons, apples, and the like. "This is the central farmers market. Nobody goes in or out of this town without his name being passed along the gossip lines here." I smiled, and floated up to her eye level. "You're welcome, ma'am. Anything else I can't help you with?"

Her mouth stood agape for a minute, but she snapped out of it quickly enough. "Um… no, I don't think so, actually." She paused for a minute, and then managed to say "thank you," though I could tell she really didn't think I deserved it.

"Already said your welcome," I smiled, landing back on the ground and walking away. "Oh! And if you see a guy with a Cyndaquil on his shoulder, be sure to say hi, huh? That'd be my trainer." I waved. "See you! Maybe! If our paths happen to cross again which has a semi-decent likelihood seeing as how small this town is!"

I didn't realize it then, but that conversation of ours? Turned out to be a lot more important than it might have seemed.

Author's note:

That's better. I was reading this over and noticed all the grammar mistakes/unrealistic transitions. Now everything is better! If I can figure out how to upload this in place of the other one, that is.


	3. Chapter 2: A Store Owner

Disclaimer: I am not in the practice of owning the Pocket Monsters, sir.

So a young boy waltzed into town about two years ago.

Just _happened _to walk by while my store was being robbed.

Just _happened_ to think it was a good idea to try and help me.

And then, to my surprise, just _happened _to succeed.

_AND BURN MY STORE FRONT TO THE GROUND WHILE HE'S AT IT!_

Don't get me wrong; he's a great kid. He's done wonders for my little fruit stand while he's been here. Good-natured too: 'Yes Mr. Munson, No Mr. Munson, Right Away Mr. Munson' and all that. But I think it's safe to say that as far as intelligence is concerned, our 'young hero' is sufficiently depleted.

He's worked at the store paying his debts for quite a long time now, and I have to say that, if it weren't for the way he trained Pokémon, I'd be entirely certain he has some level of mental handicap. It's just that in that one thing, seeing as he can train Treeckoes to be swordsmen and Squirtles to use Thunder (you could hardly imagine), he's an absolute genius. A savant, I suppose you could say.

And yet, every now and again, he does something so _incredibly idiotic_ that I even dismiss _this_ as luck. Example? Of course I'll give one.

The boy is stocking shelves as usual in the store when this cute redheaded girl walks in, comes right up to the counter, and asks if I'd seen a slightly overweight kid with short blonde hair and a stovetop hat.

"Of course I have!" I exclaimed. "Not exactly a forgettable person, that Axel."

The girl gasped. "You…" she paused. "Do you know what… happened to him?"

"He lost weight, stopped dying his hair that ridiculous color and grew it out to a decent length," I laughed, not knowing at the time what she thought she knew. "Cut the hat down to a visor too… smart move on his part I thought."

She was silent for a minute. "So… he was still alive when he left here, then?"

"Yes…" I said hesitantly. "Except he's never left. He's right over there," I pointed to the boy, and, if only to prove I wasn't a senile old man, called "Axel! Visitor!"

"If it's Benji, tell him I'm still working!" He called back. "And also tell him to stop challenging me to rematches when he's only trained for a day!"

"It isn't Benji!" I snapped. "It's… um… a redheaded girl!"

"Redheaded girl?" Axel said poking his head out from behind the shelves.

The girl's eyes opened wide, and she walked forward as in a daze. Her mouth stood agape as she raised her hand gently to his face.

And slapped the living daylights out of him.

"I assume I deserved that?" Axel said, rubbing his sore cheek pathetically.

At this point, I realized that Axel had spent two years working in my store without ever contacting home. After seeing such utter stupidity, coupled with physical harm and humiliation, I couldn't help but start laughing hysterically.

"_I thought you were dead!_" Amber yelled shrilly. "Do you know how many nights we mourned for you back home?"

"You thought I was dead?" Axel echoed. "That's kind of a silly thing to think, isn't it?"

Another slap. It's becoming hard to breathe.

"You haven't called home in years!"

"I broke my phone… and Mr. Munson won't let me put aside enough money to buy one," Axel explained.

"Yeah, well, you could have at least e-mailed or something!"

"No internet in town, I'm afraid," he apologized. "Or phones either… it's kind of nice. Quiet."

"Then you should have gone somewhere else! Or used a phone in another town or…"

"Mr. Munson doesn't let me stray very far… he's afraid I might run away."

"_STOP HAVING AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING!"_ Amber screamed, slapping him again. At this point, I'm crying out of sheer, unadulterated joy.

Axel was silent. Amber stood there seething for a moment, and finally said, angrily, "well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't have an answer for that," Axel said, shaking his head quickly.

Amber's hand rose up to slap again, but hesitated. The rage was gone, at least for now, and finally, to the delight of both Axel and the seven other customers in the store; she embraced the young trainer with both arms. "You don't know how happy I am you're alive," she said softly.

"Well…" Axel ventured. "I doubt it's as happy as… _I_ am that I'm alive so… I might be able to hazard a guess."

In Amber's defense, the slap that followed was the softest of the bunch. Hell, it was almost playful.

After that, Axel kindly requested the rest of the day off, which I, being the incredibly nice and understanding slave driver that I am, gave him. The two of them left, to catch up and I, begrudgingly, closed the store on my own and began cooking dinner.

"_FOOD!_" yelled Medici, bounding in as per usual. "Hey, Old Man Munson, what are we having today? Is it steak? Please tell me it's steak. It's steak, right?"

"It's chicken," I said monotonously.

"No… it is steak," he said, waving his hand in Jedi fashion.

"IT'S CHICKEN!" I asserted angrily. You may think yelling is an overreaction, but the scary part is, if he actually _wanted_ to force me into making steak, he could. So I take mock attempts to take over my mind quite seriously.

"Tone it down tonight, alright Medici?" I commanded. "We're probably going to have company, and I think we want them to like us this time."

"Is it Benji again?" the Meditite asked. "Because he practically doesn't even count as a guest anymore."

"It isn't Benji," I replied.

"Ooh! Is it Professor Redwood?" He asked excitedly. "You _know _how much I love that guy. It _is_ him, right?"

This could go on forever if I let it, and it gets quite amusing sometimes. This time, however, I was feeling less than accommodating. "It's some redheaded girl named Amber; apparently some long-lost friend from Axel's hometown."

"Hey, I met her!" Medici said, floating up to the cupboard to look for a snack. "She _did_ say she was looking for a friend… with blonde hair and a stovetop hat, though." He turned to me. "Tell me Axel never actually looked like that."

"Oh no… he did," I said with a chuckle. "It was actually working here at the store that made him stop dying his hair and lose the weight that he did."

"You don't say," he replied, plopping down to the ground with a stick of beef jerky in hand. "That's probably for the best, I like him better with black hair."

"Shouldn't you be sticking to your diet of a Berry a day?" I said, swiping the jerky from him before he could take a bite. "Isn't that part of your species' training?"

"I'll start training again the _very moment_ I'm not powerful enough to deal with whatever comes my way, how's that?" he said with a sly grin.

I sighed. "Don't say I never told you so," I grumbled.

Dinner at my house, ever since Axel came along anyway, has always been interesting to say the least.

Qwill always burns his food, no matter how much I cook it. Inigo insists on slicing his food midair and catching it on the edge of his leaf blades, Shelligan occasionally juggles, and Medici, while he doesn't have any strange eating habits… is Medici. I try not minding… and believe it or not, I usually succeed. It beats eating alone, I suppose.

The people Axel brings to dinner are also pretty interesting in and of themselves. Sure, there are people from around town like Officer Jenny, our neighbor's kid Benji, Nurse Joy… but then there are also people who I never would have dreamt of cooking for in years. Whether it be Professor Redwood, the world-renowned researcher who studies the 'anthromorphization' of the Pokémon species or the crazy loon from the edge of town who insists Pokémon are going to take over the world… suffice it to say, things can get quite interesting. I figured tonight's guest would be no different.

And I was right. Though I wish she wouldn't be so abrasive.

"So, Mr.… Munson, right?" Amber said first thing over dinner. "Is it true that Axel has to work another _two years_ before you'll let him go?"

"Yes, that's right," I said, not caring for the disdain she had asked the question with. "And before you say anything, it's _much_ less time than if he'd actually have to pay the _whole thing _off with his work."

"He cut me a pretty big break, Amber," Axel defended, cutting into his… wait, when did I make steak? "He's even housing and feeding me… there's no reason to be angry with him."

"He couldn't have let you call home and let us know you were okay?" she sniped.

"Hey, hey," I defended. "I didn't know he had to do something like that. He never asked."

"Is that so?" she said, whipping her rage around to Axel. "You conveniently forgot to say that, didn't you?"

"No… I actually left it out on purpose," Axel smiled, biting a chunk of meat from his fork.

"I'm not going to have to Protect you, am I?" Medici whispered loudly into Axel's ear."

"I wouldn't count it out," he whispered back. "And wait… since when did you learn Protect?"

"I… may or may not have bought myself a TM with my tour guide money," Medici said quickly. "But before you ask, it didn't actually cost as much as you might think."

"Don't get all defensive," Axel smiled. "What you do with your money is your own business."

"Does that mean I can learn Thunderbolt too?" Medici asked excitedly. "Because even knowing Thunder Punch, I feel I just don't exude electrical energy enough, you know?"

"How many moves are you going to teach yourself before you're satisfied?" I grumbled, biting begrudgingly into what should have been chicken.

"How many are there?" Medici responded. "I mean, barring Vine Whip, I'm pretty sure I can learn all of them."

"Even Hydro Pump?" Amber asked, disbelieving. "You can just randomly make water like that?"

"I _can't_ actually," Medici explained. "_But_, I can do Ice Beam with one hand and Flamethrower with the other. Turns out its even stronger than an actual Hydro Pump." The cocky Pokémon laughed. "Then again, it's me. What'd you expect?"

"For you to not Hypnosis me into making steak _every damn day_," I grumbled.

"Medici!" Axel said sternly. "You didn't!"

"I actually didn't this time!" said the liar. "I just put the suggestion in there while he was cooking and _let it grow on its own_."

"So 'Inception' is a TM now?" Amber quipped.

"Too to the shay, Amber-Chan," Medici replied, apparently finding Amber suddenly endearing. "I knew there was a reason I liked you. You have very good taste in friends, Axel. Never disappointed."

I cleared my throat, indicating to the Meditite to _shut the hell up, please, thank you._ "So, Ms. Amber," I addressed politely. "What do you intend to do now?"

The question startled her. "Pardon me?"

I sighed. It was irritating, having to explain myself. "The entire purpose of your journey was to find out if Axel was alive or not, right? And I hardly believe you expected him to be in the next town over, just too stupid to contact home. So what now?"

The girl paused. It was clear she hadn't thought about it. "Well… I suppose I'll go back to Pembrook first, let everyone know that Axel's doing ok…" She paused again. It was getting annoying. "Then, I guess I'll come back here and help pay off Axel's debt."

I flinched. Her words struck me as weird… even a bit obsessive. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"I know he doesn't seem it, but Axel is a hero to almost _all_ of Pembrook. We always knew he'd go on to do big things… win the Pokémon league, put our town on the map, that kind of thing." She smiled. "The sooner we can get him back in the running for the league the better, right?"

I looked at Axel, who had turned red out of embarrassment. "There's not need for that, Amber… I enjoy working here, really. And besides, if I spend a lot of time training here, I can blow through the league in like a day when I finally get serious, right?"

"_Two years_ worth of level grinding is a bit excessive, don't you think, Axel?" Amber said, face switching instantly from praising to stern. "You need to get back in the game! You can't just sit around waiting for someone to do it for you!"

Words to live by, Ms. Amber. And had you not been proven wrong almost the very next day, Axel may have even gotten a little smarter because of you. Terrible shame.


	4. Chapter 3: A Prodigy?

Disclaimer: The following story is fictional. Any similarities to previously well-established multi-national intellectual properties is purely coincidental. Please do not sue us. Or else. We'll… cry, or something.

Ohmigosh! AMBER! AMBERAMBERAMBER!

Hi, my name is Qwill and my name is Qwill because when I talk I don't use the 'Cynda' part of my name because it takes too long and I'm not actually speaking English because Medici is translating for me and AMBER! YAY!

As much as I like Axel, which is a lot because I mean who _doesn't_ like Axel except for mean old Mr. Munson who isn't actually all that mean, but right! As much as I like Axel, Amber is the one who _raised_ me. She fed me special food and sang me stories and groomed my fur and all my physical slash battle training was actually done by Axel but that wasn't nearly as fun as all the things AMBER did for me because she's so awesome and I'm glad she's back! YAY!

Medici says I have something called ADHD. But I don't think that's true because I looked around my corner of the room and I even checked in my Pokeball that was really dark and scary and I'm glad Axel doesn't put me in and I don't think I have _anything_, like no toys or secret food stashes or posters or anything, so I think he's making things up like he does a lot even though it turns out he's usually telling the truth sometimes.

Oh, and Medici wants to know why I'm telling this part of the story. Do you know? He just kind of asked it out loud under his breath which means I'm pretty sure it's ok for anyone to answer so feel free to answer because I don't know the answer and I think Medici really wants the answer. Answer? Amber! YAY! AMBER!

So Amber went back home for a few days after she came but she made sure to play with me and tell me that she'd be right back in a few days and so it was fine. I started waiting for her which was really easy because it didn't actually require any additional work and so I really just sat on Axel's shoulder during the day like I'd normally do except when he's lifting something heavy because then he starts grunting and stuff and he gets really shaky and its hard to stay on and so I get off and I sit on one of the crates inside Mr. Munson's warehouse which is where Axel lives and does a lot of work but sometimes he has to go make deliveries and then I get back on his shoulder because it's actually really fun up there because I get to look at the top of peoples' heads because Axel's kind of tall.

Ooh! And it was during one of those delivery things that the thing that they wanted me to talk about happened so that's actually really convenient because then I don't have to make a really awkward transition and I can just keep talking so YAY!

Axel was picking up a delivery for Mr. Munson at the post office like he usually does and talking really nice to Mrs. Post who is the Mayor's wife and also the postmistress and I think it's funny that her name is Post when she's the postmistress although it's not probably very funny now that I said something about it so Qwill is sorry for that but anyway Mrs. Post is really nice! She always gives Axel muffins on the third Sunday of every week because that's her baking day and Mr. Post never eats all of them and so there's always some left over and then Axel gives me a blueberry one and it's really yummy!

But I remember getting really excited that day because Mrs. Post was talking more excitedly than usual which usually means she gives us even _more_ muffins than usual and that would have been awesome! But it turned out that she was just about to hang up a poster in the post office window and so Axel did it for her because he's really nice but he almost dropped it! Which I thought was weird because it wasn't very heavy but then I figured it was because of what it said because he got excited after he read it and so I decided to read the poster and it said: 'First Annual Cliffkiln Pro-Am Pokémon tournament. Open to all of Salvout Region. Grand Prize of 50,000P. Inquire within." And so Axel talked with Mrs. Post and he signed up for the tournament and so I guess that means that we're actually going to have a real battle and not just one against Benji which I always feel bad about because his Pokémon are actually starting to become scared of me because I always have to hurt them but its ok because we're still friends and playing is fun!

"So basically, for those of you having a hard time following along," Medici interrupted me really really really meanly, "There was a tournament held in Cliffkiln, and Axel entered it. Couldn't you have just said _that_? So much easier."

But that's what I said! I said all of that! Silly Medici, you really don't listen do you? What do mean you're not going to translate that? Translate it! PLEEEEEEEE… oh you were being an iron? Okokokokokokokokokok sorry I didn't realize that because you don't look ironic and so anyway where was I because I was interrupted and I forgot what I was going to say next and what? Something about a rich snooty bad word that rhymes with 'bad word'… ooh! Right! Percy Garrison! YAY! He smells like money!

So anyway Mrs. Post told Axel that this really rich trainer named Percy Garrison from some rich neighborhood outside of town was funding the tournament and that he had openly declared in the middle of the farmer's market the other day that he doubted that there was a single trainer amongst us country bumpkins who could stand against him and his awesomely raised Pokémon and that he would personally give another 100,000P to any trainer who could beat him which I think was his way of making sure there was enough competition to make it fun for him because really who would say something so insulting like that just to insult people? Besides, there's no way he could be that confident about him winning because he must know that Axel's in the tournament now except now that I think about it Axel keeps a really low profile and doesn't leave town except for work and so Percy probably didn't know about it but that's ok because it just means he'll be surprised!

After that, Axel went right back to the store without taking the delivery out which made Mr. Munson mad at first but he got over it after Axel explained what had happened and why he'd decided to come back first and so they started talking. Mr. Munson didn't want to let Axel compete at first because it would mean that he'd stop working at the store for those days, but then Axel promised to wear a shirt with the store's logo on it and carry a flag with it on as well whenever he battled and so Mr. Munson figured it was ok because he figured that all the people coming to see the tournament would see it and go to his shop! And so after that, Axel almost forgot about the delivery but Mr. Munson yelled at him and then Axel remembered and he went to take the fruit arrangement over to PROFESSOR REDWOOD who is awesome but not as awesome as Amber but still pretty awesome!

Professor Redwood lives in this small little brick house next to this really awesome restaurant where this one really nice waitress always gives me free pizza whenever I show up, though maybe Axel does pay for it when I'm not looking because I see them talking together a lot and sometimes when I'm eating I'll look up and find that they're not there but Axel always comes back and so I don't mind but _anyway_ I didn't go there today because then Axel would have to come looking for me and he gets worried because there's always the chance that the death trainer might show up and try and steal me and I don't like him getting worried about me and so I didn't go off by myself.

Instead, when we got to Professor Redwood's house, I got to get off Axel's shoulder and go play with the professor's bodyguard/pet/awesome-Pokémon Champers the Machamp though Champers is just what I call him because I think his real name is just Machamp, but I got to go play with him and he likes to grab me and fling me into the air out in the backyard and then catch me and its fun and I actually learned how to do the second part of Fly because we do this so often and so if I can learn to jump really high I can dive bomb opponents in battle and Axel will be really proud of me! But Axel's always proud of me no matter what, so even if I can't figure out how to do it which I probably won't then it's ok. After a few hours Axel came and got me and I showed him the second part of Fly and he was really happy and then we left and the next day we started training for the tournament! And then Amber came back again! YAY! Life is so awesome!

"That's it?" Medici asked me with a groan after I'd finished narrating. "I can leave now? You're done?"

"Yupyupyupyupyupyup!" I lied to him. Whether or not he believed me or not doesn't really matter because he left anyway, which means I can tell you about the last thing that happened that made me think really really hard and even kind of scared me a little which admittedly isn't exactly hard to do since I get scared of pretty much anything past 8:00 but... Focus Energy Qwill, come on. This part is important!

After getting back from Professor Redwood's place that day, Axel went to lie down which is odd for him because he usually goes right on working past when his shift technically ends. Like I usually did, I climbed up on top of his chest, circling round and round until I eventually plopped down with a soft thud to take a nap. But almost immediately after I'd gotten comfortable, Axel grabbed me underneath my front legs and lifted me up, which isn't as fun as it might seem but is still pretty fun because Axel always makes sure he gentle, even when... Focus! As I was saying, he lifted me up, making sure I was facing him directly. The playfulness that was always in his eyes was gone and, for some reason, it allowed me to concentrate fully on what he was about to say. It wasn't often Axel thought about something seriously, or at least as far as I can tell which I'd like to think is pretty far and so I figured what was coming next must be super important.

"Qwill," he said. "You remember what it was like catching Medici, right?"

Since I don't speak English like Medici can, you might think Axel was a little crazy for trying to talk to me. But he's known that I at least understand him for years now, and we've been able to have any conversation we want provided I can answer by either nodding or shaking my head. In this case, I nodded.

"Do you think we should risk letting him fight in the tournament?" The question struck me as weird, because why _wouldn't_ we let Medici fight in the tournament, it'd mean that we'd be guaranteed to win because he was like really super strong even before Axel caught him, and now that he can play the guitar on top of it all it means he's... no, no, damn it! Why can't I stay on task? I didn't shake or nod my head, but simply said 'Qwill' as inquisitively as possible, which is a lot more than you might think because since I use Qwill to say everything, I can make it sound WAY different depending on how I mean it and... Axel's... response... was...

"I mean, I know it's been almost a year," Axel almost muttered. "And he's gotten a _lot_ better, especially since Professor Redwood's been in the picture, but... I mean, his last relapse was only two months ago." He was silent, probably thinking really deep and interesting thoughts like he does a lot of the time or at least that's what I'd guess. "I'm just afraid that if we put him in an actual battle situation, he'll... you know." We didn't like to mention Medici's problem, just in case he could hear us which he probably could because he can read minds.

Axel was quiet for a long time after that, and I wished he would say something because he hadn't asked a yes or no question and so I couldn't really respond to what he was thinking. I wiggled free from Axel's grip, having just come up with a semi-awesome idea, and ran into the warehouse, eventually finding and bringing back a scrap of rusted metal and laying it at Axel's feet.

"Metal? The MetalGross?" Axel asked, but I shook my head so he knew I wasn't talking about that. "Well, then what is it? Rust? What does that..." I nodded my head quickly. "Rust... oh..." He smiled sincerely. "Trust him. I see." He placed a hand on my head, ruffling my fur. "Thanks a lot, buddy." He looked happy, and the playfulness in his eyes returned which I guess meant that I did a good job cheering him up and so he went back to work and I decided to take that nap I had been wanting and so I went looking for a really big, nice, soft crate which is harder to find then you might think because...

**Narration Ended By Author For Interest of Reader Sanity**

Author's Note: If you only care about the story, or don't care at all, feel free to stop here.

So, if you hadn't guessed by now, the idea behind this story is to have different characters narrate each time. If you're wondering why I'm doing this instead of having it just told from the point of view of Axel who, believe it or not, is the main character, then I'll enlighten you.

For those of you who don't know, which is all of you and so I'm… not really sure why I prefaced this statement with that, I've been spending my free time that isn't devoted to college or socializing or sleeping to finishing up an actual novel. (You: Oh my goodness! An Amaxing novel? That's… well, this is Amaxing's only story for the Pokémon fan base, so I'm not really sure what to expect from it.)

One of the things my editor said offhandedly was that, occasionally, my characters sound kind of similar. It wasn't enough of a problem for him to actually suggest me _changing_ anything but… it still bothered me nonetheless. So I've decided… why not? I've already started the trend in this fan fic… why not continue?

So, what I'm getting at is, if you decide to review, which I'd appreciate a lot, actually, if you could address character development in some way shape or form, then I'd appreciate it… even more a lot. Like 10X a lot. Plus one.

But then again, if you just write a hurried, badly spelled review about how much you love me and how I'm awesome and this story is the best thing ever… I'd appreciate that too. I love those things.

Max English out.


	5. Chapter 4: A Warrior

Disclaimer: Pokémon? I hardly know the guy!

… … … Boo.

I don't own it.

Swift as the wind. Silent as the forest. Fierce as the flame. Stalwart as the mountain.

This was the battle standard of the great Takeda Shingen, and the advice of Sun Tzu in his _Art of War_. Being a Grass-Type Pokémon, only the 'Silent as the forest' portion of this credo comes naturally to me, but it matters little. A true warrior can become even what he was never meant to be.

I am Inigo, the Treecko. I have trained under Master Axel for over a year now. I am not sure whether my previous master would approve… after all, Axel has never done anything to garner the respect of a Pokémon such as myself… or any of his team members; he does not even own a single Gym Badge. But I trust him, and in the few instances when it has mattered over the past year, that trust has been rewarded.

The relationship we have as Pokémon and trainer is an interesting one by any standard, in that most of my training is entirely self-imposed. The amount of freedom Axel affords me in training is unheard of, or so I've been told, and makes me think sometimes that he sees me not as a pet or Pokémon… but as an equal.

This, as he probably knows, makes my respect for him grow all the more, and my normally rigorous training methods have actually increased in vigor since my capture. I will not let this man down. I owe him far too much.

So when the day of the tournament arrived, it was only natural that I woke up before the sun rose to begin warming up. As per usual, I dashed full speed towards the great cliffs, throwing myself off and lashing onto the cliff face with a vine near the bottom. I paused, measuring my breath until I was assured that my heartbeat was not fluctuating, and began my first climb up. Instead of going for a personal best as I would on a normal day of training, I paced myself, forcing myself to stop after only six climbs up the steep face.

By this time, it was late in the morning, around ten o' clock by my best estimates. The tournament would start at twelve, and so I walked back to the warehouse, picked an apple out of a crate and, since Axel hadn't the heart to do it, shook Medici out of his slumber.

Well… smacked more than shook. My relationship with the slothful, snarky layabout has never been the best. It frustrates me to no end how someone with such lack of drive or purpose can be so stupidly powerful.

"Was that entirely necessary?" Medici groaned, wiping away sleepy dirt with one hand while rubbing his struck head with the other. "We're not friends. _I_ _get it_. But it's just common courtesy to let someone who's sleeping sleep, you know?"

"The tournament begins in an hour and a half," I said flatly. "I thought you might want to prepare."

"Ah... good call," he admitted, standing up and cracking his back. He made a swooping gesture, and a crate of watermelons flew towards him, stopping in the air and hovering an inch away from his head. "You may want to turn around, buddy," he smiled, licking his lips. "This isn't going to be pretty."

Disgusted, I turned and left the warehouse, meeting with Axel in the main house. Munson had been true to his word, and Axel was decked in a ridiculous light blue shirt with the store's name and logo on it, along with a large light blue flag with the same insignia. After about five minutes, Medici followed, watermelon juice staining his face. After a few more minutes of waiting, Axel finally stood up from his chair, stretched, and led the four of us to the tournament.

There was a sizeable crowd surrounding the elevated stage, and we had to push our way through several groups of people before reaching the area designated "Team Go Buy Food From Munson's Grocer Because It Will Make You A Better Person For Real." Amber had returned yesterday, and she stood there waiting alongside Benji, our neighbor's blonde-haired son who practically worshipped Axel. Axel greeted them, and laughs were shared amongst them… I am not sure over what. I was too focused on preparing. The amplified voice of Mayor Post soon echoed over the crowd, welcoming all comers to the First Annual Cliffkiln Pokémon Tournament, going over the basic rules (the first person to have 3 Pokémon KO'd would lose) and wishing everyone the best of luck.

The first few battles were not even worth mentioning. Shelligan and Qwill switched between each other for each newcomer. Shelligan ricocheted around the battlefield like a pinball, striking down each opposing Pokémon regardless of type and supposed strength. Qwill, the technical prodigy, won a particularly short match by executing a flawless Sky Attack on a poor, unsuspecting Hitmonchan.

I sat on the sidelines, observing the battles with amusement. If ever they were to falter, I would be called upon immediately. Medici, also held in reserve for the first six matches of the tournament, had fallen back asleep. I resisted the temptation to smack him awake again, if only because infighting may have caused Axel's disqualification: a shame I could never bear.

The seventh match was the quarterfinals, and a noticeably concerned Percy Garrison took the stage. I smirked to myself. For the last three battles, he had been watching Axel's battles with a sense of wonder and fear, and I could see him sweating even from the other side of the wide arena. I resettled, lifting myself a little to see properly. Garrison sent out a Pidgeot, a strong specimen that had dominated its previous matches and Axel, almost arbitrarily, sent out Shelligan to deal with it.

Shelligan, showing no signs of weariness, spun out into the arena again, wowing the crowd with a spontaneous back flip as he entered. The Pidgeot perched on one of the edges of the raised stadium, eyeing the grandstanding Squirtle warily. The referee blew his whistle, and a roar from the crowd signaled that the battle was underway.

Across the field, I saw Garrison wipe his brow and smile. I stiffened, eyes darting to the battlefield quickly. The Pidgeot let out a loud cry and, with speed at least twice of what it had shown thus far, flew into the air, rising so high that the clouds obscured it. Almost instantly it had swooped down again, knocking Shelligan across the field with incredible force. The Squirtle began to spin, preparing a counter-offensive, but the Pidgeot had already ascended again.

Axel cried out to Shelligan, warning the Squirtle of its foe's position, but he could not spin fast enough. Time after time, the Pidgeot swooped in, knocking the Pokémon from one side of the arena to the other. The sight of the Pokémon crunching against the sides of the arena was almost too much to stomach, but I held my ground. Shelligan would not go down so easily.

Recovering from yet another assault, the Squirtle dug the edges of its shell into the ground, spinning in a tight circle and kicking up a violent cloud of dirt: a makeshift Sandstorm, if you will. Garrison called to his Pidgeot, who responded by hovering over the cloud, waiting for the Squirtle to reemerge. I smiled as Shelligan shot out of the cloud on a beeline for the Pidgeot's head, but then realized something all too late: Keen Sight. The bird had known where the Squirtle had been the whole time.

I yelled out to Shelligan, but his trajectory was already set. The Pidgeot darted up quickly, and the spinning shell of the Squirtle passed under its claws almost comically. The Pidgeot clutched Shelligan mercilessly in its talons, darted up to its full height again and, to our horror, threw the Squirtle down to the ground at full force. Shelligan let out a weak cry, and fainted. Point to Garrison.

I was out on the field before Axel had even returned Shelligan. Such needless brutality was not to be tolerated, and I vowed there and then to dismantle Garrison's entire team myself. Axel nodded to the judge, who then declared the second match-up begun.

The Pidgeot immediately darted into the air again, and I closed my eyes. I focused, searching for the telltale beat of the creature's wings, but the whistling winds and rustling leaves around town made it hard to pinpoint. I heard a distinctive swoop, and dodged to the side… but a second too late. I grunted as the beast grazed my shoulder, sending me flying across the dirt. The bird pursued me, pecking at me with its large beak, and disconcerted as I was I could only place trust in my Agility, barely dodging each piercing blow. Finally, I secured a foothold, but no sooner had I swung at the Pidgeot's body then it rose into the air again, circling round in order to dive bomb me.

I wouldn't fall for it again. I knew the sound of its wings now. I focused, heard the cue, and sidestepped. I opened my eyes and lashed out, but it was quicker than I had expected, and my Leaf Blade barely grazed its tail. With a loud caw it rose into the air again, and my eyes shut one final time. I took a deep breath and held it, waiting patiently.

And then, it came to me. From the southwest, diving at approximately eighty miles per hour, coming within an inch… now!

I exhaled as I swung out, striking the bird directly in the middle of its beak. I dug my feet into the dirt, counteracting the momentum with which it had bombed me and then, with my other Blade, smashed the Pidgeot into the ground.

I leapt away, waiting for the bird to get back up to strike again. It twitched, squirmed… but did not rise. Whether out of exhaustion or terror, I did not care.

The judge declared me the victor, and I sat with my legs crossed, awaiting my next opponent. Garrison, mouth open with shock, immediately started to yell. _What is that thing? That's not a Pokémon it's a monster! How can you let that thing compete?_ I trembled on the inside, but let it go. I did not intend to break any promises now, of all times.

Eventually, Garrison regained enough composure to continue. With a grunt, he threw a Pokéball into the arena. It opened to reveal an enormous metal-clad wyrm… a Steelix, in other words. I almost smiled. It was not exactly original to send a Steel-type Pokémon against one that only struck with Blades. The judge declared the next match begun, and the Steelix immediately dug underground. Apparently, Garrison had taught all of his Pokémon to employ ambush tactics.

I sighed, and closed my eyes again. Ground tremors were easier to detect than wing beats, so I immediately located the burrowing Pokémon. I waited for it to rise, then jumped to the side, allowing it to burst out of the earth directly besides me. Axel yelled something to me that I found incredibly amusing, and I decided to listen. Lashing out with a Vine Whip, I caught the Steel wyrm by the tale and latched on, hugging one of the crevices of its body. When the Pokémon dove back underground, I was right there with it.

It was almost comical, how the Steelix writhed in its attempts to extricate me. Lacking the flexibility of an Onix, it could not simply pick me off, and so it had to resort to bashing itself against boulders it found underground. I was quick enough, however, to avoid these attacks, and the beast only ended up hurting itself. In a last ditch attempt to get rid of me, it breached out of the ground, much like a whale breaches the water, and I took the chance. Leaping off, I landed at the point where it would attempt to burrow back underground, and swung both of my Leaf Blades at the same point of its oncoming head.

The tremor travelled up the Steelix's metal body, and for a second it simply hung there, suspended by the sudden counter shock. Then, all at once, it collapsed onto the ground in a heap. The judge declared me the victor, and I sat with my legs crossed, awaiting my next opponent.

Garrison renewed his yells of outrage, calling me a genetic aberration, a monstrosity, even going so far as to accuse me of being a Treecko-shaped machine. Such insults demanded that I challenge him to a duel, but I put my pride aside. The code of Bushido was not exactly strict when it came to Pokémon and, to be honest, I do not think I would take a life even if the code _did_ call for it. Well, unless Master Axel told me to, that is.

The judge was not swayed by Garrison's words or his money, and eventually, begrudgingly, Garrison reached into his back pocket, pulling out a Pokéball that had clearly been intended only for the finals. It opened to reveal a monstrously huge black dog, fire pouring from its mouth. A Houndoom, technically speaking, but its size and disposition almost made it seem like a Cerberus.

I tensed. Judging from its muscular structure, the Pokémon would be able to out run me… that much was almost certain. An image of me, suddenly surrounded and consumed by an oncoming blaze of flame, formed in my mind, but I shook it off. Now was not the time to think of how Super Effective its attacks would be. I simply would not allow them to connect.

I didn't hear the judge announce the match had begun. I was only aware of the opponent in front of me, now behind me, running in circles and laying down an impenetrable barrier of flame around the arena. I leapt into the air, trying to clear the advancing wall of fire… and failed. My body seared, but I quickly dove into the dirt, rolling to put myself out. The Houndoom was upon me before I could stand up, clearly intending to Crunch the life out of me, but I caught its head with my hands, batting it away. It slid across the ground, but quickly was on its feet again, circling with great agility.

I suddenly felt myself struck from the behind by a Thunderbolt, and cursed myself for having let the beast… no. The Houndoom was still in front of me, running away. I snapped out of focus, only then becoming conscious of the screaming, both from the crowd and from Garrison himself. I turned slowly, still a tad Paralyzed from the sneak attack, to view my attacker.

No… not now. Not _here_, damn it!

Authors Note (If you don't care… then just stop reading)

First, in response to my reviewers, you guys are awesome. Your comments are so well thought out and helpful! (At least, they _seem_ that way…) And don't worry, I haven't lost track of the plot… as you'd probably guessed by now.

Second, in response to anyone who's read through all five chapters thus far, thanks! I know from experience that even when you really like a story, you tend not to read it all if it's more than a few chapters long (I've done this _so_ many times… hell, I only read two chapters of a three chapter story I thought was superb once.)

Third, I figured I might as well start giving a bit of behind-the-scenes info, just so you guys have that much more reason to read these authors notes. Right now, let's do some name origins, shall we?

Qwill and Shelligan are both what I named my actual Cyndaquil and Squirtle, respectively (so when Medici commented about how stupid a name Shelligan was, it was kind of an inside joke. That I only I got. But it still made me happy.)

Inigo the Treecko is named after Mandy Patinkin's character in _The Princess Bride_. He's also a swordsman.

One more? Really? All right, fine… I named Amber Amber because her hair is red. Yes I know that actual amber is yellow/gold. That's the joke.

Max English out.


	6. Chapter 5: A Bystander

Disclaimer: 1, 2, 3, 4!

FANFICTION'S AWESOME

FANFICTION'S WEEEEEIRD

FANFICTION'S AWESOME AND FANFICTION'S WEIRD

AND I DON'T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS STORY

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL

Yeah that's right. I called you a girl. What are you gonna… or, you _are_ one? My apologies. For calling you what you… you know, never mind. Now I'm confused.

What? Oh, right… plot.

**Chapter 5: Garrison**

What's happening? _Why_ is this happening? I paid those trainers so much to make sure this place was protected… oh god. The trainers. I'm going to be sick.

The screaming pounded in my ears as lightning chased after citizens, running indoors in a desperate attempt to escape. The Treecko that my Houndoom had been fighting was struck from behind and sent sprawling to the ground, twitching as electricity coursed through its body. My Houndoom ran to me, and the motion attracted the attention of the thing. Its eyes flashed a haunting blue, and it swooped in closer.

It was huge, its green-laid wings reaching a length inconceivable. The tassels on top of its head, usually giving its species a whimsical look, stood out like horns. I had never seen a Dragonite in such a rage, and before it even drew in a breath to fire god-knows-what at me, I knew. Death had come. I dropped to the ground, clutching my Houndoom for dear life. The Dragonite's mouth began to glow red, and it issued a Fire Blast out of its mouth towards us.

I closed my eyes, but the burning did not come. I opened them quickly and was shocked. The Treecko… it had jumped in the way, deflecting a good bit of the fire stream with its Blades. It let out a cry and jumped towards the monster. It struck quickly, brutally, in rapid succession, cut after cut piercing the Dragonite's flesh. But it held its ground; the Death Pokémon let out a loud cry and threw the Treecko away with a simple beat of it wings. Such terrible power!

By this time, the Squirtle I thought I had put into a hospital was already spinning towards us, the Cyndaquil riding atop it. The Squirtle sprung open, launching its rider into the air. The Cyndaquil let loose a Fire Blast of its own at the monster, and without missing a beat, sheathed itself in flame, descending upon the Dragonite as if it were a meteor.

The Dragonite did not even flinch when it was stuck, blasting the Cyndaquil with a Thunder before tossing it aside.

I heard Axel yell something, and the Treecko was suddenly back on the scene. Vines wrapped around the still-spinning Squirtle and, in an obviously practiced motion, the turtle was lifted from the ground by the Treecko's prodigious strength. With a battle cry, the gecko Pokémon began to strike the Dragonite with the shell as if it were a large mace, while the Cyndaquil, somehow still alive, began to attack the monster behind with a seemingly infinite chain of Double Kicks.

I couldn't move. I was too shocked. It was battles like this that one only dreamed of when thinking of the Great Wars, before rules had been established on the use of Pokémon, before peace had been achieved. To have one happen right in front of my eyes… it was impossible. I had to be mad.

The Dragonite began to falter, but with a sudden Twister, it knocked its attackers away. With a burst of speed, it rose into the air, taking aim at me and charging, white light gathering around its mouth. With a loud, monstrous cry, it sent forth a Hyper Beam at Houndoom and I.

A hand darted in front of me, catching the beam in mid-air. I swear to God! Don't look at me like that! The Meditite that had been asleep ever since the tournament had started was now standing in front of me, stretching. It looked back at me, winked, and shot its arm forth, _throwing_ the beam right back at the Dragonite and striking the beast directly in the mouth. _I don't care if you say that's impossible! I know what I saw! I'm not crazy!_

With a slight chuckle, the Meditite charged the raging monster, striking it with a punch that overflowed with lightning. With a kick, it threw the Dragonite into the air, rising after to continue its assault.

I felt an arm shake me, and I dove away from the source. But it was the redheaded girl, Axel's friend, yelling at me to move. _"Are you stupid?_" she yelled. _"Come on! We have to get indoors!_"

"Those… Pokémon…" I sputtered. "I… I can help them! I can fight too!"

She smacked me. "_Stop talking like an idiot, come _on!_ You'll die if you stay out here too long!_"

Despite the situation, I was filled with rage. How dare she question the power my Pokémon my possessed? "I've raised this Houndoom since it was puppy!" I yelled defensively, as a large crack signaled that another Thunder had struck its mark, "there's no way that _Squirtle_ has a better chance of surviving than it does!"

"Shut up, you idiot!" I heard the Meditite scream from above. It was too late, though. The Dragonite had already changed targets again, glowing in Outrage as it dove towards the girl and I. I saw the other Pokémon dart after it, but they were too slow. My Houndoom's flamethrower couldn't stop it, didn't even phase the thing. How was this possible? The girl dragged me, still unable to move, across the stage as fast as she could, but it was for nothing. The Dragonite came in like a bullet, and I felt its breath as it came within inches of me.

And stopped. Senses restored, I scrambled from underneath the thing, looking around for whatever had forced the monster to stop. Looking into the sky, I saw the Meditite, breathing heavily, its eyes glowing a piercing, haunting blue. Its arm was outstretched: the creature was holding the Dragonite back with the sheer force of its Psychic power! With a loud roar, it pulled back its arm, and the Dragonite flew though the air towards the Meditite, who began beating the dragon into the ground relentlessly with the palms of its hands.

Finally listening, I ran along with the girl, ducking towards the Pokémon Center in desperation. The redhead, seeing Axel still standing outside, called to him as well, but he waved her away. The girl stood for a moment, but eventually darted into the building. I stayed. Even though Death was so close, I had to see what made this trainer different, why so much faith was being placed in his abilities.

Axel was yelling at the Meditite, rushing towards it as fast as his legs could carry him. When it seemed that he would reach the Pokémon, a Barrier flew up out of nowhere, throwing the trainer back several feet. The Meditite on the inside, entire body glowing the same color as its eyes now, continued to beat the Dragonite around the confines of the Barrier like a ragdoll. The Death Pokémon fired off another Hyper Beam, and I know it saw it strike the Meditite directly in the head, but the Pokémon didn't even flinch. _I swear! I wasn't seeing things!_

All the while, Axel banged on the sides of the Barrier, yelling incoherent things at the Meditite. He called something to his other three Pokémon, and the three quickly assembled. The Squirtle threw the Treecko into the air, and the Cyndaquil, in an act that made me question both my sanity and Axel's, spewed flame directly onto the flying gecko's body. Now set ablaze, the Treecko extended its Leaf Blades as large as it could, and came down upon the Barrier with a force that sent shockwaves through the air. The shield cracked, and as if it were glass, burst apart in shards.

Axel, wasting no time, ran towards the scene. By this time, the Meditite was holding the Dragonite aloft, slowly bending the dragon's neck backwards inch by inch, intending to snap it. The trainer, who at this point could be described as nothing but insane, grasped the raging Meditite and smacked it across the face. The Pokémon flashed a brilliant red, and for a moment, I thought that Axel was a dead man for sure. But the trainer grasped the Meditite by the shoulders, looking into its eyes and talking soothingly to it. The Meditite began to nod slowly; its eyes faded and were replaced with their normal colors, and, after swaying back and forth, it collapsed onto the ground.

Axel sighed, motioning to his other Pokémon. The Treecko picked the Meditite up off the ground, setting it gently on the Squirtle, who spun towards the Pokémon center. The Cyndaquil jumped up onto Axel's shoulder, and the trainer approached the Dragonite, petting it gently and assessing its wounds.

That was the last straw. I burst into the Pokémon center, raving and shouting accusations at the top of my lungs. At length, I was detained, but they won't be able to keep me in this padded cell forever. I'm Percy Garrison, and if I say I'm sane then my lawyer and personal doctor will as well, damn it! And I know I'm right. There's no other explanation.

If it had only been the absurdly powerful Pokémon, whose methods of battles seemed so eerily similar to recent headlines, then fine, I would have thought twice. Even the homicidal Meditite with anger issues could be explained away, but the trainer's attitude towards the Dragonite? That was the last straw. I said that already. I don't care.

I knew the truth from that day on, and until people begin to listen I won't rest. I'll devote my life to this man, proving to everyone else what he truly is, in order to protect this world. I'll follow him, as soon as I can, and expose him as the monster he is. I'll do it. _I'll _do it. _ I will be the one to do it!_

I will prove beyond doubt that Axel is the Trainer of Death, even if it kills me.

Author's Note: If You Don't Care, Don't Read! YAY!

And with that, I'd like to think that the 'introduction' part of the story is finished. There'll be an aftermath scene next, but we'll be moving on soon enough, don't you worry.

In the mean time, let's do some more behind-the-scenes work, shall we?

Name Origins:

Both Axel and Munson don't really have origins; it's more along the lines of 'this name seems to fit this character.' The same with Percy Garrison, but not only does this _sound_ like a snooty rich kids name, but it has 'purse' in it, which alludes to how much money he has.

QNA (Questions Never Asked):

Does Axel have a last name?

- It's not really important to the plot but, yeah. It's Jackson.

What about Amber?

- I'll get back to you on that one, ok?

How long is this story going to be, anyway?

- Honestly? I don't have a clue. I _would_ like to stretch it across an 8-gym cycle but… I'm not sure how long that will take. Or if I even have that much story. Rest assured, though… we're probably going to be here for a while.

Can I submit an idea for an original character?

- Well… I mean, I'm not **asking** for submissions, but I won't say no. Make sure you make it a PM though.

What's a PM?

Private. Message. Idiot…

Hey!

- Sorry.

Max English out.


	7. Chapter 6: An Aftermath

Needlessly Sexy Disclaimer:

Oh, you _love it_ when I say I don't own Pokémon, don't you? You naughty, _naughty_ reader. Should I say it again? Would that _excite_ you?

… I don't own Pokémon.

You're welcome.

Chapter 6: An Aftermath

**Medici**

Boo yah! BOO TO THE YAH!

Who saved the day? Who was it? Oh right, it was me. I'd forgotten since I reminded myself of it five seconds ago. Pardon me.

All right, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details but let's not lose sight of the important thing here. A Dragonite tried to kill everyone in the village. I _destroyed_ said Dragonite… apparently. From what people tell me, I was kind of hard on the thing, but what can I say? I've taken a liking to Amber, I'd hate to see her get hurt.

After the villagers had assessed the damage and had assured each other they were safe, the police were called to pick up the Dragonite, and within an hour five officers (all named Jenny, oddly enough) showed up to haul the thing away to be euthanized.

Which Axel was firmly against, I might add. I don't really get it; I mean, something _that evil_ has no place in the world we live in today, but Axel stood his ground. Even offered to _keep_ the thing, can you believe it? Thankfully, the police ignored his craziness, and _boy_ was Axel mad. Not that he showed it, mind you, but from what I could tell from reading his mind… well, let's just say that Axel can swear like a Sailor if he wants to.

… Ah crap, I just realized. Nobody's going to win the tournament, are they? Guess it's back to sleeping on watermelon crates again.

**Qwill**

Scary monster! Scary scary scary scary scary! _SCAAAAAARRRRYYYY!_

But it wasn't as bad as it might have been because Axel seemed like he knew exactly what to do and Medici was super strong because of his problem and nobody died except for Percy Garrison on the inside because now he's in an asylum but they say that's only temperature and _oh my God, Mr. Munson said we can leave!_

I don't really understand why he said we can leave because we didn't win any money and Axel looked like he didn't understand either because he started reminding Mr. Munson that he still owed him the money but Mr. Munson said it was ok because to keep us here after all that had happened would be selfless! But that doesn't make any sense because that means that he's actually being selfish by letting us go and as far as I can tell Mr. Munson actually likes having us around even though he yells at Axel a lot but it's ok because we finally get to go and hunt for GYM BADGES! WOO! Now when I listen to anything Axel says even though he doesn't have any authority to do so other Pokémon won't look at me like I'm weird and I won't feel so awkward anymore!

So that means we're going to be leaving in a few days because Axel wanted to stay around and help rebuild a little which makes sense because even if it isn't our hometown we've grown attached to it and so I've been lighting fires for people who's heating got broke and sometimes I get to cook meals and that's fun because then people like me for my breath and if people like you just for your breath then they've _got_ to like you for pretty much everything else and that's so awesome! And in even better news, AMBER is going to be coming with us and she even brought back a cell phone for Axel so he can call his family and let them know he isn't dead and so that's pretty awesome too because I think they've been worried but the important thing to take away from it all is that _I GET TO PLAY WITH AMBER EVERY DAY NOW! YAY! GREAT SUCCESS!_

**Inigo**

Failure.

I have trained constantly all these years, and the first time it could ever mean something, I fail.

I know the Dragonite was defeated. I know nothing bad happened _this_ time. But Axel relied on me to be strong enough to prevent Medici from… being unleashed, shall we say, and I could not do it. It was all I could do just to break through his Barrier, and I doubt I could have done it unaided.

I mustn't allow this to happen again. I must increase the amount and the ardor of my training. My blades will cut through steel. My scales will become immune to any blow.

If there was anything positive about this day, it is that I finally came to understand the magnitude of the challenge ahead. Rule one of war is to know thine enemy, and for the first time I can truly say that I do.

**Amber**

So we're leaving today.

It's strange… even though I've only spent a few days in this town, I feel as if it was my own hometown that had been leveled. The people here… they didn't deserve this. What could have possibly provoked this attack? Or was it as random and senseless as it looked like? That Dragonite… how could anyone do that to a Pokémon? And how could a Pokémon let itself fall that low?

That's one of the reasons I'm tagging along, I suppose. I need answers… and for some reason, I feel like going with Axel will help get those answers. That might not make sense to you, but at the very least, you have to agree that it'll be safer than looking for answers on my own.

The other reason is, well, Benji's gone missing. Not that that means as much to me as it does to everyone else in our party but… he was a nice kid. The way he talked about Pokémon and training… it was almost like he was one of those overzealous ten-year-old-trainers from… simpler times. Even if I hadn't met him, I couldn't exactly turn down a request from a crying mother, could I?

This isn't going to be as carefree a journey as it's supposed to be, is it?

**Munson**

It's quiet with him gone.

No jerky-eating Meditites, no juggling Squirtles… hell, I'll even miss the occasional visits from the waitress at the pizzeria that I'm not supposed to know about. And that I'd _certainly_ never tell anyone about, because that would just be rude.

Sitting here on the sofa, flipping through the channels, I kind of regret letting him go. But it was the right thing to do. If I'd known how much potential I was quashing, I'd have done it a lot sooner.

I flip through a few more channels… nothing's ever on. News about the Trainer of Death's become so commonplace as to be boring. And who on earth thought it would be a good idea to let a Pikachu host a game show? How the hell am I supposed to know the answer to 'Pika Pika Chu, Pikachu CHU'? Oh. The answer's forty-two. Should've seen that coming actually.

The television set cut to static, and I sighed, getting up to adjust the cable set-up _again._ But just as I was out of the armchair, a face appeared on the screen.

A face that I… that, in fact, _no one _had seen in almost a year. A face that no one had ever wanted to see ever again.

A man in a black robe and a Duskull mask looked out from the screen, piercing blue eyes staring into my soul. Death had decided to make an announcement.

_It's been too long, my friends._ He said, each syllable breeding hatred in my very being. _How have you been? Good? I'm sure you don't need to ask about my health… I've been quite active, after all._ A sick, twisted laugh. Words can't express.

_I'm making this announcement in response to rumors that the Pokémon League Tournament may not be held this year. Needless to say, such an action… would upset me._

_ So why don't I sweeten the pot for this year's competition, hm? I will personally be joining the ranks of the trainers competing this year and if anyone happens to defeat me, I will swear on my life never to target him. Or her, I suppose. I don't like to discriminate… as you all know quite well._

_ Any trainer I find not actively pursuing badges, or purposefully trying to avoid this year's competition, will DIE. I wish to be entertained, and only the world's finest will be able to accomplish such. Now go. Train your hearts out, Salvout. And remember… I'll be watching. So do be careful, won't you?_

The screen cut to black, the Pikachu's profile taking the place of the set's former occupant in disturbingly light-hearted fashion. I shuddered, thought of Axel, and of all the other trainers I'd met in my life, and began to pack.

Now is not the time to be running a grocery store.

Author's Note:

I'M BACK! Kind of. Maybe. I felt like finishing this chapter. Because I like it.


	8. Chapter 7: A Whiner

Disclaimer: Sudo I Own Pokémon!

SyntaxError: Invalid Syntax.

**Chapter 7: A Whiner**

You don't even know who I am do you?

_Never mind_ the fact that I've been here since the very beginning, I just _know_ that if I were to introduce myself, you'd wonder why the hell I'm talking.

Fine, I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself. Go back to Amber's first dialogue. I'm there. No, don't mind _me._ I'll wait. No, _of course_ I don't have better things to do.

Back? Good, now who am I? … of course you only remember the Poochyena. _I'm the Totodile_. There, I said it. God.

It's just like everyone else to go on telling the story and not bother to mention what I was doing at the time. How was _Totodile_ when the Dragonite of Death attacked? What was _Totodile_ doing to help rebuild Cliffkiln? _Why doesn't _Totodile_ have an actual name other than 'Totodile'?_

The answer to these questions, as you yourself were probably just thinking, is 'who cares?' Granted, I might not be as _eccentric_ as Medici, who seems to be the only Pokémon people _ever talk about_, but I'm interesting too, you know! Who do you think had the thankless job of producing enough clean water for the citizens of Cliffkiln to drink until they got back on their feet? Yeah, me. Nobody seems to be handing over any credit though, do they? Self-centered egotists, the lot of them.

The only one who pays me any mind, really, is Axel. I know you're probably as tired as I am of hearing about how wonderful and perfect he is, but… well, it's kind of true. As we travelled down Route 657 (stupid numbering system, Salvout has), while Medici pranced about trying to impress Amber, Inigo darted ahead and cut down every single tree branch even slightly in our path, and Qwill and Shelligan took turns riding on top of each other, Axel was the only one to occasionally look back and wave, even _talk_ to me. "Doing alright there Toto? We're not in Kansas anymore, huh Toto?" Stupid, trite stuff, but nice nonetheless.

Then again, seeing as Axel seems to be _incapable_ of not being nice to anyone, I really shouldn't be flattered.

We were about a day's walk outside Cliffkiln when Axel suddenly motioned for us to stop. He walked forward a little, sniffed the air, and turned to us. "Plug your ears," he said quickly. "Now."

But it was too late. A scream echoed across the trail, and (after wincing in pain) we all turned our attention toward the source… a raggedy looking hobo cowering in almost comical fear from…

"_AAAAAGH! A TOTODILE! GET IT AWAAAAAAAY!"_

"Malick, calm down, she's with me!" Axel consoled quickly. "They're all with me, you know that, right?"

"I… I…aye…" He nodded, slowly and warily getting to his feet. "I'm sorry Axel… it just… brings back such terrible memories…." He sat on a nearby tree stump, holding his head heavy in his hands. "Seeing lines of Feraligators, blasting those deadly steams of water into buildings and people alike, charging like Rhyhorns and tearing into friends and allies with their godless, feral Crunches…

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" Medici interrupted, levitating four feet off the ground in excitement. "When the heck did this all happen?"

"I guess I never introduced him properly, huh?" Axel apologized. "Guys, this is Manic Malick… he's one of the few surviving veterans of the Great War."

The Great War? That terrible time in history that they force young children and _Pokémon_ alike to sit in a classroom and memorize? Seeing as that was over eighty years ago, that puts this guy at roughly… what, ninety-six, ninety-eight years old? And here he is living out in the woods and befriending/terrorizing random travelers. Sure, I'll buy that. Why not?

"Was it really that bad?" Medici asked, completely clueless (as per usual). "I mean… I only ask because, technically, my mental age is only one…"

"It was… awful," Malick said drearily, shaking his head back and forth. "The forces of Ginli were terrible, just…" he shuddered. "You've never had to face down a Machoke with nothing but your shaking hands and a Colt 45…"

_That's_ an image I've never wanted in my head. And now it won't leave. Thanks _a lot,_ Manic Malick.

"It all finally ended with the Great Armistice," Amber recalled from all those years of mandatory history classes. "Both sides finally realized enough people had died, and that, at least for the moment, they should stop fighting."

"Ay… but nothing changes," Malick whispered. "Politician's are always squabbling over oil this, land ownership that…" he sighed. "It never ends, does it?"

"I don't think we'd have what strained peace we had now if it wasn't for the Pokémon league…" Axel muttered, to nods of agreement from the others.

The others, _of course_, have not given you the proper context for understanding this statement. It only makes to leave the boring yet vitally important details to me, doesn't it? Jerks…

Basically, when the Salvout-Ginli war had reached it end (after nearly _thirty years_ of fighting, I might add), the two leaders at the time agreed to a rather unconventional ceasefire. Not only was each nation to demand no reparations whatsoever from the other, but upon the island they reached their agreement on (henceforth named 'Armistice Island'. Creative, right?) they agreed to build a massive stadium for friendly Pokémon competition. The island is still the only peace of land that both Ginli and Salvout share ownership of.

The Pokémon league was set up so that half of the gyms were in Salvout, half in Ginli. If you were to start in say… I don't know… Pembrook, you'd head north to the closest gym in Woodale, then head even further northwest to Severna. From there, you'd cross the Ginvout River and end up right in the river town of Highbank. Further west is Jinford, and even _further_ west (lots of space in Ginli) is Califrey. Finally, the path turns east and heads towards Lakeless, before the path crosses the river again and leads back into Salvout, where Clockton and Nightcastle are.

Seems like quite a bit of travelling for ten-year-old children to do, huh? _Because it is._ The entire purpose was for younger generations on both ends to get a look at each other, and possibly forge relationships that could lead to a more stable peace between the two nations. Suffice it to say… eighty years later, we're not a whole lot farther than we ever were. But we haven't gone back to war so… that's something, right?

This was all explained to Medici during our 'visit' at Malick's, by the way. And I suppose I _could_ have just told you what they said, but it was pretty stilted, awkward, and circuitous. My version's a lot more succinct and informative. _You're welcome._

Other than our run-in with Malick, not a lot actually happened on our trip to Woodale. A couple of trainers along the way were completely destroyed by Axel, and there were a few nights where Medici decided it was a good idea to whip out his triple-neck guitar (compensation much?) and play "music." Other than that, though… nothing.

Except… maybe it was nothing… or maybe it was just my own ego telling me what I already knew, but I could have sworn that one night, as I was curling up next to our dying campfire, I heard a small voice whisper to me:

_You're better than all of this. Break away, before you become enslaved._

But it was probably nothing. Especially since the voice was so damn soothing.

So… yeah. After about a week and a half, we made it to Woodale. That's everything. Now buzz off.

Author's Note:

WHAT? Back-story? BADGES? _There's been a Totodile this whole time?_ Yes, yes, and yes. We here at Amaxing Fan Fiction Incorporated have buckled down and actually come up with a decently thought out plot! For the next… chapter or so, anyway? Maybe more. Maybe ALL THE CHAPTERS. But that doesn't seem very likely, does it? BUT IT COULD BE TRUE! But it probably isn't.

Questions Never Asked… Answer Anyway:

Ok, seriously, what the heck is with this universe? Are you a psychopath or something? STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD, DAMN IT! –

Yeah… about that. No, I'm not a psychopath, but as a guy who was ten when Pokémon first came out (ever!), you could say I grew up with it. And while Pokémon Coliseum kind of sort of took the franchise in a more realistic, darker direction… it was still pretty ideal.

I suppose you could say this story stems from childish love of a franchise combined with the slow, creeping cynicism that my impending adulthood brings. I look back on the games and think to myself… how the hell is Team Rocket the _only criminal organization worth mentioning?_ Every single human being from the age of ten is given the potential to possess a living flamethrower and _no one uses them for anything but stealing?_ Stuff like that.

I guess, in summary, I apologize for ruining your childhood. But good news! It was going to happen anyway! At least this way it's entertaining, right? …right?


	9. Chapter 8: A Flirt

Disclaimer: All your Pokémon are belong to us!

WHAT THE THAT MEME IS SO OLD AND WRONG I DON'T EVEN.

**Chapter 8a: A Flirt**

I have no illusions about my situation, and I'll be the first to admit that I'm _probably_ the luckiest person alive. In the tri-county area, at least.

For example: once, when I was five, I tripped and fell out of our apartment window… ten stories above the grounds. Yet, not three stories into my fall, I landed on a Fearow's back. Not only is a Fearow sighting pretty rare in the town of Woodale, but this particular Pokémon decided that, instead of pecking at me or shaking me off, it would fly down to the ground gently and allow me to get off safely.

A lot of people saw this as me being really good with Pokémon, and they put me on the fast track to being a Gym Leader (another stroke of luck, I might add). But I was there, and if I'm honest I agree with the Redwoodian interpretation: the Fearow, having lived in a world where humans and Pokémon have cooperated for centuries, actually understood I was a child in danger in responded accordingly. Either way… pretty lucky, right?

What was _also_ pretty lucky was that two years ago, when I became a Gym Leader at the ago of sixteen, they decided to rise the age for travelling trainers from ten to _eighteen._ Not only did this mean that I wouldn't have to deal with bratty kids who couldn't understand why their Sandshrews couldn't defeat a Lotad, but it also meant that, all of a sudden, my gym was being flooded by _hot, eighteen year old guys. _

It's perfectly understandable to see me as shallow here, seeing as the reason the age was raised was because of Death's rampaging. But I don't _have_ to just focus on the horrible parts, you know? Isn't it actually healthy to look on the bright side? I like to think so.

The name's Vanna, by the way… pronounced _Vah-Na_, not 'Vanna' like the girl from Wheel of Fortune. It rhymes with Madonna. And Lonna. And with Karma if you're willing to stretch it a little. Then again, karma is kind of like the opposite of luck, so we probably shouldn't go for that. Doesn't really make much sense, does it?

I'll be the first to admit to being a flirt. Can I help it if I enjoy it? To make a trainer's palms sweat and his face flush red before the battle's even begun… it's a thrill in and of itself. It also helps weed out the men from the boys… a _real_ trainer would never go easy on a girl just because she was cute. That'd just be plain wrong.

Yes, I know. Chivalry is dead because girls like me killed it. And you know what? I'm proud of it, too. Armor's never been the most flattering thing to look at.

It's fall now, so I've been taking Gardevoir out for walks by the pond a few blocks away. Since Attraction is one of the key moves in a female Pokémon's arsenal, I've been trying to get her to act a little more flirtatious but… she's always been Shy natured. Then again, that's often enough to get the attention of a few Pokémon (and guys… creepily enough), so maybe I shouldn't push it.

Still, when a Meditite comes up to you strumming a guitar and cooing classic Sinatra ballads, it's all right to go with it, Gardevoir. It's almost a waste to not flutter your eyelashes and toy with him a _little_, you know? Charge in, wielding the raw power of your own femininity!

Oh my. The Meditite has a _trainer. _A _cute_ one with an adorable Cyndaquil riding his shoulder, at that. And he's already blushing.

"Sorry…" he began, semi-hustling towards the Meditite. "Medici kind of has a tendency to… get carried away… with everything."

"Oh, don't worry about us," I said, consciously reddening my cheeks _ever _so slightly. "It's actually very sweet…. How long did it take you to train him like that?"

"Whoa, whoa, gorgeous," 'Medici' interrupted. "If there's anything certain in this world, it's that Axel will _never_ learn guitar." He smiled widely. "Believe me, I've tried training him. The results weren't great."

"Sorry, but…" 'Axel' responded. "I believe your method of teaching me was… 'Think the notes and your hands will know what to do', am I wrong?"

"_That's how you play guitar, Axel_," Medici responded.

"That's… uh… not how _humans_ play guitar, Medici."

"Well then you're all doing it wrong, aren't you?" The Pokémon concluded smugly.

I laughed. In earnest, believe it or not. "I'm sorry…" I ventured. "But… which one of you is in charge here, exactly?" By this point, Gardevoir had actually begun poking her head out from behind me.

"Well, I mean… it's _technically_ me… I guess," Axel said, looking over and receiving an affirmative nod from Medici. "But… I kind of like doing a… mutual respect sort of thing, rather than a chain of command." The black-haired trainer shrugged. "I mean, I've always done that, but I've _especially_ always done it after reading Redwood's research on the anthromorphization and personality development of Pokémon species. If he's right, it's basically the way trainers will have to treat all Pokémon in the next fifty years or so… um…" he paused. "But here I am going on about that and I don't even know your name…"

Just to recap: a cute, seemingly single trainer with adorable Pokémon that _reads Redwood._ There are times when I think my lucky star is the sun.

Half an hour of harmless flirting later and we were in Luvdisc Corner, a small coffee shop a few blocks downtown. I have no illusions about my actions… I know I come here with guys more often than I should. But it's just for fun… it's not as if I'm letting them _get_ anywhere. Well… except once.

"So in conclusion," Medici finished with a flourish. "_That_ is who we are, _that_ is what we're doing here, and _that _is why Amber 's staying at the hotel with Inigo, Shelligan, and Toto keeping her company. Let's hope she gets well soon, yeah?"

"She's not even really sick, Medici…" Axel tried to explain. "She just wanted to rest seeing as… you know, we were walking all day to begin with."

"But fatigue is one of the tell tale signs of illness! Honestly, you should know this Axel. All that time working in a grocery store hasn't taken away from your knowledge on everything else, has it?"

"I… it's not…" Axel sighed, smiling slightly. "Just forget it. I'm sure she'll be feeling better tomorrow."

I laughed again. It'd been a while since I'd actually been this amused. "Does he always do all the talking for you two?" I asked.

"Not exactly, it's just…" he paused. "As you can see, he's quite a bit better at it than me."

"Which I've always found weird, seeing as I'm pretty sure I _learned _it from you," Medici pointed out.

"I think you probably learned from Mr. Munson more than me, actually…"

"Is that why I always come off as condescending? Figures. Ah well, at least it's not my fault, right?"

"Yeah…" Axel nodded slowly, clearly amused. "That was… definitely the most important thing to get out of all that."

"Hell yeah! I've been on _fire_ recently!" He pumped the air with his fist, and a small ball of fire burst from his hand (startling the heck out of Frankie, our poor waiter.) "And speaking of on fire, that Gardevoir of yours, Lily? The one that hasn't said a single thing either out loud or psychically since we've all met? Very, _very_ hot. Good on you if you bred her or trained her to be that way because… well, _damn._"

This is the part where you blush and put a hand on your chest, Gardevoir… not hide under the table. Honestly, what am I going to do with you? (Incidentally, the reason Medici called me Lily? Let's just say I didn't want Axel to realize who I really was. Otherwise he'd be less inclined to agree to… well…)

"Hey… Axel…" I began, doing my best to sound like a damsel in distress. "It's… well, it's absolutely _horrible_ of me to ask this of somebody I've just met but… I've been busy lately and you seem like such a _strong_ trainer… could you do me a favor?"

"WE ACCEPT!" yelled Medici, striking a fearless pose.

"QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL!" yelled the Cyndaquil, striking an equally fearless pose on top of Axel's shoulder."

"Guys… calm down, we haven't even heard what the request is…" he tipped his visor. "Though, if Professor Layton's taught me anything, it's that a gentleman never refuses a request from a pretty lady."

"Oh!" I blushed, pretending to be startled by the compliment. "You're almost… _unbearably_ sweet, Axel; I… I don't nearly deserve…"

"Nonsense," he 'reassured' me. "We're not planning on heading to the gym right away anyway, so… what do you need?"

**8b: What Even a Warrior Fears**

I may not have said much about myself during the time I have narrated this story, but I would like to think that I have shown an inspiring amount of courage throughout the course of recent events. A true warrior never yields to anyone or anything unless it is absolutely necessary for the good of other people.

That being said, I would like to assure you that, while I am truly afraid of Amber when she flies into a rage, such does not indicate cowardice on my part. Rather, it falls into the category of prudence that I mentioned earlier.

"_You agreed to do WHAT? For WHO again?"_ Amber yelled, causing Shelligan and I to duck for cover behind the hotel's bed.

"I'm… not sure what I said that confused you…" Axel said, not a bit of sarcasm lacing his voice. "But ok, I'll try again… we met a nice girl named Lily who took us out for coffee and asked us to check up on someone in town who she hasn't heard from in a while."

"And by _took you out_ you mean, of course, led you to the coffee shop and then had you pay?" Amber said, _slightly_ more contained.

"Well… yes, come to think of it I suppose I technically took _her_ out, but… the point is…uh…" Axel paused, looking over to Medici for help. "Um… what was the point, again?"

"She and her Gardevoir were _hot_," the repugnant Meditite said without so much as batting an eye.

"No but… _besides_ that."

"There was a point besides that?"

Amber, showing incredible self-control in not slapping both of them, sighed heavily. "_This_ is exactly why I _knew_ I should have gone with you two. It's so obvious you're being used right now it's _painful._" She leaned closer to Axel's face, ensuring he was looking her in the eye. "You _do_ realize how painfully obvious it is you're being used by this 'Lily', yes? Please say yes."

"Yes, yup, yeah," Axel said, quickly nodding. "Completely. Couldn't be clearer." He backed away slowly. "But, you know Amber, I still don't see what could be so terrible about just… doing it. I mean it's not exactly a bad thing to be nice to people, you know? Even if they are… um… 'using' you."

Amber sighed heavily, sitting down dramatically on the bed, before smiling slowly. "Well… since it isn't anything like lending money or getting something back from an ex-boyfriend… I suppose we might as well help out. But only if you understand how _damn lucky_ you are that the favor she's using you for is so tame, got it?"

"Don't worry, Amber," Axel said, walking slowly out the door and towards the safety of his own hotel room. "I understand _perfectly_ just how lucky I am that today turned out the way it did."

Amber was off the bed, at the doorway slapping Axel, and back in the course of only 1.5 seconds. Is it acceptable to be afraid of her now?

Author's Note: 

To any women who are offended by my characterization of Vanna… good, I guess? Do keep in mind that she is a character… not a metaphor for every single woman I've ever dated. That would just… wait, what? Shut up, Amaxing, your girlfriend's not like that at all!

… She really isn't, I should add. Just to be clear.

But back on… topic, I guess? I was trying to make her seem flirtatious but not, you know, slutty. Did she come off that way? Let me know. Just to let you know that I _did_ consciously attempt to do that, the line that reads "Armor's never been the most flattering thing to look at" was originally "Armor's pretty hard to get a man out of" so… there was indeed some scaling back.

As a final side note: being a straight male attempting to write using the voice of a flirtatious girl that's approximately my age? _Super weird._ Especially the part about how lucky it is to have your Gym be suddenly flooded with hot teenage guys. It's just… what? I don't know.

Viva la feminism?


	10. Chapter 9: A Grandstander

Disclaimer:

When my need to be creative

Turns to lust that can't be sated

No concern for how I'm hated

Can make late the lust's abatement

As my need to feel elated

Turns to rash poeticism

And my mind and sense do schism

Like light aiming through a prism

There are no walls to this prison

Yet I cannot help but listen

For the jailors walking by to tell me of the law's decision

To my claim of high position, made in absence of all wisdom

That I… own… Nintendo. Which I don't.

That was… almost impressive, wasn't it? Ah well.

**Chapter 9: A Grandstander**

Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all ages, Friends, Esteemed members of the council, and Jeff Bridges, lend me your ears! Come bear witness to the fantastic, inconceivable, yet entirely true long-awaited narration by the one, the only, _Shelligan the Squirtle!_

It's a wonderful stage name, isn't it? Unfortunately, my old trainer believed that a showman should maintain his persona both on _and_ off stage so… it's also my real name. And while Axel has offered to change it for me… I couldn't. It's really the only piece of him I have left.

Since I'm not a man to drop tiny details like that and not elaborate on them fully, I shall give this part of my life the full allotment of stage time it deserves. My owner was killed. By Death himself. Axel, simply by virtue of being Axel, was a close friend of his and… well, I've been beyond returning to the wild for quite some time, now. The comforts that a successful career in showbiz affords are far more tantalizing than the simpler life of… _river living._ No offense to those that love it, but I'll take a hotel over a pond any day of the week.

Which is why I eagerly volunteered to accompany Axel and Amber on their way to completing Axel's latest random side quest (he's got a habit of picking up a lot of those. Perhaps he's going for 100% completion? _IN LIFE?_) A chance to see the city of Woodale, famous for its magnificent wooden architecture as well as its fine brews and spirits? Don't mind if I _do_, good sir. A round of your best stout for me, and some Irish coffee for my trainer. _Real_ Irish coffee too, good sir, he's actually _nineteen_ believe it or not. [_Totodile Edit: The context for this statement has not, yet AGAIN, been laid out for you. The legal drinking age in Salvout is 18. _You're welcome. _Now back to Shelligan._]

After making a mental note to stop by a particularly popular-seeming watering hole and at least _attempt_ to have this conversation with the local barkeep (remember: I can't exactly speak other than 'Squirt Squirtle'), I followed our fearless leader (and Axel) further downtown into a residential district. My previous master's philosophy of constant performance still rooted in my being, I spun and flipped wildly through the streets while doing so, grinding the edges of buildings and curbs as if I were a shelled skateboard. All this while holding onto the package that Lily had asked us to bring this 'Mr. Bertrand.'

After a few blocks worth of spinning, we finally reached the address that Lily had specified: a single-floor flat at 133 Oak Street. It was a normal specimen for the area, by all accounts, tinted windows, rustic-looking red-brown brick façade, and, sticking out from the other domiciles nearby, trimmings blacker than an Umbreon's coat in the summer… _dipped in ink._

Medici floated upwards to the door knocker, rapping it unceremoniously. "BERTY!" he yelled. "Lily says hi! Open up!" This behavior immediately won the scorn of Amber, who unleashed a fearsome forehand that would Maria Sharapova cry from sheer jealousy.

"Mr. Bertrand?" Amber asked in a polite, respectful tone. "We're acquaintances of Lily Parsons? She asked us to deliver something to you?"

Dead silence. For a moment, I thought I heard something shift inside the flat, but no one came to the door.

"Ah well!" Medici said with a shrug of his shoulders. "We tried. Let's head back now, eh? Maybe we'll 'accidentally' run into that Gardevoir in the park again…"

"Now, now… let's not be hasty…" Axel responded. "She _did_ tell us that he might not come to the door, remember? That's why she told us where the key was." He squatted down, rustling through a nearby bush until he found a rock. Fumbling with it, he eventually swung open the bottom to reveal… nothing. Such a momentous build-up for such an anticlimactic event.

Axel sighed, dropping the rock back in the bush and taking a step back, surveying the house. Smiling slightly, he pointed to the roof. "Looks like Christmas comes early this year for our Mr. Bertrand. You know what to do, Shelligan."

Having anticipated Axel's command before he even said it, I was already grinding the side of the houses' roof. A quick shift of momentum, the slightest flourish, and a succinct "Squirt!" and down the chimney I ricocheted.

I landed in ashes, only natural as I was in a fireplace. Not a single light was on, and the only things that cut through the darkness were the rays of sunlight that eked through the venetian blinds. I shuddered. If there's anything a performer fears, it's a lack of light. How's anyone supposed to see you?

The room I was in was a sitting room, but it clearly hadn't been used to entertain in a while. The only thing piece of furniture not completely covered in dust was an armchair that looked like it had been consistently flopped down upon with complete abandon. Next to it, on a large table, sat countless newspaper clippings and magazine articles, strewn and stacked in a messy, yet organized fashion.

Curiosity never having killed the turtle (yet), I worked my way over to the table, setting Ms. Lily's package down on the sitting chair. Climbing up to the arm, I looked over the pages.

I gulped. Each page had, either circled or marked by hand, and article about one of Death's victims. _Man Thunderbolted outside Lakeless. Woman found dead, shards of Steel Wing detected. _And so on. Titles were circled, details, underlined… some were even _corrected_. One particular handwritten comment questioned why the investigators had _missed a body_.

I wasn't going to take any chances, not having already felt Death's sting once before. I spun towards the door as quickly as I could, but before I could make it out, I heard a loud cough.

I froze. Slowly spinning around, I came face to face with… nothing. I admonished myself for jumping to conclusions. Someone could actually be sick, perhaps in need.

Still a good idea to open the door and let everyone else in first, though.

"Ugh…" Amber said quietly as she came inside. "Doesn't exactly clean much, does he?" She cleared her throat. "Hello? Mr. Bertrand? We're here with a package from Ms. Lily?"

No response. I called Medici's attention, relating my discovery to him. He floated over to the chair-side table, thumbing through the articles rapidly. If there were anyway of making a decent show of the Meditite's learning capacity, it would make _millions_.

"Looks like we've got a sick-o obsessive, Axel," he said, handing our master some of the pages. "What do you think? Wannabe Private Eye? Potential copycat? Plain old loony?"

"Let's not jump to any conclusions…" Axel said quickly. "A lot of people read the reports almost religiously, you know? Just to make sure that it wasn't someone they knew."

"This is _clearly_ not just a case of that," Medici retorted.

"Well… yeah, probably not," Axel admitted, walking down the hallway into the house itself. "Hello? Mr. Bertrand?" Doors closed and opened, and there were a few sounds of rustling. After a few minutes, Axel came back with a shrug. "Not here," he concluded. "No reason to stay then, is there?"

Absolutely right! Let's get out of here immediately, shall we?

We reported back to Ms. Lily, who had agreed to let Axel takes us all out for Lunch afterwards. Despite the obvious tension between Amber and the as-of-yet-oblivious-to-ill-will Ms. Lily, I hardly noticed much other than my Pallet of berries, which tasted far better than usual for some reason. Unfortunately, my juggling display, while winning many rounds of applause, did not pay for our meal, so Axel's wallet was, unfortunately, drained yet again. But what's a simple bard to do?

"By the way…" Lily asked, stretching what may have been a _tad_ too much (but was not unappreciated). "Did Bertie say anything about why he hasn't been in touch lately? I know it's a bit late to ask, but…"

"We never actually saw him," Axel told her. "Should I… I guess I should have mentioned that at the very beginning, huh…"

Lily froze, looking at Axel as if judging whether he was trustworthy or not. She must have decided neither way, because she asked again: "what do you mean he wasn't there?"

"Um…" Axel paused, fishing for words. "I mean that… his physical being… wasn't occupying the… space?" He thought over his sentence for a minute, then nodded. "Yeah. Sorry if that wasn't clear before."

"Are you being _sassy_ with me?" Lily asked with a small smile.

"_No,_" Amber said with a sigh. "He actually thought you didn't understand."

"Right…" Lily chuckled, smile quickly fading nonetheless. "Hm…" she paused, lost in thought, and then pulled a Pokéball from her belt. "Gallade! Go!" A green and white Pokémon, giant at what must have been nearly seven feet, stood before her, quickly bowing. "Madame?" It said in English, utterly polite.

"Head over to work and tell them I'll be taking the rest of the day off, please," she said. "I've got something I need to do."

"Right away," the Gallade said, leaping out the window bravely… and unnecessarily.

"What's the matter?" Medici asked. "I'm sure he'll be back sometime soon."

"No, he won't," Lily said quickly. "You see, the package I asked you to give to him… was medicine." She bit her lower lip. "Bertie's not in the best condition… last I knew, he wasn't able to leave his bed." She looked up at Axel. "You're sure he wasn't there?"

Axel nodded slowly, and then looked over to Amber. "You're in, right?"

She nodded.

"Alright then," he said with determination. "Everyone, senses raised. We've got a mission person to find."

Authors Note:

We're updating surprisingly regularly recently.

This should concern all of you.

Why? Well… um, and… don't rush me! Jeez, why do you ask so many questions?

Oh wait… I've never told you that you can ask questions, have I? Well then… um… you totally can!

Believe it or not, the world this is set in is pretty well fleshed out! If you wanted to ask something about history or back-story, if it doesn't spoil the plot, I'll answer it! I suppose if you wanted to know more about me, I'd answer too. Or if you wanted to ask a character a question directly, or… whatever. Either review or pm if you're curious about anything! Or don't! But here's a sample just in case you do!

Question: Ok, when you do these author's notes things, is it actually _your_ voice, or do you adopt a persona?

Answer: An astounding question! There is in fact a Persona-like element to writing these things. After I'm done writing the chapter, I pull out an Evoker, point it at my head and yell "PERSONA!" really loudly before pulling the trigger. The resulting splatter falls onto the page and, presto! Instant author's note!

(For those who don't understand the reference: this is clearly not a reliable statement. Shooting yourself in the head will not result in better writing. It will result in death, which is mayhaps the opposite. So DON'T DO IT. Or do. I don't…. SMACK!

Amber: _You damn well BETTER care is your readers are shooting themselves!_

Ack! I'm sorry! You're right, of course. Don't do that.

… Viva la feminism?


	11. Chapter 10: But There Was No Bertrand

Disclaimer: Amaxing doesn't own Monster Energy Drinks!

… It's true! Look it up!

On a completely unrelated note, though, they're really good! You should buy them. NOW.

This is NOT an attempt at drawing the attention of someone to sponsor me. That'd be crude and uncouth. And I am very, VERY couth.

**Chapter 10: But There Was No Bertrand**

**Amber**

As fake and manipulative as 'Lily' has been in the very brief time Axel's known her, she certainly seemed genuinely shocked when we told her that Bertrand was gone. It was _almost_ enough to convince me she really was just busy, and concerned enough to ask some random boy she met to check up on him. _Almost_.

I'm not _jealous_, mind you. I realize that's exactly what a jealous person would say, but you know better that… I think. Though he's older, Axel's kind of like a little brother to me, and to see some pompous, high-heel wearing, _eyelash-fluttering succubus _play around with him is just… I'm sorry. I'll calm down now.

Our first effort, asking around town if anyone had seen Bertrand recently, was probably doomed from the start. Even before he contracted… whatever (Lily wasn't exactly forthcoming with the details) Bertrand never got out a whole lot. How he became acquaintances with someone with their heads as far up in the clouds as Lily's is beyond me, but… I said I would stop, didn't I?

Axel eventually had Medici take over the task of interviewing the townsfolk: not only would they be less likely to lie to a guitar-carrying Meditite, but… he could also just read their minds. It's hard to lie against someone like that unless you know Occlumency, which, as at least Axel seems to think, is a real thing you can learn how to do. Learn something new every day, I suppose.

The rest of us (Lily and Gardevoir included) decided to head back to Bertrand's place to do a more thorough investigation; I reasoned that no matter if he'd gone somewhere or something had happened to him, there might be some clue as to where he was. A sickly person couldn't exactly leave his house without leaving _some_ evidence behind of what he'd done, right? Not that I was eager to go back to a place that reeked of Death so much.

The sitting room was in the same condition that we had left it in hours ago (I probably would left right then and there if it wasn't). Lily showed a bit of surprise at the various articles strewn across the room, but also nodded knowingly.

"He has a tendency to be a bit obsessive," she explained. "Once he takes an interest in something, it's almost impossible to steer him of course. Sometimes it gets so bad he doesn't _sleep_." She shook his head. "That's part of the reason his health is so bad, I keep telling him, but he insists he doesn't need more than four hours a night."

"See, Amber? It's _not_ just me!" Axel said triumphantly, smiling over in my direction.

I sighed. "Axel, focus… we can talk about how similar you are to sick people later, ok?"

Lily chuckled. Axel nodded. Shelligan spun around in his shell. Qwill, oblivious to the rest of us, lit a fire in the fireplace. I sighed again. Was there anyone here other than me who just wanted to get this over with?

Inigo let out a loud cry, and pointed my attention to the fireplace. I prepared myself to tell him that, yes, I'd seen Qwill light the fire, but stopped myself. The fire, no matter how many times Qwill lit it, went instantly out, extinguished by some draft on unknown origin. Inigo stopped Qwill, poked around in the fireplace with his blades, and let out another cry, lifting the floor from the fireplace to reveal a large hole, with stairs leading further down.

At this point, I decided it was best to call the police. Not that I could, as Axel was already heading down the stairs. I tried stopping him, gave up at about "I really think we should…" and told Toto to stand guard. She didn't like that, but… she doesn't like anything, really. One of these days I need to set aside some time to get her a haircut… that's supposed to improve her mood, right?

Axel and Qwill, each as inquisitive as the other, were already poking around the basement area. The stacks of articles were even more profuse here, some so old that they were serving as nourishment for a host of different molds and mildews. In addition to the articles, there were also a multitude of videotapes, stacked almost to the ceiling in places. I grabbed one labeled 'May 20th', searching for the VCR that was surely _somewhere_, and eventually found a dusty, archaic model in the corner. Lily and Axel gathered around, and I placed the cartridge in the slot.

A face appeared on the screen, clothed in a long black robe and a Duskull mask, piercing blue eyes glowing from beneath. I shivered. Coming face to face with Death will do that to you.

_Hello, Salvout_, said Death. _It's that time again… aren't you excited to see who it was this time?_

_ For starters, if the Woodale authorities search the area of Oakridge forest near the river, they'll find the flattened bodies of a young couple that decided that fishing in a restricted zone was a good time. You're welcome, Oakridge Rangers. You owe me one._

_Secondly, I believe that the snow banks in Severna have thawed enough that you can begin searching for this winter's harvest. I was not quite as diligent with my records as I was last year, but I can tell you that if you find around thirty bodies, you're _about_ halfway done. Most of them are encased in ice, so the smell shouldn't be nearly as bad as it was last spring. Again, you're welcome. You owe me one._

_ And lastly, I've decided that I'm going to take a nice beachside vacation this summer. I do _not_ want to be bothered, so make sure to clear the beaches or I'll do it for you, ok? Though I suppose if _none_ of you show up then it won't be nearly as fun as it could be, will it?_

_ Oh, and to the police who will no doubt be staking out the beach undercover and harassing every person who decides to risk going this summer, remember one thing. _

_ I'll be watching you._

_ So do be careful, won't you?_

The tape cut out, and the VCR popped the tape out. I heard Lily gulp, and glanced back to see Axel with his head resting in one hand.

"What the _hell_ have you been doing, Bertrand?" Lily whispered, backing away slowly.

"Discovering the _truth,_" came a wheezing voice, making us all jump. The accompanied heavy coughing, however, made it seem less of a threat, and so I stupidly turned a corner to face down the owner of the voice.

And then I saw him. _Him. _The Duskull mask, the black robes…. They were there, _standing right in front of me._

I screamed, falling to the floor. Before the sobs could come out, though, Axel was there, grabbing my shoulders and steadying me, talking soothingly.

"It's ok. It's just a costume," he whispered, turning my head towards it again. "There's no one behind it, look, it's just a replica. It's ok. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Looking again, my senses restored, I saw that the costume was just that… a costume, hanging on the wall in what almost seemed like… a shrine. Looking around the room, I saw that, in addition to the reconstructed costume, there were hundreds of photographs of what I took to be Death's various crime scenes, as well as a large object, covered by an enormous blanket. Sitting on a bed in the corner, eyes ragged from obsessive work and lack of sleep was Bertrand, a wiry, middle-aged man with far too many grey hairs.

"Bertrand…" Lily said carefully, slowly walking towards the man, package in hand. "I don't know… what all this, and I don't _want_ to… just… here's your medicine. Why don't we take you upstairs, lay you down, and…"

"_Quiet!" _the man yelled, force undermined by the violent coughing fit that followed. "I don't need any more fake sympathy from you, Vanna."

"Vanna?" Axel asked confused. "I think the sickness has gone to your head, Bertie, her name is Lily."

I sighed. "Axel…" I patiently explained. "I think it's pretty obvious that this girl's been lying through her teeth the whole time."

"Way to be subtle about it," Vanna whispered.

"No need to be _shy_ about it, love, it's who you are," Bertie spat.

"Bertrand, for the _last time_," Vanna said, seeming genuinely exasperated. "I am _not_ just friends with you because it makes you more likely to fix things for me!" She blinked. "That… that didn't help."

"No need to pretend anymore," the man coughed. "I haven't much time left… but, at the very least, I can make this world better before I go."

"By… training Pokémon to kill people?" I asked.

"What? _No! By bringing the people responsible for all this to justice!"_

"People… plural?" Axel asked.

"Ay…" the man said, getting up slowly from his bed and pulling files from a nearby filing cabinet. "I've been doing a lot of searching. Going through articles, watching _his_ speeches… you want to know what I've found?" He slammed into Axel's hands. "The details for the so-called 'Ginli deaths'… they're not nearly as precise as the ones detailing Salvout's."

I looked at one of the papers, the _Salvout Sun._ "All of these are Salvout newspapers…" I said. "Since out two nations aren't exactly open with each other… _of course_ they won't be as detailed."

"_Yeah?_" Bertrand spat. "Then what about _his_ speeches, eh? Why does he always address Salvout, huh? _If there are really people dying on both sides, why does he single _us_ out?_"

"Bertrand…" Vanna said slowly. "Salvout and Ginli have different television networks…. Completely different _broadcasting systems_. Don't you think…"

"I've done my thinking!" Bertrand yelled, drawing another ragged cough from his chest. "And you know what? They've got that _asylum_ over in Lakeless, right? The one where all of Ginli's freaks are put? Well here's what I figure…" he leaned closer, and we all instinctively flinched. "They decided they'd let one of _them_ loose on us over her in Salvout, yeah? _Thin out our numbers. Soften us up so we'll be more likely to surrender when they come and try and take us over again, yeah?_ Well I won't have it!"

He hobbled over to the large object, grasping the blanket. "It's taken years… scrounging part after part. I feel like I've had to fight Death off with my bare hands just to stay alive long enough to complete it… but now it's done! _Now I'll make them pay for what they've done to our country!"_

And he pulled back the blanket, revealing a missile. At least, an attempt at one.

"Easy, easy _easy!_" Axel screamed. "Let's not get hasty here! I'm sure that there's…"

"_There is no other way!" _ The man yelled insanely, fire burning in his weary eyes. All I've got to do is press the button and this will soar towards Ginli, taking them all out in one fell swoop!"

"Bertrand, _stop!"_ Vanna yelled, running forward and grabbing the man with both hands. "We're underground! And that _clearly will not work!_ Come back with me, you need help!"

"_I don't need help from someone like you!_" he screamed, throwing her away with strength he shouldn't have had. Desperately, he slammed down the large red button on the side of the missile, and to my horror, a flame burst out from under the missile. With no functional targeting system, it flew straight forward… towards the basement wall not ten feet away.

It… it's just not supposed to be this way!

Author's Note:

Question's never asked, ans… wait. _What is with this question doing actually having been asked?_

I'm not exactly prepared for this. Focus, Amaxing! Chug that Monster Rehab (now available in stores!)! You can do this!

While not actually phrased as a question, reader Stollos said something similar to the following:

_Why is it that eighteen-year-old trainers started showing up almost immediately after the age limit was raised? Shouldn't there have been a gap of eight years for people who hadn't gone through the gyms before to finally be of age? And isn't travelling on the Gym Leader's circuit now a bit suicidal?_

These are all good points! I honestly don't know why you guys didn't pick up on them before! + 5 for Stollos, - 10 for everyone else! Nah, just kidding. MINUS TWENTY for everyone else. But seriously, it's fine.

Basically, since travelling through the various nations on the way to reaching the Pokémon league championship is so crucial to the peace treaty between Salvout and Ginli, it's set up a little differently than usual. Gym badges are only good for the year that they're issued, and then the League issues new ones. To the same gyms, yes, but with various modifications to the types and levels of Pokémon used for earning each badge.

It's a pretty complicated and highly regulated system, yeah, and that was _before_ the killings started. Because of this, being a trainer is basically like holding a full-time job. That, in turn, is why trainers continue to travel the circuit, even with Death on the loose. For many of them, it's all they've ever wanted to do… in some cases it's all they know.

But since Toto is the only one who bothers explaining such things in story, I can see why it would seem like a continuity issue. And even if, somehow, someway, the incredibly likely event occurred that I just overlooked this issue… now that I've given this explanation, IT IS CANON.

So yeah… answering reader inquiries… now officially a thing? Let's hope so. It's fun. Thanks Stollos!

Viva la feminism? (Is this my official signature now?)


	12. Chapter 11: TWDNIFEWY

Disclaimer: Of all the franchises in all the world… you had to go and own this one, didn't you Nintendo?

**Chapter 11: The World Does Not, In Fact, End With You**

**Vanna**

You have to understand. I never saw this coming. The Bertrand I know… my Bertrand… would never do this. What could I have possibly done?

I'll admit that, at first, I became friends with Bertrand by convenience. The man was a mechanical genius, and would often fix things around the gym for nothing more than a wink and a smile. But… after a while… the smiles became genuine, and often times I would invite him to come over just to talk, often saying there was a light bulb in need of changing that was _just_ out of reach. He was an interesting man, for all his strange obsessions, and listening to him spin crackpot theories about secret societies or recite, from memory, the mechanical workings of a Pokéball was… fun.

Looking back, I suppose I should have been a little more sincere in telling him so. When he first got sick, he joked that if he couldn't fix things for me anymore, then there wasn't any point in staying friends. I laughed and smiled. I didn't realize… I _couldn't_ have realized that he was somewhat serious, could I?

Not that it matters now. The missile works, of course, it _was_ Bertrand that built it. I can already feel the heat; see the red flare bursting from the capsule. I always thought, like a lot of people, that Death would just come for me one day. I didn't realize he could act through someone I cared about.

The explosion went off, unleashing a concussive sound wave that made my ears ring in pain. I closed my eyes, waiting for the heat and shrapnel to wash over me.

Nothing. Was death really his painless? I opened my eyes, and was shocked to see a bright, translucent blue wall where non had been before. I glanced around quickly and some none other than the Meditite, his head held low, shaking visibly.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, letting the Barrier down. "If I'd gotten here just a minute sooner, I could've saved him too."

My confusion lasted only a second. Gasping, I quickly looking back, seeing that the Meditite had only had time to encase the room… not the missile itself. Bertrand lay on the ground, shrapnel everywhere. I couldn't help but cry.

"That won't do anything," Axel said quickly, crossing the room as if nothing had happened. "We need to get him to a hospital, _fast._ Do you have any flying Pokémon?"

Nodding, I let out my Xatu… but before I could say a thing, Axel was already telling it exactly what to do, lifting Bertrand's wounded body onto it's back and telling it to hurry. …She obeyed instantly. As she flew away, I heard a moan coming from Bertie's throat and couldn't help but cry again… this time from relief.

The next time I was really conscious of my surroundings was in the hospital waiting room. Everything up until then is a blur, worried thoughts mixed with hazy images from the gym, telling everyone what had happened; from the front desk, seeing where they had taken Bertrand and how he was doing; and from the room itself, it's pale blue walls and grey and red-flecked carpet.

I would have just stared at the carpet until news came, had the Cyndaquil not walked up to me and looked in my eyes, inquisitively. My eyes widened, and I looked up, surprised (though I shouldn't have been) to see Axel, Amber, and their Pokémon all sitting there too, waiting.

"You're... still here?" I managed.

"Of course!" Axel said immediately.

"It's not like we have much else to do..." said Amber, attempting to undercut Axel's enthusiasm.

"Who _else_ is going to comfort Gardevoir, if not me?" Medici chimed in, winking at her. Gardevoir, naturally, retreated even further behind my legs. A chuckle surfaced. What right did these people have to be so darn nice?

I looked at Axel, and could instantly tell (mostly from his complete failure at keeping a straight face) that he wanted to say something. I pretty much knew what the question was going to be, but I still asked, with an ever-so-slightly dainty voice: "what's wrong, Axel? You look like you want to say something."

"I'm not sure if it's really appropriate to talk about now," Axel replied.

"That's never stopped you before," Amber commented.

"Good point," Axel nodded, giving Amber cause to face palm. "Anyways... back there, Bertrand said that your name was 'Vanna', right?"

"Yes," I responded hesitantly. "What of it?"

"That's also... the gym leader's name in Woodale, if I'm remember correctly," he said, checking with Amber, who nodded. "Is that just coincidence, or...?"

"Well... no," I said, blushing. "I _am_ the gym leader here. It's just..." Now how was I going to answer this question again? "You seemed like _such_ a nice guy when I first met you... I figured if you knew I was the gym leader here, you'd form an opinion of me before you really got to know you."

... Is what I'd have said to anyone else. Is what I _had_, in fact, said to all other people (well... except one). But, try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to toy with Axel... both because of what had just happened and also because... well, I just didn't want to.

"It's just... to be honest... it's easier to convince someone to do something for you if they don't see you as any sort of competition. Add in a particularly feminine sounding name and... yeah." I paused. "_Your_ judgments here are accurate, and not what I want to here right now," I said, pointing at Amber. "Sorry."

"Oh, it's ok, I forgive you," Axel said quickly.

"I... I haven't even..." I stuttered, taken aback. "I was apologizing to _her_ for asking her not to talk, not... I mean I was _going_ to, but I hadn't..."

"Pro tip," Amber said, leaning over and patting my shoulder gently. "Just go with it. The effort it takes to explain it to him isn't worth it."

"Exactly." Axel agreed with a nod. "And besides, I _have_ to be nice to you, don't I?" He stated with a smile. "I haven't gotten your badge yet!"

I honestly felt like hugging him. Well, all right, I felt like doing quite a bit more but... oh yeah! This was about the time that the nurse came in!

When the woman clad in pink called out Bertrand's name, all of us instantly forgot our conversation and bolted up to her, barraging her with questions.

"He's in critical condition, but he's stable for now," she said with a comforting smile. "The Xatu that brought him was yours, right?" she asked, gesturing towards me. "That was a huge part of saving him. Had he gotten here any later, we probably couldn't have done anything for him."

"I... well, it was my Xatu." I nodded. "But... it was really Axel who thought to send him so quickly..."

"Really?" the nurse said, turning to Axel. "Acting that calmly under pressure... that's actually quite impressive, you know?"

"Oh... it was nothing really," Axel said, turning red. "I mean, had to deal with a thing or two like this for work before, so it's really just second nature by now."

"Really?" the nurse said, leaning in closer. "That's so interesting! What sort of work was that, exactly?"

As Axel began to explain his past life experiences as a... grocer? How does this have anything do do with... well, whatever. As he began to chat up the nurse, I felt a tug on my arm, and looked down to see Medici, clearly uneasy.

"Hey..." he said hesitantly. "Um... I know we just met and all, but... is there any chance I can crash at your place tonight?"

I blinked in surprise, but felt I owed him at least a "why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just... I know Amber will say no, and if this conversation ends the way I _think_ it's going to end..." he paused. "It'll be the Pokéball for all of us. And they're... not _entirely_ soundproof."

I looked from Medici, to the nurse who _clearly_ should have been attending to other patients at this point, and back to Medici again. "Just don't try anything funny with Gardevoir, ok?" I warned.

"Scouts honor," he said, with a salute of thanks.

Author's Note:

A pervert you say? I'm offended by the accuracy of your accusation, good sir or madam!

Since it's actually a common theme at this point, I feel I might as well address it. It's Axel. It doesn't have anything to do with the gender as a whole, or about regional difference or any other explanation you can come up with. It's Axel. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then don't worry! YOU ARE ALREADY WINNING, GOOD SIR OR MADAM. YOU GET DORITOS.

I realize this chapter is short, considering how long it took to get out, but I can explain. The shortness is because of how little there was to actually wrap up in this plot thread, and the long-ness was figuring out which character was best suited to tell it! _All you helpful people from the comments who said the constant swapping of perspectives could get very tricky and I should be super careful: YES. YOU ALSO GET DORITOS._

Incidentally, this chapter was _not_ brought to you by Doritos! Why would you even think that?

Viva la feminism?

.


	13. Chapter 12: The Soft Sell

Pre-fic celebration: Shattered Illusion is now the 3rd longest story I've written for this site! What do you to say to that, cast?

Amber: We live in a world where any of us could die at any given second and, including the prologue, this is the 13th entry you've written. Should we be _happy _about our circumstances?

Axel: I think so! It _does_ say 'celebration' up on top, doesn't it?

Amber: … Just… just read the disclaimer, Max.

Amaxing: _Why do all our names start with A?_

Disclaimer: The word does not start with A. This is a relief to us all.

**Chapter 12: The Soft Sell**

**Shelligan**

Squirt squi-squirtle Squirtle-squirt!

Roughly translated: Oy vey. What a night.

It certainly would have nice if the ever-resourceful and persuasive Medici had decided to let the _rest_ of us in on his procuring of alternative lodgings but… I get the feeling if I had thought to tell us, he'd no longer be the ever resourceful and persuasive Medici we all know and live with.

Not that I begrudge anyone involved, mind you. A true entertainer learns to sleep under any circumstances: from the jarring and noisy rattling of a low-rate sleeper car to the quite-probably infested hostels and motels that dot country back roads. The key, really, is to be secure in the fact that, no matter what your happenstance may be, you are doing what you love: and that's all that matters.

That being said, it is still a bit difficult to retreat into your own personal shell when what's keeping you awake is someone you know. It's the fact that the person is part of said doing what you love that makes the Withdrawal just the slightest bit impossible. So in the end I didn't get quite as much sleep as I might have liked last night.

Which still isn't as big a deal as you might think. While the first quality of an entertainer is the ability to sleep anywhere, the second is being able to operate at full force without sleep. So when Axel, particularly energetically, declared that today was the day we earned our first Gym badge, I wasn't concerned in the least. Bring it on, I say! I'll give them a performance they shan't forget!

Though first I suppose, I'll have to be incredibly polite to them, as Axel's sent me off to fetch Medici from their house. I have to admit, I never quite expected to visit a Gym leader's house during our journey… not to mention knock on the door and ask if our friend was still asleep. Then again, perhaps I should have expected this, seeing as it's Axel.

I wound my way through Woodale's streets, stopping only briefly to purchase a cup of hand-pressed apple cider from a local street vendor. Of course, after drinking it, I was forced to buy an entire gallon… by the entertainer's code, naturally. Maintain an eye for quality and reward it when you find it… and hopefully your audience will do the same.

Eventually, I reached Vanna's place, a ground-floor apartment in a nice, but not particularly fancy complex. I knocked on the door, absentmindedly juggling a few stones as I waited, until a Gallade (the same from earlier) answered the door.

"Ms. Vanna is busy," it said with all the formality and dignity of a butler.

"I'm only here to pick up my friend," I said quickly. "The Meditite? Probably still asleep on your couch or whatnot?"

"You mean that insolent, disrespectful cur?"

"Probably. Sounds about right."

"Right this way," he said, motioning for me to enter. "I'll be _happy_ to get rid of it. Do you know how much his very _presence_ terrified Lady Gardevoir? With each passing wink that I saw him give her, I couldn't help but become enraged. _a._ And I'm not the type to often let my emotions get to me, but you have to understand…"

I stopped paying attention at this point, preferring to let my eyes wander around the place instead. It was nice enough… standard apartment furniture maintained quite well, as well as a few paintings by some local artists that were… quite good, actually. It's just… I don't know. From Vanna's captivating personality, I'd expected the place to feel a little less empty.

Vanna herself was in the kitchen, talking on the phone from the sound of it. Desperate to hear anything but the Gallade ramble on about Medici, I… well, I suppose you could say I eavesdropped a little. Not that most people watch what they say around Pokémon anyway.

"_What?_" I heard her say loudly. "What do you mean that… _I helped stop it._ Yes, he was my friend, but… I see. You honestly think it's for the best? I still don't feel comfortable with it, is all…"

And this is why you should never eavesdrop: it's hard not to feel guilty if you've heard something you shouldn't have.

At the end of the hall, the Gallade pushed open a door, revealing Medici spread out across the bottom of the bathtub. I smiled, seeing he was taking a few of the entertainer's principles to heart, and gently shook him awake. And, unlike my friend Inigo, when I say shook… I do mean shook.

"Wazza… wat… hey… Shelly…" he said groggily, rubbing his eyes. "What… what time is it?"

"Around noon," I said, checking the watch that I wasn't wearing.

"What the… oh _come on_, why'd you have to wake me up so early?"

"We're taking on our first gym leader today. Sort of a big deal."

"Wait, wait, wait…" the Gallade blurted out. "Are you saying that this lazy, incorrigible ragamuffin is going to have not only intruded and befouled Miss Vanna's _house_, but also her _gym?_"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Medici replied almost instantly. "Did you honestly just use the word 'ragamuffin'?" He laughed. "What's next? Are you going to don a bowler hat and grow a handlebar moustache?"

"Put on a cheap suit, carry a cane, and constantly fall over yourself?" I couldn't help but chime in.

"Turn yourself black, white, and grainy and start writing things down to match your lip flaps?"

"I think we're done here, Medici."

"Yeah, probably. It looks like his head's about to explode, doesn't it?"

"_GET. OUT!_" the Gallade yelled, prompting our speedy retreat from the premises.

As we rushed towards the door, it opened, and Medici, reacting faster than I probably ever could, threw up a barrier that the both of us smacked into. It was worth it, though, because we prevented colliding with the always-pretty Lady Gardevoir. Not that it prevented her from turning red, placing a hand over her mouth, and retreating to the nearest corner. Medici, if anything persistent, gave a grandiose bow in her direction before leaving, and I quickly followed behind.

As confident as this may have made him seem, we weren't walking more than five minutes before his cocky grin faded, and he began to slump.

"I just don't get it, Shelly," he said plaintively. "I mean I've tried almost everything on that girl, you know? Singing, strumming… hell, I even dropped most of my act and just straight up tried _talking_ to her." He shrugged. "Nothing."

"I hate to bring this up, but you _are_ from different egg groups, you know. There's a good likelihood that she just… um, you know… doesn't find you attractive?"

"If that's the case, then why do _I_ find _her_ attractive, eh? It's _clearly_ not impossible."

"You're also quite a bit more… and don't be offended by this… _human_ than the average Pokémon, Medici." I explained. "I mean, just for comparison, while I recognize that she is, in fact, a very pretty Gardevoir… I'm about as attracted to her as I would be a Charizard."

Medici cringed, an expression that made a nearby group of children giggle. "Did you _honestly_ just make that comparison? _Really _Shelly? I'm… I'm quite disturbed right now, actually." He was silent for a moment. "And… for it's worth, I think you're wrong. Or, rather…" he paused again, looking for words. "I kind of suspect she's as… for lack of a better word… _human_ as I am."

"Well alright then," I said, humoring him. "Let's suppose you _do_ have a chance. The error of your ways is _clearly_ in your approach."

"What's wrong with my approach?" He said defensively. "It's never failed me before."

"No, you're right, it hasn't," I agreed. "Your over the top, crooning, smart alec approach at winning people over is, quite often, successful. It's a technique we in show biz, as well as those in marketing, like to call the 'hard sell'. Once your foot's in the door at all… you're in. No questions asked."

We paused, watching a few orange and red leaves fall from the trees that lines the streets. It really was a beautiful town.

"Except…" Medici prompted.

"Except," I continued, waving at the apple cider peddler as we walked by, "that the hard sell, while effective, really only works at getting _some_ people all of the time. Quite a large _some_, but still not every person in the world. That is the domain of the few with that very special talent known as…" I paused for dramatic event. "The _soft_ sell."

"Ooh! I know that!" Medici said excitedly, levitating above the ground to better catch a breeze, "that's the best kind of crabs, too!"

"You're dead to me," I said flatly, continuing. "But regardless, let's use Axel as an example, shall we?"

"We usually do."

"Yes, but this time it's actually quite relevant… and recent," I explained. "You saw how he talked to the hospital's nurse, yes? He didn't immediately put himself out there saying '_HI! I'M AXEL AND I'M AWESOME! YOU SHOULD BE INTERESTED IN WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!_' That would have, undoubtedly, led to all of us getting a much better night's rest.

Rather, he allowed himself to be introduced. Low-balled himself constantly, yet still brought up parts of his life that _just so happened_ to be quite impressive. All while remaining in the background, going with the flow, speaking softly… you see where I'm going with this, yes?"

"No, actually," Medici said, scratching his head. "Unless you _meant_ to make Axel sound like some kind of shadowy puppet master."

"No, no, not at all," I corrected quickly. "My _point_ was that by avoiding throwing himself out all at once, he prevented running into a wall he couldn't surreptitiously circumvent. It's a stealthy, sophisticated approach, more than a brute-force entry, I suppose." I paused. "Come to think of it, that _does_ make him sound quite criminal, doesn't it?"

"There's a good joke about stealing hearts in there _somewhere_."

"Which we are, of course, going to ignore, as we're far better than that."

"Naturally," Medici. "Alright then I think I get what you're saying… and I believe I have a plan." He frowned. "Not that it matters much, seeing as we'll be leaving shortly after today anyway, but… still. Good advice as per usual, Shelly."

"I only aim to please," I said with a short bow.

"And to get me to buy you lunch again," he accused, not even _bothering_ to try and read my mind.

"It's the hallmark of a good performer to never have to pay for lunch," I reminded him, casually flipping and landing on a nearby fire hydrant. "Now then, there's a nice buffet that's next to the pond near the hotel. It's _probably_ best we go there, seeing as we'll need to build up a reserve of energy before hitting the gym."

"Sounds good to me," he replied, cracking his knuckles. "And then how about afterwards we head to the gym and take out all the small fries before Axel even shows up?"

I smiled. "Sounds like a plan to me."

Author's Note:

Yes, this chapter was about a Squirtle giving a Meditite relationship advice. No, this does not make me strange.

No, really, it doesn't! There's a reason why so many Pokémon are capable of having human-like conversations. A _plot-related_ reason at that. Really. And honestly, how entertaining would the story be if all Squirtle said was: _I GOT SOME APPLE CIDER AND THEN I GOT MEDICI AND THEN WE WENT TO THE GYM AND WE DIDN'T TALK ON THE WAY BECAUSE I'M DUUUUUUUUMB._ Not. Entertaining. At all.

But yeah, so the next chapter's going to be a three-in-one! Because first person-perspective Pokémon battles are pretty fun to write, I have to admit. Also, I'd like you to take notice, Amber. I didn't kill anyone off today, regardless of how strong the urge was. Have we learned to trust the author now?

Amber: Not even close.

What the… why the… _why yooooou..._

Viva la feminism?


	14. Chapter 13: Vanna Fight

The Disclaimers Office of Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. is currently unavailable. In an official statement from the company, lead (and only) disclaimer writer, Skyler, had this to say:

"We don't know exactly which dimension the office has wound up in this time. Because AFFI now straddles multiple alternate universes and story worlds, it's often difficult to even predict what the building next door will look like from day to day. The only thing we really do know, without doubt, is that Amaxing…"

(Puts on sunglasses)

"_Doesn't own Pokémon."_

_YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!_

**Chapter 13: Gym Leader Vanna would like to battle!**

**Gallant**

As a Gallade, you get a good number of questions. Most of these are, in short, _why is your species only male if there are both male and female Gardevoir?_

A good question. A simpler mind would shrug and say 'because that's how we were made'. I, personally, subscribe to the theory that Gallade and Gardevoir were, at one time, two halves of the same species, but a population of Gardevoir became separated from any Gallade presence, and had modify their gender in order to survive… much like clownfish. This, to my mind, is the only logical reason for the awkward 'three-halves' population situation that we have today.

Nevertheless, as members of an all male species that can only reproduce by wooing a female from another species that _has_ males to choose from, Gallades, in general, study from the moment of evolution to be utmost, perfect gentlemen. Well, at least, I did. In order to win the affections of a member of a race as exquisite as the Gardevoirs, nothing less than perfection can be accepted.

Which is why I train so diligently under Miss Vanna, and gladly obey any command she gives. I have accepted her as the human being who can bring out my potential more than any other, and I utterly refuse to let her down. So when Vanna came from the kitchen, smiled at me, and told me we were heading to the gym, I couldn't help but smile back. If the trainer Axel did indeed show up today, this would be a very satisfying day indeed, seeing as I would finally put that insolent, unapologetic Meditite in its place.

I almost had at him the moment I saw him leaning against the side of the gym, waiting, but I restrained myself. Miss Vanna, ever observant, quickly asked where all the other trainers were, to which the cur so cheekily replied:

"We figured we'd take them out first. Didn't want to tire Axel down at all before the main attraction."

"Squirt!" The Squirtle squirted in affirmation. I saw red. Challenging trainers without direction? What was this?

But Miss Vanna laughed, so I suppose I'll let it slide this time. When the trainer did finally show up, the girl and her Pokémon in tow, Miss Vanna greeted them with all the pleasantries a proper host should. She explained the house rules: three one-v-one battles with different Pokémon each time. She also requested, to my delight, that she be allowed to use her strongest party members, rather than the preset level and type requirements the Pokémon League set down. Axel agreed immediately, to Vanna's delight, and she made sure that the Gym's referee hadn't been scared off. He hadn't been, and so, blowing his whistle, he declared the match should begin.

The cur's hand shot up into the air. "Ooh! Axel! Pick me! Pick me!" he yelled playfully. "You always said I'd get first shot when we finally started collecting badges, remember?"

"Yes…" Axel said hesitantly. "But I _also_ never expected that we'd be collecting them so early…"

"Ah, c'mon! _Pleeeeeeease?_"

To directly request that you do something against the wishes of your trainer? Preposterous! And what was even more preposterous was, almost at once, Axel caved, and sent Medici in as the first combatant.

I looked at Vanna, and she nodded. Enthusiastically, I jumped into the center ring, a slightly sunken circular pit filled with sand, and made an about face, bowing graciously at the beautiful Gardevoir, who turned bright red as usual."

"She… uh, she doesn't like it when you do that," the Meditite said, almost as if he were _advising_ me. "Believe me… I know. Well, kind of."

"_Excuse_ me, but Lady Gardevoir and I have been working together for _years_ now," I said indignantly.

"And… well…" he scratched the back of his head. "Look how far you've gotten, right?"

"Can we not do this now?" Axel asked. "I'd like to have this done before dinner."

"Fine by me," I grunted, lunging forward with Agility. The battle _had_, after all, technically begun.

The Meditite clearly wasn't expecting me, but dodged enough to avoid the full force of my Slash. It still flung him into the air, and I quickly released volley after volley of Psycho Cuts, each one connecting with a satisfying slicing sound. Still in a Rage, I leapt up, venting my Frustration into a final blow that smashed the Meditite into the wall of the pit.

"That'll teach you to stay away," I said triumphantly.

"Why is that again?" The Meditite said, flipping back onto its feet as if it had just woken up from a nap. "Also, dude… un-cool. You don't just attack someone in the middle of…"

He _still_ insists on pandering to me? I charged again, aiming directly for his chest with my elbow blades. But somehow, even though I was sure I'd Feinted correctly, he dodged under them. I felt a hand grab me by the back of the neck, and the next minute I was hurled with great strength into the opposite wall.

"Don't think I'll fall for the same thing twice," the cur spat. "I've been training with a swordsman for almost a year now. I know _all_ y'all tricks. Side note: for a species that's supposed to be courteous, you're being _incredibly_ rude right now. Just saying, you could let me finish a sentence or two. That'd be nice."

I saw red. I Leered at the Meditite, and began emitting psychic waves in hopes to confuse it. It countered with its own, the sheer force of which almost threw me off balance, but I remained focused. Charging my blades with as much psychic potential as I could, I began circling, Double Teaming until there appeared to be almost twenty of me circling around the sand. Axel, smarter than I thought, yelled at Medici to watch the lines in the sand, but the Pokémon either didn't hear him or didn't listen. I converged on him, and he swung out at ten of me at once… none of which were the correct one. I smashed into the Meditite directly from behind, letting my fury drive slice after slice as I tore into it. After I'd exhausted myself, I switched my arm around, delivering the ultimate insult of a _punch_, directly into its smarmy face. It fell to the ground, motionless, and I let out a victorious battle cry.

The referee, after surveying the situation, nodded. "The winner is…"

"_Hey! Don't call it yet!_" I flinched, but looked down with relief. The Meditite's mouth may have been moving, but it was still motionless otherwise.

"You… you're clearly unable to continue," the referee explained.

"I _believe_ Rest is a League recognized move, right? I'm still in this thing!"

"If you're sleeping, than how are you…"

"Sleep Talk is also a League recognized move, I believe."

The ref scratched his head for a minute, and shrugged. "I… I guess he does have a point, actually. My mistake."

Fine. I'll continue. There's nothing in the rules that say I can't pummel you while you sleep… in fact, I believe it's encouraged. With another cry I leapt into the air, charging my blades as I dove down to crush the Meditite.

Its eyes flew open, glowed blue for the briefest of seconds. I continued my attack, but it rolled out of the way, leaving my elbows stuck in the sand.

"You've made way too many mistakes to win this fight now," he said bitterly. I was about to ask what mistakes he meant, but I felt a foot dig itself into my stomach, and I lost all ability to talk.

"_ONE!"_ he yelled, blasting me with psychic energy until I ricocheted from a wall. "You attacked me while I was talking. _TWO!" _The foot dug itself into my stomach again and I found myself hurtling through the air. "You attacked me while I was _sleeping_, and _THREE! _and most importantly…" Several more kicks, a fist or two, charged with electrical power. "You did _nothing_ but try and get in the way of me talking to that cute Gardevoir last night!" He said this in Pokémon speak, but I think everyone still understood what he meant.

I felt another hit, more powerful than the others, and I found myself almost forty feet off the ground, nearly touching the Gym's ceiling. Before I knew it, the Meditite was there, almost suspended in mid air above me. It winked, said 'sorry', and brought it's foot crashing down on me one last time.

The only thing I remember thinking before I passed out after hitting the ground was how much of a bother fixing the crater I made would be fore the maintenance staff. Pity really.

**Inigo**

"Gallade is unable to battle. The victory goes to Meditite!"

As Medici hauled himself out of the pit, bruised but victorious, I could not help but smile. I was glad that he had won, yes, but I would be lying if I said that I did not enjoy seeing him tossed around a bit before doing so. Perhaps he will take training more serious from here on out. But probably not.

Being the victor, Axel chose which Pokémon to send out next first, and, with a nod, he sent me in. I was a bit disappointed at not being sent in to face the Gallade (whose skill with a blade, as surely you noticed, was quite prodigious), but I nonetheless complied. I am not exactly in a position to question any decisions Axel makes.

Vanna, after a moment's though, smiled slightly and, with a wave, sent out… Gardevoir. The Pokémon walked slowly to the edge, pausing a little to figure out the best way down, before slowly lowering herself into the pit. She let go a little too soon, and she fell about a foot… unhurt, but cute… I mean embarrassed.

As the referee blew the whistle to signal the start of round two, I could not help but think… should I even fight this girl? Axel, unflinching, instructed me to charge, so, with only a little hesitation, I did, blades positioned to deliver a cross cut upon impact.

Using a Light Screen as a diversion, the Gardevoir dodged gracefully out of the way and ran towards the other side of the ring, dress trailing behind it like a fluttering sheet on a breezy summer's day… wait, what? Why I am thinking this? Just because the image of me training out in the fields, while Gardevoir brings me a cool glass of Lemonade and touches my arm gently, knowingly, is the closest thing to paradise I have ever envisioned, does not mean that… does not mean that… oh… so lovely…

"_HEY!" _I heard Medici scream in my mind, shattering the illusion. "_Are you just going to stand there or are you going to go get her?_"

Go get her? What a wonderful idea! Yes, that is just what I will do, I…

"_NOT LIKE THAT!" _I heard Medici scream again. "_You're in the middle of a gym battle, remember? A GYM BATTLE! If you lose, we might ALL lose, and then we won't get the badge! You wouldn't want to let Axel down, would you?_"

That snapped me back to reality. I heard Axel yell not to let her get into my head, and I cursed myself for falling prey so easily. That being said, it is not like she took advantage of me in my state. In fact, from the looks of it, all she has done this battle is put up various Barriers and Reflect shields. I still feel that, somewhere in my code, there is a rule against this.

Nevertheless, a battle is battle. And no matter how gorgeous the opponent might be, you have to take her out, right? You have to make her see who is the strongest, yes? Yes! That is what I will do. But… if that were to scare her away…

AARGH! What is this? I cannot allow myself to be held back anymore, Axel needs me! I performed a quick Swords Dance, partially to increase my striking potency and partially to impress her, and charged once more. This time, for sure, I will strike!

She gasped, moving to the side as her Barrier took almost the full brunt of my assault. She backed up against the side of the ring, quivering slightly, still trying to keep a brave face regardless of how… why is she terrified of me? What am I _doing?_

_NO!_ This is a battle. This is a battle. _This is a battle._ Repeating the mantra over and over, I lined up with my foe one last time, knowing for sure that I would not miss. With a cry, I charged, bracing myself for impact.

She tried to move back, but tripped. Staring at me with wide, beautiful eyes, she flinched back, raising her arms in a last effort at defense, leaving nothing but a stationary target to cut through, a helpless… a poor, helpless…

_I… I cannot do this!_

I stopped, blades hovering inches away from her outstretched arms. I stood there, breathing heavily, trying to think straight and trying to decide what was right until I could not think anymore. I collapsed into the sand, shaking, but smiling at the same time. As long as she had not been hurt, that was what mattered, right? Right. Nothing else actually mattered, nothing was more important…

How could I possibly touch her? I am too afraid that she would break.

"Treecko is unwilling to battle. The winner is Gardevoir!"

I did not care. It was funny, but somehow… everything seemed at peace. As long as she was here, nothing else mattered. I could rest easy…

Then she gave a slight curtsy, returned to her trainer, and almost instantly my romantic delusions broke. I vaulted from the ground instantly, surveying my surroundings as if they were completely foreign. Gardevoir, who I found as unattractive as I had before the battle had begun, was climbing out of the rink with help from Vanna. A few people from Woodale who had gathered to see the battle were cheering, congratulating Gardevoir on another job well done. Ashamed, frightened of what I would see, I looked towards Axel, but saw that while he was, indeed, face palming, he was smiling all the same.

"Don't think too much on it, Inigo," he said reassuringly. "It's just a kind of attack your training doesn't cover." I sighed, relieved. At least I had the sage advice of my trainer to help me overcome my weaknesses.

Medici was, as you can imagine, quite a bit _less _sage.

"Learn to steel your mind you must, young Padawan," he croaked.

Shut up.

**Shelligan**

Why hello there! Fancy having to narrate _yet again._

I don't know about you, but I've certainly enjoyed the show so far. I'm quite a big fan of how the events of last night which, of course, we know nothing about, made themselves known ever-so-slightly in the confrontation between Gallant and Medici. Though the striking moment when a warrior realizes his physical training has still left him weak in areas of the heart was also quite fun to watch, if not a bit clichéd.

And so it comes down to the wire! Winner take all! And to think that, in such a situation, neither of the teams 'powerhouses' are eligible for competition. _Oh no! What do we do?_

I kid, of course. The only reason Qwill and I aren't considered 'powerhouses' is because our combat styles are more strategy oriented. And since Axel lost the last match, Vanna chooses her Pokémon first, meaning we'll go out entirely dependant on what she chooses.

With a flourish, Vanna sent out… Xatu! The very same powerful, full bodied specimen that only yesterday was out and about saving a man's life! It's a flying type Pokémon, so undoubtedly that means I'll be sent out to deal with it. And… yes. Axel's just given me the go-ahead. Sorry, Qwill, perhaps next time!

I somersaulted into the ring, egged on by the crowd that, by this time, had grown to fill almost the entire Gym. I flipped, threw sand in the air in a flourish, ricocheted off the sides of the ring: anything to work the crowd into a roar. I work best in front of an enthusiastic audience.

The Xatu flew in, standing motionless, waiting for the referee to blow his whistle. I bowed to my opponent grandiosely, introducing myself. "Greetings! I am the Magnificent Shelligan! If it does not bother you, while we battle, I would like to tell you a story!"

"You can do whatever you want," the Xatu replied, voice already laced with hints of the Attract she was no doubt about to use. I gulped. Mind games, regardless of how much practice one has with them, are always draining.

The referee blew his whistle, and we both immediately took off, the Xatu to flying and me to my spinning. As I dodge out of the way of a Psychic blast, I began to relate my tale.

"The tale I would like to tell you is one of tragedy turned to strength! Of disability, turned to skill! You see, when I was still quite young, a mere one year old, my trainer was killed… by Death himself."

"That's _so sad_," winking at me with a Miracle Eye _and_ using Attract at the same time. "Please, tell me _more._"

I gulped again, feeling a little heated, but my storyteller's prerogative allowed me to continue. "After being found by my current trainer Axel, a situation arose where he called upon my skills to help put out a fire!" I paused for dramatic event, and was rudely struck by the bird's talons. The touch, also laced with a heavy dosage of Attract, sent shivers down my spine. "But alas…" I said, spiraling out of the way once again, "he was to be disappointed because I, the Magnificent Shelligan…" I struck an agonizing pose, evoking laughs from the audience who couldn't understand me. "_was born Squirtless!" _I paused, waiting for sobs that I knew wouldn't come. "Yes, no matter how hard I tried the only thing I could ever do was blow cold air. The fire was put out, yes… but not by anything I did."

"That's _awful_, really," the Xatu cooed, pecking at me with its beak and grazing my shell several times, "but shouldn't you be focusing on fighting right now?"

"A _good_ storyteller never leaves his audience hanging," I replied. "After finding this out, Axel shut himself away for several days, and for those long hours, I thought that maybe he didn't want me anymore. Perhaps he was calling up Pokémon pounds, seeing who would take the best, or sometimes I feared worst, care of me. Maybe he was looking for a good place to… dare I say… release me into the wild!" Her I paused, but only to escape the broadside of a Feint Attack that almost tricked me.

"My waiting was to be rewarded, however, for after several days he emerged, with the largest smile I'd ever seen on any human being up to that point. He said: "I have come up with a super-powerful technique that only you, of all Squirtles that have ever existed, will be able to use. Interested?"

_OF COURSE I WAS!"_

I shouted this last bit not because I meant to emphasize it, but because the agile bird had finally caught me with one claw. With a deep breath, it loose an enormous wave of Dark energy, causing me to plummet into the sand below, and almost shattering my consciousness.

"So then…" the Xatu taunted, not even bothering to add Attract to her voice anymore. "What was this _super-powerful technique_ of yours then?"

I struggled to my feet, tossing sand out of my way to get my breaings.. "My trainer, Axel…" I gasped out, "explained it better than I ever could:"

"When you attempt to breath water and fail," Axel began, "you produce air that's cooler than the air around you. I'm not sure why, it must be something to with how your water-producing glands work, but it happens!

Also, when you spin in your shell, you heat up the air inside, and it escapes to the outside naturally! On cold days I can sometimes see a heat-trail when you practice your act, it looks _so cool!_

But anyway, if you were to alternate between breathing cool air and releasing warm air, the warm air would rise and the cool air would condense it, creating a cloud… and not just a magical Drizzle effect, a real life cloud! Combine that with some particulate matter that I'm _sure_ a showman like you can get into the air without raising suspicion, and what do you get?

"_Lightning," _I whispered, and with a grandiose gesture, I pointed to the heavens. The Xatu looked first, then Vanna, then the rest of the people in the gym. They gasped almost in unison, wondering how a cloud had formed while they were obliviously watching a grandstanding Squirtle. I laughed, ricocheting off the side of the rink and darting into the cloud. I recalled Axel's instructions:

"All that's left is to let the stored electric potential loose on command. But you're smart. I'm sure you'll figure something out!" he smiled.

"It's curtains for you!" I yelled, spinning rapidly, collecting charge as I did so. The Xatu tried flying away, but it was already in my sights. Time for the big, anime-style ultimate-finishing move battle cry!

"_GRAND FINALE! SHELLIGAN-STYYYYYLE __**THUUUUNDEEEER!**__"_

And I dove from the cloud, striking the Xatu square in the chest, bringing thousands of volts of electricity along with me. There was a collective cry of astonishment as the bird was left floating in midair, body coursing with electricity. Finally, after the bolt had expended itself, the Xatu collapsed and fell to the ground, landing in a heap.

Nimbly, I landed unharmed directly next to its head, in time to here her mutter: "you… pompous… jerk…" before passing out. Silence. Then, almost on cue, uproarious applause. I smiled widely, bowing to my loving crowd. It was almost impossible to hear when the referee shouted: "Xatu is unable to battle! The victory goes to Squirtle!"

I could hear Axel roaring in victory, could just make out Amber cheering from behind. Vanna, smiling, said something along the lines of: "as I expected." I don't remember when the badge actually changed hands, but the image of Axel triumphantly holding it over his head, basking in glory for the briefest of moments, will forever be burned in my memory. This, I remember thinking, was the beginning of our story.

Author's Note:

Was it awesome? Was it? Was it? Was it?

You'll notice I've decided to completely ignore the 'four moves per Pokémon' rule and describe the battles more similar to Anime style. You'll also notice that these Pokémon don't seem to really care if they ever actually learn the moves they're using or not.

Part of this is plot-related. Part is me being lazy. That being said, I like to think I don't take _too_ many liberties when it comes to battles. That being said let me know what you thought! I'm trying sort of halfway decently hard to incorporate the battle element into the overall story pretty naturally… and realize that'll take practice.

Other than that…

Viva la feminism?


	15. Chapter 14: Crushing Silence

Disclaimer:

_Amazing But True:_ Did you know that, in 2005, a gene that might be the main 'master switch' that causes cancer was discovered? What's more… they named it 'pokemon', standing for POK Erythroid Myeloid ONtogenic factor. Cool, huh?

Nintendo of America, however, not wanting the bad press associated with a franchise sharing the same name as a cancer-causing cell, understandably threatened the lab with lawsuit, and the team changed the name to the more boring Zbtb7 gene that we know today.

And since we _just so happen_ to be on the topic of lawsuits: I don't own Pokémon; neither the franchise _nor_ the cancer-proliferating gene, so there's no need to sue me! Also a fun fact!

All right, fine. I'll think up a name for the next chapter.

**Chapter 14: Crushing Silence**

**Medici**

There was no way, no way _whatsoever_ that we could just leave immediately after winning the badge. Having strutted our stuff to its most-impressive potential, the people of Woodale stopped seeing us as random passers by and more as the unique bunch of oddball Pokémon we really were. My first solo concert after leaving the Metalgross? A resounding success, thanks for asking. Even made enough profit to buy Shelly a big old tub of apple cider… sort of a 'thank-you' for both winning us our first badge _and_ for giving me advice.

Of course there were a few downsides to his advice… one that he was _right_ and two, _because_ he was right… there was really nothing I could do. I instantly resolved to forget it and move on… but to no avail.

That kind of sucked. It hadn't really ever happened before, and I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. The Charm from that Gardevoir was just so positively… _natural._ Even when she completely owned Inigo… only a small bit of it was acting. For the most part, she really just added the Attract move to what she was _actually doing. _It's the sort of epic-level kawaii (cute, for all you non-anime watchers) that you only ever see on TV or in books… something so adorable isn't _actually supposed to exist._ Then again, Pokémon aren't supposed to be able to hurt people either.

… Yeah. Even I thought that comparison was pretty dark. What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah! Trying to drown my… not exactly _sorrows_, but… discomfort? Trying to drown my discomfort about the situation. It was lucky that I'd stumbled across actual emotions in Woodale, as there were quite a few ways of trying to get rid of them. I sparred at a local boxing ring (holding back, naturally), looked through a few War museums with Shelly, learned how to hand craft Pokéballs from Akorns… it was fun. Though admittedly, I sort of zoned out once the instructor started talking about crafting the extra-dimensional space that allowed the Pokémon to live despite being in such a tiny ball. _BOOORING._

When this failed me as well, I did what any self-respected guy dealing with heartache would do… called up an old girlfriend. Of course, being a Meditite… the only thing I really had that resembled this was Vanna.

"I have to admit, this _is_ the first time a Pokémon's bought me dinner," she remarked, absentmindedly paging through the menu at Luvdisc Corner. "And the horrible part is, out of force of habit, I feel like flirting with you."

"That's not force of habit, love, I'm just _gorgeous_," I laughed, quickly tabulating how many orders of steak I could order with my concert-earnings. "And you know something? If we weren't completely different species, I'd be _all_ for the flirting. I get the feeling my style would actually _work_ with you."

"I _am_ a sucker for musicians," she admitted. "And I should have known that this was actually about Gardevoir."

"Actually trying to _avoid_ talking about that, thank you," I interrupted quickly, placing my drink order with our waiter. "So let's move on, shall we? How's Bertrand doing? I assume you went to see him again today."

"He's… fine…" Vanna said, frowning. "I mean, the doctor says he'll pull through but… well, he'll be even _more_ bed-ridden than he was before." She looked down. "And to make things worse, he just refuses to see me. He can barely recognize which hand is his right or his left anymore, yet… he still knows that he doesn't want anything to do with me." You gotta understand, I never would have talked about this if I'd known she'd start tearing up.

"But yeah, that Gardevoir… I just don't understand her," I said, _loudly_ changing the topic of conversation. "I mean it's not just that she _avoids_ me. I've never heard her _speak, _physically or psychically. Do you know what's up with that?"

Vanna smiled, appreciating the effort. "It's just how she is. She doesn't hate you or anything like that, she's just… delicate." She managed a chuckle. "I hate to say it, but poor Inigo never stood a chance."

"And _boy_ does he complain about it," I groaned. "No matter how many all-you-can-eat buffets or maple syrup festivals I drag him to, the _only_ thing he talks about is how easily she got in his head. I keep trying to catch him by saying that, in a way, she's _still_ in his head and he hasn't progressed at all, but…" I raised my hands in the air with a shrug. "Nadda. I'm considering Hypnosis therapy, I really am."

"If you're looking for work, I think Gardevoir could use some of that too…" Vanna mused, looking out the window. "She can't help but feel guilty every time someone falls for her, even during battle. No matter how much I try and get her to _relish_ the idea of having men tripping over themselves around her…oh!" she blushed. "That sounds horrible."

"Nah," I waved off. "Its your right to wield your femininity as a weapon to the point of causing blunt-force trauma. And besides, if you _weren't_ as much of a flirt as you were, you couldn't properly balance Gardevoir's shyness." I smiled, holding up a finger to add to the illusion that I knew what I was talking about. "And if my chats with Professor Redwood have taught me anything, it's that Pokémon and trainers work best together when they're near opposites. I mean, look at me and Axel. Or Amber and Toto."

"From what I've seen from the two of them, Amber and Toto seem pretty similar actually…"'

"Yeah… and they don't work together well _at all._ Amber's ideal partner is, as should be obvious, Qwill, who balances out her cynicism and occasional spats of violence with oodles upon noodles of hyperactive joyousness."

"Yeah! You're right!" She said excitedly, almost knocking into Frankie, our poor, poor waiter. "The idea is brilliant, really. You've got to wonder why Professor Redwood isn't _the_ lead researcher in the field of Pokémon right now."

"It's because he's _clearly_ crazy," I replied. "Pokémon with as much emotional complexity as human beings? _Preposterous!_" I laughed, looking eagerly upon the mountain of steak that the waiter had brought me. "Let me tell you, for a species that can't even read each other's minds, you're pretty damn conceited."

"Are we?" She chuckled. "I was under the impression you were special, Medici. Are you saying _all_ Meditites are like you?"

"Touché, love," I said, raising a glass of cider. "A toast. To our last day together." She frowned, but clinked glasses with me nonetheless.

"So… you guys are leaving then, huh?"

"Well we _do_ still have seven badges to go, Vanna," I explained. "If we spent a full two weeks in every city we went to, we'd never make it in time for the League Championships."

"Isn't that a good thing? Seeing as…" she paused, and I looked at her, confused. "No, I suppose you're right. If you stay _too_ long, it'll look like you're not trying…"

"Um… right, sure," I agreed, not quite understanding what had come over her. "Yeah, I agree completely."

Her frown didn't retreat into a smile, and I considered saying something incredibly flirtatious that would probably lift her spirits again. I didn't, though, because at the moment, an elegant green hand passed through my field of vision, laying a note on the table.

"Oh? What is it Gardevoir?" Vanna said, taking the note and reading it quickly. "_What? But I already told them…_" she sighed, collecting her things. "I'm sorry Medici, I have to go. I really _did_ need something like this after everything that's happened, though, so… thank you."

I smiled, watching her go. Gardevoir turned to leave as well, but a thought struck me, and I quickly cried out: "Hey! Gardevoir! Hold up a minute, all right?"

She turned beet red and stood still, almost as if I'd forcibly stopped her. Vanna, still not completely gone, reprimanded me. "Medici, don't… you said you wouldn't…"

"I'm not going to, this is something different," I reassured her. Her eyes and mine locked for a minute, and she nodded, trusting me, before heading out.

"So…" I began, floating to a place where I could look at Gardevoir head on. "First off, I want to say, right away, that I understand that what happens in Gym battles is… just Gym battles. And you don't have to feel bad about anything that may have happened as a result of them, ok?"

Silence. I think I saw her nod weakly, but other than that… nothing. I sighed, continuing. "That being said… my teammate, Inigo… he's taking it pretty hard. Not because he's still smitten with you or anything," I quickly assured her, seeing her turn even redder, "but because… he honestly thinks there's something wrong with him because you were able to get in his head. Could you… I don't know... talk to him?"

She shook her head quickly, trying to push past me in a rare show of force. I held her back though… I wasn't quite done.

"If you don't mind me asking… why not?" I tried not to sound too accusatory. "I mean, if you just don't care enough to apologize, that's one thing, but…"

This caused her to shake her head even more, and I saw a hand dart beneath her… um, dress? I guess?... returning with a pen and a pad of paper. She leaned on a nearby table, hastily scribbling, and handed me a note.

_I do care. I just shouldn't speak._

… Huh. Now that's something you don't see every day. "And, you shouldn't speak because...?"

_It hurts._

"Oh… _oh!_" I laughed. "The reason you haven't been speaking… it's just been a sore throat this whole time?"

She started scribbling something else, crossing things out and rewording phrases. Eventually, after a few sheets of paper, she handed me another note.

_More complicated._

"I… see…" I, of course, didn't actually see, since she wasn't making any sense. "Um… do you mind just telling me psychically? I have to admit, I'm pretty confused right now."

_I'm sorry. That would hurt too._

"No need to apologize…" I said, suddenly feeling in the wrong for forcing this conversation in the first place. "But… hm…" I paused, thinking. "I mean, if talking's not an option… do you think you could write him a note?"

_I doubt that would help._

"No yeah, you're probably right…" I said, scratching the back of my head. There had to be something I could do, though. Something to show Inigo that _anyone_, no matter how strong, can be taken down by a move so seemingly benign…

Inspiration, thy name is Medici! I surprise myself by how awesome I am sometimes.

"Personal question, and I know it's going to sound weird at first, but how many status-effecting moves do you know?"

**Inigo**

Emotions have no place in battle. Emotions have no place in battle. _Emotions have no place in battle._

And yet, I was stricken useless. Forced into submission by nothing but a pair of wide eyes and a few sways of the hips. What is _wrong_ with me? Have I spent so much time focusing on my physical prowess that I have forgotten to, as Medici so bluntly put it, steel my mind?

I cannot help but feel that this, combined with the event at Cliffkiln, only further reveals the gap in strength between the lazy Meditite and myself. Axel expects me to be able to hold him back, should he ever be provoked into becoming what he was again, but no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try…

I must clear this doubt from my mind, somehow. But how can I, if my mind if so weak? I cannot even block the thoughts out with the steady counting of my jogging pace anymore. Might as well stop here… I am feeling a little tired anyway.

I sat down on a large rock, overlooking a field near the outskirts of Woodale. In the distance, the borders of Oakridge forest, which we had to travel through in order to get to Severna, shone a uniformly bright orange. I attempted to sharpen my focus by picking out the individual leaves' rustling but… to no avail. My mind cannot rest.

That, and a loud noise from my right quickly broke my concentration. I looked quickly, expecting the worst, but was relieved to see that it was… oh. It was Medici, making a fool of himself again, following Vanna's Gardevoir and uttering overly poetic and exaggerated proclamations of affection.

"Isn't that sad?" said Shelligan, hopping on the rock next to me with Qwill in tow. "I even told him, straight up, that that approach wasn't going to work and… wow." He sighed, rubbing his blue forehead. "At least I tried. It's all a performer can do, after all." He tapped me on the back lightly. "How about you? Feeling any better?"

I did not answer… which, in a way, was my answer. The kind Squirtle tapped me on the back again, and Qwill uttered something incomprehensible that was supposed to be encouraging.

"_Come on, baby! I know you secretly want some of this!"_ Medici yelled pleadingly, coming dangerously close to grabbing the Gardevoir. "_What do I have to do, huh? Just say the word and I'll…"_

He stopped mid-sentence, suddenly overcome by some invisible force. He moved his mouth, but no words came out, attempted to move forward, but instead fell down, his limbs completely frozen. His psychic presence, often strong enough to feel (to those who are trained to be more sensitive, anyway), ebbed down to the weakest I had ever seen it.

"What the…" Shelligan spat out, clearly shocked. "What the hell just happened?"

"_Ooh! Ooh! I know I know I know I know I know I know I know…"_

"Qwill?" I asked patiently. "Would you be willing to tell us what is going on?"

"Yup yup yup!" He bounced up and down, clearly eager to share his knowledge. "The move _Imprison_ is a non-damaging psychic type move that prevents an opponent from using any move also known by the user and during battles its often just used to prevent Pokémon from using offensive or defensive moves _but!_ It is actually derived from a technique used by ancient wild Pokémon that could use the move to disable any faculty that was shared between the user and the target _meaning_ that since Gardevoir's powerful enough to use it to its full extent which _of course_ she is because she's got an aura on par or even surpassing _Medici_, she can use it to disable absolutely everything that she and him have in common! So because she walk, now Medici can't walk and because she can talk even though she doesn't do it very often or like ever that means that Medici can't talk and if she wanted to be really really mean which doesn't seem like her at all because she seems like a really nice person and I sort of want to be her friend even though she's boring because she doesn't talk but _anyway_ if she wanted to mean she could actually make it so that Medici can't breathe because she can breathe! But she just settled with making Medici unable to use psychic powers because she can totally do that to and that's got to feel suffocating enough to Medici, don't you think, since it's the thing about him that he loves the most and uses all the time and likes to brag about? I think so, but I think a lot of things, and…"

Having learned what I needed to thanks to Qwill's encyclopedic knowledge of everything battle-related, I tuned the rambling Cyndaquil out, instead choosing to listen to the individual rattling of the leaves in Oakridge. Call me terrible, but seeing that Medici is just as susceptible to mental attack is, for some reason, soothing. My focus is restored.

**Medici Again**

Yes, I planned that. But still… ow….

Author's Note:

Don't worry; the party will be travelling on soon enough. But you can't expect to go from winning the gym battle to walking along in the forest in one fell swoop, can you?

All right, maybe you can. But I'm more of a fan of easing in and out of arcs, tying up a few loose ends and such. It can't _all_ be Pokémon battles and grim depictions of a Death-rattle world, or else those things lose their impact, you know? As the immortal Yahtzee once said: 'You quickly get tired of ice cream cake if it's the only thing you eat; that's why Half-Life starts off with a half-hour of scientists complaining about the coffee before any aliens show up."

If my _quickly-muttered-run-on-sentence-ese_ is still up to snuff (which it should be, seeing as I have to deal with Qwill on a daily basis), I believe that's considerably close to the actual quote. I suppose I _could_ find an actual transcript to make sure it's 100% correct but, you know. _Lazy._

Viva la feminism?


	16. Chapter 15: A 'Prophet'

Disclaimer: Owning Pokémon: there… isn't an app for that.

**Chapter 15: A 'Prophet'**

**Xatu**

You don't have to have _Future Sight_ to be able to predict what happened next. I _knew_ it was gonna happen, and no matter how many times Gallant tried telling me otherwise, saying there was no _possible_ way it could _ever_ happen, it happened. Just like I said it would. You can say that my hindsight's twenty-twenty, but I'll retort that my Future Sight is twenty-_ten_, thanks you very much.

Even _before_ Vanna called us all together, I knew. I didn't have to read her mind to know what she was going to say. Yeah sure, it _helped_, but I could just tell from the way she was acting exactly what was on her mind, _regardless_ of how much I knew.

"Everyone… hey, hi…" she said softly, gathering us all in the living room. "Most of you probably already know this from… well, you're all Psychic, after all," she smiled. "But just in case you haven't been reading my mind lately, um…" she paused. She really _didn't_ have to continue, since I'd already _told_ everyone exactly what was gonna happen, but she did anyway.

"Because of what happened with Bertrand… they've asked that I step down from being Gym Leader… for a little while, anyways. Just to… save face, I guess." She frowned. "I don't really understand it much either, but… it is what it is. I've already handed over the League-Specific Pokémon over to Frankie… you know Frankie, and I'm sure he'll do a great job filling in." She smiled. "Which makes it just the four of us again, doesn't it? Like old times."

Gallant, being who he is, acted shocked; sputtering at the unfairness and inhumanity of the whole ordeal even though I _warned_ him it was going to happen. Gardevoir, silent as usual, pulled out a pen and paper, simply writing down:

_What now?_

"Well…" Vanna began, "that's what I was going to ask you guys, actually. Since we'll have quite a bit of time free from now on, I say we should treat it as a vacation, you know? Maybe head down to the beach now that it's recovered from… well, what happened. Though I suppose it's a little late in the season for that, isn't it?"

"I will happily go to any corner of the earth you wish to traverse," Gallant responded, bowing down to one knee as he _usually_ did. I sent off a message to Gardevoir, who wrote for me:

_Xatu would like to visit the bird sanctuary in Jinford._ I could have had Gallant tell Vanna for me, but have it written out in perfect cursive script just emphasizes the point _more_, you know? It was a pretty big request, considering how crazy Death was being this year, so I wanted to let her know I was _serious._

And she knew. I could tell from the way she flinched. She responded, hesitantly, "That might not… I mean, it's not the safest thing to do these days, traveling I mean." She looked me in the eye. "I know you've always wanted to go see where you were born, Xatu, but… I just don't want to go when there's no guarantee we'll come back."

"I will gladly provide protection to all of us!" Gallant instantly replied. "It is the nature of my species, nay, the _duty_ of my species, to triumph over any aggressor that attempts to harm others in any way! And I assure you all that not a single man, woman, or Pokémon will get the best of me."

With him saying stuff like that, I _knew_ that someone would come knocking on the door to prove him wrong. So when I heard the knock, I wasn't _nearly_ as surprised as the others… it was just a reaction, is all.

Gallant crosses the room, and opened the door to reveal… Medici. A Pokémon who, if anything, has incredible timing (an insight I gleaned from his concert a few nights ago).

"Hey, um… sorry. I didn't want to interrupt anything," he apologized. "But um… I was just checking through my guitar case before leaving and I think I may have accidentally left a packet of extra strings here? Would it be ok if I…"  
"Oh! _That's _what those are," Vanna said, brightening up quickly, picking up a small plastic bag from the center coffee table. "I was wondering what they were, and for some reason I didn't think that they'd…" she paused, smiling. "Well, who cares? Here you go."

"Thanks!" Medici said, snatching the strings from Vanna unceremoniously. "Phew! Good on you, love. I couldn't head right into the harmless maw that is Oakridge without a set of back-up strings just in case, now could I?" He waved at us all. "Bye! Hope to see you again some time, really!"

Gallant closed the door on him almost as soon as he was out. No one suggested it, but we all _knew_ exactly what idea had just come into existence. Or, well, _I_ knew at least, but I knew that it was gonna happen from the _beginning_.

_It would be safer than going alone_. Gardevoir wrote, shockingly being the first to speak up.

"Are you… are you saying that you don't think I'm capable of protecting you?" Gallant asked, offended, prompting Gardevoir to shake her head vigorously. Vanna quickly came to her rescue.

"Don't be like that Gallant, it's nothing about _you_. But it's true what they say… safety in numbers, right?"

Gallant was silent for a minute, and then bowed down, like I _knew_ he would. "Shall I help you pack then, Miss Vanna?"

"Most certainly, sir Gallant," she chuckled, curtsying.

I _knew_ we wouldn't have to run to catch up, but I'll admit even _I_ was surprised when we saw Axel, Amber, and crew just kind of… standing around near the edge of Oakridge forest. Medici was even leaning against a tree, eyes closed, as if he'd been there for a while.

Vanna stood silent for a minute before asking, _timidly_ believe it or not: "Were… were you guys _waiting _for me?"

"No," Amber said quickly.

"Why would you think that?" Axel lied unconvincingly.

"As if _humans_ could be predictable enough for us to be doing that," Medici commented.

Vanna tried to keep the smile from creeping across her face. I _knew_ she couldn't, though.

**Bertrand**

Dark.

Still dark.

The bright things above my head went out a while ago.

Yeah. Dark.

A woman in pink comes in to stick something in my arm. A few lights from the boxes next to me flip on and off. A line goes up and down, making mountains.

Woman leaves. Dark again.

Quiet now. Lots of lights off. Lights outside are dim, nurses walk by sometimes.

Someone else comes in. Seen him before. Wearing my mask.

My… mask?

"You…" I whispered, head throbbing as I remembered things that had happened. "Of all people… why are you here?"

_I think you already know the answer to that_ came its voice.

I started to breath heavier. My heart began to pound, and my vision went blurry. Was this really… Death? "I suppose…" I wheezed out. "You're going to tell me it's… nothing personal?"

_Nothing like that, Bertie, it's quite personal._ It said, laying an ice-cold hand on my chest. _You could have undone everything I've worked for. All my dreams and desires for naught, because of a silly little man's obsession._ Her blue eyes gleamed out from under his mask. _And we can't have that_ it said, almost in a hiss.

I became conscious of a Pokéball, tapping lightly against the side of my bed. I looked into Death's face, pleadingly, trying to say anything that would delay his judgment.

"I… I never wanted to ruin your dreams," I explained desperately. "And… and I've got dreams too, you know? How am I supposed to achieve them if…"

_Shhh…_ he said, cruelly putting a finger to my lips. _I'm afraid it can't be helped. Or didn't you know?  
_

_ The Path to Truth and Justice is not as Clear as it Seems,_

_ But strewn with Shattered Illusions and Countless Broken Dreams_

I thought I saw him smile beneath her mask. Either way, I started screaming before the Pokéball opened, before the enormous Slugma with red, boiling skin and bright, gleaming blue eyes was on my chest, slowly searing away at me. I was on enough medication that I couldn't feel it… not that it mattered.

Vanna… I'm sorry…

Author's Note:

_What? The chapter's over already?_

Well… yeah. Think of it this way, the last couple were longer than usual, so this one balances things out. I like my chapter lengths to form a nice bell curve, thank you very much.

You may be wondering why Bertrand is able to say anything, seeing as… he's kind of dead. And well… I'm the author, and therefore God? Goo enough excuse for me.

Ooh! Bonus! Just so you don't get confused at anytime, here's a handy list of everyone travelling in the party so far! Aren't I the greatest? (The answer is yes.)

Trainer: Axel

Pokémon:

Shelligan (Squirtle)

Qwill (Cyndaquil)

Inigo (Treecko)

Medici (Meditite)

Trainer: Amber

Pokémon:

- Totodile (not _actually_ named Toto)

Trainer: Vanna

Pokémon:

Xatu

Gallant (Gallade)

Gardevoir

Toto: Doing something so I won't have to explain things to readers later? _Gee, how thoughtful_ of you to give me less dialogue.

Amaxing: You picked up that it was intentional, huh?

Viva la feminism?


	17. Chapter 16: A Detective

Disclaimer: You can't spell 'Pokémon' without 'nope', as in, 'nope, I don't own it. Pokémon I mean. Which is what this story is about.'

You can, however, spell Pokémon without a good portion of the rest of that statement. Also a fun fact!

**Chapter 16: A Detective**

Sunset, Oakridge forest. Hues of red and gold like a Harry Potter fanatic's scarf. I sit alone, parked in my standard issue Chevy Rapidash and wait as the colors fade to black, blanketing the forest with a layer of dark, sacred night straight out of a Louis Armstrong bit… except there's nothing sacred about it. Nothing about these anonymous tips ever is.

The name's Detective Magnum Jenkins, POkémon LEague Security Team Adjunct, Pokémon Homicide (POLESTAPH). Fifteen years of regular homicide and you think you'd be prepared for anything, but throwing Pokémon into the mix is a whole other deal.

It's not that the deaths are any more gruesome… as if a Pokémon could possibly come close to being as warped as a human being… but the hysteria you have to deal with is reminiscent of Swine Flu… almost makes me wish we had it back. Nine out of ten times, these anonymous tips end up as nothing, an oddly acting Sentret just turns out to have Pokérus, a trainer with blue eyes gets caught in the wrong light and suddenly everyone wants to burn him at the stake… that sort of thing.

It's worth following up each one, though, because every now and again you come face to face with Death himself. It's those few moments, where I have even the slimmest chance of clapping the sick bastard in cuffs and ridding the world of him once and for all, that keep me out on the Routes, following up every last lead I can find. He has to slip up eventually. He's only a man.

That's the important thing to remind yourself of, and it's what I tell the rookies whenever they're spooked silly by the briefest flash of blue in a Pokémon's eyes. No matter what he does, or how omnipresent the bastard seems, _he's only a man. _Strip off his mask and his fancy cloak and there's just a twisted, quivering sack of meat that wasn't loved enough as a child and knows how to use a voice changer. The only problem, of course, is that this particular quivering sack of meat also must be one of the greatest Pokémon trainers alive… that, as much as I hate to admit it, is a justified cause of fear if I've ever seen one.

The specific tip I was following up that night was from yet another source that refused to identify themselves, claiming to have seen Death fleeing into Oakridge forest sometime over the last few hours, presumably right after melting the flesh off of one of Woodale's hospital patients. Sick. Seeing as, if the tip turned out to be true, time was of the essence, I was sent immediately without time to pick up my partner, within radio contact of backup, if needed.

_Officer Jenny_, the intercom in my Rapidash crackled. _Officer Jenny, do you copy?_

"It's _Detective Jenkins_," I spat into the receiver. The paper-pushers at headquarters didn't do field work for a _reason_. "What is it?"

"Just got a call from a Ranger in the Green Lake Campgrounds area of Oakridge," the officer on the other end said, chuckling. "Thinks he saw Deathwing. Want to check it out while you're there?"

I growled, restraining myself from cussing the officer out. Deathwing was, as local legend had it, an enormous Dragon-type Pokémon trained by Death that lived in Oakridge, crushing victims whenever Death saw fit. This was, of course, bull crap, as numerous satellite images of the forest had never shown any Pokémon larger than a Fearow… and _certainly_ no Dragons. Even if it _did_ exist, it was more than likely the Dragonite from the Cliffkiln Relief (called as such because, to our relief, no one had died) that had just recently been put to death.

"_Need I remind you, desk jockey, that I'm following the trail of _Death himself, _here?_ There isn't any room for playing around, _got it?_"

Even across the radio, I heard him gulp. "Y-y-y… yes sir, Detective Jenny, sir," he sputtered, quickly cutting the line of communication.

I sighed, leaning back into the black leather seat, absent-mindedly ruffling the fur of my Growlithe, dozing peacefully on the passenger's side. I considered calling it a night: I'd been sitting here for almost four hours now and my thermos of coffee was running dangerously low. I shrugged, grumbled something under my breath about my time being wasted, and turned the key in the ignition, bringing the eight cylinder engine to a roaring hum.

At this point, I heard a cracking noise, and two trees fell towards my vehicle. I threw the car into reverse and floored it, but my tires spun around uselessly, unable to gain traction. Grabbing Growlithe, I threw open the door and dove out of the vehicle, hearing a crunch and feeling shards of glass graze the back of my neck.

Drawing my .44 from its holster, I cocked back the safety, finger firmly on the trigger as I circled around, looking for what had caused the trees to fall. I heard two voices, a man's and a Pokémon's, talking out loud as if they didn't know I'd survived. Perfect.

"Yes, yes," said the human voice, in response to the Pokémon's chatter. "Your cut certainly is _cleaner_ than mine, but you have to admit my tree started falling down first! Speed of draw is important too!"

The Pokémon (as I crept closer, I could tell from its speech patterns that it was a Treecko) began chattering again, prompting the man to sputter and defend his position indignantly. Taking advantage of the internal conflict, I dove in quickly, revolver drawn and badge gleaming in the moonlight.

"_Freeze! POLESTAPH!" _I shouted at the Treecko and the… Gallade? What's a Gallade doing talking? "You're both under arrest for destruction of police property, as well as attempted murder of an officer!"

The Treecko immediately put its hands in the air, and the Gallade reluctantly followed suit. "I'm not sure what law is regarding this sort of thing, but shouldn't we talk about this with our trainers first?"

"Take me to them," I said, motioning with my gun for them to show me the way. Slowly, cautiously, they led me into the forest, towards whatever camp their trainers had set up. Soon enough, the layers of oaks and ashes gave way to clearing, wherein sat three trainers: a red-haired girl, a pale-skinned boy in a visor, and a quite attractive young woman. The Gallade immediately explained the situation, and the boy face palmed.

"Guys…" he said, almost apologetically. "I realize that I didn't _specifically_ tell you not to chop down any trees for firewood that would fall on cop cars but… I was kind of hoping you'd figure it out for yourselves."

"We're sorry officer," the redhead apologized quickly, "Inigo and Gallant have been trying to one-up each other in swordsmanship all day. _I told them_ to stop before it got out of hand, but they just wouldn't listen, would they?" She stared at the two Pokémon, which were now hiding inside one of the group's tents.

"Don't play me for a fool, miss," I said sternly. "You expect me to believe that these Pokémon were acting without any direction whatsoever?"

They all blinked, as if not understanding the question. "Yeah…" the boy said slowly. "Is that… does that really seem so weird?"

"We'll pay for whatever damages our Pokémon may have caused, and we're _awfully_ sorry, officer," the violet-haired one said, batting her eyes. "And it's so _impressive_ that you were able to dive out of the car, with what little notice you had…"

"What? Oh, uh…" Don't blush! "That's nothing, ma'am, standard training."

"And I suppose it's standard training to shield your adorable Growlithe from the blast with your big, strong body, too?" She asked, blushing as she spoke. I cleared my throat, trying to keep my temperature down. I knew what was happening… why couldn't I help but fall for it?

"I can't believe this is really happening," Redhead grumbled.

"I should wake up Medici, he'd get a kick out of this," Visor laughed.

"All right, listen!" I yelled, grabbing the attention of the group. "Seeing as this whole thing was just an accident, I suppose I'll drop the attempted murder charge, _but_," I stressed. "There is the matter of my car. I'll need to get your names to file an incident report at the very least, understood?"

Violet-hair smile innocently. "Vanna Albright," she responded immediately.

"Amber," the redhead said, declining to mention anything further.

"Axel Jackson!" Visor said, extending a hand as if we were meeting on friendly terms. I paused. I'd heard that name before.

"You aren't the Axel Jackson from Cliffkiln, are you?" I asked, drawing my notepad from my pocket nonchalantly.

"Um… well, originally I'm from Pembrook," he explained. "But… I spent a good bit of time in Cliffkiln. I was there when… that… happened, if that's what you're asking."

"Interesting," I said, writing down what he said. "And you were in Cliffkiln for how long?"

"About two years, why?"

"No reason," I said, jotting it down. "And you're how old?"

"Nineteen."

"Which means that, for you to have left on a Pokémon journey at seventeen, you would have had to leave home _before_ the first Pokémon murder ever occurred?"

"Don't answer that," Amber cut Axel off quickly. "I'm sorry, but who exactly…"

"Detective Magnum Jenkins, Pokémon Homicide," I introduced myself with a tip of my cap. "I'm here on an anonymous tip that Death had been seen fleeing into Oakridge forest after committing his latest murder, but a few hours ago."

The three trainers gulped, and their Pokémon became a little less rowdy. Vanna sighed deeply. "Thanks for the heads up, officer. We'll keep a look out."

"You don't quite understand, miss," I responded. "In addition to this tip, we've received several allegations regarding Mr. Jackson here, claiming that _he_ is death."

"Huh?"

"_WHAT?"_

"That's… I can't even _begin_ to describe…"

"Take it easy," I calmed them, motioning them to sit before they'd even begun to rise. "We don't make a habit of believing ever single wild accusation we get. But I do hope you understand why, events lining up as they are, I'd like to ask you a few more questions."

Axel smiled. "I guess that makes sense." Amber began to object, but Axel calmed her. "He's just doing his job, Amber. And I can sort of see where this is coming from." He stood up. "Wherever you'd like, Detective."

I led him a little ways into the woods (to ensure there'd be no interruptions), and took a seat on a nearby stump, while Axel leaned against a tree. We got to talking and honestly, he didn't seem like a bad kid. He explained how'd he gotten where he was… about leaving Pembrook, getting stuck in Cliffkiln and about the various chores his boss had had him go on.

"And all that time, while you were working at Munson's Grocer, you never left Cliffkiln? _Ever?"_

"Well, not _ever_," Axel admitted. "Occasionally, Mr. Munson would send me to deliver a package for a customer outside town. That's how I met Shelligan's Original Trainer, actually. He was a customer from the next town over."

"And… you own this Pokémon now because…"

He looked down. "Well… he's kind of… gone," he said, eyes glistening slightly.

"Oh… sorry to hear that," I said, making a note in my pad. "So I'm assuming this trainer… he left you Shelligan?"

"Shelligan kind of just came with me," Axel explained. "I told him that he could join me if he wanted, and he accepted. Plain and simple."

"Ah," I nodded. "And then you caught the Treecko… Inigo? Sometime afterwards?"

Axel smiled, somehow knowing where I was going. "Already picked up on it, huh Detective?"

"You've never actually _caught_ a single Pokémon, have you, son?"

"Not in the… traditional sense, no," the boy admitted. "You don't get a lot of chance to hunt for Pokémon when you work as much as I did, so I got them all… incidentally, I suppose you could say."

"Care to elaborate on that?" I asked, doing my best to sound casual.

"Not really," he said with a smile. "It's not that I have anything to hide, but… telling would sort of be disrespectful to some people, both alive and dead."

My gut told me I could trust him, though it wasn't exactly professional. Even if he did turn out to be a scumbag, it'd be easy enough to find him again. Flipping my notepad shut, I tipped my cap farewell at him, and he saluted me as I walked back towards… my… car.

Ah well, accidents happen I suppose. And it wouldn't be the first time I asked HQ for a new car with no explanation as to what I did with the old one.

The walk back was longer than I remembered it. Sticks and leaves crunched underfoot as the wind swept underneath my coat, chilling me to the bone briefly before I could pull it shut. A particularly strong gust knocked the scarf my wife had knitted me off, and I stopped over quickly, trying to catch it before it hit the ground.

That's when I saw the boot.

And then the leg attached to the boot. And the body attached to the leg, flattened like a sword on an anvil, blood trickle indicating a recent kill. I brushed the leaves covering the face aside, revealing a young female trainer, first Gym badge still fastened proudly to the hem of her jacket.

I radioed my find in and hightailed it back towards Axel's camp as quickly as possible. Not this time, you sick bastard.

Author's Note:

I'm not sure how good I am at writing a gritty, seen-it-all cop-type character. The reason this took longer than usual is a) trying to capture (and ridiculously overstate) that tone and b) TESTS! ZOMGWTFBBQ! They were everywhere this week. I still have some. It's… it's fine. I'm supposedly a genius. So they say. So _your mom_ says, at least. OOOOH…. Oh. Right. I'm not 12 anymore. Damn it! My roommate says I deserve to be shot for this joke. He's probably right.

Additional note! I've done the math, and this is now the _second_ longest story I've written for this site!

Medici: _WOOT! AW YEAH! _It's only a matter of time before we hit number one, right?

Amaxing: Well, let's see, you guys are at around 38,000 right now, and the longest story is Chancellor Moore: Ace Attorney with a count of…

Amber: _109,000 words?_ Good gravy, what the hell is _that_ about?

Amaxing: Chocolate covered strawberries, mostly.

Viva la feminism?

Oh right! Last thing, I promise!

Just in case you guys forgot, I accept character suggestions! Obviously not main characters, but possible Team WhatItsName members? Townsfolk? Etc.? It's honestly fine. The world itself is pretty fleshed out, but if you feel like saving me some thinking time… I AM COOL WITH THIS. AS LONG AS YOU PUT IT IN A PM BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T CLUTTER UP THE COMMENTS SECTION. But you can still ask questions and stuff in the comments.

NOW VIVA LA FEMINISM.


	18. Chapter 17: Mors Exspectat Mors

Disclaimer: My character claims to own Pokémon!

DM: Make a Bluff check.

Disclaimer: I get… a natural 1.

DM: GEODUDES FALL AND YOU DON'T OWN POKÉMON. Also everyone dies.

(Note: Does this make sense? I've never actually played D & D.)

**Chapter 17: **_**Mors Exspectat Mors**_

**Amber**

Seeing as Axel had gone off into the woods with a strange detective who thought he might be a psychopathic serial killer I was, as you can imagine, quite worried. Axel is anything _but_ discrete, and if he said something that he didn't realize could be taken the wrong way… ugh. I got a feeling I wouldn't be able to explain it away this time… or be able to afford bail.

What I hadn't thought of worrying about, but I really _should_ have, was being alone with Vanna for the first time. Sitting around a campfire with her, just waiting sort of… waiting for someone to say something… that was awkward. I almost felt like waking up one of our Pokémon, who had since long been smart enough to go to bed.

"They've… been gone a while now, huh?" Vanna asked, trying to spark up conversation after long minutes of silence.

"Yeah… they have," I agreed, not really having anything else to say.

More silence. It was becoming extremely apparent that I'd only ever talked with her around Axel.

"You don't think… there's any truth to it, do you?" Vanna asked.

"Absolutely not," I said automatically. "Axel was the one who _prevented_ Cliffkiln from being destroyed, not the one who sent Deathbreath (the news' name for the Dragonite) to kill everyone."

"Oh," Vanna said simply. "Right. I had heard about some 'brave young trainer' on the news. Figures it was Axel."

Somewhere, a dog barked. Crickets chirped. Vanna positioned herself a little closer to the fire Qwill had started, rubbing her hands together. "Who do you think would have accused _Axel_ of being Death, then?" She asked.

"Percy Garrison, probably," I explained, telling Vanna about the Cliffkiln Pro-Am and Axel's match against him. "He snapped after seeing Deathbreath, and started listing off these ludicrous reasons why Axel _had_ to be the Trainer of Death. They thought he'd gone crazy at first, but he somehow found a psychiatrist to declare him sane." I shrugged. "It's amazing what you can just _buy_ these days."

"I know, right? It's a real shame." The wind blew by, and we held our jackets shut, scooting closer to the warm blaze.

"What kind of reasons did Garrison give?" Vanna asked, staring into the fire.

"Well… he had issue with how nicely Axel treated the Dragonite after Medici… sort of crippled it. But that's just Axel, you know?"

"Right, it's just Axel," Vanna agreed. "He's nice to _everyone._"

"Right," I assured her… and myself. "And I mean… he _also_ pointed out that a lot of Death's victims had dies of burns or… cuts or… being pummeled and then psychically hung which would match the battle MOS of Axel's party."

"But lots of trainers have a Fire, a Grass, and a Psychic type," Vanna interjected.

"Right, exactly," I agreed. "So that's not really any proof, is it?"

"Plus, since Death is such a skilled trainer, he's probably got _tons_ of Pokémon, so it'd only make sense that some of them would match up."

"Yeah… yeah," I said, pausing for thought. Vanna shifted around uncomfortably, rummaging through her backpack to try and hide it.

"Were those the only reasons?" she finally asked.

"Well… there was one other one," I said softly.

"What was that?"

"Garrison… he claims to have seen Axel's eyes… glow blue."

We were both silent. The fire's crackling seemed somehow ominous now. I don't know why. "Which is physically impossible, of course," I added.

"Right, of course," Vanna agreed. "But then again… it should be physically impossible for _anyone's_ eyes to glow like that, right?"

It was my turn to shift around uncomfortably. "Well… yeah, I guess." We both let out a sigh. More silence. We were both coming to the same conclusion; it was only a matter of time before someone spoke up.

I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up suddenly, shocking Vanna mildly. "_It's not Axel,"_ I stated loudly. "_It just isn't!_"

"_I never said it was!_" Vanna defended quickly. "But you've got to admit, it is _a little_ suspicious, spending two years in the next town over and never _once_ checking home."

_"He didn't think of it _because he's Axel," I stated.

"I know!" Vanna said, standing up to face me down. "_I know that!_ I just wish there was a _better_ reason than that, that's all!"

"You… I…" I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to scream and tell her why she was horrible for not trusting Axel. But I couldn't. I slumped down onto a nearby log, cradling my heads in my hands. "Me too," I whispered, fighting back sobs.

I heard a throat clear. "I'm… uh, not interrupting anything, am I?"

It was the tall detective again. He'd finally come back from… wait, where was Axel?

"What'd you do with him?" I asked accusingly.

"You mean he hasn't come back yet?" the detective asked.

I gulped, instantly fearing the worst. Nervously, I asked: "what do you mean 'he hasn't come back yet', detective?"

"Well, I finished up with the interview quite some time ago, let him on his way," the detective explained. "Thought he would have gotten back here by now."

"Well we haven't seen him," Vanna offered. "How far away was it? Is there any way he got lost or…"

"No," the detective grunted. "We could see the fire from where we were talking… he should have gotten back here fifteen minutes ago." He thought a moment, and then drew his gun out, immediately causing both Vanna and I to jump. "_Easy_," he said, waving us down. "I'm going out to search for him, that's all. I found a body out there that had just recently been crushed, so Death is _here._ Whether or not it's Axel doesn't matter, but if he hasn't just gotten lost, he's either Death, dead, or _about_ to die, and I'm not letting _any_ of those things escape my notice."

He turned to the woods, taking his leave, but Vanna stopped him. "Wait Mr. Brave Detective Man, it's dangerous to go alone!" She rummaged through her tent, quickly pulling out her backpack. "We'll go with you, ok?"

"Out of the question, ma'am, I can't put any civilians in danger," Officer Jenny said dutifully.

"We're going to go out and look for him _anyway,_" I affirmed, grabbing my backpack as well. "So there's no point in saying no."

The Detective grunted, kicking at the dirt, but eventually caved in. "_Fine_. But stick close, I'm not having any more deaths tonight, understood?"

"Yes sir!" Vanna bounced, calling out Gallade and Gardevoir to help keep track of things. I thought for a moment, and then unzipped Axel's tent, smacking the Pokémon inside of it.

"_Medici!_"I yelled, "Wake up! Axel's missing and Death's nearby!"

"That is _not _how you wake someone," Medici shouted, almost taking the tent with him as he blasted off of the ground, raring to go.

"The hell?" Detective Jenny uttered, but recovered quickly. "_Another one_ that talks? Are you serious?"

"Riiiight, because English is _such_ a hard language to master," Medici said, stretching. "Ok, I say we split up, yeah? We can cover more ground that way."

"Out of the question," the detective said. "I'm not letting any trainers wander the forest by themselves while Death is lurking out there."

"Then send some Pokémon out in a separate party. Gallant should stay with you, just in case, but Shelligan, Inigo, Gardevoir? We can search one side while you guys take the other. That's fair, right?"

The detective nodded. "Fine. If there's one decent thing we can trust Death to do, it's not killing a Pokémon." He pointed at Medici. "Just make sure none of you get any… _ideas_ out there, all right?"

"As _if_ I'd switch over to the Dark side," Medici assured us. "Now let's get going, all right? I don't even want to _think_ of having to get another trainer."

**Gallant**

I do realize that the Meditite's suggestion of having me, out of all of us, protect Ladies Vanna and Amber was an attempt to curry my favor. Almost worked too, had I not been exposed to such subtle manipulations via his trainer Axel beforehand. (You may ask what I mean by this, but it should be fairly obvious. There's only one person alive able to _truly_ sway Vanna using no deceit whatsoever, and last time I checked it wasn't Axel.) Either way, it was a duty I intended to carry out to the fullest of my capabilities; yes, I might be a little scared that Death would come for us and I'd be powerless to stop him, but I couldn't let that get to me.

Keeping a constant psychic edge on my outstretched elbow-blades, I circled around our party as we searched through the woods for Axel. Everyone else was also clearly on edge, as Detective Jenny would occasionally shoot at trees that swayed in the wind (picking up at an alarming rate, I might add), and Vanna would often duck behind the detective, arms squeezing around his waist like her life depended on it. It might have. Amber kept Toto close, flinching occasionally but remaining otherwise resolute. Strong willed, that one.

A loud crash sent us all jumping, and led the detective to empty a full chamber's worth of ammunition into the darkness. We inched slowly towards the source of the noise, finding nothing but a downed tree, cleanly cut by a blade.

Then I heard the chuckle. That blasphemous chuckle that sent my brain reeling, accompanied by a blast of Psychic suggestion that nearly knocked me off my feet.

_You seem strong_, the voice rang in my head. _Care to join me?_

"No one's joining anyone, you sick bastard!" The detective yelled. Apparently, Death wasn't trying at all to be discrete. "Why don't you come out and show yourself, you coward?"

_Oh, but detective, you _know_ I will, in good time, _Death's voice whispered, filling my ears with a Supersonic ringing that I'd never experienced before. _Quite soon, actually, so you might want to get going. I've got a special surprise for you today, aren't you glad I rang your department to let them know I'd be here?_

The anonymous tip the detective had spoken of… had been from Death himself? I gulped, and heard Detective Jenny do the same. This had been a trap, and we'd walked right into it.

I heard Death laugh, soft yet course, maddeningly like a father observing his children. Another surge of suggestion pounded through my brain, and I fought back with all my strength, pounding the earth beneath me to cleanse my body of the instincts coursing through it. A blue light began to build in the back of my mind's eye, and I slammed my head against the nearest tree, not caring what damage I brought upon myself, as long as I didn't give in. The light faded.

_Someday, Deathslice. Someday._ Death assured himself... and me. _Until then, I just thought you all should know: I'll be watching you. _

_So do be careful, won't you?_

I felt Death's presence leave the area, and I collapsed, gasping for breath. Vanna ran to my side, returning me to my Pokéball for rest despite my weak objections. I secretly felt relieved to be inside, though, because this space was safe. Nothing Death could do could break into the secret garden that was a Pokémon's ball… right?

To think I used to look down on Pokémon weak-willed enough to be corrupted by Death. Now… now I understand completely.

**Qwill**

_What's going on? What's going on what's going on what's going on?_

After Axel was done talking with the big muscular dark-skinned man he didn't go back to the campsite and he started running into the forest! And he climbed up into the trees and started looking around and moving between branches which is really hard to do and I've got no idea how Axel managed to do it and not knock me off but he did and _seriously, why aren't we going back to see Amber?_

I don't remember a lot because it was all a blur because Axel was moving really fast but I remember seeing some dead female trainer and I heard Axel cursing and muttering something about 'finding it before he could' and lots of running through the trees and then we almost ran into to Amber and Vanna but he decided not to go up to them and then _I don't even know what's going on! Someone please tell me what that huge thing in the sky is because it's scaring me and I think it's following Axel and I've got no idea what to do about it!_

**Inigo**

I do not know why I chopped down the tree, but I did. Well, all right, I cannot tell a lie. I _do_ know why I chopped down the tree, but I am not proud of it. I would have like to have thought that I had grown resistant to the suggestions of Death, all things considered, but my body reacted faster than my mind could push him out. I am just glad no one was hurt.

The crash, in addition to drawing the attention of Detective Jenny and company (which I was quick to avoid, and make my way back to Medici's group), caused something to stir in the forest. Upon reuniting with Medici, Shelligan, and Gardevoir, I found the performer curled up in its shell, being carried by Medici. Gardevoir, all past occurrences forgotten, was almost touching the Meditite, as close as she was following him. We heard a loud caw, and bright blue flares the size of car headlights suddenly lit up our area, the windstorm now escalating into a virtual Twister as an enormous shape (a Dragon? A god?) rose into the air, bathing us all in a sickly azure.

Then, we heard a great burst of wind, and the shape took off, roaring through the air like a jet plane, leaving behind gale force gusts in its wake. Medici, sensing its purpose, yelled _"after it! Hurry!_" And we took off through the forest. I darted out ahead, cutting down low-hanging branches that blocked our way while Medici bounded from trunk to trunk. As trees fell around us, we blasted whichever ones threatened us before they could touch the ground, showering the ground of Oakridge with wooden shrapnel as we tore after the gargantuan beast. Finally, after what could have been either minutes or hours of running, we erupted into a clearing. The beast has since landed in the forest on the other side, and we began to continue our chase, but Amber, Vanna, and the detective burst out into the clearing from that very section of forest. Confused, we looked at each other, not quite understanding how what had happened had happened.

Our thoughts were interrupted, however, by an all-too-familiar sickening laugh coming from above. Looking up, I immediately unsheathed my Leaf Blades to their maximum length, staring with unbridled hatred at the cloaked man perched on top of a dead fir tree, at least seventy feet in the air.

_Looks like the gang's all here_, she whispered, bright blue eyes shining from under his mask.

Author's Note:

Whenever I write a sequence like this, where it has to balance action with suspense with plot development, I always get the feeling it's not overwhelming enough.

Maybe that's a good thing, but I don't know. The purpose of something like this is to be disorienting and exciting, but I always feel like my writing's a little too straightforward.

Then again, it might only seem straightforward to me because I know what happens next. What do you think? I do, while it might not seem like it sometimes, care.

Viva la feminism?


	19. Chapter 18: With Apologies to Silver

Disclaimer: I heard you like Disclaimers, so we put a Disclaimer in your disclaimer so you cannot own Pokémon while you not own Pokémon.

It's almost _unbearably_ Meta.

**Chapter 18: With Apologies to Silver**

**Vanna**

So this was it. This… was Death.

I heard Amber begin to cry, and I pulled her close, also remaining as close as possible to Detective Jenny. Gardevoir and Medici put up Barriers before they could even be directed to. And Death laughed, a wretched laugh that sounded too much like a child playing with his favorite toy.

The Detective shot his gun directly at Death, not even bothering to talk first, but Death… _he smacked the bullets aside_. Or did she just stand there and let them go through her? I couldn't tell you which. I wanted my mother and father. And Bertrand. And Axel. And I wanted to know that I'd lived a good life, so I didn't have to be so damn afraid of Death, and I wanted it to _stop finding this so DAMN FUNNY!_

_I do apologize if I sound like I'm making light of your plights_, Death said, almost as if responding to my thoughts. _But I can't help but find your reactions amusing. After all, I've never done anything to… _most_ of you_ he chuckled. _So why the looks of terror? It's almost as if you've never met anyone who's seen Death and live to tell the… oh wait. That's right. Again, my apologies._ And he laughed.

"_What do you want with us, you basket case?_" Detective Jenny screamed over the howling winds, echoing almost perfectly Death's howling laughter.

_I'm just worried that a local legend might fade out of existence_, Death said, almost as if she was a concerned citizen doing the public a favor. _There are so many reports these days about how 'Deathwing isn't real' and that 'there's no way Oakridge forest could support so colossal a Pokémon' and, that really gets me, you know?_ He nodded to himself, looking eerily like a bobbing Duskull behind her mask. _I just want to make sure that the legend lives on… because it's a legend that people really _should_ take heed of._

I heard Death speak something unintelligible and archaic, and an enormous shadow burst from the woods and into the sky, blotting out the moon with its incredibly prodigious girth. The Screech it let out tore through the air like a Sonicboom, blasting apart the trees around us that weren't behind the Barrier. It hovered behind Death, waiting for a command, each beating of its enormous wings sending shockwaves through the air.

"_Well, what are you waiting for?_" I heard Amber scream through sobs. _"If you're going to do it, get on with it!_"

_Hush, little baby, _Death crooned. _I don't intend on letting something this momentous go as quickly as your friend Bertrand's death… I… oh, I'm _sorry. _I guess you didn't know about me _searing the busybody's flesh from his bones, _did you?_

Something inside me broke. I charged out into the clearing, somehow making it by the Barriers that were meant to hold back anything. _"You monster!_" I yelled. _"You sick, unforgivable, bastard! What do you _want?"

_Certainly not to be forgiven for anything _Death spat. _I just want to be remembered_, forever, _no matter what. Is that so much to ask?_

"_And _this_ is how you want to be remembered?" _I yelled, trying to appeal to any ounce of reason the psychopath had. "_As some unstable, homicidal freak of nature?"_

Death laughed again, and I felt fear unlike any I'd known before. "_How eloquently you put things, miss. Did you think that would sway me at all? Perhaps appeal to my own pride in an attempt to spare you? Well, I must admit, it might have worked…_ He raised her hand in the air, readying its command to the looming Deathwing. _But, my dear, that's _exactly_ how I want to be remembered. Quite unfortunate for you, actually. Now… Deathwing…_

_ "GO! FIRE BLAST, NOW!"_

A stream of flame erupted from the forest, spiraling towards Death with spot-on precision. Death leapt from the top of the tree, narrowly escaping as the fir burst into flame. Landing on another treetop, Death shook his head, chuckling.

_Always so_ rude_ Axel _Death spat. _And didn't I have Deathwing crush you earlier?_

"I got better," Axel spat back, emerging from the forest covered in twigs, dirt… and blood. I started crying, but not out of fear. Somehow, for some crazy, unexplainable reason, I felt that everything was suddenly ok.

Death laughed again. _Always so simple_ he said, almost approvingly. _I have to say, Axel, I am glad you've finally set off on your journey. You really are _the_ archetypal trainer of fiction, aren't you?_

Axel failed trying to hide his confusion. "I… don't understand."

_Just _look_ at you! You're a young man in a visor and a jacket, travelling with a party of Pokémon consisting of one Starter from each type and a fourth, wild card one that is _improbably_ strong. Add in travelling alongside a childhood friend and your compulsion to help people at every turn and _you are_ the trainer that authors write about, that quintessential trainer of Pokémon Adventure fiction that our generation loves so much, aren't you? Well, except for _one_ thing._

Death raised his arm into the air, and I knew what he was about to say before he even opened her mouth. _What you _lack_, Axel… is a _rival. _And since I can't help but insert myself into this amusing tale, consider the position filled._ He let out a whistle, and Deathwing swooped down from the shadows, landing in the clearing with a large tremor. The reports had been right… it wasn't a Dragon, but an enormous Skarmory, taller than most of the towering oaks, with impossibly sharp wings.

"Medici, return," Axel said suddenly.

"_You're kidding, right?_" Medici yelled, breaking his Barrier out of sheer disbelief. "You honestly think I'll…"

"_Yeah. I do,"_ Axel said firmly, holding Medici's Pokéball out. "_Return."_

Medici trembled, literally biting his tongue to keep from yelling. With an angry 'FINE!' he suddenly condensed into red light, seeping into the Pokéball. Axel minimized it, placing it on his belt.

_Not going to put the Treecko away too?_ Death queried.

"I can trust him," Axel said simply, slowly turning his visor around his head until it faced backwards.

_Well then, let our first battle commence, Mr. Jackson. And don't worry, I won't blame you for cheating_, Death said, turning around. Before any of us could stop him, he _teleported_ away, but not before uttering one last command to the enormous beast:

_Kill._

Axel turned a shade of white pale as I'd ever seen, and before Deathwing had even made a move, I heard him yell out commands.

"_Inigo! Qwill! Shelligan! Aerial tactics, now!"_

It was unlike anything I'd seen before. Qwill immediately ran forward, Head butting Inigo into the air, only to be lashed on by Inigo's whips and tossed forward towards the monstrosity. Shelligan spun, twice as fast as I'd ever seen, clouds soon forming above, aided by the already stormy weather.

"_Vanna!_" Axel barked. "_Get behind the Barrier, now! It _will _come for you! Amber!"_

_ "What is it?" _Amber yelled quickly, wincing as a Steel Wing nearly lopped Axel's head off.

"_Run back to camp and look in my backpack!_" Axel yelled, rolling to the side and throwing a stone at the rampaging bird to draw its attention. "_There should be a black and gold gauntlet somewhere in there, I need you to bring it here!"_

_ "IS THIS REALLY THE BEST TIME TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE WEARING?"_

_ "JUST DO IT!" _Axel yelled. _"TRUST ME!"_

As hectic as things were, they locked eyes for the briefest of moments, and Amber, nodding firmly, dove into the forest without hesitation. Detective Jenny began to follow him, but Axel stopped him.

"I need you here, Detective," Axel said, diving headlong to avoid a deadly Fury Attack. "One, I need someone to protect everyone if I don't make it, and two, what I'm about to do isn't exactly legal." He yelled out to Inigo, whose blades met the goliath's Steel Wing with equal sharpness. "Wouldn't want to miss your chance to arrest me, now would you?"

**Amber**

The forest has become a wreck. Even as I'm climbing over the trunks of downed trees, more are falling. It's like that things very presence is a destructive enough force to uproot _years_ of growth and building.

I don't have the time to think about that, though. Axel needs me. Axel trusts _me_ enough to do this for him. In all the years I've known him, he's never asked the help of anyone, even when he needed it, but this… this is more than enough to show me that things aren't under control.

I need to hurry. Faster, Amber, faster! If things spiral any further out of control, and you don't get back fast enough… I don't want to think about it. I _can't_ think about it!

I'm not going to lose him again.

**Detective Jenkins**

I'd heard stories about how Axel had fought off Deathbreath at Cliffkiln, enough to know that when it came to power, his Pokémon were something ridiculous. What I hadn't expected, though, was for the fight to be so damn _brutal._

The Skarmory tore after Axel with no hesitation, ignoring his three Pokémon like a knight ignores flies bouncing off his armor. What started out as Axel trying to get its attention had quickly turned into a desperate chase, and more than once I could have sworn Axel had been stepped on, only to see him still ahead of the dust cloud, somehow.

Fed up, the bird used its enormous break to grab a nearby tree, uprooting it without the slightest bit of effort, and tossing it in Axel's direction… and ours. Before I could tell Growlithe to burn it, the Treecko's vines were around it, and it was dragging across the ground, trying to stop the lumber's momentum. The Cyndaquil quickly hopped off Axel's shoulder, Slamming into the Treecko to counteract its motion, and the Treecko used the added boost to shoot the trunk back at the Skarmory, splinters erupting everywhere as it landed a direct hit on the steel giant's chest.

Enraged, the bird bucked like a bronco, simultaneously causing a miniature Earthquake and a Twister at the same time. The poor Squirtle was shot into the air like a rag doll, the Treecko buried in the constantly shifting dirt. Axel lost momentum as he hacked from the dust, and the Skarmory was on him instantly. But Axel, instead of screaming, yelled: "_Pinser maneuver! Now!"_

The Squirtle shot down from the sky, ramming into the colossus' enormous neck from above, while the Treecko rose with flashing blades from below. The simultaneous hits forced the Skarmory's mouth open in a caw of pain, and Axel, Cyndaquil now back on his shoulder, pointed down the thing's throat and yelled: "_FIRE!"_

Although the Pokémon was clearly evil, I couldn't help but look away. I still heard the cries of anguish it let out as the column of flame shot down its throat, scorching it from the inside out. When I looked again, its Flailing had become even _more_ violent, and with an impossibly Swift motion it Slashed its head at Axel, connecting with him and sending him flying across the clearing and into the Barrier Gardevoir still held up. I heard something snap, and prayed it wasn't the boy's spine.

Rushing in immediately, the Treecko lunged in front of the boy, slicing away futilely at the beast's iron skin. With a move that almost seemed dismissive, the Skarmory smacked it aside with its iron talons and then, to our horror, smashed its foot down onto the Pokémon's body. I heard it yell out in pain, and Vanna began to cry again. How was this _happening?_

Axel was on his feet again, darting forwards as if he hadn't been hurt in the least. The Cyndaquil was basically like his own personal Flamethrower, jettisoning flame here and there to clear the path ahead. Axel dove under the bird where it's talon still held the Treecko firmly in place, and the Cyndaquil let out another scorching column of fire as the Squirtle rained down lightning from above. The bird yelled out, staggering backwards. Axel grabbed the Treecko, quickly pulling it away.

_How was it standing?_ It was trembling violently, yes, and the way it was holding itself it had clearly broken numerous bones throughout… yet it _stood_. I thought I saw its eyes flash blue, but with a shake of its head the illusion was gone. It breathed deeply, wincing only slightly as the metal giant landed a deadly Peck on its Squirtle companion, and with a loud cry let loose both of its Leaf Blades at once, forming an X shape as it sliced the air.

They broke through. The cuts appeared on the bird's skin, and it wailed and Thrashed about as it tried to crush its aggressors. But the Treecko could not be stopped, and it leapt into a full-fledge fury, landing slice after slice on the Skarmory's body. The Cyndaquil jumped off Axel's shoulder, running across the clearing to the opposite side and letting loose a constant blazing stream, cutting the bird off from escaping. As the behemoth attempted to rise into the air, the Squirtle ricocheted up into the enormous cloud it had produced, crashing down onto the beast's back with a massive electrical discharge.

I couldn't help but gape. This was the Triple Finish, the one-hit KO that only occurred in the battles of lore. And yet, maddeningly, the beast was still Struggling! In fact, it only seemed like the best efforts of Axel's Pokémon could hold it in place, and for how long? The Treecko's knees were starting to wobble, the cloud was running low, and the Cyndaquil could only breathe fire for so long without taking a breath. For the first time, I tried reconciling myself with the thought that it was all over. It wasn't easy.

Then, from nowhere, I heard Amber's voice yell: "Axel! Catch!" The black and gold gauntlet hurtled through the air, and Axel, his attention somehow torn away from Deathwing, jumped up and caught it, quickly fastening it to his right arm.

"_Get ready to let go! _" he yelled, and three Pokémon nodded in acknowledgement. "_Easy… easy! On my signal… NOW!"_

The three Pokémon let up at once, and Deathwing, eyes burning bright, sickly blue, charged Axel head on, preparing a Steel Wing to slice him into bits. Axel, rather than dodge as he had been, reached into his pocket and pulled out… a Pokéball. Placing it in his gauntlet-clad hand, he ran towards the Skarmory, thrusting the ball and his hand directly into the Skarmory's outstretched beak.

The silence was hideous. It was as if the entire forest… no, the entire _world_ had stopped to stare, too afraid of missing the inevitable conclusion to tear their eyes away. Then, rising from the silence, I heard Axel mutter something insane.

"Get in. _NOW."_

The Pokéball began to pulsate between red and white, and a miniature vortex erupted from the ball, encapsulating the shrieking Skarmory in a crimson beam. The behemoth dug its claws into the dirt, fighting back, but weakened as it was, it could not withstand the force of the capture. Contracting into red light, it burst into the Pokéball. It shut with a satisfying click.

Then Axel was thrown across the clearing, smacking against a tree. As he tried to right himself, the ball tried to break free of his grasp again, dragging him through the dirt, causing him to cartwheel and crumple like an old newspaper. With a loud cry, Axel grabbed his arm, thrusting it down onto the ground and throwing his entire weight on top of it. It continued to buckle, wracking the boy's entire body, but he remained over it, holding it down with every ounce of strength he had. Sweat poured down from his brow, and he panted heavily, gasping for whatever breath he could get from the dust-laden air.

Then, suddenly, climactically, the light on the front of the Pokéball faded to white, and the ball ceased to wiggle. Axel stood hesitantly, eyeing the ball carefully as he took a step back, praying to whatever god he had that it didn't just appear to be caught.

Nothing. The ball… held firm.

Axel chuckled weakly, tilting his head back towards the sky. "Congratulations," he whispered. "You just caught a Skarmory." And with those strange, yet somehow fitting words, he collapsed.

Author's Note:

Normally, I don't toot my own horn, but HOLY. GOD. THAT WAS EPIC. I love that feeling you get when you, yourself, who knows exactly what's going to happen, get's excited by the action and wants to know what happens next. If _I'm_ getting this excited, you guys should be jumping right out of your seats, right?

… Right? I would like to know what you guys think. Spare a review, sir? Haven't had one in a while, might be good for my self-esteem.

And there I go trying to guilt my readers into reviewing. I really am a crummy guy, huh? And the way I point out my flaws immediately so no one gets mad at the things I do? Despicable. I'm going to stop talking now. That's a good idea. I'll do that.

Except wait! There was one other thing I wanted to say! It's about the title of the chapter, mainly. I wanted to explain it, just in case you were wondering why I named it 'With Apologies to Silver'.

It's basically like this: Silver is, without question, the best Rival in the history of Pokemon games. Sure, you can argue that Wally is pretty great, what with overcoming a terminal disease and becoming ridiculously powerful, but Silver was THE MAN. Whereas everyone else were given there Pokemon (except for aforementioned Wally, who caught his by himself LIKE A BOSS), Silver stole his from a Pokemon lab. And need I mention that he was the ostracized son of Giovanni, and single-handedly dismantled large sections of Team Rocket by himself JUST CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT? No, I don't need to mention it. Badassery like that needs no explanation.

The reason this chapter apologizes to him is because, and this might be my ego talking, but I believe having Death himself as a rival is just SLIGHTLY more extreme. Just saying. Sorry Silver.

Anyway...

Viva la feminism?


	20. Chapter 19: Axel Explains It All

Disclaimer: I do not own the ghosts from the Legend of Zelda series, the crucial component of Benjamin Franklin's famous (probably not real) kite experiment, or the adorable, if not stereotypical and slightly racist interpretation of a Jamaican referring to a male compatriot.

And I certainly don't own those three things strung together into a single word, either.

**Chapter 19: Axel Explains It All**

**Amber**

I didn't waste any time. With gentle taps, I tested for where the fractures were, judging their location by his reactions. I looked up at Detective Jenny. "Are you attached to that scarf, by any chance?"

"_My wife knit this for me, thank you,"_ the Detective spat, clutching the fabric for dear life.

"Then I'll need you to tear off one of your coat sleeves," I commanded, forgetting completely that this was an officer of the law. It worked, though, because the Detective begrudgingly ripped his sleeve off in one go, handing me the fabric.

Taking a pair of hand scissors from my bag, I quickly fashioned a makeshift wrap to hold the bones in place until we reached town. He struggled a little, even objected, but I held firm, eventually succeeding in creating a functional brace with the addition of a few nearby branches, sliced for size by the patient himself.

"I want you to go in your Pokéball _immediately_," I told Inigo, despite his cries of protest. "And don't you _dare_ come out until we get you to a Pokémon center, understood? If I see you walking around or even chopping things from a seated position, _the consequences will be dire._" Inigo flinched visibly, and, contracting into red light, returned into his Pokéball.

"That's _amazing_, Amber!" Vanna applauded me as I moved on to Shelligan. "How did you _do_ that? I've met quite a few Pokémon _Rangers_ who wouldn't have known how to deal with a Pokémon breaking a leg."

"It's not my fault we've been brainwashed into thinking that Pokémon Centers heal everything," I commented, examining a large gash under the Squirtle's right arm. "But, thanks anyway. Believe it or not, before I got it into my head that Axel had died for… some reason or another, I was training to be a nurse. Also spent a good bit of time teaching first aid to the local Girl Scout troop." I sighed, both because of the simpler, more innocent memories I'd recalled, and because of what I was about to tell Shelligan. "Shelligan, I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to sew this up. _Now._ Just try not to squirm too much, ok?"

"Um… not that I know any better," Detective Jenny said as I used Qwill's breath to sterilize the needle, "but shouldn't we be tending Axel as well? He got thrown across this place… at _least_ three times by my count, and I still don't entirely buy that he wasn't stepped on…"

"He'll live," I shrugged off, pushing the needle gently into Shelligan's skin. "During a class trip to the Maxilla Radio Tower, Axel fell off the seventh story balcony and limped away with just a sprained ankle and a broken toe. I _swear_ sometimes that he knows how to use Harden."

Vanna laughed, paused, and then began to giggle, seemingly at something else. What was so funny? Did this girl get her kicks from… oh God.

"_Not like that," _I stressed. "Honestly, Vanna, are you _twelve?_"

"I certainly hope not, or a good number of guys out there are in trouble," she said coyly, winking at Detective Jenny.

I took a deep breath, letting my anger pass, and tied off Shelligan's stitched as gently as I could. "Such a good boy," I said lovingly, patting him on the head. "Who's my well-behaved little guy? It's _you_ isn't it? In your Pokéball, now." Shelligan, realizing objections were futile, immediately retreated.

"Qwill!" I called out. "You… of course you're fine. Shouldn't have even bothered asking." I lowered myself down to the ground next to Axel, picking up the arm that was strapped inside the black and gold gauntlet. "What do you guys think this thing _is?_" I asked, examining it closely. I hadn't noticed while I was running it back here, but it actually seemed fairly complicated, with mechanized components whirring about even as it wasn't being used. Looking closer at the part near Axel's shoulder, I cringed. Parts of it seemed to have bored itself into his skin.

"Fashionable?" Vanna offered. "He certainly seemed to get a lot more confident when he was wearing it, didn't he?"

"It looks familiar," Detective Jenny mused, leaning over to get a closer look. "Like I was briefed on the technology at some point… or perhaps read about it in a book?"

"I guess I've got some explaining to do, huh?" said Axel, _of course_ still being awake through the whole thing. "Do you mind if I tell it from down here? I don't think I'm ready to sit up just yet."

"Just start talking, son," the detective prompted, pulling out a pad of paper. I sighed. I hope you know what you're doing, Axel.

"I suppose the first thing I should explain is why Death… kind of seems to know me," Axel began.

"Which is something you tell people _before_ they decide to travel with you, I might add," Vanna interrupted, though not as angrily as she should have.

"Yeah… sorry, Vanna," Axel apologized. "But anyway, it all began a little bit after I started working at Munson's grocer, when the first killings started." He paused. "It got to me, you know? I couldn't believe that a Pokémon could be taught to do such horrible things. So, using my methods of persuasion, I eventually got Mr. Munson to send me out to make deliveries… conveniently to areas where Death had started attacking people.

That's actually how I met Barnum, Shelligan's first trainer. He was a resident at one of the very first towns I went to. Death was just getting started back then, and his Pokémon… they were just Pokémon. For a while, I was able to just camp out during the night, look for the blue lights, and fight off whatever Pokémon was being sent. It was good training, and while I wasn't _stopping_ Death… I was helping a little, you know?

Then Death stepped up his game, and suddenly I couldn't do _anything._ The attacks became so fast and random that I could hardly do anything about them. Barnum…" He paused, his voice catching in his throat for a second. "I got there soon enough to actually _see_ the Pokémon that had gotten him. Not that I could do anything about it. I was lucky not to be killed as well.

That's when I decided I needed to find a more permanent solution. A way to not only fend off the Pokémon attacking, but to make sure that they could never attack again once I'd gotten to them." He smiled. "The idea to catch them came instantly, but there were problems with that. After all, the Pokémon technically _did _belong to Death, which meant that a normal Pokéball wouldn't do a thing to them. Original Trainer ID marks, Security Protocols and whatnot."

"AH!" Detective Jenny blurted out suddenly. "_That's_ where I've seen that thing before! That thing…" he hastily picked up Axel's arm, examining the gauntlet. "It's more modern, highly modified… but this looks similar to an artifact I saw at the Severna Criminal History Museum!" He scratched his chin, thinking. "I want to say… it's a relic from the Orre region?"

"Yeah!" Axel said excitedly, finding the strength to sit up slowly. "I remembered reading about the Cipher crime syndicate in Antebellum History. They used to use these machines called Snaggers to overwrite Trainer Identification Codes and steal Pokémon from other people."

I nodded slowly, recalling the same thing. Antebellum History _had_ been the only class in school that Axel had done better than me in. It had always struck me as odd how excited he got over the subject matter… after all; the Orre dynasty fell over three hundred years ago! Axel probably couldn't tell you what happened in the news _last week._

"I knew that a lot of people would think I was a criminal-waiting-to-happen if I talked to them about it," Axel continued, "so I had to find someone who could have a purely objective, scientific opinion on the matter."

"Which is when you started frequenting the lab of Professor Redwood?" Detective Jenny asked.

"Yeah, that's right. By dumb luck, he'd done research on the artifacts _years_ ago, and already had the blueprints for a working model." Axel tapped the gauntlet. "But that's not the only thing we eventually put into this thing. There's a reason it's called the BBUTTON, and not the 'Snagger 2.0'"

"I'm sorry… BBUTTON?" I asked, giving Axel a weird look. "What kind of name is that?"

"It's a Ball Binder Using The Trainer's Own Newtons…" Axel explained. "A BBUTTON. As Death's Pokémon became stronger and stronger, we realized that no normal Pokéball would be able to hold them. So Redwood, being the genius he is, developed a system that allows me to use my own strength to keep the ball from breaking open again." He clenched his fist, the gauntlet clanking as he did so. "As long as I hold it down… as long as I never let go, it'll be caught. Of course, there's always the risk that I'll overestimate my own strength and the thing will suck the life out of me." He smiled. "But that won't happen. I know myself pretty well."

"Well, what do you know… you were right," Detective Jenny admitted. "That _is_ incredibly illegal. If that technology ever got out on the black market…" he whistled. "I don't even want to think of the mop-up work that would entail."

"In my defense, I am just technically beta testing it," Axel said quickly. "It's for science! And it also lets me stop Pokémon from killing people. I guess I should mention that too."

"I don't know…" the Detective grumbled. "On one hand, you _did_ just capture Deathwing with that thing… load off of all of our minds over at the force, on the other hand…" He shook his head. "I can't let that technology just wander around in the hands of some random trainer."

"Oh, _please_ don't arrest him, Mr. Jenny sir!" Vanna cooed. "I'll look after it, I promise! I'll make sure… he doesn't do anything _naughty_ with it." _God damn it Vanna, this isn't the time!_

"You misunderstand my intentions, ma'am," Detective Jenny blushed. _Shame on you detective! You're a married man!_ "I just want to take him down to the station for a while, promise."

"Noooooo!" Vanna pouted, progressively sounding more and more slu… ahem, _forward. _"You can't take him now! There's so much I still want to do with him!"

"_What?_" I yelled.

"What?" Axel asked obliviously.

"I… um… herm…" Detective Jenny squirmed, becoming increasingly flustered. "Look I… if I promise to have him back by tomorrow night, will you let me take him?"

"You mean I'll have to be _alone_ tonight?" Vanna asked, batting her eyebrows.

"_You'll have me,_" I said, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away. "Axel, go with the nice man. Make sure you get enough sleep, ok? And bring back some Super Potion if you pass by a Poke Mart, all right?"

"Whatever you say, boss," Axel laughed, slowly pushing himself to his feet. "Lead the way, Detective."

"Right this way, son," Officer Jenny replied, offering his arm as support. "You'll be able to rest easier once we get back to… my… car…" He stopped moving suddenly, letting out a heavy sigh.

"We're walking, aren't we?" Axel asked weakly.

"Since back-up apparently never got my transmission… yes. I'm afraid so."

"Carry me?"

"Not a chance, kid."

"Worth a shot."

Author's Note

First things first! _Someone asked a question._ I am quite pleased. Reader Ghingahn asks:

F_irst off, what gender is Death? You switch between using "he", "she", and "it" to describe...great, now I don't know what to call Death either. Anyways, is Death's gender unknown? If so, could you explain that in the story? It's awfully jarring when you describe Death with multiple pronouns._

… You have no idea how pleased I am that you picked up on that. Plus 500 points for Ghingahn! Better luck next time, everyone else!

There's no way to really explain this in the story in… the foreseeable future, anyway, so I'll answer it here. In person, Death sounds and looks basically like everything. I'd call it an androgynous voice, but it's more than just both male and female; it's as if you were speaking to multiple sexes, races, and species at once. Death unites all, you know. People don't know how to describe it, and it's that confusion that leads to the use of different pronouns in various instances.

Hope that explains it! I believe this chapter was basically dealing with your 'why is this illegal' question, so I didn't bother answering it.

Also! Plus 300 points if you groaned and/or face palmed when you found out the gauntlet was named the BBUTTON. I really can be awful, can't I? A Newton, for those of you who don't know, is the standard unit of force, so the acronym totally works.

Viva la feminism?


	21. Chapter 20: Wounds Within

Disclaimer: 9 4FEK FNE GFB5DFE.

**Chapter 20: Wounds Within**

**Medici**

Before leaving with the detective, Axel let me out of my Pokéball, asking me to stand watch with Amber and Vanna on the off chance that something _else_ would happen.

So he trusts me with _that_ at least.

Really, it is great that he trusts me to stand around and watch as _nothing happens._ It makes me feel _so_ good about myself, knowing that my master is perfectly fine with letting me do whatever I want as long as nothing _serious_ is happening. And the fact that he tells me to go in Pokéball the very moment that _everyone's lives are in danger? _I love it! _It makes me feel so! DAMN! GOOD!_

The force of the punch I let loose on the tree in front of me caused it to collapse. Not as if anyone would notice, seeing as the entire forest was a wreck. I'd tell you how that had happened, _but I wasn't there when it happened, now was I?_

I could feel myself tremble with Rage, but I forced myself to calm down, attempting to the do the breathing exercise Inigo had taught me. Breathe in… hold it… focus… breathe out. Breathe in… hold it…

Smash your guitar against a rock. Repeatedly. Then rebuild it using only the _power of your mind that could have been useful in capturing an enormous flying death machine_ and smash it again. Repeatedly. As therapeutic as the exercise was, it wasn't helping me control my anger, and I let out another yell, tossing the instrument aside and smashing the rock apart with my fists.

"You talk to him," I heard Shelligan whisper to Qwill, thinking I couldn't hear him.

"_No way no way no way! Medici is being really scary right now! No way no way no way!"_ Qwill pleaded, not even _trying_ to whisper. I smashed the rock again, sending off a small tremor in their direction, and they scattered. So you're not afraid of Death, but you're afraid of me? _Is that how it is?_

_Don't think like that_ a note that had somehow gotten into my hands told me. Confused, I turned around quickly… and she was there. Gardevoir, terrified of me in nearly every other circumstance, was _right there._ How could I not have calmed down?

"I… um, I…" She continued to stare at me, and I sighed. "I mean, come on… if you were put in your Pokéball right before someone tried to kill everyone you cared about, you'd…"

_No excuses_ she wrote forcefully… somehow. I began to object, saying that it was a waste of my power to not at least have me _protect_ people, how Axel had completely ignored my feelings on the matter, how it was basically torture to sit in my ball and just _wait_, occasionally hearing a loud shout or scream, but she continued to point at the pad over and over again.

"… Why?" I asked weakly. "There's not a _single way_ I was wronged in this scenario?"

_He cares about you_ she wrote simply, placing the note in my hand for me to stare at. _He didn't want you to get hurt._

"What…" I paused. "But… why not return _everyone_ then? Why only me?"

"Because you _obviously _would have gotten carried away, like you _always_ do," I heard a voice say from behind me. I whipped around quickly, shocked, and the owner sighed. "Of course, even with your _grand mental prowess_ you don't notice me here. Why do I even bother?"

This might only serve to reinforce her preconceptions about… all of us, but I _really_ don't like Amber's Totodile. You can't cut a guy some slack when he's getting over a sudden, unexpected emotional crisis? Which I seem to be having a lot of lately for… some reason?

"But _anyway_," Totodile spat at me. "If I know Axel the way I _think_ I do, then don't you think he returned you because he knew you'd just throw yourself at Deathwing without thinking and gotten killed? Hell, I've only known you less than a month, and I'd have done the same thing."

I hated to admit it, but she was right. Not that I'd say that out loud.

"Thanks Gardevoir," I said, causing Totodile to leave in a huff. "Is that… is that all you wanted? To put me in my place?"

Gardevoir turned red, and the illusion that she'd actually been trying to tell me what to do shattered into a million pieces. She hastily scribbled a note on her pad:

_No! I didn't intend to be so critical. I wanted to ask for help, actually._

"Help? Really?" I chuckled, reassembling my guitar as I began to calm down. "You remember it's _me_ you're talking to, right? The creepy one?"

She smiled, and I swear to God I _literally _almost melted. _It's useful creepiness_, she wrote mysteriously.

**Gallant**

When the first thing you see when you're brought out of your Pokéball is your trainer crying, you immediately think the worst.

_"What is the matter? Are you hurt? Is everyone all right?"_ I inquired quickly, cursing myself for falling under Death's pressure so easily and having needed to rest. "_Please, Miss Vanna, answer me! Where is the Detective? Should I send for help?"_

"No… it's nothing like that," Vanna said, wiping her eyes. "Everyone's fine, and Axel's just in town with the Detective but…" she sobbed again, her entire body heaving with each shaky breath. "Bertrand… Gallant, Bertrand's dead! Death… he killed him."

I was shocked. Death had really gone out of her way to kill a dying man? That seemed odd for him, all things considered. Could it be that Bertrand had seen something he shouldn't have? That Death… unfathomable, unknowable Death, had needed to _cover its tracks?_

I would have continued thinking, but I felt Vanna's arms grab me suddenly, wrapping me in a tight, almost suffocating embrace as she wept onto my shoulder. I froze. What was I supposed to do? Gently, hesitantly, I patted her on the head, whispering "_there there_," like an uneducated buffoon.

Then again, in a situation like this, I suppose that's quite a fitting descriptor.

"_ORDEEEEER UUUUUUUP!" _I heard someone yell, and before I could even respond, the tent flap opened, and Gardevoir, flawless Gardevoir, walked in, taking Vanna by the hand and gently pulling her outside. Vanna resisted, taking a few minutes to pull herself together, and eventually caved, dragging me along as well.

The Meditite had gotten a ridiculous looking 'Kiss the Cook' apron from somewhere, and had constructed a roaring fire, over which spun a rotisserie chicken that he occasionally seasoned.

"Good evening, ma'am," he said with a bow, motioning her to take a seat at a freshly crafted table (from the methodology of the cuts, I could tell that Inigo had been involved). "You're in for a very special treat tonight. Munson-style spitfire chicken with an exquisitely tossed salad and a fine chardonnay."

"You… I… what's going on here?" Vanna sputtered.

"Nothing at all," Medici shrugged. "I just felt like spontaneously turning our campsite into a fine dining atmosphere, and everyone else agreed to go along with on a whim. Now if you'll sit down…" He turned sharply towards a hastily constructed tarp. "Shelligan! Get out here and exquisitely toss that salad!"

The Squirtle's skill at juggling and performance has already been discussed at length, so suffice it to say… the tossing of the salad was indeed exquisite. I sat down at the table in shock and awe, and found that Gardevoir had snuck into the role of our waitress, setting our places and grating cheese over our salads.

By this time, Amber had returned (she had gone to report the Deathwing incident to the nearest station, I believe), and Medici went behind the tarp, bringing back another table that looked even _more_ recently carved. She smiled warmly at Medici, examined the table briefly, and then walked into the 'kitchen area'. I heard the Treecko yelp in fear, and saw a brief flash of red before Amber returned, Pokéball in hand, and sat down at the table, Qwill joining her eagerly, Totodile joining her begrudgingly.

When the chicken was served, I nibbled hesitantly at first, but found that the Meditite's skills were incredible (whoever this 'Munson' was that he spoke of learning from, he must have been a culinary genius). Vanna, fully understanding what was going on by this point, gripped Medici in a tight hug as he walked by the table, and I can't say I blamed her. I knew that the gentleman face the Meditite wore was a Façade, and that more likely than not this had been Gardevoir's idea, but it mattered not. Vanna was smiling and laughing, troubles not forgotten but at the very least softened, and I gave the Meditite a thankful nod as he walked by.

_Not bad at all, you insolent cur, _I thought to him.

_Yeah… I know_ he replied haughtily, smiling broadly.

**Qwill**

_Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum! _Medici cooks really well which makes sense because he learned how to cook from Mr. Munson who also cooks really well and I never really understood why because as far as I know up until that point he'd only even had to cook for himself but I guess even old single men have a right to be really good chefs and _oh my gosh look at that Axel's back!_

He came back and at first he was kind of disappointed because he thought that Medici had decided to cook on the _one day_ that Axel wasn't there to eat it and I can understand why he'd be disappointed by that because I mean _who wouldn't be_ but it turned out okay because Medici saved some for Axel and he tore into it because it was really yummy and that's what you do with really yummy food or at least that's what Medici says because if you asked Treecko he's say that really yummy food should be savored over a long period of time and not squatted or something like that but I don't really understand that but I don't understand a lot.

After he was done eating Vanna and Amber and Medici and Gallant and Shelligan and I all asked Axel what the detective had done with him and first Axel took out the BBUTTON to show that they hadn't taken it away from him which was a relief to me because otherwise Professor Redwood might get really mad and then I might not get to play with Champers ever again and that would be _so sad_ because I really like getting thrown in the air when it isn't painful!

But anyway we asked Axel what had happened and he said "I've got some good news and some bad news and first the good news is that none of use are getting arrested," which is really really awesome because I've heard that horrible things happen to unevolved Pokémon in jail and I just thinking about it makes me shiver like I've been hit by an Ice Beam except _so much worse_ because Ice Beam's not that bad, but anyway Axel also said "and another part of the good news which I should call _awesome_ news because that's what Qwill would call it and he's super smart and cute and we should all listen to the really cool things he says is that they decided that if they were going to let me keep the gauntlet I'd have to be part of POLESTAPH and so they made me an honorary officer!"

Everyone was really happy for Axel and starting cheering except for AMBER because she's really smart and has a good memory and remembered that Axel also said there was bad news and so while she was happy and she smiled for Axel she didn't full out celebrate because then she asked "what's the bad news?" and everyone else whose memories weren't as good as _AMBER'S_ calmed down a little and started asking like 'yeah, what _is_ the bad news' and 'why is Qwill so awesome' and I answered partially because I was born that way and partially because Amber raised me to be that way and partially because Axel trained me to be that way and partially because _oh you're so sweet for saying I'm awesome!_

Axel sighed but not really in a depressed way but more of a resigned 'this is just what happened and I'm actually perfectly ok with living with it and also this may turn out to be awesome but I'm not sure but seriously it's not depressing at all' sort of way and he said 'I may or may not have an assignment to do' he said, which didn't make any sense to me at first because why would the police department give Axel homework to do? Unless it was the Detective's exam which would be super awesome because that would mean that Axel would be a real life police detective and then he could change his name to Jenny and I could be friends with a bunch of Growlithes and Arcanines which would be _so cool_ because

**Narrative ended in interest of reader sanity**

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! I'm totally alive and stuff! School kept me pretty busy over the last week, but hopefully I'll have more time to write seeing as Thanksgiving break's coming up! If I can generate a surplus, I can release one every couple of days without having to rush to finish them… ooh… applying economics to fan fiction is so _practical_… and _sexy_.

Yes, the dreaded Qwill narrative has returned! I know it's hard to read, and I apologize for that, but you have to understand! It's so easy for me to write because it's the closest thing to my natural thought process in this story! Also, believe it or not, there are some people who find it brilliant and adorable, comparing it to… (gasp) _Faulkner! NOOOOOOOOO!_

I kid. It's a great compliment, I understand. But I've never quite been able to forgive Faulkner for _The Sound and the Fury_ no matter _how badass_ the original quote from Shakespeare may be:

_Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player  
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage  
And then is heard no more: it is a tale  
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,  
Signifying nothing._

I wonder… could the same thing be said about Death? Perhaps the opposite?

Also…

Viva la feminism?

Also also:

_Happy Thanksgiving! To all my American peeps out there who celebrate it! _To those of you who aren't American peeps and/or don't celebrate Thanksgiving… have a nice day, and be thankful that you won't be forced to eat turkey this coming Thursday.


	22. Chapter 21: A Rapper

Disclaimer: The content of this chapter may induce a good amount of face palming. If your face is unable to take an inordinate amount of face palming, you are welcome to private message AMAXING for a brief summary of the events of this chapter if you are so inclined. Otherwise, enjoy.

Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Pocket Monsters?

**Chapter 21: A… (sigh)… Rapper**

_Drop some beats, Magnezone! _(MAGNE/NEZONE/ZONEMAG/MAGZONE)

_Yeah, that's tight! We gettin' real up in here! (ZONMAG/NEMA/MAGZE/ZONME) Bring it on!  
_

_ Who's that guy, girl, makes the ladies smile, girl?_

_ Makes you think that everything's all right for a while, girl?_

_ He ain't no liar, he's a testifier_

_ Has an inner fire and his name is Skyler. _

_ Six foot two with a dark blue hairdo_

_ Tangela, Deino, Magnezone up in this crew_

_ 'Quit it for a while''s what my partner said_

_ But she can't stop my freestylin' if its up in my head, dig?_

"No, I _don't_ dig, and I can _still hear you_," Lexi groaned. "You remember that talk I had with you earlier about how talking in your head means not moving your mouth?"

_Kinda sort might've maybe_

_ Still think that you're crazy, baby_

_ Pray, what able-bodied lady_

_ Wouldn't hear me and go crazy?_

"I'm going crazy, all right," she smirked, punching me in the arm as was customary. "And since I've made it abundantly clear that you don't have a shot with me, that can only mean one thing, huh?"

_I'm heading into town once more_

_ To shop at yonder grocery store?_

"Nice use of yonder… and iambic tetrameter," she laughed, punching my arm again. "And also, nice guess. Though since you do it _every_ Thursday, it's not really a surprise any more, is it?"

I chuckled, ruffling my shaggy hair in an attempt to look cute, and whistled for Dino (my Deino), who came running obediently… right into the wall behind me. Magnezone growled in resignation as per usual, and Tangela just sort of scuffed her red boots on the floor, a bit embarrassed, but not really. We stepped outside, taking in a deep breath of crisp mountain air before heading down the path towards Severna.

All right, so maybe I should explain who I am again, seeing as the first time was… a bit murky, if I'm honest. The name's Skyler, and I work at a research facility due north of Severna, about halfway up Mount Harrow. The hot blonde who was scolding me earlier was my coworker, Lexi, who accompanies me when we have to run errands outside town.

Yeah, I should probably clear that up now: my genius is purely lyrical. Neither Lexi nor I actually do any _research_ in the lab… we're basically grunts. Filing, making deliveries, fundraising… all sorts of odds and ends. I can't complain. It's decent work, and there's usually plenty of time to hang around town, win open mic competitions, battle a few Pokémon here and there. Maybe not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but something I could easily do for a couple more years if I had to.

Though the fact that there aren't a _whole_ lot of words that rhyme with 'Harrow' is a bit discouraging sometimes. The best lick I've been able to come up with is:

_I'm a workin' at Mount Harrow_

_ Keeping to the straight and narrow_

_ Cash falls like a rain of arrows_

_ Cart it off in a wheelbarrow_

This is, as you could probably hear, not only incredibly lame, but also pretty much untrue. I get by, but not with a _whole_ lot of extra dough. Plus catching arrows with a wheelbarrow just doesn't make any sense, and changing the last line to _Pierce my wallet like a sparrow_ is both nonsensical and suggests cruelty to animals. I mean, what are my other options? Marrow? Tarot? Pharaoh? You see the problem.

I tipped my non-existent hat at the guard on watch, and after checking my ID he let me in without incident. I inhaled deeply, allowing the mixed scents of lemon geraniums, poinsettias, and Northern-style open pit barbeque to fill my nostrils. She didn't know I knew, but Lexi always tried to make sure I'd have a little cash leftover after shopping to get Dino and I some melt-in-your-mouth Midas Touch Ribs. Not only yummy for humans, but also purported to heal 150 HP to any Pokémon who eats them.

Normally, I'd have mulled around near the Museum district for a little while, or checked in at the contest hall, but a stricter curfew had been put in place just a few days back, after the whole Deathwing incident in Oakridge forest. Since the police hadn't let loose any details about what had happened, Severna had been keeping an eye on all incoming trainers recently, trying to see if they could guess who had been the hero who defeated the dragon. No luck, however; though there were rumors that a Treecko with two broken legs had been brought into the Pokémon center. Not that the nurses there would say whom it belonged to.

I returned Dino before heading into the local convenience store (last time I'd tried letting him run loose, he almost knocked down every single shelf. Wasn't exactly good on my wallet). I skimmed the shelves quickly, already knowing exactly where to pick up Magnezone's oil, Dino's chicken, and Lexi's Funions (she's obsessed with those things, I swear. It isn't healthy. And neither are the Funions.)

And then, as I was strolling through the bread isle, deciding between white and whole wheat hamburger rolls, it happened. That moment every man dreams of. I could almost hear my internal monologue begin to narrate as she entered the isle:

_There she is. The most beautiful girl you've ever laid eyes on. Alone, not particularly distracted, possibly single, though probably not, I mean look at her. Still, there's no possible way you can let this opportunity pass you by and not regret it forever, so the question stands: what do you do?_

She looked around for a minute, making sure there was no one else in the isle, and looked at me, confused. "I'm sorry," she said, moving a few bangs of gorgeous red hair out of her eyes, "were you talking to me? And… do you… expect me to answer that question, or…"

_Aw crap! I did it again! What kind of improbable thought-to-speech malfunction is this?_

"Sorry about that," I apologized quickly, ruffling the _hell_ out of my hair. "I um… what I meant to say was… hi."

"Hi…" she said, eyeing me warily. "Can I… help you with something?"

"Well, uh…" _Quick! You've rehearsed this! Just go into it like we practiced!_ Nodding in self-assurance, I began:

_I like your style, girl_

_ That's some wicked smile, girl_

_ Anything that I can do to hold you for a while, girl?_

"Stop right there," she interrupted. "I'm flattered, really, but I'm not planning on staying in town for very long. Plus… that's _obviously_ pre-rehearsed. I heard you say as much." She motioned towards the shelves. "You should pick up whole wheat, by the way. Healthier."

"Wait, wait, wait!" I said, obediently putting the bread into my shopping basket. "Is there any chance you'll change your mind if I do something… more impressive?"

She paused. "Like what?" She asked, almost seeming interested.

"Give me thirty seconds and a name to work with. It'll be worth your time," I smiled.

The look of suspicion/disbelief on her face didn't fade, but incredibly enough she introduced herself. "Amber," she said.

"Huh…" I mused. "A redhead named Amber. There goes any chance of using name-hair color comparison. Not making this easy, huh?"

"So you're giving up?" She asked, almost sounding hopeful.

"Not even," I chuckled, clearing my throat. "Magnezone! The beats, they are restless. Lay them."

_MagneZONZON MagnemagneZONZON_

_ This is my preamble_

_ And I don't mean to ramble_

_ But I gamble that this sample_

_ Will make a damn good example_

_ Of my standard acts of amour, Amber_

_ If you'll let me be candid_

_ I could nab you like a bandit_

_ Randomly, but like I planned it_

_ And no one would dare to pan it_

_ Can it, scam it, or examine_

_ Any pandering. The timbre_

_ Of your voice is slammin', Amber_

_ Raise my dander, draw my gander_

_ Force my candor, Loose my damper,_

_ Quick, somebody call for help!_

_ I think I need… _

_ An Amber-lance._

_ Yeah… I said it._

Cheers from the customers nearby. I smiled, giving a short, yet modest bow. It really does feel good to be absolutely flawless sometimes.

Though, to be perfectly honest, what felt best was the small, light clapping that Amber gave me. "Very impressive," she admitted, nodding. "Though I'm still a bit unconvinced that that was spontaneous. What if I'd been named Brittany?"

_Could you sit with me a bit_

_ And hear my litany, sweet Brittany_

_ I…_

"Ok, ok, I get it," she laughed. "Not giving up easy, are you?"

"Persistence is my biggest character flaw," I cited from my resume`.

"Which sucks because… well…" She bit her lip. "Don't get me wrong, you seem really nice. But, like I said earlier, I'm really not going to be here for very long. I'm traveling the Gym leader circuit, you see, so I don't expect to stay for more than a few days."

"Whoa, whoa," I said, following her down through the refrigerated section. "Don't sell Goliath Gold short, Amber. Back in the day, he was one of the _Elite Four_. His Rhydon is supposedly powerful enough to _haul a train. A TRAIN!_ It's the kind of story a guy can right a lyrical epic to."

"I'm assuming you've written a lyrical epic to it?" she asked knowingly.

"See? We already understand each other. The chemistry is _clearly_ organic."

"Getting right back to that, I see…" she shrugged off. "All right, look." She paused, looking me right in the eye. "You're cute. I like you. If I had time, I'd _love_ to give it a whirl. I could see it being a lot of fun, and that's kind of what I need right now."

"Well…" I offered. "If that's what you need right now, why not just give it a whirl and leave it at that?"

"What… you just want to go have dinner, chat for a few hours and… leave it at that? You don't want anything else?"

"Well, of _course_ I want something else, but if you're not staying for long, there's no point." I shrugged. "You got to understand, this is a very earnest feeling on my part; kind of scary, really. I know it doesn't end well for me no matter what, but I can't let you slip away without at least a _little_ quality time, you know?"

She blushed a shade of red that almost matched the deep auburn of her hair. Was this what love felt like? If it was, then I was falling for this chick _way_ too fast, and needed to pull back and think for a minute. _Split-second romance does not end well! Remember Romeo and Juliet's death knell!_ Ooh. I should write that down.

"You can come over for dinner tomorrow," she said softly. "I'll tell Medici to make something extra special, and then maybe afterwards… I don't even know, what is there to do around here?"

"Mountain's a nice place for an after-dinner hike," I suggested. "If you're up for it, of course."

She scoffed playfully. "Challenge accepted, uh… um, oh." She blushed again. My heart skipped a beat. "I never actually got your name, did I?"

"Skyler Blue," I said with a salute. "Supposedly related to _the _legendary Blue from way back when but… nobody really has accurate family trees that far back, now do they?"

"All right," she smiled. "I'll see you then at around… 6:00? We'll be cooking over in the Edgewood camping site."

"Great! See you then!" I said, waving as she walked away, clearly a little embarrassed. I waited until she was out of sight and then pumped my fist into the air triumphantly.

_This is the best day ever!_ I thought. Out loud. Loud enough to frighten a nearby shopper. I smacked myself in the head. I really need to stop doing that.

**Amber**

Believe it or not, nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Sure, I'd gone out with a few guys in Pembrook, but to be approached so… suddenly, _earnestly_… I'm not entirely sure how to feel right now.

Flattered? Well, of course I am. Being called the most beautiful girl someone's laid eyes on will do that. Oh dear… what should I wear? Do I even _have_ anything nice with me? I… oh God. Vanna's going to have a field day with this.

All right, Amber, just act natural. If you can't get the red out of your face, you can just say you decided to jog back. Yes, that's reasonable. Want to make sure I stay in shape, what with all the high-class meals Medici's been cooking lately. Assuring myself that I was acting normal, I walked into Edgewood camp grounds, where Vanna and Axel were spending some time training before finding a hotel.

"So who's the guy?" Vanna asked immediately. "Was he cute?"

_How did… _I sighed. "Never you mind," I said quickly. "Any progress?"

"See for yourself," Vanna said, pointing over to the section of woods Axel was training in. Gauntlet in hand, he threw Deathwing's Pokéball to the ground, the murderous Skarmory bursting out in a furious red light show. It Screeched at Axel, who immediately slammed the Pokéball onto the bird, forcing it back inside mere seconds after it had been released.

"It's been two and half hours now," Vanna noted "And that's not including all the time he spent _yesterday_ doing this. What does he think is going to happen?"

"He thinks that he's going to be able to _cure_ it," Medici observed. "Ridiculous, right? _It's pure evil,_ like trying to rehabilitate a zombie. There's just no point."

"You're probably right," I admitted, seeing Axel summon and return the Skarmory yet again. "Still… give him time. It does look he knows what he's doing, doesn't it?"

"It _always_ looks like he knows what he's doing," Vanna commented. "You of all people know how untrue that usually is."

"Yeah…" I nodded slowly, turning to Medici. "By the way, I needed to ask you something…"

"I've already gathered the extra ingredients, don't you worry," Medici assured me.

"Ok, I can see Vanna knowing, but how did _you_ know what I thinking?" I asked, a bit too loudly.

"I… can read minds. You do remember that, right? Because of the whole 'I'm not human' thing?" Medici floated upwards to my eye level, looking mockingly worried about my sanity. "In fact, I'm a bit surprised you _accept_ Vanna knowing about it in advance, seeing as she _can't."_

"He's got a point, Amber," Vanna nodded, clearly enjoying toying with me.

Normally, I wouldn't put up with this, or at the very least I'd cut them down to size. But… damn it, I just feel too good to be angry today.

Author's Note

First off, question time! This one comes from reader adventurerXD:

_ Are Death's Pokémon normal Pokémon that he took over/stole/raised/whatever evil villains feel like doing these days, or is he using Shadow Pokémon, like Cipher?_

Good question! Plus 453 points! What _are_ Death's Pokémon? That is a… good… question…

Basically, I can't tell you right now. You have inadvertently asked a question that would cause spoilers! It's ok! I know you didn't mean to! Just think of them as corrupted for now. It's true enough.

To make up for mentioning your question but not answering it, though, I'll answer another question that hasn't been asked yet! In a new segment I like to call:

_Ramblings of a Veteran Pokémon Master_

The specific question is one I'm sure you've thought about. Maybe.

_Thematically, why did you decide to make all Death-related eyes glow blue? Why not red, green, purple, or another more traditionally evil color?_

Well, sexy question asker, it all stems back to the time when Pokémon was young. One of the first episodes of the very first season of Pokémon was called 'Electric Soldier Porygon'. It is more commonly referred to today as 'That One Pokémon Episode That Gave A Bunch Of Kids Seizures.' It was a big deal back when I was first getting into Pokémon at… good God, was I really six back then? Oy. Some schools wouldn't allow Pokemon because of what happened. Crazy times.

But anyway, the event in the episode that caused the seizures was a sequence where Pikachu's eyes flashed a multitude of colors. The most prominent of which was, you guessed it, a pale, sickly blue. One of the kids who had a seizure was quoted saying: "the last thing I remember was Pikachu's light blue eyes burning in my retinas and in my soul, and then all turned to blackness". All right, they didn't say _exactly_ that because a) the kid was about ten and wouldn't have said it so eloquently and b) the episode was only aired in Japan and therefore the quote would have been in an entirely different language, _but the sentiment was there._

Long story short, the story has more symbolism then you might think? Plus 1000 points to the first person who can guess the origin of Axel's name!

Viva la feminism?


	23. Chapter 22: Bless Your Heart, Vanna

Disclaimer: I own Pokémon, or my name isn't John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt!

Unfortunately, my name… _isn't_ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt…

People still have that annoying habit of shouting my name whenever I go out, though.

**Chapter 22: Bless Your Heart, Vanna Albright**

**Skyler**

"About time you got back!" Lexi called out to me as I climbed up the mountain. "Chief wants to see us in her office, so hurry up!"

_You will pardon me, sweet Lexi, but I'm in a joyful daze_

_ One that simply can't be broken, even by your sternest gaze_

"What's with the poetry all of a sudden?" she asked, looking concerned and taking a few of the grocery bags from me. "And what, no hot licks that invariably rhyme my name with 'sexy'? I've almost started looking forward to those."

"Not up to it today, I'm afraid," I smiled. "Anyway, Chief Aggie wants to meet us? What does she want now?"

"Like _I_ know," Lexi shrugged. "We've been working here for years now, and have we _ever_ been able to anticipate what she wants?"

It was true. Some of the errands that the chief had us go on were just plain _weird._ Searching for a yellow Taurus, grinding bones of Stegosaurus, buying books from shops in _Jinford_, asking us to 'soul search inward'… we didn't understand how _any _of it advanced her research… but it always turned out being useful somehow. Though that book from all the way over in Jinford was just one that she'd always wanted to read.

As quirky and fun a boss as this makes her sound, it still isn't ever a good idea to keep her waiting, which is why Lexi and I ran at full speed until we reached the office door emblazoned with "Agatha: Head Researcher." I knocked on the door, relieved to hear a friendly 'come in!' as opposed to a rabidly barked _'Get in Here!'_ which… happened sometimes.

She smiled at us we took our seats across her mahogany desk, dressed in the green-tinted lab coat that had become her trademark. "Hello Skyler, Alexis. Glad to see you're both so prompt."

"What do you need, Doc?" Lexi grinned. "Need a Pokémon or two captured?"

"Even simpler than that, believe it or not," Aggie assured us. "I just need you to purchase a Fly HM for me as soon as possible. I believe a Bird Keeper over in Siderun is selling them for a reasonable price."

"Siderun?" I gulped. "That's like… two towns over, isn't it?"

"Yes," the doctor affirmed. "Why? Something wrong?"

"Well…" I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "I sort of… have plans for tomorrow night. And if we've got to travel over to Siderun…"

"Wait, you have _plans?_" Lexi interrupted. "What sort of plans could you possibly…" She paused. "You mean… as in… like… a date?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "I met this girl a the grocery store. Red hair, freckles, warm smile… sorry." I cleared my throat, returning to the conversation at hand. "How important is it that we do this as soon as possible, Doc?"

"Of the _utmost_ importance," Aggie responded. "We're working with a very small window of opportunity, Skyler. Preferably, I'd like you to leave first-thing tomorrow morning."

"If at all possible, Dr. Aggie… could we use the company balloon?"

She paused, mulling it over. "You know you're not technically certified to operate that, Skyler."

"But _you_ know that I know how to use it," I argued. "Tell you what, if you let me use the hot air balloon, I'll leave _tonight_, and won't sleep until I return with the HM. Sound fair?"

"That… oh, that's tempting, Skyler," Aggie admitted. "Oh… all right, fine. Don't say I never did anything for you." She turned to Lexi. "Alexis? I won't require you to go with him, since you really shouldn't have to change your schedule to accommodate him."

"Great!" Lexi shouted, getting up quickly. "I'm going to go to bed then. Good night, all. And try not to crash the balloon, Skyler; I'd imagine it would ruin your _big date _tomorrow_._" She strode out of the room, allowing the door to slam behind her.

I paused, looking after her for a moment, and turned back to Dr. Aggie. "Should I feel bad about that?" I asked, motioning to where Lexi was.

"I don't think so," Aggie said, shaking her head. "_Do _you feel bad about that?"

"Not particularly," I admitted, chuckling. "Just making sure I haven't gone callous, is all." I excused myself, heading for the door, but Dr. Aggie called me back.

"Wait, Skyler, sit back down for a minute," she said. I obeyed, sliding into the chair again. "So…" she began. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I assured her. "Just like I was fine _last _week, and the week _before _that, and…"

"Don't you _dare_ treat me like I'm just being a worrier," she said scoldingly, as if she were my mother. "We're not one-hundred percent certain of all the side effects treatment can have, and the _last_ thing I want on my conscience is…"

"Doc," I interrupted. "Doc, really, it's ok. I know you care, and I'm glad, but it's been _months_ now. If something bad was going to happen… it would have by now. We both know that."

"Don't remind me," she shuddered. "I think I would have quit research completely if you hadn't pulled through like you did."

"Don't talk like that," I said reassuringly. "What you're doing here is _ridiculously_ important, and I volunteered willingly. The only person at fault would have been me, for being so reckless. And hey, just between you and me…" I leaned across the desk, lowering my voice. "I'm starting to be able to control it. Could have been coincidence, but last week… _something_ happened."

She gasped. "You mean…"

"Yeah!" I said exuberantly. "So… mission accomplished, right?"

"Maybe," she said hesitantly. "Just don't push yourself, ok? And if you feel ill or weak at all afterwards, you stop _immediately_ and come tell me, understood?"

"Naturally," I said, rising from my chair. "Now, if you'll excuse me:"

_I'll soon make the ladies swoon_

_ Riding in my cool balloon_

She squinted at me judgmentally. " Not your best effort, Sky. That was a 5 at best."

"Ah… if only you'd heard my free styling from earlier… maybe when I get back, I'll tell you." I backed up towards the door, waved goodbye, and headed towards the balloon dock on the roof. Time to run another mindless errand!

**Detective Jenkins**

"I can't stress enough how this isn't just some mindless errand we're sending you on," I lectured. "This is a highly trained, dangerous criminal organization we're sending you in after, and you should treat it as seriously as you can."

"Question, Detective?" Amber said disapprovingly. "If this criminal organization is as dangerous as you say, why send Axel in to investigate? Isn't this a job for… I don't know… the _police?_"

I cringed as the truth stung like a six-hooked flail dipped in hot sauce. This hadn't been an easy decision for HQ to make, and somewhere in my gut I still knew it was a bad idea. Not that I could do much about it.

"The sad truth of it is…" I explained, "the regular police force has never been able to get anything solid on these people. From their vantage point, they can easily figure out our actions in advance, and hide whatever it is they're doing when we send someone up. And our efforts to send an officer up disguised as a Pokémon Trainer were… less than successful." I shuddered. Jenny had been a good cop. "The best thing we can hope for right now is for Axel to go up, do some training, and figure out a way inside without rousing any suspicion."

"You're putting him in a situation where his life depends on how secretive and discrete he can be?" The redhead scolded. "Really? You've _met_ Axel, right? You almost arrested him once?"

I breathed deeply, resisting the urge to tell her to just shut her pie hole and follow orders. I was beginning to understand what those lectures on civilian etiquette had been for. They weren't working, though.

"I'll be fine, Amber," Axel assured her, thankfully saving my voice from the strain. "Besides, if I'm going to be the whole… stereotypical hero… thing, I _have _to single-handedly tear apart large organized criminal groups with nothing but my Pokémon, right?"

"I don't think you should use one of Death's metaphors to justify your going in there, Axel," Vanna said, concerned. "I mean, that's just _begging_ for something bad to happen, right?"

"_Death is only human_," I reminded them quickly. The _last_ thing we needed was for someone to lose their nerve. "That being said, if you can deal with _his_ Pokémon, like I know you can, then you shouldn't have any trouble with the Pokémon that Team Musket will throw at you, if it comes to that."

"_That's_ their name?" Amber asked. "Team _Musket?_ Huh. Well, it's better than Team Aqua, I suppose."

"And minus the ludicrously ill-thought out goals, too," I noted. "They first caught our attention about a decade ago, when their aptly-named 'Musket Balls' started selling like hotcakes on the black market." I opened up the manila folder I was carrying, passing a picture of the small, black ball across the picnic table Axel's party sat at.

"They look kind of cool," Axel commented. "What's so bad about them?"

"You've never heard of a Musket Ball?" Vanna asked, shocked. "Their outer shells _explode_ on contact with Pokémon, allowing a trainer to weaken them without battling."

I nodded firmly. "Glad to see some of you are in the know. Not only did these balls violate every 'fair capture' law on the books, but a significant percentage of Pokémon outright _died_ when hit by one of these things. It was _chaos_ for a while." I shuddered again. "Every so often you'll see a batch pop up nowadays, but… thankfully, we've got them under control.

Only problem is, Team Musket didn't just stop there. Over the years, they've released a slew of black market products, all aimed at 'giving more power to the trainer'. Steroids laced with Machamp DNA, Bug-Type insecticide… they even had a glitchier version of that Snagger of yours out for a while. Didn't always work though, and occasionally trainers would straight up lose their arms." I whistled. "That little problem resolved itself pretty quickly, let me tell you."

"Oh… I see…" Axel said, gingerly removing the gauntlet from his arm. "And this place is where they produce all of those products?"

"I _wish_," I grunted. "We've been looking for the central distribution plant for _years_ now, never found a single clue. This is just one of their research facilities. Not as big as some of the other ones we know exist out there somewhere, but we still might be able to find _something _to help us bring the whole thing crashing down."

"And he _has_ to go alone? You can't send _anyone_ with him?" Amber had clearly decided not to let up. Annoying as hell, but admirable, I suppose.

"Look," I explained. "It's entirely under Axel's discretion whether he tries to get in or not. Even if he just _sees_ something while he's up there, it could be incredibly useful."

"You didn't answer my question," Amber pointed out.

"We can't attract attention, so no," I said firmly. "And that's HQ's _last say_ on the matter, and after that… we may never ask anything of you again." I eyed Axel. "But we have to have _some_ good reason to consider you an honorary member of the force, and since we're leaving the Death incident under wraps…" I paused, allowing everyone to finish the sentence themselves. Mostly because I'd forgotten where I was going with it.

"So just to be clear," Amber said. "Axel is going to go up there, _alone_, pretend to train Pokémon, and try to work his way into a criminal organization's base with absolutely no help from the outside whatsoever?" When she put it so bluntly, it really did sound like an awful idea. But I don't call the shots, even though I sometimes think I should.

"Will giving him a wire make you feel better?" I said, not quite keeping the yell from escaping my throat.

She smiled pedantically. "Of course! That will make _everything_ more acceptable in my eyes, Detective. In fact, now I can free up my mind and just prepare for my date tomorrow!"

"I was hoping you'd say that!" Vanna said quickly, grabbing her arm and dragging her away. "Come on! We need to get some shopping done before curfew!"

"No… wait!" Amber said as she was being dragged away. "I didn't… _I didn't mean it! You know very well I was being sarcastic!_" Ignoring her cries, the two girls were soon out of sight.

I sighed, allowing a smile to creep across my face, despite the grimness of the plan we were setting in motion. Bless your heart, Vanna Albright. If you weren't here, who knows how many cities that girl would have conquered by now?

Looking after them with confusion, Axel said: "Wait, she has a date tomorrow? When did that happen?"

Author's Note:

I've noticed that I update at the weirdest of times. Hey look! It's 2:30 am on a Saturday! Why am I still awake?

To this, I say, Red Bull really _does_ give you wiings. Though the Jack is probably a significant contributing factor as well.

To adventurerXD: good guess! But you're wrong, sorry. Axel is not, in fact, based off the Axel from Kingdom Hearts, though I won't deny that he's probably my second favorite character (the first being Roxas, of course). Though Xigbar is close… and Demyx! Hm… so many to choose from.

But back on task! A good number of the characters I've introduced, or that are going to be introduced somewhat soon, have a common naming theme. I won't tell you which characters, except for, well, Axel, who you already know is part of this. If you actually get it, you just might see the story in a whole new light!

Or not! Like I actually know what I'm doing. HA.

But anyway…

Viva la feminism?


	24. Chapter 23: A Siren

Disclaimer: I am so SO sorry that I don't own Pokémon. I know it's disappointing for a lot of you, and I just want you to know that I'm trying, really. Every day. But it's hard. I'm hoping maybe, with your support, I can gloriously overthrow Nintendo but, for now… I still don't own it. Keep the fires burning, my brethren. And sistren.

**Chapter 23: A Siren**

I don't care.

Why _should_ I care?

I shouldn't, which is good, because I _don't_.

… All right. I might care a little bit. But not for why you might think.

You see, while I was growing up, my father told me that any man worth his salt would first treat me like a person, then like a queen, then like a Greek goddess, and then like a person again. Skyler sort of skipped the first two when we first started working together. He'd shower me with compliments, spin a new freestyle almost once a week, and he started calling me by my last name 'Alexis' (shortened to Lexi when we became more familiar with each other) instead of my first name, Helen.

Knowing Skyler, it's probably because a lot more rhymes with 'Lexi' then Helen, though I like to think it's also because it sounds (to him) more Greek. To be honest, I kind of liked the change. Helen always seemed a bit stuffy and old-fashioned… even if it _was _the name of the most beautiful woman on earth once.

After Chief Aggie had let me go, I'd originally intended to go right to bed, maybe crying into my pillow a little. I don't know why. It was stupid because I didn't even _like_ Skyler that way, but I couldn't help but feel jealous. I don't know. It's stupid, and I know it's stupid, but he was never actually supposed to move on! Where does he get off seeing someone all of a sudden?

But like I said, I was _going_ to bed, but… well, things change I guess. And instead of staring at my alarm clock and trying to fall asleep, I ended up sitting out on top of the lab's roof, staring up at the moon. It wasn't full, but it was close, and it was bigger than it had been in a long time. Occasionally, I thought I saw Skyler coming back in the balloon… but it was just wishful thinking. I'd have to wait until morning to give him a piece of my mind, I suppose.

I ignored the flashes of light at first, because I was upset and honestly didn't care about what random trainers were doing so late at night on Mt. Harrow. The flashes kept going, though, at such a set pace that I started to become suspicious. Swinging my legs up, I crawled across the roof's edge, eventually setting eyes on a trainer with a green jacket and a black visor, with a Cyndaquil on his shoulder. Nearby, a Meditite sat strumming a guitar, and a Treecko sat meditating. Was he… training? It didn't seem like it.

Then he threw a Pokéball onto the ground, and I nearly screamed as a monstrous Skarmory burst out with a loud screech. It glared at the trainer, eyes full of malice, as he asked: "what is your name?"

The Skarmory responded with a loud Screech, and _holy crap, it charged its owner!_ The trainer slammed the bird over the head with its Pokéball, and the beast retracted inside forcefully. The trainer took a deep breath, collecting himself, and threw the Pokéball onto the ground again. As the Skarmory burst out again, the Trainer asked, slowly and clearly: "_what is your name?"_

The bird paused, eyes still full of malice, but wary. It was panting; clearly still wounded from whatever battle the trainer had gone through to acquire it, and was clearly thinking. It Screeched again, but didn't charge, and the trainer looked over at the Meditite.

"It said 'Deathwing'," the Meditite told him.

"_Wrong answer_," the trainer said with a sigh, smashing the Pokéball back into the steel giant, causing it to retreat once again into the sphere. The young man, clearly distraught, sat on the ground, cradling his head in one hand and sighing.

Poor guy. I didn't know what he was doing, but whatever it was it seemed important to him. I almost wish I could cheer him up. But doing so would reveal where I am, and where the lab is, and so there's no way I can...

"My name's Axel, by the way" he said after a moment's pause. "Any chance you could tell me your name, cute girl who's staring at me?"

I gasped, caught completely off guard. "How did you _do_ that?" I asked, impressed.

"_Ack!_" Axel yelled, jumping to his feet and whirling around, clearly as caught off guard as I was. His head darted around, looking for me, and I considered hiding... but didn't. Eventually, he looked up, and found me perched atop the roof. "Where did you come from?" he yelled, still not over the shock.

"I've been up here… and, wait, _you knew I was up here!_" I yelled, confused. "Why are_ you_ acting surprised?"

"It's never actually worked before," Axel said with an apologetic grin. "Sometimes, when I'm out training alone, I'll just kind of… say that. If no one's there, then whatever, but if someone _were _there." He smiled. "Totally awesome excuse to start chatting someone up, right? Sort of like Pixel's Wager… but applied for randomly meeting women."

"_Pascal's _Wager, PASCAL," the Meditite lectured his trainer. "Come on, Axel, it completely _blows_ the 'eccentric intellectual' angle if you botch the reference like that."

"But isn't my angle 'lovable idiot' anyway?" the trainer asked.

"_That's not the kind of thing you admit out loud!"_ The Meditite yelled.

This was _ridiculous. _The Treecko face palmed, which was really just the icing on the already deliciously ludicrous cake, and I burst out laughing, trying to get rid of whatever bad feelings I'd been having. It kind of worked, plus I had a feeling this wasn't the only laugh I'd be having with this 'Axel Jackson'. Jumping from the roof to a nearby tree, I slid down to the ground to join him.

The interesting thing was, aside from the scripted 'Pascal's wager' line at the very beginning, Axel never came on to me… directly, anyway. He talked freely and openly about his Pokémon, like how his Cyndaquil had been hand-raised by a childhood friend, and about… well, everything really. Every now and then I'd catch a look in his eye, or a smile that lingered a bit too long and I knew, with almost one hundred percent certainty, that he was interested in me… but I could never _prove_ it. It was almost frustrating and I found myself, without really thinking about it, leaning in towards him a bit too much or stretching my back out for no real reason.

I'm not normally like this, you understand. It just… felt right, somehow. Granted, I had a lot on my mind, and my head wasn't exactly working like it usually did, but even still… I'm sure some of my actions were sincere. He _was_ genuinely charming… for an idiot.

"So why is it that you're wandering through the woods alone, hoping a random girl passing by hears you, instead of enjoying the company of one your available travel companions?" I actually batted my eyes. What was I _doing?_

"Ah… well, hm," Axel said, looking down. "Well, as far as Vanna is concerned, I get the feeling she's just looking for a good time. Not that there's anything _wrong_ with that… I mean, I'm guilty of it myself… ah… but it's not something you get into with someone you then have to see tomorrow and the next day and…" He shook his head. "I'm sure you understand."

"Better than you might think," I nodded, smiling slightly. "And Amber? Same reason?"

"Well… yes and no," Axel fumbled. "We're complicated. We've known each other since we were kids and… well, we've tried before. It didn't go well." I listened attentively, waiting for him to continue. He blushed, scratching at the back of his head in an embarrassed motion. "I'm sorry, I really… I really shouldn't talk about it…"

"No, no!" I comforted. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried. It was pretty rude of me, actually."

"Ah, c'mon…" Axel chided. "I'm sure you couldn't be rude if you tried."

"I _so_ could!"

"All right, then," he laughed. "Go ahead. Try."

I mustered up the reserves of the sorrow I felt from Skyler's… whatever, letting it loose in a single, caustic remark: "_You're a big… stupid… dumb… jerk… _handsome face."

"Why thank you!" Axel laughed. "How nice of you to say such a thing."

"Oh… be quiet," I pouted. "I can _so_ be rude if I want to."

"Well, be my guest," Axel invited. "I've got all night, and I've got nothing better…"

Before he could finish, I kissed him. Taken by surprise, his jaws continued to move, trying to complete his last sentence for the briefest of moments, before relaxing and matching my motion, gently cradling the back of my head in his hand as he did so.

I'd like to think that, had circumstance not been what they were, I still would have done it, but I'll never be sure. All I knew was that here, right now, he tasted like lemonade and his arms felt strong and steady as they held me and the fire in my chest was burning hotter than it had in a long time, and it replaced the cold sorrow from earlier almost completely.

After what could have been an hour, I finally broke away from him, shooting him a coy smile. "Well? Was that rude enough of an interruption for you?"

"I… uh… I didn't actually hear it," Axel replied. "You might want to say it again, just so I can… ah… judge its rudeness properly."

I smiled. "Well… if you insist," I said, walking two fingers up his chest. "But we should probably go somewhere a little more… private, right?"

"Everyone, return," Axel said immediately, and the three Pokémon contracted into their Pokéballs. I took him by the hand and, not caring about how it would look tomorrow, took him around back to the lab's secret entrance. It was closer to my room.

"Why does your lab hide a secret entrance in a _large, dead oak tree with three medium sized branches on it?_" Axel wondered aloud.

"For security," I explained. "Some of the more cutting-edge research is done in this area, and we don't want any rival scientific teams making off with our findings."

"Oh, I see, it's to _hide the sensitive research area_," he repeated. "Cool."

After typing a few numbers into a hidden keypad, the bottom of the tree (that we'd now squeezed inside) dropped out, and a lift took us underground to the living quarters/sensitive materials section. Two of my coworkers were standing near the lift when it reached the bottom, and I tried to ignore their snickering as I grabbed Axel and pulled him along the steel-lined hallways. What did they know, anyway?

"There's cameras _everywhere_," Axel noted, suddenly insisting on describing everything he saw. "And I take it that the _large ventilation system_ is for making sure you all have enough air down here _underground_?"

"Yes, very good Axel, stop talking," I shushed. Rushing him past Aggie's office as fast as humanly possible. After what seemed like _ages_ of sneaking around and avoiding classified areas (which Axel, for some reason, felt compelled to describe), we finally reached my room. Before Axel could comment on what the living quarters hall looked like, I shoved him in through the door, shutting it quickly behind me and locked it firmly behind me.

I kissed him more desperately this time, and he responded as passionately as I could hope for, even lifting me off my feet at one point to bring me crashing down on to my bed. I broke away, chuckling, and ripped his jacket off, quickly making my way to his shirt.

"Um… wait," he stuttered quickly as I began to unbutton it. "Maybe I could leave my shirt on? I'm not comfortable with…"

"How could _you_ not be comfortable with… oh…" I smiled playfully, holding a small cord gingerly in my fingertips. "And what do we have here? Is this… a _recorder?_"

"Too kinky?" Axel asked, desperately searching for an excuse. "Sorry. I can turn it off if you're not into…"

"You really think I'm _this_ easy and stupid?" I spat, pressing the metal barrel of my hidden Glock to his temple. "You're pathetic. Now sit down, shut up, and put your hands over your head. And if you even _think_ of reaching for a Pokéball, I _will_ blow your brains out."

Sometimes, I actually have to agree with Skyler. It _is_ nice to be absolutely flawless.

Author's Note:

First things first, we have a question! And its from adventurerXD again. Is anyone else even _trying_ to earn points? Learn from Ms. XD! Anyway, her question was:

_When Gardevoir said she cant talk because it hurts, what did she mean by that? Theoretically? Physically?_

That's a good question! A good…question… in… deed…

Um. I hate to say this, but this is another question I can't answer because of spoilers. You have a very good knack for picking up on intentionally untied plot threads, Ms. XD. In fact, I can't even hint at this one. Sorry.

But it's ok! Because it's now time for another segment of:

_Ramblings of a Veteran Pokémon Master_

A lot of you probably already understand why Axel's gauntlet is called the BBUTTON. I've hinted that it's a pun before, but I realized that some of the very young among you might not fully understand/remember why it's relevant to Pokémon. So I figure, why not?

When Red, Blue, and Yellow first came out, there was a lot of competition amongst us first graders to figure out the best way to catch Pokémon. Alternating the kind of balls you threw, varying status effects, that sort of stuff. I was even given a cardboard medal for being the first and only person in recorded history (at the time) to catch Mewtwo without using the Master Ball. I never _did_ tell them the only reason I did that was because I used the Master Ball on Zapdos and was stupid enough to save right afterwards.

But back on task. The most prominent and seemingly legitimate rumor passed around both in social circles _and_ online (which was a big deal back then) was that if you held down the B Button on your Gameboy after the Pokéball had wiggled twice, it would automatically catch any Pokémon. Attempts at disproving this were futile, since people who failed simply 'hadn't gotten the timing right'. I don't know why, but up until I stopped playing Pokémon at Sapphire, I _always_ held the B button in, no matter what. As long as you didn't let go, the Pokémon was _guaranteed_ to be caught! What more could you ask for? Part of me still thinks this is the only reason I was able to catch that Mewtwo.

But anyway: now you know!

And also…

Viva la feminism?


	25. Chapter 24: The Best Laid Plans

_Drop the beats!_

MAGNE/ZONEMAG/AGZON/EMAG

_Yeah that's right. Break it down Skyler!_

MAZON/NEMAG/AGNE/ONMA _YEEEEEEEEEEAH_

_You know there's nothing lamer_

_Than an ill-thought out disclaimer_

_Man, there's nothing to else blame for_

_How much it blazes your name, herb_

_Don't try the same old same old_

_With me. Don't play that game or_

_I'll just straight up go and brain you_

_With an_

I DON'T OWN POKÉMON, BITCH

_Don't have a fit or try to go back and switch_

_Because there's no way you can fix_

_This claim of lack of ownership_

_So shut up, sit down, and enjoy the show_

_Or I'll have to force you to with a 'Pokéball Go!'_

**Chapter 24: The Best Laid Plans…**

**A Few Hours Earlier**

As Skyler left, after repeated assurances that everything was fine, I couldn't help but smile. He was a nice boy… always had been, ever since I'd first brought him into the team. I even caught myself wishing that he wasn't so special; so that he wouldn't even be eligible for the treatments we were giving him. Thank God he was strong.

I sighed, shaking the worry out of my head. There were more important things to be worrying about now. I pushed the button on my desk's intercom: "Ms. Alexis? He's gone. You're free to come back in now."

If Helen were positioned anywhere else, she'd be an Admin by now, no questions asked. But this was a research lab, and she just wasn't as scientifically inclined as the rest of us. I'd suggested transfer to her, but she'd always turned it down. And of _course_ it had nothing to do with Skyler; that would just be silly.

"What do you need, Chief Aggie?" Ms. Alexis repeated, a knowing smile playing across her face. "And for real this time."

"I'll have you know I really _do_ need that Fly HM," I corrected her quickly. "But I'll admit it _does_ serve as quite a convenient excuse for sending him away, doesn't it?"

"I never understood that," she said questioningly. "He's a big boy, you know. Best Pokémon trainer we've got. Why leave him out of this?"

"Because…" I paused. I could tell the truth, that Skyler, bless his heart, still believed that what we did here was purely for the good of humanity and didn't hurt anyone in the process (other than him). But how would that look, the head researcher making important decisions based on a fundamentally inconsequential personal feeling?

"You can't tell anyone this," I said, lowering my voice. "But recently, Skyler's treatment… it's begun to work." There was no hard evidence for this of course, but if Skyler was to be believed this _wasn't_ strictly a lie. "If we put him in a situation with too much stress, he might go overboard. Best-case scenario: he does something that gets us national attention. Worst-case…" I paused, shuddering. "You don't even want to think about it, Ms. Alexis."

"Fair enough, I suppose," she yawned, stretching out her back. "Now then, what's the job this time?"

"Listen to this," I said, pressing a button my desk's intercom:

_So just to be clear, Axel is going to go up there, alone, pretend to train Pokémon, and try to work his way into a criminal organization's base with absolutely no help from the outside whatsoever?_ Came a young female voice.

_ Will giving him a wire make you feel better? _ A deep, gravelly male voice replied.

I shut the recorder off. There wasn't much more of the conversation left anyway, and Helen had heard enough to know what she was supposed to do anyway.

"I see," she said, nodding. "Now then, how did you want it done?" She pulled out her favorite Glock, admiring it. "Long distance, short distance? Should it look like an 'accident', or should we use him to send a message?"

"None of the above, Ms. Alexis," I said firmly. "I need him alive. Run a Siren on him, I have it from good sources that he's particularly weak when it comes to young women like yourself."

"He _is_ a teenage guy, what do you expect?" she scoffed, rising our of her chair slowly. "I'll have him here in two hours, maybe three depending on how slow he moves."

"Take your time and be careful, Helen, there's no need to rush things," I advised.

"_Be careful?_ Boss, I…"

"Now you sound like Skyler," I interrupted. "I mean it, Alexis. Axel Jackson's not to be taken lightly, understood?"

Helen frowned, probably taken aback by my sudden change in tone. "Why so serious?" She asked. "I've done this more times than I can count, Boss. What's so special about _him_?"

"Listen," I commanded, pressing another button on my recorder.

_Death is only human,_ the gruff voice said again. _That being said, if you can deal with _his_ Pokémon, like I know you can, then you shouldn't have any trouble with the Pokémon that Team Musket will throw at you, if it comes to that._

I clicked it off. Alexis pondered for a minute, and her eyes widened suddenly with realization. "You think… Deathwing?"

"Not only Deathwing," I said. "Axel Jackson's also supposedly the trainer who handled the Cliffkiln attack. Where Death's Dragonite was beaten to a pulp?" I nodded. "Even if it wasn't actually him, the fact that there are rumors flying around suggesting such is a testament to his strength. So as I said, Ms. Alexis; don't take him lightly."

"You got it, Chief," Helen nodded, curtsying in respect before setting off.

I sighed, idly wondering how it had come to this. Believe me, Mr. Jackson, it's nothing personal… I just have to know.

**Current Time**

** "**_Get in!_" I heard Helen yell, and before I had time to prepare myself a young man, handcuffed and bruised, was thrown headfirst through the door to my office.

"Ow…" the man (Axel, naturally) groaned, standing up slowly. "You know, it might seem weird to want to record it, but I'm thinking _this_ is a much odder thing to get turned on by, you know?"

Ms. Alexis, who had walked in behind him, chuckled, and then smacked Axel square in the back with the butt of her Glock, causing him to buckle and nearly fall again. "That's what I've never liked about these siren missions," she explained. "A guy get caught in enemy territory and all of a sudden he starts throwing out quips like he's James Bond." She leaned in towards Axel, stroking his chin pedantically. "You're not James Bond, silly man. You know that, right?"

"I've been jostled around enough today, I might have forgotten," Axel smiled. "Thanks for reminding me."

I winced as Helen smacked him across the face, causing him to fa… never mind, he's still standing. Ms. Alexis, though quite good at concealing her true emotions, betrayed a bit of shock in her eyes as well.

"I get smacked around all the _time_ by my best friend," Axel explained. "I could do this all day. Not that I'm asking for that, of course." He cocked his head, looking at Ms. Alexis inquisitively. "Unless… I mean, if you're into that, I _suppose_ I could…"

Another smack. I should stop this. "Mr. Jackson," I addressed him. "While your attempts to stick to your cover are… admirable, we already know that it's a wire, not a recorder." I pressed a button, playing the recording of his mission briefing for him.

"Ah…" Axel said, realization sweeping over his face. "You… you heard that, huh?"

"Every word," Alexis affirmed. "Got any smart remarks now?"

"I _never_ have any smart remarks. Loveable idiot, remember?" He said, forcing a smile. "Though for what it's worth, I should mention that I actually _do_ find you attractive. It was only _partially_ a ploy to work my way in here."

That caught her off guard, and I fought the urge to smile as I watched her squirm. "Well…" she sputtered. "Thank you," she said. "I guess I… well…" she curtsied in my direction. "I'll head out then, boss. Tell if you need anything."

"Will do, Ms. Alexis. Good work as usual." And with that, she left.

I looked Axel over, trying to guess what he was thinking. "You're very good, by the way," I complemented. "Knowing exactly what to say to get her to leave and what not."

"Thank you," Axel said, bowing slightly. "But it's not really like that. I just like making good first impressions. It's one of the few things I actually know how to do."

"And in order to make good first impressions…" I prompted.

"You have to… I guess… get into their heads a little, yeah," he admitted, blushing. "But don't begrudge me it… like I said, it's one of the few things I actually know how to do."

"I doubt that somehow, Mr. Jackson," I said, standing up to my full height of 6' 4" to seem more imposing. "I think you know how to do quite a good deal of things… you just haven't figure out how yet."

"Uh… what?" he asked. "Was I supposed to understand that?"

"I can talk to you intelligently about Pokémon, yes Mr. Jackson?"

"Probably, yeah," the trainer nodded. "I read a lot of research papers when it comes to that. Particularly Redwood."

"Then I'm certain you know who _LUPHA_ is?"  
"You mean Mew?"

I paused, smiling. "Very good, Mr. Jackson; but not quite. You see, while many researchers in the field of Pokémon _believe_ that Mew is the Last Universal Pokémon-Human Ancestor, we've never been able to prove it. The phylogenic tree isn't nearly as strong as we'd like, and well… as you can imagine, we've never gotten a genome sample from Mew to test."

"Right, right, I knew that," Axel nodded. "But still… isn't that kind of a random question to ask someone who you caught trying to sneak into your lab?"

"If we were just trying to prevent you from finding anything out, you'd be dead already Mr. Jackson," I said coldly, meriting a very loud gulp from Axel. "Keep that in mind, will you? Because what I'm about to ask you next may very well determine how long you _keep_ living."

"Listening," Axel replied nervously.

"Good," I said, clasping him on the shoulder. "Now then, Mr. Jackson. Do you happen to know if you're In Touch?"

**Toto, Earlier**

"_Just looking for a good time? REALLY? _I'll kill him, I really will," Vanna grumbled as she listened in on the other end of Axel's wire.

"At least he's not telling some random girl about your personal history," Amber pouted childishly. "I mean Axel, come on… discretion, please. I've taught you what the word means, I'm sure of it."

I honestly didn't understand why they were so worried about the things Axel said, as opposed to holding their breaths that he'd come back all right. Am I the _only_ one who understands that if he dies up there, he dies _in real life?_ Besides, the 'lonely boy with relationship problems' angle, which is the only one we'd agreed Axel could successfully pull off, requires heartfelt emotion behind it! And he's not saying anything _terrible_, so suck it up and stop whining! God.

If we should feel bad for anyone, it's this Alexis girl, who seems nice enough. It's just not Axel to string her along like this for an ulterior motive, but we've got to do what we've got to do, I guess. He's doing so well, I wouldn't be surprised if he actually cared about this girl a little bit.

You might say I'm just trying to justify Axel, since he's the only human being I know that I think deserves the oxygen he consumes. You might be right, but I'm sure we _both_ realize by now that he's the good guy here.

"Large dead oak tree with three mid-sized branches," Detective Jenkins jotted down as Axel… ahem… _discretely_ revealed the hidden entrance to the complex. "That's all I need. Part B is a go. I'll head up as back up, just in case. You stay here, and if anything goes south, call it in on my radio." He looked at us all sternly. "Do _not_ attempt to take any actions on your own, under _any_ circumstances, understand? It's bad enough we're risking one innocent civilian up there." Right. Because we're stupid enough to raid a criminal base on a whim. That's a very flattering view of our intellect you have there, detective.

If it were Axel's intellect we were talking about here, then I'd be a bit more inclined to let it go. He _is_ the one who is currently describing the interior of the lab as _loudly as possible_… and somehow getting away with it. Perhaps he's just that good at making people like him?

Ah… perhaps. Those kissing sounds… are quite loud. And was that… _was that a bed squeaking?_

"No way," Vanna said, shaking her head in shock. "Here, _now_, of all places, he _still_…?"

"He's unplugged his wire," Amber noted with a sigh. "So knowing him… yeah. If we don't hear from him an hour, though, we should probably call it in."

"At least the Detective's up there anyway, just in case it is…" she paused, retracing the conversation back to what Amber said. "An… an hour?"

"_Why is this the only thing you think of?"_ Amber screeched.

As their bickering continued, I shook my head, disgusted. _So human_ the friendly voice commented, as it did sometimes. _Don't you tire of it?_

"More than you know," I responded. "But I'm still not leaving, regardless of _what_ you say. I could care less about Amber, but I actually want to see Axel through all of this."

_If you're concerned with the boy's well being, why not go up and check on him? Make sure he's not in trouble?_

I thought for a moment. It seemed a bit odd that we all had just assumed Axel had _willingly_ turned off his wire. What if… But that detective said…

No. _Screw_ what that human said. I don't need to follow his orders; I'm a _Pokémon._ A superior species! Nodding to myself, assuring myself that I was right in my actions, I slipped out of the room, unnoticed by the humans who never cared about my presence anyway.

Author's Note

So… many… threads… I believe that the thread count of this story is so high that it would make the best blanket _ever_. Woo! A Martha Stewart/Joann Etc. joke! … I'm a guy, I swear.

Anywho, sorry this is both short and a bit late. It's finals week, and I'm actually surprised I found the time to do this. Procrastination truly is the greatest creative force in the universe, right? Am I right? … I'm going to fail.

Viva la feminism?

P.S.: I broke the limit for storing documents on the site with just this story! WHAT?


	26. Chapter 25: Of Lab Rats and Women

Disclaimer: If Pokémon's ownership were determined by how many hours of one's life that one has spent on the subject, than yes, I probably _would_ own it. (Approximately two years of my childhood hold no memories other than a game boy with fantastic beasts flashing across it).

It's not determined that way, though, so I don't. Ah well. Win some, lose some.

**Chapter 25: Of Lab Rats and Women**

**Skyler**

Siderun's not a bad little town, though it is a bit lacking in the… um… ' having anything to do' department. There's nothing going on is basically what I'm saying here. The Bird Catcher who was selling the Fly HMs was operating out of a barn… a very well kept barn, but… a barn. Not exactly in the safest part of town either, though that seems a bit silly to say with Death running around.

You might think that's unfair to say, since I don't spend a decent amount of time in Siderun. But I _did_ see a trainer getting mugged at knifepoint in an alley, so I think it's ok to say… not the safest place. Normally, I would have tried to ignore it… I'm not a hero, so I don't enjoy throwing myself into situations where I could be killed, but this time… I don't know. He was a little blonde kid, clearly out training far under the allowed age limit, and... Again, I don't even know.

"Hey!" I yelled at the dark-clothed man with the knife, causing him to whip around quickly. "Leave the kid alone, or things are going to get ugly."

"Why? You gonna bring out another picture of your face?" the man spat, edging the knife closer to the young boy.

I laughed. "I'm absolutely flawless and you _know_ _it_ random bad guy I've never met before." My hands moved to my belt quickly, pulling out Tangela's Pokéball. "Tangela! Get out there and put this guy under wraps, alright?"

The Pokéball clunked to the ground, rolling a ways, but not opening. As I stared stupidly at the ball, I heard a laugh come from further back in the alley, and… ah damn it. Two more guys came out, carrying a small machine that I knew all too well.

"You're not gonna be able t' use any of yer preshis Pokemans long as _this_ thing's up," one of them spat. "It…"

"A Portable Musket Frequency Emitting Device," I finished for him, not wanting to hear the name butchered. "Yeah. I know. So you guys aren't just small time, huh? Or maybe you're trying to work your way up the crooked ladder?" I cracked my knuckles, trying to seem intimidating as I mentally went through my options. Do I fight? Try to switch out? Use an item? Run for it? Any other day, I probably would have gone for the last one, but… I'd sort of evolved recently, and was itching to try out my new move set.

First, the guy with the knife. Using speed that I definitely hadn't been born with, I flung myself through the air, bouncing off the alley wall before slamming into his face with the back end of my foot. He hurtled across the alley, his head cracking against the opposite wall and knocking him out cold. I smiled. "Acrobatics… check… though that probably would have done more if he hadn't been holding an item," I noted.

The other two thugs began freaking out. One began to draw a gun, but the other one (the stupid one), threw a smoke bomb down, hoping to escape to… where, exactly? It didn't matter how much Smokescreen he cooked up, however. I'd already seen him. Focusing, drawing on senses that I'd long forgotten, I felt my body hurtle across the alley, landing a sharp blow to his jaw with my elbow. A perfectly executed Aerial Ace, thank you very much.

This, of course, put me right next to the guy with the pistol. He pointed it directly at my head, but I wasn't worried. One Pluck later, and I was the guy holding the gun. In my mouth, yes… but it's easy enough to take it out and put in my hand. "Get out of here _now_," I said threateningly. "Before I bring down a Hurricane on you." A blast of cold wind shot down the alley, emphasizing my point all too well.

I should point out: I didn't actually know how to use Hurricane. That gust of wind was just _really_ well timed. Two words: _Absolutely. Flawless._

The guy got the_ hell_ out of dodge as quickly as possible. I smiled, chucked the gun in the dumpster, and kneeled down to the PMFED, smashing it to pieces with a well places Acrobatics session. Tangela launched out of her Pokéball almost immediately, raring to go, and I smiled, rustling her vines gently. "Not today, girl. Sorry to get you all worked up."

I strode over to the kid, now struck with absolute awe (or so I'd like to think), and asked: "you ok?"

"Uh… y-yeah," he stuttered, brushing himself off (even though he wasn't dirty). "Thanks a lot, mister. I thought they were going to take my Pokémon for sure!"

"Well, you shouldn't be out training this late," I lectured. "Actually, scratch that, you're what, ten? Eleven? You shouldn't be out training _at all._ What gives?"

"Um… I…" he looked away. "I'm sort of on a mission."

"Aren't we all, these days?" I chuckled. "And what sort of mission is this that you get to break the law?"

"I'm…" he paused. "You've got to promise not to laugh." I promised, and he sighed, still not looking me in the eye. "I'm going to be the one to get Death! I'm going to find him, and I'm going to beat him, and then I'm going to make him pay!"

Ah boy. It finally happened. I'd been hoping to go through life not having to talk down someone out for revenge on Death… unfortunately, there's too many of those people to count. How did I prepare myself to deal with this again?

"Ok, look kid," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting. "This isn't Dirty Harry, or For a Few Dollars More or… any movie starring Clint Eastwood, actually. You're not going to be able to get the bad guy at the end after holding a grudge for years on end. Death's… kind of above that. You're just going to get yourself killed."

"You don't know what he did," he said, surprisingly calm. "He practically leveled my entire town. I couldn't do anything." His lip began to tremble, but only slightly, I'll give him that. "I just had to sit and watch Axel take care of everything." He took my hand off his shoulder. "I'm going to make the world better, so that we don't have to be afraid any more! I'm trying to put a team together…" He smiled. "You seem strong, Mister. You want to join?"

"I'm already part of a team, buddy," I said smiling. "But thanks. I suppose there's nothing I can say to make you go home, huh?" He shook his head firmly, and I sighed. "Well then… at least take this with you, all right?" I rustled through my bag, pulling out one of the Musket Balls I kept, just in case. "Now listen to me. This is a _very dangerous_ item, understood? It's _only_ to be used for self-defense, like if you're in danger of being killed by a Pokémon, all right?" I set it in his hand. "If I find out you used this just to catch something more easily, there _will_ be consequences, understood?"

The kid nodded. "Thanks a lot, mister. I won't let you down!"

I nodded as well, feeling good, and checked my watch.

_ACK! Past midnight already?_ If I don't get back soon, I won't be able to get _any_ sleep before my date with Amber tomorrow!

**Chief Aggie **

"In… touch?" Axel asked, giving me the blankest stare I'd ever seen. "I  
thought I was keeping up pretty well but… you've lost me, I'm sorry."

"I suppose there's only a few of us who actually use that term," I said apologetically. "Perhaps you've heard of 'Throwbacks'? There was quite a big story last June about one of them."

The look on his face went from complete loss to careful contemplation, as he wracked his head for the memory. "That _does_ ring a Chingling..." he comment. "But… where have I heard that before?"

"I'll give you a hint," I said. "Some could very well say that she was born in a stable."

"_Growlithe Girl!_" he said suddenly, face lighting up in sudden memory. "That girl who accidentally injected herself with a Flamethrower TM while tending one of her family's Ponyta! And then started breathing fire everywhere. I remember that; that was cool."  
"It wasn't _quite_ like that, but basically," I confirmed. "Normally, accidental injection doesn't do a thing to people. But 'Growlithe Girl's' genetic structure was similar enough to a Pokémon's that her body began to alter her genes' expression to allow her to use the move. Quite frightening, actually. Apparently, she went into a coma for weeks, almost died once or twice."

"Right… that part wasn't so cool," Axel said quickly. "You… you want to see if _I'm_ like that? Wasn't she a really rare case? I mean, they didn't call her a genetic throwback for nothing."

"Well, we believe throwback to be a bit of misnomer, Mr. Jackson," I explained, sliding open a metal door at the back of my office and instructing him to follow. "Our research here has led us to believe that Pokémon and humans aren't as far separated as was once thought. In addition, the two species have lived alongside each other for so long that they've started taking on each other's qualities."

"So you read Redwood too!" Axel said excitedly. "Ah, that's great! We've got more in common then I thought. We should spend the rest of the day talking about the anthromorphization of Pokémon and not killing me!"

I stopped, turning around to stare at the boy and to wipe some sweat off my brow (it was getting hotter. No doubt someone messing with the thermostat because of 'how cold' it is.) "You honestly thought that would work, didn't you?"

"I had to try," he shrugged. "I kind of like living, you know."

"We're not monsters, Mr. Jackson," I assured him, opening the door at the end of the hallway. "As long as you cooperate, we're more than happy to let you go on your way."

"Really? I get to live and stuff?"

"Of course," I repeated. "It's actually in my interest to let you go... my bookie currently has the odds of you clinching the Pokémon league at 200 to 1, and I've got a feeling a sizeable wager on you would put me in _very_ good position to retire early."

"_WHAT?_" he yelled suddenly, showing anger that I hadn't thought possible from him. "_200 to 1? That's it?"_ He hung his head, possibly in shame. "I thought, ok, maybe since I'm late starting in the game I'll be at 80 to 1, or 100 to 1, but… 200… ugh." He shivered. "I _knew_ I needed to train another year…"

"Mr. Jackson…" I comforted, "the average trainer who only has one badge this late in the competition has a rate of 400 to 1, sometimes 500. You've been noticed, don't worry."

At this point, we had reached my main research area. Several steel metal tables were scattered across the white tile floor, many of them holding the cages where I still kept a majority of the first rats we'd used to test on.

Axel's eyes widened. "Did that rat just use Thunderbolt?" He asked, voice shaking.

"Hm? Oh yes, that's Sparky." I explained. "He was one the first organisms we successfully introduced a trans-species TM on. Though my favorite still has to be Frosty." I brought Axel's attention to the snow-white lab rat, glass holding pen lined with ice from repeated Blizzard uses.

"So… you've made TMs _specifically for other species _then? Including humans, I'd assume."

"Of course," I said, pulling a syringe out of a nearby drawer. "We don't want everyone to go through a coma and grow fangs in order to learn new moves, now do we?"

"But those fangs look _so cute_ on Growlithe Girl!" Axel mused. "I honestly wouldn't mind if _OW!"_

"Try to hold still, will you Mr. Jackson?" I commanded as I drew blood from his arm. "It'll be all the less painful for both of us. "

"You could have at least _warned_ me," Axel complained.

"And have you tense up, messing with the results? No thank you, Mr. Jackson. We need to be as accurate as possible when sequencing your genome; don't want to miss any Pokémon homologs."

"Hold up… You're going to make me wait here while you _sequence my genome?"_ Axel groaned. "Doesn't that take _weeks? Months?"_

"We'll have it done in little more than an hour, Mr. Jackson," I said. "You don't keep up to date with _non-Pokémon_ scientific papers, do you?"

"I… don't tend to keep up to date with non-Pokémon anything, to be honest," Axel blushed. At least, it looked like a blush at first, until he struggled to wipe the sweat from his brow with his handcuffs still on. "It's getting hot in here, isn't it?"

"It _is…_" I agreed. "I'll need to talk with someone upstairs, it's not _nearly_ cold enough outside to warrant this kind of heating expenditure."

"I could bring out my Meditite and have him run up and tell someone about it," Axel offered.

"… Still trying? Really, Mr. Jackson?"

"_Again. I like living."_ Axel stressed. "Now, is that all? Can I just kind of… sit and wait now?"

"Well, there's one more thing," I said, already preparing for the backlash I knew was coming. "We need you to hand over the BBUTTON."

Axel's eyes widened in shock, but he didn't yell like I'd expected. "I… I can't give you that, I'm sorry."

"You don't get to kindly ask me not to take it from you," I lectured him. "That's not how stealing _works_, Mr. Jackson."

"Ok, listen," he tried to argue. "I've been pretty cooperative so far, you know? I haven't _seriously_ tried escaping or sending signals to the police or _anything_, partially because I was kind of interested to see what you wanted." He leered at me. "But if you try taking the BBUTTON, I don't _care_ if you're a friendly fifty year old lady. I'll take you down. You made the mistake of not tying my legs up too." He lashed out with a roundhouse kick, just to emphasize his point.

"I was afraid you'd do something like that," I said, pressing a button on a nearby intercom. "Sweetie? Could you come in and restrain Mr. Jackson please?"

"Absolutely, dear," my husband's gravelly voice responded.

I didn't think Axel had the capacity to go so pale.

**Toto**

Climbing Mt. Harrow was a lot harder than I'd thought it would be. The civilian walking paths for scaling it are _clearly_ meant to accommodate humans more than Pokémon, and several times where a step that was supposed to make climbing easier only served as a place where I had to heave my body over it like a stupid human getting out of a pool. I mean; I can only rely on Superpower so much before completely run out of steam, you know! Needless to say, it wasn't exactly dignified, and I was glad that there wasn't anyone else out on the trail so late at night.

_Anytime you want my help, just ask_ the friendly voice rang inside my head. _Though you know I'll want something in return._

"No thanks," I said aloud. "I've got it, really." Even though the voice had never been anything but nice to me, I was still a bit wary of it. It might have taken me a bit longer than it could have, but at least I could take comfort in knowing I could make it up to the Team Musket hideout without selling my soul to the courteous, nice, and supportive… why am I fighting this again? Instinct, I guess, which is enough for me: it's one of the reasons we Pokémon have an edge over humans.

I rested, catching my breath, but couldn't rest long. Voices were coming from behind me, and using the last burst of energy I had left I dove into a nearby bush. Why aren't there any berries? I could really go for a berry right now. And look! I didn't even have to worry; it's Amber and Vanna, who never pay attention to me anyway. Tired as I was, I couldn't avoid listening to them even if I'd _wanted_ to.

"I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with this," Amber said nervously, as she hid behind a tree. "Detective Jenkins did say…"

"Oh buck _up,_" Vanna chided her. "Aren't you the _strong-willed feminine_ type, or is that only when Axel's around?"

"Hey!" Amber yelled, flinching immediately (she clearly hadn't expected to be so loud). "That was pretty uncalled for. And look who's talking, at least I don't throw myself at every man see," she continued in a whisper. I sighed. _Humans._ Even though they'd finally decided to try and do something useful, they still couldn't get over themselves.

"I _knew_ you'd bring that up," Vanna countered. "And you know, you wouldn't have to constantly peel me away from Axel if you'd just _get on with it_ with him already. Once it's official, I _won't mind_ stopping."

"Axel and I aren't like that and you _know _it!"

"Then what's the problem?" Vanna asked bitingly. "If you're not interested, then why the _hell_ do you have such a problem with me going there?"

"I just… Axel's _very _trusting and impressionable," Amber explained. "And I don't want…" she stopped. I knew what she was thinking, and I could see _exactly_ where this was heading, and I'd be damned if I stopped watching now.

"You don't want _what?"_ Vanna asked, almost seething with rising anger.

Amber was silent for a moment, and then, all at once, took a large step forward, standing directly in Vanna's face. "I don't want him to end up getting his heart broken by a _tramp_ like you." It was out. If I'd felt any desire to protect Amber from harm, I probably would have come out of hiding at this point.

Vanna slapped my trainer, a fitting reversal of the norm. Amber was flustered for a moment, but responded likewise. Formalities completely breaking down, the two quickly pulled each other to the ground, grasping, scratching, name-calling… you know. What humans do.

_In what world is it acceptable for such sentimental beasts to wield power over creatures like you?_ The friendly voice whispered in my mind.

"None," I spat, pulling myself up and continuing towards the hideout. I had no desire to continue watching; knowing that no matter who emerged victorious, nothing would change.

Author's Note:

In a _very_ drastic change of tone: _would you look at that?_ It's Christmahannukwanzcemberween already! You know what that means!

Actually, come to think of it, you don't know what that means. I'll tell you, though, so don't worry. It means that it's time, once again, for the first ever Shattered Illusion Christmas party! (That sentence… it does make logical sense. I swear.) Let's look in on how everyone's doing, shall we?

Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. Proudly Presents…

A Shattered Christmahannukwanzcemberween Illusion

_Ding Dong_

"I got it!" Axel yelled, running to the door of the Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. Fourth-Wall Break Room. Opening the door, a very familiar-looking red head came through, smiling as she dusted snow off her jacket.

"Sorry I'm late," Amber apologized. "Dad was a little late getting home from work, so we didn't start lighting the Menorah until later than I expected, and we can't exactly leave until the candles burn out."

"You _could_," Axel offered.

"It'd be a _little_ disrespectful," Amber explained. "At least in my family."

"Well, whatever, you made it anyway," Axel smiled. "Just in time, too. The band's about ready to start playing."

"_Hello ladies and gentlemen, fictional characters and readers of all ages!"_ Skyler yelled into the microphone, standing on a slightly elevated stage area. "We are 'Hastily Thrown Together'! Or 'HTT', as you'll see if you buy some of our merch. My name is Skyler Blue and I'll be on lead vocals tonight. Over on lead _and_ rhythm guitar… andbase… is the incomparable _Medici the Meditite!_"

"Don't hate me just because I'm gorgeous _and_ talented," Medici chimed in, peering over ridiculously large sunglasses.

"Yeah, whatever, and on drums, we have the _beautiful_ Becky!" Skyler continued.

Silence, as everyone at the party searched through the story, looking for a character named Becky.

"I'm…" she explained, speaking into her mike. "I'm the girl from the pizza place in Cliffkiln? Axel and I used to date… sort of?"

"_Hi Becky!_" Axel yelled from the crowd.

"Hi Axel…" she said softly, turning red. After a slightly awkward silence, Hastily Thrown Together flew into an up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bell Rock', with Skyler occasionally breaking into a freestyle verse here and there. It wasn't bad.

"_HO HO HO!"_ came a deep voice from the back of the room. Mr. Munson, dressed up as Santa Claus, burst out on the party, carrying a multitude of baskets with bows firmly tied on them. "Merry Christmas, everyone! Gifts for one and all!"

"How… surprising, Mr. Munson," Amber said. "I never thought of you as the type to dress up and bring gifts as office Santa."

"Well, you must not have gotten to know me very well in the few days you knew me, Amber." Mr. Munson smiled. "Happy Hanukkah, by the way. Here's your present."

"Oh boy!" Amber yelled excitedly. "It's…" she paused. "It's a bushel of apples."

"That's right!" Mr. Munson said, beaming. "A bushel of fresh, delicious apples! Only from _Munson's Grocer in Cliffkiln, Salvout Region, _down the street from the post office! Munson's Grocery, where our motto is: _Getting Food From Here Will Make You a Better Person!_ Now under new management!"

Amber blinked. "I take that back. I should have seen this coming."

"_Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Gallant! Listen! Hey! Hey!"_ Qwill yelled, running up to the Gallade by the punch bowl. "I've got a question and before I ask it I want you to know that it's a serious question but at the same time I don't necessarily care what the answer is even though I kind of want to know but I guess it's more that I don't want you to get the wrong idea and…"

"_Just. Ask. The question."_ Gallant said impatiently, drinking the punch quickly and hoping to _God_ it was alcoholic.

"Do you think that Death's going to come to the party? I mean I don't want him to come because he's really scary and he kills people but I figure that since this is sort of a non-canonical, fourth wall breaking segment that doesn't have anything to do with the story that he might show up and he might even have a completely different personality because he's 'off duty' or whatever and I want to know whether I should be scared or not because if I should then I need to go get my special blanket from my Pokéball and if not then I don't have to worry about it and I can enjoy myself and the indecision is killing me right now and so I need to know if…"

"Death declined his invitation," Inigo said, walking up to the two of them with a serious look on his face. "He said that he was going to spend the holidays 'spreading Christmas cheer… all across the ground.'

The three were silent for a moment. "You've locked all the windows, right?" Gallant asked.

"I _boarded_ them," the Treecko affirmed. "I was actually going to ask if you wanted to take turns walking a perimeter."

"Switch off every half hour?"

"Sounds good to me," the Treecko nodded.

"_I want to help, I want to help, I want to help! _Death is scary but I'm pretty sure he's flammable because he jumped out of the way of that fire blast I chucked at him in the story so I think that means that he'd get hurt by it unless he just wanted to look threatening which is possible because he's Death and…"

"So why isn't Bertrand here?" Vanna asked, chatting up Axel and Percy on the other side of the room.

"Well he's dead, isn't he?" Percy said bluntly.

"Right… in story," Vanna reasoned. "But Skyler, Medici, and that pizza girl…"

"Becky," Axel corrected.

"_Becky_ and them have never actually met in story, yet they're in a band together…" She paused. "You'd think Amaxing could have brought him back for the few hundred words that this special will span, you know?"

"He's pretty busy… probably didn't think about it," Axel suggested. "I'm pretty sure he's still in his office working, even though the party's _literally_ right across the hall."

"Would you go talk to him Axel? _Pleeease?_" Vanna asked, pouting slightly and batting her eyes. "And don't just say that I want to talk to him, say… I've been talking about him _all night_ and I'm just _so excited_ to finally meet him. That should get him out here."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Percy asked.

"… And?" Vanna asked back.

"I'll be sure to tell him," Axel smiled, heading towards the door. "Keep Percy company, will you? We don't know if he's crazy outside the story or not."

"I'm not crazy _inside_ the story you…" but Axel was already gone. Percy slumped over. "I'll get that guy one day, I swear."

"In your dreams, Percy," Vanna smiled. "Oh, by the way, have you seen Gardevoir?" (Just in case you're taking notes: _this_ is what a forced transition looks like.)

In a bench near the back of the room, slightly obscured by the fifteen foot tall Christmas tree, Gardevoir sat, occasionally scribbling into her pad. Sometimes she'd look out at the people mulling around, chatting it up and laughing, but not for long.

"And what is someone like you doing sitting here by themselves?"

Looking up, immediately turning red, Gardevoir saw the blue, turtle-y countenance of Shelligan, hauling himself onto the bench next to her. "Don't you worry about me, I'm not about to make a fool of myself like Medici," the Squirtle reassured her. "I just can't stand to see anyone sit by themselves at a party."

_I'm fine, really_ Gardevoir wrote. _I'm more than occupied._

"Is that so?" Shelligan remarked. "You don't seem very occupied, dear. You've hardly made any marks in that notepad for the last fifteen minutes."

Gardevoir showed him the pad, which was covered in a fifteen-by-fifteen grid with numbers and letters dotted everywhere. _Monster Sudoku_ she wrote down as an explanation. _Very hard._

"Ah," Shelligan replied. "That would explain it, wouldn't it? Any particular reason you're not marking an 'A' in the upper right hand corner?"

Gardevoir looked at the pad quickly, eyes glancing over the grid, and sighed, tapping herself lightly on the head with her pencil. It was as adorable as you might think. _Thank you_ she wrote meekly.

"Think nothing of it," Shelligan chuckled. "And do let me know if you need any help, yes? I'm not going anywhere, and there's no problem that the _Magnificent Shelligan_ shouldn't be able to at least take a halfway decent crack at."

"_Hey! Max!"_ Axel yelled from the door of the Head (And Only) Writer's office. "What are you doing still working? Get out here and enjoy yourself!"

"God only gets to rest on the seventh day, Axel," I told him, keeping my cell phone pressed firmly to my ear so I could hear the client on the other side. "It's only day Pi, so that means I've still got to work."

"But Vanna's out there… she's been talking about you all night. Seems very excited to finally meet you."

I apologized to the man on the other end, quickly diverting my attention to Axel. "One, because Vanna is a fictional character that I created and whose personality is subject to my whims, anything that happened between us would be _very _strange, possibly incest, and… technically rape. Two, I'm God to you people, so I already know exactly _why_ she told you to tell me that, and third, I'm on the phone with a very important client. Possible deal for product placement in an upcoming chapter."

"Ooh! What product?" The trainer asked excitedly, not taking the hint that he needed to leave.

"ElectaBuzz energy drinks," I told him.

"Ooh! Those! Qwill _loves _those, they're his favorite!"

"No, Axel…" I sighed, slightly confused. "You can't _say_ that. I haven't _written_ that, so there's no possible way that it could be true yet."

"But it _is_ true!" He continued on obliviously. "He drinks them all the time! They help him focus, even if they make him even _more_ jittery than usual."

I paused, and then smiled. I could use this to my advantage. "Did you hear that?" I asked the representative on the other side. "Our main protagonist _already_ uses your product. Any endorsement he'd make would be that much more believable! You've _got_ to sign now. Yes? _Yes?_ Good, that sounds lovely. Oh, I'll be certain to. Say high to the missus for me. Buh-bye." I snapped my flip phone shut, satisfied.

"Can you come out now?" Axel asked.

"Nah, I've got to call the people at AMPharos and tell them that we've found a better deal. It's always important to be courteous, Axel." He didn't look satisfied, and I rolled my eyes, letting out another sigh. "Ok, _fine_. I'll be out right after I make this last call, ok?"

"Good!" Axel smiled. "I'll just leave your gift on the desk, then." He placed the basket on my desk. "It's a bushel of oranges, yeah," he said.

"Really? I thought it was a bushel of stacks of hundred dollar bills." I edited.

"Huh? Why would you think _OHMYGOD WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?"_

"Again, Axel… God. To you, anyway." I said. "Now go have fun, ok? Try not to break too many hearts out there."

"I'll only break as many as you let me," he replied with a smile, showing uncharacteristic clarity of a thought for a fraction of a second.

I watched him as he left, looking at the basket on my desk, which now contained a Nintendo 3DS and the Phoenix Wright/Professor Layton crossover game as well as a pair of fuzzy dice shaped like the companion cube. I smiled. AMPharos could wait, I suppose. This party wasn't going to last forever, even if it _was _going to last as long as I willed it to. I got up my chair, walking across the hall. I had a group photo to be in.

"Everyone gather round!" I cried, as Lexi got ready to shoot… the photo. "And on three, shout the words that I just placed in all of your heads! Ready? One! Two! Three!"

MERRY CHRISTMAHANNUKWANZCEMBERWEEN FROM ALL OF US HERE AT AMAXING FAN FICTION INC.

Yes… even Death. Though he did want to remind all of you that she's watching, and urges you to be careful.

And also, on a completely unrelated note…

Viva la feminism?


	27. Chapter 26: Oft Go Awry

Remi Alc-sid: Despite how great a man he was, Remi Alc-sid is still horribly under-recognized in the world of fan fiction. In fact, it's because of him that we're even able to write fan fiction at all.

Whence upon reading the tale of the mighty King Arthur, Remi was inspired to construct a masterwork of his own: the exact same tale, but featuring a strange wizard named Merlin who saw everything backwards (seing as Remi's own name is contained in Merlin, scholars of fandom assume that Merlin was, in fact, the first Gary Stu).

The original author, however, sought legal recourse against Remi, for intellectual property infringement (which they did in fact have in the middle ages, because otherwise everyone would be drafting up their own version of the Magna Carta and toting it around as their own.)

As he was being strung up on the gallows, however, Remi said something that would alter the course of literary history forever: 'Forsooth! It was not mine intention to claim his story as mine own! In fact, I hereby state that the vast majoritae of this story doth not belong to me!' Satisfied, the author agreed to let Remi live, unaware of the future consequences the decision would have.

You see, the case of Remi vs. That-Guy-Who-Wrote-About-King-Arthur would serve as the historical precedent for protecting all writers who wanted desperately to see two of their favorite characters shack up. Eventually, a story was deemed perfectly legal to be distributed (for free, naturally), simply by invoking Remi's name at the very beginning. And because his greatest character, Merlin, saw everything backwards, so too did authors decided that the most fitting way to invoke the first and greatest fan fiction writer in history was to name him backwards as well.

And that, my friends, is where the word 'disclaimer' comes from. Remi I don't own Pokémon.

…

…

What? Yes it's all true! Look it up. It's legit. I swear. Really.

**Chapter 26: Oft Go Awry**

**Detective Jenkins**

"Did you _honestly_ believe that the actual police would authorize sending a lone civilian deep into criminal territory?" I asked as I strolled into the room with a smug grin that was meant to seem menacing.

Axel was struck silent for a moment, stewing in the boiling broth of his own idiocy (though with how damn hot it was getting, he could have just been stewing). "I have to ask," he finally said, "how long have you been bent, Detective?"

"Bent? I'm not bent," I stated, cracking my knuckles as I crossed over to him. "That would imply that at some point, I wasn't a 'Musketeer'." I shrugged. "Which isn't the case, I'm afraid. Aggie got me young."

"Oh, hush," my wife blushed, trying to maintain her composure in front of the boy we were supposed to be threatening.

"Oh, so _you're_ his wife!" Axel said excitedly. "Ah, that's just great! Let me see… you guys have to be in your late forties, early fifties so it's what… twenty-five years?"

"Thirty-two," I corrected without even thinking.

"Thirty-two! That's amazing, really!" Axel said, smiling wider than a mobile home on the freeway. "That's really encouraging to see, especially in this day and age, you know? Just great, congratulations to both of you."

"You're not small-talking your way out of this, kid," I asserted.

"What? Oh no, no, I _meant_ it!" He asserted back, actually seeming genuine. "It's uncommon to see a couple stay together so long these days, what with divorces, annulments… people getting murdered." He smiled. "In fact, I'll make it official: of all the people that have ever handcuffed me, threatened me with violence, and tried to rob me, you guys are my favorite."

"This happens often, I take?" Aggie couldn't resist adding.

"Don't get drawn in," I warned her. "We _already_ like him too much as it is; any more, and we won't be able to finish the job."

"If it makes any difference to you guys, I'm perfectly ok with that." Axel jumped in. "I won't tell anyone, promise."

"_Shut up,"_ I growled loudly. "Now hold still and let me take that gauntlet."

"No," Axel said simply, backing away. "I won't. I _can't._ Professor Redwood trusted me."

"I don't _give a damn_ what Professor Redwood thinks about all of this. Hand over that gauntlet!"

"I don't think so," Axel grunted, jumping back away from me. "_Medici! I know you can hear me, get out here now! I need you!"_ Pathetic. I waited, just to humor him, as he looked around for his Pokémon, baffled at how they weren't coming. _"Qwill? Inigo?_ … Anyone?" His mouth hung open stupidly.

"They won't be coming, Mr. Jackson," Aggie said, cutting the fun short. "We've got frequency emitters set up that prevent Pokéballs from opening."

"Uh… oh." Axel said slowly. "So… um…" he paused. "I guess I… don't have an ace up my sleeve, huh?"

"Unless you consider flailing around and kicking wildly an ace, no," I answered. "In fact, just to make sure you _don't_ decide to do that…" I pulled from .44 from its holster, setting the sights on his head. "Get down on the ground, now. Aggie, take his Pokémon."

"What?" My wife said in shock. "We just need the BBUTTON, dear, there's no need to…"

"I don't want to take any risks. We've come this far." We looked at each other a minute, and she nodded. She went over to Axel, lifted his jacket up, and removed four Pokéballs from his waist.

I blinked. Something wasn't right. "Look again, dear? I think he's hiding one."

"No…" Aggie disagreed. "He's got four Pokémon. The Treecko, the Cyndaquil, the Squirtle, and the Meditite."

"_And Deathwing."_ I reminded here. "He's got that dragon-Skarmory now too."

"Oh! Right, of course. Silly me." She stooped back down, looking around Axel's waist, then in his pockets, then through his backpack… oh no.

"It's not here," Aggie said, confused. "He's only got these four Pokémon with him, Mag."

Damn it. "Where is it?" I growled, moving closer and pressing the barrel of the gun right against his head. "_WHERE IS IT? What did you tell that Pokémon of yours to do?"_

"I just… left it at home," Axel tried to lie. "It was still tired from capturing Deathwing, so I let it skip out on this."

I saw right through this, of course, and drew my hand back, striking him across the head with the butt of my gun. He grunted, slid across the floor, and I crossed over to him. Of course he was still conscious. I placed the gun to his head again, this time pulling back the safety to make that ever-so-threatening 'click'. "_WHERE IS IT? What did you have it do? Tell me NOW!"_

"Listen…" Axel said, turning to look up at me. "I wouldn't worry about that right now."

"_And why the hell not?_" I screamed.

"Because it's… really the least of your problems," he answered.

And then, somewhere upstairs, an explosion went off.

**Shelligan**

Maestro! Cue the Mission Impossible Theme, immediately! Although James Bond will due quite well in a pinch.

Infiltration might not strictly be covered in the entertainer's code, but there are a _few_ rules that help on the whole 'secret mission' front. Rule 4, for instance, is 'never let the audience see what you're hiding' and Rule 15 is 'always have a way out'. That last one is more in case of obsessive fans or in case of accidentally offending royalty but it _is_ rather applicable here, no?

I have to admit, the instruction 'get into the ducts and mess with the central heating system' are a bit vague, and certainly up for interpretation, but then again: Axel. I'm surprised he had any sort of back up plan whatsoever, actually. Perhaps my knack for strategic thinking is rubbing off on him?

While I hadn't counted for the central thermostat to be under lock and key (_someone_ must be particular about the temperature settings around here), it wasn't anything that couldn't be bypassed with a hairpin and some talent. This facility is about to get hotter than a Blaziken barbeque!

No time to dawdle, though. On to phase 2!

**Lexi**

One of the hardest decisions a girl has to make (other than which Pokémon to choose as her first, of course) is which to use: the M40 or the Barrett M82 50 Cal?

Granted, the Barrett M82 _does_ have a greater overall effective range but it's not… _technically_ a sniper rifle. Not only that, but there's just something… classy about the M40 that the very mechanistic look and feel of the M82 doesn't have, you know?

Maybe you don't know. I'm going with the M40, though, and I'll be sure to get good use out of it if and when Axel's friends get antsy waiting for him and try to stage a 'daring rescue mission'. I'd almost feel kind of bad doing it, but anyone who honestly thinks that they can do what they see in the movies… they kind of deserve what they get. I mean, c'mon, you're telling me that the idiot who takes a crowbar to a zombie during the inevitable apocalypse didn't _earn_ getting infected?

I… am coming off far geekier than I really am right now. Or perhaps more hillbilly than usual. I blame The Walking Dead.

It would explain why my first reaction to being grabbed suddenly from behind (even by someone I knew was a coworker) was to throw myself down and away quickly and draw my weapon. My fellow Musketeer (I believe his name is Andrew… not sure, though), laughed at my reaction, and told me to come into the security room. There was something I needed to see.

The entire security team was gathered around one monitor, which seemed kind of dumb, but I didn't judge. Andrew pointed to what was on the monitor, peeking over our coworkers' shoulders to get a better view. I looked, and groaned, knowing full well why the entirely male security team had decided to abandon their posts. Axel's friends had indeed started coming up the mountain… and were currently in the middle of the most ridiculous catfight I'd ever seen. The redhead tore the jacket off of the other girl, and I swear half of the room _drooled._ Gross.

As long as this keeps up, though, I won't have to shoot them, so I suppose I (and Axel's friends) should be grateful this happened. A loud hoot and a few wolf whistles rose out of my Team-mates (the redhead's shirt was in the midst of being pulled up) and I sighed. Typical men, I suppose. I wonder if Skyler would be so easily distracted? I hope not…

And then, out of nowhere, an explosion went off down the hall, and the sound of running feet filled the hallway. I gasped, checking the alarms to make sure I just hadn't missed something. But they weren't going off. How had the heat sensors not picked this up?

"_Everyone freeze!_" came a voice over a megaphone. "You're all under arrest for aiding in the production and distribution of illegal goods and weaponry! Put your hands in the air, Team Musket, and no one gets hurt!"

This was ridiculous. There wasn't any _possible_ way that they could have known we were Team Musket before barging in here! I wasn't amused, and neither were my coworkers, who quickly drew Pokéballs from their hips and threw them. Flocks of Zubat were soon sweeping through the ranks of the police, causing general confusion and leaving bite marks. Not one for training Pokémon, I reached instead for Tommy… my mini-gun, conveniently tucked under a desk.

I yelled for everyone to clear out of the way, and my coworkers dived to the sides of the room, leaving me a clear line of fire. I'd only ever used one of these to tear down a tree before… was I really going to tear through _people? _I guess I didn't have much choice: what we're doing here's just too important.

I let the bullets fly, but instead of the carnage I'd expected, an enormous Bastiodon appeared as of nowhere, it's large shield-shaped head reflecting my bullets as if they were made of paper. I swore, tossing the gun aside and darting away before it could pin me down.

"_How the hell did we let G-man in?_" I screamed at my coworkers as they tried desperately to avoid being detained. "_We're practically_ dead_ now!"_

"_I don't know!_" Andrew screamed back. "_But we can't worry about that right now! Find Chief Aggie and get her out of here, hurry! We'll buy you time!"_

I nodded quickly, rushing out the back door even as a tranquilizing round whizzed past my ear. Don't you _dare_ mess this up, Lexi!

**Chief Aggie**

"How? _How is this happening?_ How did our sensors and security team let such a large group in?" I'd pulled up security footage on a nearby computer, and was now gasping as I saw my coworkers fight desperately to keep the lab safe. I was touched… and horrified at the same time.

"Well, um…" Axel offered. "Your heat sensors probably didn't go off because of how damn hot it's gotten in here." He shook sweat from his brow, just to emphasize the point. "As for your security team, I… _think_ they were distracted by what must have been one _hell_ of a hot catfight. There may have even been some stripping involved, but… I don't know. Amber wasn't entirely sold on that idea."

"_YOU!_"Magnum screamed into the boy's ear. "_You turned the fake sting we set up to sting you into a real sting to sting _us _when I wasn't looking?"_

"Um… maybe?" the trainer gulped. "I hope that doesn't… _sting _too much."

"_You are not James Bond!"_ Helen yelled, bursting through the doorway and kneeing Axel aside for good measure. "Boss, we need to go," she yelled at me. "Forget whatever it is you're doing, we need to make sure what we've worked for doesn't go to waste!"

"Oh no," Magnum asserted before I could say anything. "We pulled him in to this for a reason, and we're _not leaving_ without that BBUTTON. Even if it means dragging him along with us!"

"Which isn't going to happen!" Axel yelled, pulling himself up to his feet. "Not as long as I cling to consciousness, anyway."

"Maggie, honey, let's not get carried away!" I yelled quickly. "Mr. Jackson, I don't know how you were able to set this up, but…"

"It was easier than you might think," Axel explained. "A note for the future: if you want you're undercover cop to blend him, don't knit him a scarf _with the Team Musket Logo on it._ It helps."

"Mr. Jackson…" I began to explain.

"_We don't have a logo!"_ Lexi yelled, correctly wondering why we were having this conversation instead of running.

"Huh?" Axel asked dumbly. "It's not a blazing musket over an M, like on his scarf?"

"That's…" I paused, suddenly inappropriately embarrassed. "That's supposed to be a snake with its tongue out… Maggie really likes snakes…" For some reason, I felt wounded, and it showed, because Magnum became even _angrier._

"That's the last straw," Magnum growled. "You're _dead_, Jackson. I was going to let you live, but now… you've just done too much."

"Maggie, _please_, calm down!" I pleaded. "There are other ways we can…"

"If we let him go now, the police will just see as an organization they can play around with. That random kids can just raid willy-nilly and come out unscathed! You don't want to turn into another Galactic, do you? Or an _Aqua_?"

That did the trick. "Well, no…" I agreed hesitantly. "But…"

"It's what's best Aggie, I promise," Magnum assured me, knocking Axel down to his knees and placing the gun behind his head. "I'm sorry about this kid, really. But I've got the world to think about, and it sure _as hell_ doesn't end with you."

I saw Ms. Alexis gulp, but she made no movement whatsoever. Ashamed, I turned away, not wanting to see what happened next.

When did we turn into this?

Author's Note

Hey all! Guess what? It's time for a reader poll! Huh? _Huh?_

This is coming from necessity more than interest, I'll admit, though I am interested in what you have to say about it. You see, I've been planning out the Pokémon League for the Salvout-Ginli region, and I'm quite indecisive about what to name the Badges. The only one I've got nailed down is Vanna's Pulsar Badge, and she made that decision more than I did.

So here's a list of competing names! You'll note that there are more than seven categories. This is to confuse you! And because I'm _really_ _REALLY_ indecisive. Vote on all of them! Or some of them. Or make up your own! Or don't do anything. The choice… is yours. Use it wisely. That didn't make sense. I don't care.

Possible Badge Names (Comparisons)

Glitch Badge/Haywire Badge/404 Badge

Glamour Badge/Ritz Badge/Madonna Badge

Gravel Badge/Avalanche Badge/Landslide Badge

Larva Badge/Inchworm Badge/Caterpillar Badge

Badge Badge/The Badge/Badge Badge Badge

Light-speed Badge/Flurry Badge/Spring Badge

Colossus Badge/Titan Badge

Apprentice Badge/Journeyman Badge

X Badge/Z Badge

Conqueror Badge/Omega Badge

Tornado Badge/Maelstrom Badge/Hurricane Badge

Rhythm Badge/Cadenza Badge

Wisdom Badge/Prudence Badge/Foresight Badge

Dust Badge/Ashes Badge

Wyrm badge/Wyvern Badge/Hydra Badge

Gambit Badge/Risk Badge/Chance Badge

That's more than I thought! It's actually frightening, seeing all the possibilities lined up like that. See if you can guess which ones I just made up on the spot to confuse you!

And now to make good on some question answering!

Reader Zoeten asked… many questions, actually, so let me answer them in order.

_You said that __Orre fell three hundred years ago: I was wondering how did Orre become part of the Antebellum region?_

_ - _I'm not sure if I wrote this unclear…ly, or if 'Antebellum' is throwing you. Antebellum is a term than refers to a time 'before a war' (Ante being before, bellum being war). In America, we use this term to describe pre-Civil War events, but in Salvout and Ginli, it refers to the Great War. Meaning that, really, it covers any time period more than eighty-five years ago. That's why Orre falls in that time period.

_I__n chapter 16 you said you were taking character suggestions. Can you get in to more detail about this?_

- Sure! I'm looking for random filler characters. Townsfolk, roadside trainers, that sort of thing. I know some stories ask for the character's family history and back-story and favorite Spice Girl, but I'm really just asking for a name and a few personality traits. Heck, even just a name would be good. Names are always the hardest part in making characters, in my opinion… you've got no _idea _how many other names I had just for Axel. I might give you a list in a later author's note.

And as for the last question:

_Did Axel really get laid?_

- I actually like to keep things like this intentionally vague, so the reader can make up and explanation as pure or corrupted as they want. Did Axel and that nurse really get it on? Perhaps they were just making out, or talking very loudly. They could have been composing poetry about kittens. Hell, Axel always carries a copy of Risk with him, so they might have just spent the night fighting over the Kamchatka Peninsula.

As the reader, you're allowed to see any of these interpretations as the truth! Or none of them. Or all of them at once! Actually, on second thought, don't do that. That's just weird.

Also, as for posting on forums to get more reviews… that's a thing? That you can do? Huh. I mistrust all forums as a rule, so I probably won't be doing that but… you guys are welcome to direct people over here if you feel like it. I'm not writing this in secret or anything.

Viva la feminism?


	28. Chapter 27: The Crash

Disclaimer: Amaxing is, unfortunately, not awesome.

… Ok, did I do something to you, Mr. Disclaimer writer?

**Chapter 27: The Crash**

**Toto**

Getting underground was tricky.

Sneaking past the guards was tricky.

Getting into the air ducts (seriously, who puts these things so high up?) was tricky, but I did it. And for what? So that the police can blow a hole in the wall almost right behind me!

I'm fine, but still, it makes everything I've done up until this point seem like a waste. _Why did I bother sneaking in here again?_ To help Axel, through the use of _stealth._ This over the top, literally blow the door off the joint is going to get somebody _killed_, you stupid humans!

As if to assure me that I was right (not that I needed it), an echo came through the air ducts from somewhere below me. _"You're _dead_, Jackson. I was going to let you live, but now… you've just done too much."_

Damn it! I thought I was done running! _What is with all the running, seriously!_

**Detective Jenkins**

I couldn't pull the trigger.

Let me clear the air of something right now: it's not that I was suddenly overwhelmed by my fondness for the kid and couldn't bring myself to kill him, like in some campy, feel-good Lifetime original movie. I'd gotten over that almost as soon as he'd insulted my wife's artistic skills… probably before that. What I mean is that I literally, _physically could not pull the trigger._ I struggled; sweat pouring down my head from both the heat of the building and the effort I was making to finish Axel execution style… but nothing.

"_What the hell's going on?" _I yelled in desperation, and a conceited, all too familiar chuckle came from behind me.

"Come _on_," Axel's Meditite said, psychically throwing me away from his trainer and into the back wall of the laboratory. "I'm a musician _and a psychic._ You thought you could keep me in my ball with a mere _frequency?_"

"We'd tested it on psychic Pokémon before," Aggie explained, becoming visibly distraught. "So… yes. It should have worked."

"I suppose we'll never know for sure, seeing as Shelly over there so handily disabled the device while you weren't looking," Medici laughed.

I turned quickly to where we'd hidden the Musket Frequency Emitter, and saw the boy's Squirtle leaning against it egotistically, actually _taunting_ me with a short 'Squirt!' Seeing red, I pulled my .44 around, trying to let off a shot at the little blue menace, but the gun flew out of my hands, landing in the waiting grasp of Axel.

"Medici? If you would?" he asked, holding his handcuffs out.

The Meditite floated over to its trainer, breaking the chain between the cuffs with a single kick. "You could have thought the safety word _before_ they started beating you," it lectured Axel. "In fact, as soon as we were in the lab, you really should have just let me out."

"I waited until the last possible minute, just like you suggested," Axel responded. "And as far as beatings go, you _know_ this isn't the worst one I've ever gotten."

"How many times are you going to make me apologize for that?"

"Just once. I _told_ you just once. There's no need to continue doing it," Axel smiled.

This was almost sickening. They'd come in, duped all of us, almost ruined everything we hoped to work for, and were now _cutely reminiscing as if we weren't here._ I had to do something, but my every move was held back by that damn Meditite!

_"I hope you're happy with yourself, Jackson!"_ I yelled, rage jumping over the waterfall and transforming into a full on, thrashing Gyarados. "_This is the end! For all of us!"_

"You want me to… feel bad for smashing a criminal ring's research lab?" Axel asked, cocking his smarmy head. "I'm not… I mean, I understand why that's bad for _you_, but…"

"I'm not talking about that," I seethed. "I work on the police force, remember? At least I _used_ to. I've _seen_ what's over on the other side, over in Ginli." I shuddered. "They've got this team over there, Team Cannon, that bio-engineers Pokémon until they're practically just _monsters."_ I strained against my psychic shackles, unable to do much more than lean forward. "_This was our response to that, you moron! If we can't give soldiers a mean to defend themselves, then Salvout's _dead_ when the war breaks out again!"_

"_If_," Axel said softly, much to my confusion. "_If_ the war breaks out again, you mean," he clarified. "It's a simple mistake, I realize, but I can't help correcting…"

"You think I'm wrong?" I spat. "Fine. Go on being naïve. It's not my place to ruin your childhood."

Axel cocked his head again, and opened his mouth to let out what qualified for _him_ as a 'witty retort'. He didn't, though, because at that moment, a loud _bang_ came from above, and from the heating ducts about twenty feet above us, a Totodile began to fall.

The Trainer gasped, eyes widening like a Jigglypuff's, and he yelled without thinking: "_Medici! Catch her!_"

Sprinting across the room, the Meditite's focus was broken enough to allow me to slip out of its mental shackles. I took the opportunity like it was the only one I'd get, and dove at Axel. The boy gasped again, flinched back in shock and tried to point the gun at me. Like he knew what he was doing. I grabbed his arm, trying to wrench the .44 free from his hands, but he was stronger than I thought. I felt his knee dig into my stomach, and the hard shell of his Squirtle strike the back of my head.

With a loud grunt, the boy actually shoved me away, near the table with the remainder of his Pokéballs. A buzzing in my head was beginning to grow, as I looked around desperately for something, _anything_ to stop this boy from defeating us.

It was the worst idea I'd ever had, but at this point I didn't care. I grabbed the Pokéball without thinking, thinking somehow that more chaos was what we needed.

I think… I think I heard Axel, Ms. Alexis… even Aggie yelling at me not to do it, but I couldn't stop. With almost sickening satisfaction, I threw the Pokéball onto the ground, loosing Deathwing into the laboratory.

My stomach fell almost immediately afterwards. Had I forgotten how big it was? How monstrous? The thing raised its neck upwards immediately, colliding with the ceiling and raining rubble down on us. Confused, it began to buck around, trying to free itself, and collided with the wall.

A load-bearing wall.

Aggie screamed as the rocks and dirt began to fill part of the room… _her_ part of the room. Ms. Alexis screamed at me, telling me it was too late, but I didn't listen. Nothing was going to stop me. Aggie… Aggie!

The creature bucked again, this time taking out ceiling directly above my head. I saw the darkness descend before I ever felt the crushing weight of the rubble on top of me.

**Lexi**

It was everything I could do just to stay focused.

Did I _want_ to start crying? Sure, but it wasn't going to help anyone. Hell, if I acted fast enough, there might not be anything to cry over!

I started to run towards the rubble, judging the best way to get past Deathwing, but Axel put a hand out in front of me, blocking me path. "_HEY!_" He yelled. "_You! The Skarmory! Listen up!"_

The beast turned to face Axel, screeching loudly as it did so, blue pupils piercing like daggers.

"I know that you're confused right now," Axel said, almost soothingly. "And I know that you couldn't help running into the ceiling and I know that you _probably_ think I'm a horrible person who just likes torturing you." I gaped in equal parts horror and astonishment. Did he actually think he could get through to that… _thing?_

"None of that matters now, though," he continued. "Because right now, as of this moment, you know _exactly_ where you are, and what you're doing, and anything you do from this point on is _entirely_ your fault. You won't be able to blame it on me, or Death, or even on that psychotic _monster_ that you used to be." He paused for breath. "If you destroy anything else, or kill anyone else… it's _all_ on you.

If that doesn't bother you then… fine! Do what you will. I was stupid to think I'd be able to change you and I probably _deserve_ to die for it." He'd begun to shake at this point, and I noticed that the pause he tried to play off as dramatic was really just to steel his nerves. "But if there's _any_ hesitation in your mind… any nagging doubt at the back of your head saying _'maybe I shouldn't do this'_…" He picked the Skarmory's Pokéball up off the floor, holding it out at arms length. "Then return. And I swear to God that I'll do everything I can to help you with what you're going through right now."

The Skarmory stood, seething motionlessly even as large chunks of/ debris from its rampage fell down from above. For the briefest of seconds, I thought I saw its eyes turn one less shade of blue. Then, miraculously, it contracted into red light, willingly retreating back into its ball.

I would have gaped in shock, but the Meditite's frantic digging had already unearthed part of Aggie's arm. Axel directed it over to where Magnum was buried, assuring the Pokémon that he could take it from here, but the Meditite shook its head.

"You see that steel girder on top of that pile?" he said hurriedly. "We take that out and this whole place comes crashing down!" It hung its head. "I'm sorry…"

"It's fine, good job," Axel assured it quickly, digging out debris from around Aggie's head. I heard a cough, a rustling of dirt, and with a burst of adrenaline I tore a large chunk of sheet rock away, revealing Aggie's head.

"Stop…" she coughed. "Stop digging it's… it's too late. I don't think you want to see the state my lower half is in."

"Shut up," I spat. "Don't talk like that! We'll get you out of here, just…"

She held a hand up, still commanding my respect even now. "It's done, Ms. Alexis. Don't worry. Get out while you still can… but, do one thing for me?"

"Of course, anything, I… of course, Chief…" I said, desperately fighting to keep myself together.

"Find the… one that got away," she got out. "Tell him… what I sent him to find was meant for him all along…" she coughed again, wincing in pain. "And also, tell him that… for a few months now… he's been ready." She forced a smile, and I could help but feel sick. "I've only been keeping him here… out of selfishness, really."

I wanted to stay there with her, right up until the end, I really did. I wanted to tell her everything she'd ever meant to me, and how I'd never be half the person I was today without her, but… I couldn't. Another explosion came from upstairs, shaking the already unstable ceiling above us, and suddenly, to my horror; the entirety of the upper floor came crashing down. Axel grabbed me and pulled me towards the center of the room, as the Meditite projected a force shield around us with barely enough time to avoid crushing us.

The weight of the debris put strain on the Pokémon, it grunted and sweated as more and more piled on top of him. With a louder grunt, it dismissed the Barrier, pushing the debris atop us to either side.

"I never thought this would happen to me," I thought aloud, more to myself than Axel. I turned to the young trainer, who stood staring at the place where Aggie had been. "If… if it makes any difference," I said. "I mean, since we're about to die, I might as well tell you… I actually do kind of think you're cute. Only a little bit of it was acting."

"That _does_ make me feel a little better," he admitted, looking over at me. "But… no offense, not much."

"None taken," I sighed, staring up at the mix of sheet rock and metal that lay just a few feet above us. "You know… since we _are_ about to die… I mean…"

"You're in no position to make that kind of choice," Axel cut me off. "You don't want to regret it later, do you?"

"What later?" I asked. "You think anyone will get to us in time? That anyone will even _look?_"

"Almost certain," he smiled. "And if not, we can always use the escape tunnel."

I sighed. What die this guy think we were, any way? "We don't _have_ an escape tunnel, Axel," I explained. "Don't you think we would have used it by now?"

"You don't?" he asked, surprised. "Ah. Well then. I guess it's good I brought my own."

Somehow, someway, at almost that exact second a Pokémon burst through the wall, steel claws rotating like an enormous drill bit. Axel let out a sigh of relief, rushing over to the animal.

"Excadrill, you have no _idea_ how happy I am to see you right now. No time for chatting though, let's go, let's go!" Medici ran up the tunnel, followed by the Excadrill. Axel looked back at me, beckoning me forward. "You _are_ coming, right? Come on!"

Nodding my thanks, I burst into a full-speed sprint up the tunnel. There would no doubt be police officers waiting for me, but if I just ran fast enough, I could break away into the woods.

I needed to make sure Aggie's final request didn't go unfulfilled. I had to save Skyler.

Rushing out of the whole, I caught a glimpse of an enormous man, seven foot tall at minimum, standing in wait. I swore silently, jumped up to catch him by surprise, and swerved around him, knowing I stood no chance if I took him on directly. Reaching the edge of the mountain forest, I tore through the leaves, the moon my only guide as I raced to intercept the balloon.

**Skyler**

"Here we go now,"

MAG ZONE MAGNEZONE

_I'll send girls into delirium_

_ When I ride by with my helium_

_ They'll be… packed from floor to ceiling and_

_ They'll want to steal my feelings but no_

_ Matter how they scamper_

_ No, or how they primp or pamper_

_ My heart keeps making plans for_

_ My sweet… Amber…._

_ MAGNEZONE SOLO!_

MAG MAGNE MAGNE **ZONE** NE MAGNEMAGNE

MAG MAGNE MAGNE **ZONE** NE MAGNEMAGNE

MAG MAGNE MAGNE **ZONE** NE MAGNEMAGNE

**MAAG NE ZONEAGNEZOOOOOONE**

"Ah," I sighed, staring up at the stars. "Nice, Magnezone. A bit repetitive, but it definitely had a good beat to it." I smiled, knocking at the top of its metal head playfully. "Don't be afraid to stray outside of beat box mode, remember."

I closed my eyes, reflecting on the day that was about to dawn. Mt. Harrow was beautiful this time of year, and hiking all the way to the top with a pretty girl by my side was something I'd _always_ wanted to do. Sure, I'd been to the top with Lexi before, but… it wasn't quite the same. Even if I _wanted_ to sleep, I couldn't… I was too excited.

Tangela was apparently excited to, as she started jumping up and down and running around in the basket. I stood up, about to tell her to calm down, for fear of the basket tipping, when I heard the balloon above me sort of… well…

Pop.

"_Everyone in their Pokéballs, now!"_ I yelled, and my three Pokémon quickly retracted inwards. The ground hurtled towards me… or, well… I hurtled towards it, I suppose, but it certainly _seemed_ like it was charging at me. My mind blanked for a moment as my life started flashing before my eyes.

Luckily, my mind decided to switch back on, and screamed _BOUNCE YOU IDIOT! BOUNCE!_

I waited until the last possible second, and then triggered the move; my body becoming quasi-elastic as it bounced me back into the air. Almost about as high as I was to begin with, actually. Screaming like an idiot, I Bounced again and again, each landing not exactly _hurting_, but not exactly being pleasant either. By the time I was finally lying still on the ground I was covered in bruises, and my head spun like a… like a… ooh, pretty colors.

Next thing I knew, Lexi was kneeling over me, assessing my wounds. "I figured you'd be fine," she explained. "Sorry I had to shoot you out of the sky like that, but it's an emergency."

"It'd _better_ be an emergency," I groaned. "It's going to take _forever_ to get these grass stains out of my palms... and face… and _hair_ before my date tonight."

"The police broke down the doors of the lab, and Magnum overreacted, and now both he and Aggie are dead. Basically everyone else has been arrested except me."

You always expect more build up before you get news like this. In fact… I was pretty damn skeptical that _any_ of what she'd said was true.

"Ok… Lexi," I comforted her. "I understand that my seeing someone came out of nowhere, but you _have_ said, on multiple occasions, that there's nothing between us. I'm ok with that. There's no need to make up these ridiculous stories to try and get my attention again, we can still be friends."

She punched me in the shoulder, but harder than usual, and it hurt like hell. "I'm _serious_ you egotistical moron!" she yelled at me. "How could you even _think_ I'd make something up like that?"

"I… I'm sorry, Lexi," I apologized quickly. "I just… I don't want to…" The weight of it all finally sank in. My mind truly blank, I sat down on the ground slowly, folding my legs beneath me so that I was sitting, legs crossed, facing the ground.

Everything was gone. Chief Aggie, Magnum, all the research that we were going to use to help protect the people of Salvout. All gone, and there wasn't anything I could have done. Of all the times to be out running a mindless errand, why now?

Lexi went on to tell me the details, but I could scarcely pay attention. Something about a sting for some Snagger, a trainer named Axel Jackson who had somehow captured Deathwing, the entire research lab being destroyed, and nothing to show for it. It was all too much, and I was honestly on the verge of breaking down right there.

"Skyler…" Lexi's voice came from somewhere above me. "You… you don't have to be strong for me. You know that right? It's ok if you want to…"

"No, I'm fine," I said, standing up quickly. There was no way in hell I'd let her think things had gotten the best of me. "It just came as shock, is all." I cleared my throat, hiding the sniff I needed to keep the tears from welling up in my eyes. "So what's the plan, then? Do we head to HQ?"

"Aggie… she actually wanted you to know something, Skyler," Lexi said. "She… used her last words to tell me, actually."

That's not fair. How the _hell_ am I supposed to _not_ cry now? "What… ah, em…" _Keep it together, man! There'll be time when you're alone!_ "What did she say?"

"The HM was meant for you the whole time," Lexi reported. "I'd assume it has to do with whatever treatment they gave you a few months back. Most things _have_ tied in to that recently… also," she paused; I'd like to think she was fighting back tears herself. "She said that you've been ready for months now. And, just so you know… I agree."

I'd always suspected Aggie was holding out on me, but I'd never thought finding out would seem so meaningless.

Except… it wasn't really meaningless, was it? This was the last thing that my boss… a woman who was almost a mother to me, wanted to tell me. What kind of son would I be if I didn't follow up on it? It was a purpose, at least, and I could fill the void I felt in my heart with it… at least for a while.

Looking down at the Titan Badge I'd won from my yearly bout with Goliath Gold, I nodded. "I'll leave immediately, then. I'll have to head to Woodale and then double back, then, and… I'll want to catch up to this _Axel_ at some point." Axel Jackson. The name even _sounded_ ugly.

"I'm with you," Lexi said, not a request to come along, but a statement of fact.

"Of course," I said, forcing a smile. "Now then, let's give the Pokémon league a run for its money, huh?

Author's Note

I _did_ promise it, didn't I? Well then, here we go: rejected names for our protagonist, Axel Jackson!

**First names using the surname 'Jackson'**

Andrew (I know… I'm awful)

Arthur

Maxwell

Angelo

Anton

Xavier (which would have led to a catchphrase: 'X gon' give it to ya')

**Surnames using the first name 'Axel'**

Maxwell

Maximillion

Jacobs

Jacobson

Xavier

Hale

**Completely different names**

Blake Ash

Charles Main

Hector Armstrong

Joshua Erikson

Joshua Hale

Purple (Anything) – As it's one of the few colors Pokémon hasn't used yet.

Pink (Anything) – Same Reason

Beige (Anything)

Tan (Anything)

Maroon (Anything) – Which I still kind of like, actually. I just wouldn't have been able to resist the temptation to have five of them appear at once.

- So as you can see, I have many bad ideas. So many, in fact, that it's statistically impossible for me not to have a good one! So it works out, I suppose. (Note to children: statistics does not work this way!)


	29. Chapter 28: A Giant

Disclaimer: _Own_ Pokémon? Man, you can't _own_ Pokémon! As if they were mere items to be gotten and traded away, like trading cards or tiny pixilated animals?

Wait… that happens? What have I been writing about?

**Chapter 28: A Giant**

Ye've got to understand, I've been trying to get the darned police to let me raid that Musket place for _years_ now. No matter how many times I'd tell 'em that those crooks had no place on my mountain, they always said the same thing: it's not yer mountain, Goliath, and we don't have no warrant. Infuriatin' as all hell, I'll tell ye that.

So when they came up to the top o' my mountain, told me they had a Trainer on the inside and that they'd need my help raidin' the place, I wasn't exactly goin' to turn the offer down. Finally, a chance to get the stench o'criminal scum out o' my air!

My job was simple: have my Bastiodon escort the police to prevent 'em from gettin' shot, have my Excadrill dig an escape route for the Trainer in case he needed it, and keep Ol' Reliable in reserve: just in case.

Granted, when I heard the crash coming from inside, I very nearly brought out Ol' Reliable and dug a hole down there myself! But Excadrill's always been a good 'un, and soon burst out o' the ground. I was expectin' the trainer to be the first one out, and so I actually let one o' those Musket bastards by me! Damn. Can't win 'em all though. I growled, grinding my fist into my hand to vent my anger, and turned my attention back to the tunnel. I could let _one_ go, I suppose, but I'd be damned if I let another one out!

Another one didn't come out, though, and instead the Trainer jogged out, lookin' a little bruised but otherwise fine. I locked eyes with him for a moment, looked at the Cyndaquil on his shoulder, and then back at him.

And slapped the living daylights out of him.

"I assume I deserved that?" Axel said, rubbing his sore cheek pathetically.

"_I thought you were dead!"_ I boomed, rage and relief filling my chest simultaneously. "_You haven't called in _years!_ Do you know how much they mourned for ye back home? I sent _flowers! _ME! I SENT FLOWERS!"_

"You… sent flowers?" Axel echoed, sinking to the ground in terror (and… exhaustion too, probably). "To _who?_"

"To _me,_" came a voice I hadn't heard in far too long. Amber ran over to Axel, assessing his wounds, while Vanna (what's she doin' here?) trailed behind, mopin' slightly. "And there's no need… I've already..." she stopped, eyes widenin' as she saw a blue Pokémon crawl out of the tunnel. "Totodile! There you are!" She quickly went from Axel to the Pokémon, huggin' it with that trademark death-grip. "Don't you ever run away like that again, understand?"

The Totodile growled. Never been the best behaved, that one.

Amber, taken aback, bit her lip to keep from speakin' out, as she's want to do. Lookin' at me, she said: "There's no need for the lecture, I've already give it to him."

I nodded. "Right then. Sorry Axel," I apologized; givin' a hearty laugh to show him my anger was gone. "No harm done, I hope."

"No more than twice as much as I'd taken up to this point…" I heard him mutter, and I laughed again. Vanna, however, was _still_ mopin', and I couldn't help but ask:

"What exactly's got _you_ down, Vanna? And, by the way, hello. Haven't seen you in a while… did you grow again? I swear you get prettier every time I see you."

"Thanks, Goldy," Vanna smiled. "And I know it's a bit silly, but… I was sort of looking forward to introducing you to Axel. I was going to look all connected and have this authoritative Gym Leader aura to me and everything! But, of course, you already know him." She frowned, but this time it was clearly just for show. "And _how_ exactly are you two acquainted?"

I hesitated, lookin' over to Amber, who was makin' the ol' 'don't say a word' slash across her throat. I could have told her she was doin' it in the wrong direction, though, because almost immediately, Axel blurted out: "He's Amber's dad."

Amber slumped visibly, and I laughed, which may seem odd to ye. But I've understood for years that Amber's not actually ashamed of bein' a Gold… it's just that a gym leader's daughter gets _constant_ Pokémon battle challenges, which Amber… doesn't _exactly_ appreciate, bein' a breeder.

That's _part_ of it anyway. As for the other part…

"Amber. Gold." Vanna pronounced, a smile playing across her lips. "What's your middle name, I wonder… Amarillo? Perhaps just plain _Yellow?"_

Amber didn't even have time to make the 'don't say a word' sign this time, as Axel _immediately _chimed in with: "Nothing like that… it's Marie."

Any sign that Vanna had been sad earlier was completely erased. "An _Amber Marigold_, huh? And for a redhead, to boot? Goldy, what were you _thinking?_"

"It's _entirely_ on her mother," I defended, escortin' the children away from the laboratory and back into Severna. "_I_ wanted to name her after Athena, over in Jinford… good friend o' mine, Athena, has been for years… but no, it _had_ to be Amber Marie. Somethin' about it bein' beautiful and _delicate._" I snorted, still findin' the concept hilarious. "Not that ye turned out delicate, eh Amber?"

"I couldn't exactly afford it, having to keep you and Axel in line, now could I?" my daughter replied, grinnin' at me slightly and widenin' those big, green eyes. Looks just like her mother when she does that, every time. It's times like this I miss home. "Speaking of which, Dad, you haven't been crushing _too_ may young trainer's dreams lately, have you? The League gets upset with you when you don't give out enough badges and you _know_ it."

"If a trainer isn't strong, they don't get a badge. Period. T_hat_ is how it's supposed to work, young lady, and I'd bloody well like to see the League try and do a thing about it!" I bellowed proudly, scaring off a herd of nearby Deerling. "Half of 'em probably couldn't even _reach_ my gym. Fat lot of fatties."

"Fat lot of fatties…" a Meditite said, rising to my eye level and floating in front of me. "_That's_ good. You're my kind of guy, Goldy."

"Only _close_ friends can call me that," I replied, the fact that it was a Pokémon not matterin' in the slightest. "And who _exactly_ might you be?"

"Medici, the Meditite," he said, holding out a hand. "I'm in charge when Axel's away. And a good bit of the time that he's here, too."

I looked down at Axel (not exactly hard, when you're 7' 7"). "Is that true?" I chortled.

"In a way…" he admitted, embarrassed. "I… uh… I've caught some pretty weird Pokémon over the years, G-man. You wouldn't believe."

"Well I'll _have to_ sooner or later, you _are_ comin' up the mountain to challenge the gym, right?" This may look like it was a question, but it really wasn't. Axel, havin' dealt with my non-commandin' commands for a good portion of his existence, knew immediately, and nodded vigorously. "Of course. I've been preparing for this _basically_ my entire life, you know?"

"Ach, I know, I know," I laughed, shovin' past the guard at the gate as he tried, stupidly, to check my identification. "But I warn ye, Axel. Jus' cause I've known you since you were a lad, I'm still goin' to smash your skull in if I have to. Rules be rules."

"Bring it," he grinned, crackin' his knuckles. "When I'm through with you, G-Man, your skull's gonna come _clean off."_

"Challenge accepted," I said, grabbing his hand and shaking it vigorously before he could object. "Don't make me wait for ye tomorrow."

"Day _after_ tomorrow," Amber chimed in, drawin' my attention. "We've sort of made plans for tomorrow."

"_She_ has a date. _We're_ completely free," Vanna interpreted, drawin' a scowl from Amber.

"Well, no… I've got to be there, you know," Axel jumped in. "If there's _any_ possibility of future matrimony, I have to approve. Done and done."

"Shouldn't _my_ opinion also be considered in all this?" I growled.

"Father…" Amber said, graspin' my hand and looking in my eyes as sweetly as she knew how. "Would you like to come have dinner with us tomorrow?"

"Now _that's_ more like it! About time you started talkin' about spendin' time with your old man!" I looked and Axel and Vanna, motioning for them to continue on with my head. "You two go on, move all your stuff over to Harrow Heights Hotel; tell 'em any room you want's on my tab, understand?"

"Oh, Goldy!" Vanna said, huggin' me quickly (much to Amber's disgruntlement). "You have _no_ idea how tired I was of sleeping in a tent. This is going to be fun! Come on, Axel, let's hurry!"

"But… even if we don't, will it really…" but they were already gone, the Gym Leader draggin' her trainer off despite all protests.

I turned to my daughter, clearin' my throat and pointin' at a nearby waterin' hole. There were words to be said. "In. Now. We need to talk, ye and I."

The Totodile, reluctantly stayin' within eyesight of Amber for the whole walk back, was now clingin' to the back of her leg like its life depended on it. Not that I blame it… I have that effect on most Charizards.

**Vanna**

I've always liked Harrow Heights Hotel. Whenever I come up to see Goldy for a Gym Leader's conference, this is _always_ the place I stay. I've always had a thing for the log cabin/mountain cottage feel, with exposed stained wooden beams and bearskin carpets… it's incredibly romantic.

Which is actually why staying is here, as lovely as it is, is usually a bit sad, since there's no one to share it with. I hope that, by this point, it's clear that I'm not the sort of person who would even _think_ of leading a man like Goliath on, and so it should follow that when I come up to Severna for conferences, I always room alone. I figured this year I'd at least be old enough to have some cocktails from the mini-fridge, and it wouldn't be so bad. Of course, now there's an entirely different issue to consider.

"So… I'm assuming we're going to get two rooms?" I asked, pausing in the luxurious lobby to get matters settled.

"Well, yeah, if you're planning on rooming with Amber," Axel said, slumping down onto a chaise lounge.

"Ah, no… actually, I thought you were…"

"Out of the question," he said immediately. "We don't room together. There are reasons."

"This isn't my fault, is it?" Medici asked, actually seeming a little concerned. "Because I'll room with Vanna if that's what's stopping it."

"No, it's not you…" Axel reassured him. "It's from _way_ before I knew you existed… actually, how old are you?"

"I'm turning three soon, I think…" Medici frowned. "Of course, I only think I'm two because that's what Professor Redwood aged me at. "

"Ah, that's right," Axel said, smacking his forehead… and cringing from the resulting pain. "Then yeah… might have been before you were even born."

"And, I assume you're not going to tell me what happened?" I asked, curiosity piqued, but understanding why this would be private.

"Exactly," Axel smiled. "Thanks for understanding, Vanna." He paused, nodding. "Three rooms, then. We might as well, since it's all on G-man's tab."

I nodded, standing up to go the front desk, but couldn't quite leave. For most of the night, there'd been a question burning in my chest, and I couldn't think of any better time to ask it but now.

"Axel…" I began, turning back to face the lazing trainer. "Um… there's something I wanted to ask you, actually."

"Go on," he invited.

"Well…" I paused. Why did this feel so awkward? It really shouldn't be. "When you were working your way into Team Musket's base, I sort of… heard you talking to that girl." I bit my lip unconsciously, and Axel sat up straight, most likely anticipating what I was about to ask. "You said something about how I… how I was just looking for a good time or… something." I looked at him. "Did you… really mean that?"

"Of course not," he said without hesitation. "I was just making it up on the spot, you know?"

This didn't convince me. "_You?_ Made something up on the spot?" I sighed. "I want to believe that, but you're not exactly the kind of person who can _do_ that… no offense." I paused. "I'm just worried that, even if you _were_ making it up, some of it was based on truth, and I don't want you to think…"

"I already told you, I didn't mean it, ok?" Axel reassured me, though not quite meeting my eyes. "It's just that… I had to give _some_ reason why I wasn't with you, you know? And there really aren't any good ones to choose from."

Judging from his startled reaction to my gasp, I don't think Axel really understood what he'd just said. Could it be that he hadn't meant it the way it sounded? No… it's Axel. The more likely is that he was just failing at being discrete, letting on more than he thought he was.

I do sort of like that about him. It gives me _oh_ so much material to tease him with.

"No good reason, huh?" I said, putting on a coy smile to drive him crazy. "Axel, I'm flattered, really, but it's just not good to think like that. We're _travelling companions_, after all. How would we deal with things going wrong? How would _Amber_ feel?"

He turned immediately red, and began to sputter. "Wait, hold on… that's not what I meant! All I was saying was…"

I put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "I understand, Axel," I said, sighing dramatically. "And perhaps, another time, another set of circumstances, things could work out differently." I struck a pose, flopping a hand across my forehead as if pained. It'd been a while since I'd done this, and I'm not ashamed to admit I was having fun. "But alas! It just won't do. I hope you understand."

Axel opened his mouth, trying to explain himself, but eventually closed it. "I understand," he nodded, admitting defeat. "I'll go reserve the rooms."

As he went up to the front desk, I looked after him, smiling to myself and hoping he didn't notice.

Forgive me, Axel. One of these days, almost certainly, but let me have a little fun first, ok? It's the only way I know.

Author's Note

Query: Did you know that looking over stuff that you rejected can be a good creative exercise?

It's true! Looking over what I could have named Axel spurred some surprisingly decent creative juices within me! (Mind out of the gutter, all you people… oh you weren't thinking that? But now you are and OH GOOD GOD YOU CAN'T GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD? You're welcome. No, I'm not going to close the parentheses.

… Wow. I might actually not have filters. I should get that checked out.

But anyway, because I can (since this isn't really part of the story), here's rejected names for the two Gym Leaders introduced so far: Vanna Albright and Goliath Gold.

Vanna Albright:

Vanna was originally going to be a quiet, unassuming type character, pure and untouched. Some of the names reflect that early line of thinking (which was, as you can probably tell, scrapped).

Clara (or Clarabelle) Soule

Clara (or Clarabelle) Brighton

Innocence Soule (Too obvious)

Anna Saint-Soule (Barely less obvious)

Guinevere Gooding

Jezebel Scanner

Jezebel Hook (which was just… no. Too extreme.)

Vanna Gooding

Vanna Brighton

Goliath Gold:

Goliath, on the other hand, was always supposed to be a giant, hulking man. I picture him having a Scottish accent. Did you get that from reading?

Talor MacPhail

Titus Andrews (Shakespeare fans, laugh: and cringe at the implications)

Gorgon Tenor

Hugo MacPhail

Hugo Brawn

Titus Brawn

Hector Armstrong (A name I've rejected for _many_ characters, it seems.)

As you can see, none of these ideas were very good. Which is why, though it stung a bit of cliché, I ended up going with the whole "David and Goliath' motif. It's so original, isn't it? Though in my defense, Axel isn't named David. And he's not exactly diminutive in any way. So I'm only using half a cliché, which makes it somewhat original, right? Right?

Then again… fan fiction. So probably not.

Viva la feminism?


	30. Chapter 29: Bargaining

Disclaimer:

Max:

_Sometime 'round eleven… waking up at last_

_Slap a pair of sweatpants on and run my way to class_

_Got to do my homework… half of it's all wrong_

_Got to find the piece of mind to trudge my way along_

_Got no medication… for my attention span_

_But I can write a story like the mother f***ing man._

_(Catchy whistling interlude… oh yeah… that sounds good. Right? Now we've got a little guitar in there, some bongo… and…)_

_SKYLER!_

_Life is too short, so don't sit out and rot_

_Cause the weather's decent and the girls are hot_

_Never be dramatic, try to work out all that stress_

_Go up in your attic; find a gentleman's vest_

_Let me tell you something, take a tip from me_

_Take an afternoon and catch up on your BBC_

_Nothing's what I got, that be all I own_

_Not Nintendo, not a Jaguar, not even my own home_

_But I'm still kind of young, so that isn't a big concern_

_Chapters left to write, lessons left to learn_

_Nothing's what I got; don't start a riot_

_And later we'll go to Big Lots. NOT._

Max:

_Nothing… is what I got._

_I said remember that. Nothing… is what I got._

_I said remember that. Nothing… is what I got._

_I said remember that. Nothing… is what I got._

_(What I got… what I got… what I got…)_

_So don't you cry if the chapter turns up late_

_It just takes time to make sure it turns out so great_

_Please don't get angry if it's not so hot_

_Cause my creative juices sometimes tend to clot_

_Hell if I know where I'm going with this_

_But then my ignorance has always led to great bliss_

_Leave a comment, leave a comment, I love you all._

_Kind of._

I think the point of this was… we're back? We're most certainly back.

**Chapter 29: Bargaining**

**Amber**

Being the daughter of a Gym Leader is more of a pain then you might think.

It's not _just_ that people's gut reaction is to challenge me to a Pokémon battle... as annoying as that is, I can deal with that. It's not even the fact that Dad has to be away from home longer than most fathers… that never really left a void, for reasons that I'll probably touch on soon enough.

The discouraging thing is the awkward way people treat you when they realize that you're _someone_… or someone's kid anyway. It's almost as if they're afraid to treat you like a normal human being, on the off chance your opinion of them will drastically alter the course of their life. So you get treated with forced politeness, and people awkwardly shuffle their feet for a minute, can't think of what to say, and excuse themselves, saying 'it was really nice to meet you.'

Have you ever told a friend of yours that "it was really nice to meet" them? Of course not. For all its niceties, it implies that you don't ever intend on seeing the person again. In my experience, that _always_ turned out to be true when I was growing up.

Albeit one very important exception, of course: Axel. He said those _exact words_ the first time we ever met (almost fourteen years ago, now…), and even as a four-year-old, I knew enough to never expect to see him again. Which is why it surprised me when he came over to my house the next day.

"I thought you said it was really nice to meet me?" I remember asking him, eyes opened wide in surprise and excitement.

"Yup!" He had nodded vigorously. "Which is why I decided to do it again!" He stuck out his hand, grinning wider than any boy I'd ever met. "It's really nice to meet you, Amber! Even if you _do_ have cooties."

I don't like to think of how lonely I'd have been without him.

Interrupting my thoughts, the bartender slammed a whiskey sour in front of me, and I immediately glanced up to my father, who (from the looks of the empty shot glasses) had already slammed back four or five. This may seem excessive, but Dad's been known to drink entire bottles of whiskey and be under the legal limit for driving, so… at best, this is giving him a fourth of a buzz.

"Why're ye here?" he asked, in that gruff tone of his that wasn't quite anger, but close.

"You brought me in here to talk, remember?" I responded, acting oblivious.

He wasn't fooled. "Don't act like ye don't know what I'm talkin' about," he said, slamming back another whiskey for emphasis. "Why aren't ye back in Pembrook? Don't tell me Hank and your mother actually _let_ you leave home in a time like this?"

"It took a bit of convincing, but they eventually saw things my way," I asserted. "I needed to know, Dad. I couldn't bear just sitting around, wondering if Axel was dead or not."

"Well he's _not_," Dad growled. "So ye've got no excuse anymore. Ye should head back to Pembrook, where it's safe." He shook the bottle in front of him, then nodded to himself and poured again. "Besides, knowin' your mother like I do, she only let ye leave because she knew ye'd be runnin' into me."

"Be that as it may… I'm not going back home, Dad." I said firmly. I tried to pipe up immediately, to try and explain my reasoning, but Dad… was never one for that sort of thing."

"_I wasn't askin'_," he boomed, immediately causing some of the other customers to faint from fright. "_I am not lettin' my little girl wander 'round the world with that murdering bastard on the loose, you understand me?"_

"Dad, I _know_ it's dangerous," I said quickly. "But that's _why_ I have to keep going! The moment I go back, I go right back to wondering whether he's dead or not. I can't _live_ with that, Dad!"

"Axel can take care of himself," Dad grumbled. "The Lord looks after his idiots. Though is you keep talkin' like you _know_ how dangerous it is, ye might qualify yourself!"

"I _do_ know how dangerous it is, Dad…"

"_Ye can't _possibly_!" _he yelled, shaking the walls of the room. "_Ye haven't _seen_ him, Amber… ye haven't witnessed what kind of twisted, sick mind he…"_

"But I have, Dad…" I said quietly. His eyes widened, looking at me with a mixture of wonder and fright I'd never seen on him before.

"Ye… ye _have?_" he whispered, unlike him.

I nodded strongly, fighting the urge to cry at the memories. "I was in Cliffkiln when Deathbreath attacked… and Death himself came for us while we were travelling through Oakridge Forest." I nodded again, trying to show my resolve. "Axel… Axel _fought him off. _Both times. Even if I can't survive on my own, I've get him and Vanna protecting me… so I'll be fine, Dad."

Father looked at me for a little, then impulsively poured and drank another shot of whiskey. Looking at the shot glass with a frown, he threw it across the bar, instead picking up the bottle and drinking straight from it. He gulped down a few mouthfuls, and then stopped to take a breath, looking me in the eye. "Well… you're _my_ daughter after all. I can't expect you to listen to reason."

He put his arm around me, drawing me in close. "But ye _are_ my daughter, understand? I can't just let ye back out into the world, knowin' what's out there."

I started to protest, but he but a hand up, signaling me to just listen. "So I'm gonna have Axel take the Trial tomorrow. If he wins, then I'll feel good about lettin' him protect ye. If he _loses_, ye go back to Pembrook, no ifs, ands, or buts. Do we have a deal?"

I smiled, hugging him. "That's more than fair, Dad." I whispered; taking my whiskey sour and slamming it back like a true Gold.

**Medici**

I'm not exactly open with my feelings, but I can't hold back any longer. I'm in love. There, happy?

This hotel is, by far, the greatest thing ever. Jacuzzis in the rooms, heated swimming pool, _two gyms_ (to work out in, not to fight in), and five star room service, all while feeling like you're sleeping in some isolated cabin in the mountains. It's so damn posh I could cry.

The couch I'm sleeping on, in particular, is more comfortable than _any other piece of furniture I've ever slept on._ Of course, I've slept on wooden crates, bookshelves, and inside suitcases before, so that might not be saying much.

I don't _like_ my Pokéball, ok? It might be plenty spacious but it's not… comfortable. I don't know why. Shelly says it might be rooted in my childhood. Inigo says I have a wanton desire to rebel against conformity that I should try and keep checked. Qwil says _BUT YOUR POKÉBALL IS SO COMFY AND SPACIOUS AND WELL I'VE NEVER BEEN IN IT BECAUSE POKÉBALLS DON'T WORK THAT WAY, BUT IF I WAS THEN I WOULD…._

I have the _greatest team ever._

Is what I'd normally say, but now there's an additional member. Deathwing. _Freaking Deathwing! _I mean, I always joke about Axel not being able to hate anyone _but I'm starting to think that it's true._ And it's a bad thing, from the looks of it.

People _died_ in that laboratory. Criminals, yes, but _still._ Does Axel honestly think he can take a heartless murderer and integrate it into our team like it's nothing? I mean, he's an idiot, but he's always at least shown some _common sense._

I say that, but now I realize even that's not true. There's a reason _I'm_ the brains of the operation, I suppose.

While the part of me that never falls asleep was actively thinking these thoughts, the rest of me was perfectly content, snoring away on a couch that put the Big Red Comfy one from TV to shame. Which is why, when Axel shook me awake after he got back from the gym, I was kind of ticked.

That didn't last long, though, because he looked at me with the eyes that said 'I _am_ your trainer, don't forget that', and I calmed down pretty quickly. He jokingly told me to get dressed, and then beckoned me to follow him with a quick jerk of the head. He led me out of the hotel and into the city, the biting cold air melding deliciously with the scent of open pit barbeque and wood chips... from the open pit BBQ. Open. Pit. BBQ.

"We're going to stop for some open pit barbeque, right?" I asked Axel, mouth drooling.

Axel laughed. "Duh." We stopped by a local street vendor, picking up something called 'Midas Touch Ribs' and… oh… oh my God. The succulent tenderness, coated in a sweet, burning sauce that ends with the slightest, almost teasing touch of honey and pepper… Harrow Heights Hotel, I'm sorry… but I'm in love again. Perhaps we can have an open relationship?

After this, Axel led me to the Pokémon Center. I was about to tell him I was fine, and didn't need the rest, but he never asked… he handed the nurse a single Pokéball, nodding his thanks.

It was Deathwing's, of course.

"_Are you CRAZY?"_ I whispered harshly. "_If you let that thing get back to full strength, it'll kill us all!"_

"It's not a 'thing' or an 'it', Medici," Axel said with a smile. "Though since we don't know its gender yet, I suppose 'it' is what we're left with, huh?"

"You _are_ crazy," I moaned.

"Not entirely," he defended. "I made sure to bring you along, just in case things get out of control."

I tried to stay angry, regardless of how flattered I was. It didn't quite work.

The nurse eventually returned, looking a little flustered, but nevertheless carrying the Pokéball, bowing to Axel and saying 'we hope to see you again!' Axel saluted the nurse, and led me out of the center, then out of the city, explaining himself to the guard before leaving. When we were a fair distance away from Severna, he turned to me.

"Be on your guard, just in case," he ordered. "But don't do anything unless it's _absolutely necessary_ either."

I nodded, readying my mind to let loose wave upon wave of energy. Axel took a deep breath, grabbed Deathwing's Pokéball off of his belt, and tossed it.

There was an eruption of light, and the enormous Thing burst forth, nearly knocking down trees simply by existing. It let out a loud screech, stomped forward on the ground, and stared, waiting for Axel to do something.

"So… now that you've had time to think about it…"Axel said, staring right back at the Beast without flinching. "What is your name?"

The enormous Skarmory paused for a moment, seething to itself. Then it said something I'd never expected, and I nearly fell over in shock.

Axel's head snapped towards me. "Medici? What did it say?"

"It said…" I thought about it again, just to make sure I hadn't mistranslated. But of course I hadn't. "It said… that it doesn't know. That it doesn't really have a name."

I thought Axel would force the thing back into its Pokéball. I didn't think he'd _ever_ smile at it.

"That's exactly right!" He cheered. "You _don't_ really have a name anymore, do you? That thing that was called Deathwing, it used to be in your body, but it's not entirely there anymore, is it? You can sort of see which parts of you were that, but you're finding that more and more of you is something different, right?"

The beast said nothing, but sort of nodded. I was amazed.

"Isn't that a great feeling?" Axel smiled. "You've got a blank slate again, you know? You can choose where to go and what to do from here, and it doesn't have to be the path you _were_ on." His smile faded a little. "I mean, that doesn't mean the things you've done will go away… but you certainly won't be able to forgive yourself if you keep doing them, am I right?"

He held up his Pokéball. "Let's make a deal. You stay in your Pokéball for as long as you need, and think up what your name should be. Then when you're ready, you tell me what you should be called." He smiled again, being almost sickeningly nice to the thing. "Trust me. All right?"

The Skarmory stared for a minute, and I could tell it was thinking of skewering Axel right there. But it wasn't _just_ thinking that… there was an active battle going on in its head… if it wasn't a Steel type, it probably would have been sweating. Eventually, after almost a minute, it collapsed into red light, returning to the ball.

"You are _dangerously _stupid," I said immediately.

"I have to be," Axel laughed. "Death's dangerously smart, and I can't be anything like him."

Well… thank goodness for that, I suppose.

**Toto**

It's all my fault, isn't it?

_I wouldn't say that_, the friendly voice said soothingly. _If that _human_ of yours that supposedly looks after you had paid more attention, you never would have been there in the first place._

But she _did_ come looking for me, didn't she?

_She came because it was part of Axel's plan. Remember how surprised she was to see you amongst the wreckage? It's likely she didn't even realize you were gone until that moment._

Right.

_Right._

It wasn't me.

_Certainly not. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, because of the negligence of human beings. It was also a human who decided to unleash Deathwing, even though he knew the risk._

But the fact that I was there _let_ him do that! If I hadn't been there…

_Which was a _human's_ fault._

… right. If I hadn't been there, then maybe… maybe they could have lived.

_But does that really matter? They're _humans_ after all, and to top it off they were torturing Axel._

Axel's human…

_Axel is Axel. You've said as much, and I'm beginning to agree. He's the exception that proves the rule, and other humans know it. Why do you think they constantly berate him; treat him like he isn't quite one of them?_

Because he's not. He's _better._

_Exactly. He's what human beings _could_ be, were they not incapable of reaching that point. He's one amongst millions, so there's no possible way they could _evolve_ into him unless…_

Unless?

_Unless their numbers… dropped._

I gulped, turning over in bed as I mulled over the possibility. A world where more humans were like Axel… as much as I didn't like humans, this still struck me as better than a world with no humans whatsoever…

Or do I think that way because I'm not strong enough?

_If it's strength you desire, I can give it to you._ The friendly voice whispered. I waited, listening for either the angel or devil to appear on my other shoulder, but nothing came. Perhaps… this voice was both?

'What do I have to do?' I asked it.

_Leave everything behind and follow me. Rest assured, I will make you as a fisher of men._

I looked over at Amber; the human who'd raised me, but had never quite… _understood. _Was the feeling welling up in my chest… hatred? I had to be sure before deciding.

'Soon.' I whispered tentatively.

_I'll wait as long as you need_ it lulled before I faded into sleep.

Author's Note: Because I can?

It would appear that we're back. What's that about?

Well, spring break wasn't quite as conducive to working as I might have hoped. And then there were after-break exams, homework… bleh. I'm putting homework off right now because I feel bad about not updating. JUST SO THOU KNOWEST.

Continuing what I suppose is an author's note tradition now; it's time for alternate character names!

Amber

Amber has always been a straightforward, direct girl, but with a hint of opaqueness as well. Loyalty is a big thing for her: she won't let go of you unless you flat out tell her to get out of your life. So I experimented with a few names that sort of reflecting this, before Amber sort of dawned on me as… duh, perfect.

(Because amber is almost, but not quite see through, and it can trap things inside of it? Was that… was that clear?)

Diamond Gold

Diamond Loyola

Dia Gold/Loyola

Faith Archer

Clara/Clarabelle Faith

Norma Faith

Norma Gold

Faith Hart

… Yeah. I kind of suck at names. But Amber was a keeper, and then Marie Gold came almost immediately afterwards. Because… I sort of think that way. To be honest, though, I kind of still like Faith Archer. Has a decent ring to it.

Percy Garrison

Even him, huh? Yup. They're all names for rich, spoiled brats.

Richard Garrison

Richard Wellington

Wellington Richards

Percy Wellington

Harrison Afford (awful, I know)

Percy Harrison

Anton Wellington

Bradford Richards

… The list goes on. I have a lot of these sorts of names on the top of my head. I only listed the first couple.

Leave a review and let me know you care! There's plenty more coming!


	31. Chapter 30: Peak Performance

Disclaimer: The time has come, Amaxing said, to own the Pokemans.

Nintendo sued, Amaxing booed: "Catch me if you can!"

It didn't end well.

**Chapter 30: Peak Performance**

**Skyler**

I was going to meet her today

And though I can't really say

How it would have gone

I can't help but think on

How her smile made me feel yesterday

It would have been great, come what may

But there's sorrow now; that I can't sate

And I must, before it is too late

Try to walk down the path

That Aggie would have

Me pursue, against all other fates

… I've become all those men that I hate

Next I see her, I'll try to explain

Try to show the full depths of my pain

And I'll try, with a sigh

To convince her that I

Didn't leave her for something inane

And to do so would be just insane

But for now, I'll just have to pretend

That things will shake out in the end

I might sit for a while

Work out a freestyle

That can try, but can't possibly mend

This shattered, emotionless rend

**Amber**

I'd almost _expected_ him not to come.

I mean, really, who hits on someone at a grocery store, and then follows through with all of the honey-tongued promises they've spun for this random girl?

Sitting in the park waiting for him, though… with Father at one end of the table and Axel at the other (and Vanna next to me, for some reason)… it still hurt like hell. When he'd been late for an hour, Vanna actually touched my arm, comforting me. After we'd delayed for two hours, I finally told Medici to start cooking, fighting back whatever tears were forming.

As I've said, though, I'm used to people not coming back after they've met me the first time. So it doesn't hurt _that_ much.

… It shouldn't, anyway.

… I don't really want to talk about it anymore, ok?

**Vanna**

I swear to God, I will _kill_ this guy if I ever meet him!

It was Goldy who yelled this at the table, of course, but I was thinking it too. There is _no good reason_ to leave a girl like Amber hanging like that, and anyone who thinks so shouldn't be breathing my air!

Sorry. I'm more defensive of Amber than I thought I'd be, seeing how short the time I've spent with her is. That doesn't change the truth of it, though! She's smart, and gutsy, and _beautiful_… if this were a video game, _she'd_ be the primary love interest! Guys are supposed to _drool_ over women like her!

Huh. I'm more complimentary of Amber than I though I'd be, too. Looking back at what I just said, I might have to reevaluate where I lie on the Kinsey scale…

It can't be _too_ big an adjustment, though, because I still find Axel adorable. The morning before his Gym Battle with Goldy, for example, he knocked on my door hesitantly, as if he thought I wouldn't want to see him so early in the morning.

"Hey, Vanna…" he said, shuffling his feet as I opened the door. "Remember how, when we met Goldy, you got upset about not being able to introduce us?"

I cocked my head playfully, looking more confused than I actually was. "Oh? What about it, Axel?"

"Well, even though I _know_ Goliath, I don't actually know a whole lot about how he fights so…" he paused, flashing a smile. "If you wanted to seem all connected and in the know, you could tell me about how he uses his Pokémon."

The thought flashed cross my mind that this was a lie, and he really just wanted to make me feel better about the whole situation. Either way, who was I _not_ to share some insider tips?

"Goliath Gold," I started, wishing I had a chalkboard to teach with. "Is a Gym Leader who likes his Pokémon as big and strong as he is. He primarily uses Ground and Steel type Pokémon, for their sturdiness. He demands greatness from anyone who challenges his Gym… first having them climb Mt. Harrow in order to get to it, and then having them fight the Pokémon that he still has from his stint on the Elite four."

I shook my head. "He's supposed to use the Pokémon the league specifies, of course, but he doesn't care. In fact, if he thinks a trainer shows enough promise, he'll have them undergo an extra challenging fight, just because."

"What kind of fight?" Axel asked with a gulp.

"It varies…" I said. "Sometimes it's just a double battle, sometimes he makes the entire battle a one-on-one with his best Pokémon… that legendary Rhydon of his. You know, the one that can move trains?"

"Choo Choo!" Axel exclaimed.

"What?"

"I knew it when it was just a Rhyhorn, you know? I'd ride on its back sometimes when G-man came to visit, and I'd always call it 'Choo Choo' cause it was like riding on a train."

The image of a younger Axel, wind whipping through his black hair as the Rhyhorn galloped around his backyard… it was almost too cute to bear. I stopped myself from blushing (a skill I'd gotten from much, _much_ practice) and continued teaching. "Yes, well, I'd imagine you know first hand how powerful it can be, then."

"And yet also how gentle too…" he said, still nostalgic.

I wasn't _that_ good at stopping myself from blushing. Desperate, I switched topics. "Shouldn't you be checking on Amber?" It was a pressing enough concern that I didn't have to _make_ it seem important. "I know you were with her a good portion of yesterday, but… shouldn't you see if she made it through the night?"

"I've got Shelligan and Medici with her," he responded quickly. "I told her that I'd put off my battle for another day if she wanted to just… well, I don't even know." He shrugged. "But she was adamant: I've got to do this today. She won't be joining us, though…" He frowned, and for once seemed to be deep in thought.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"I've never had an actual Pokémon battle without her there," he mused. "I mean, I've fought Death's Pokémon without her, but as far as actual one-on-ones with Trainers… she's always been there to cheer me on."

"Well…" I said coyly, looping an arm around his. "I suppose I'll just have to do my best to take her place, at least for today. Is that acceptable?"

He turned beet-red, but other than that, maintained his composure. "Entirely," he smiled, leading me off to… the continental breakfast bar. Can't battle on an empty stomach, now can you?

Climbing up Mt. Harrow again, though, wasn't easy. Part of it was because of what had happened… I noticed Axel avert his eyes and keep his head down when we passed Team Musket's Lab… or, well, where it had been. I'm almost glad he didn't feel pride in what he'd done, regardless of how criminal and immoral the things going on there had been. Relishing destruction of any kind… it'd make him seem more similar to _him._

The other half of it, though, was the fact that after a certain point, Mount Harrow is _really hard to climb._ There's a reason the league gets after Goldy to move its location every year… getting to the top actually involved scaling a sheer cliff face. A small one, but large enough to weed quite a few people out. There _is_ an elevator that can take people up the cliff, but a sign posted by Goldy clearly states that this is only for non-challengers, or challengers who are physically disabled.

Though I wasn't a challenger, I figured I'd try climbing up the face anyway. Medici's cooking was quite rich, and I wanted to make sure I hadn't packed on any extra pounds when I wasn't looking. Finding a foothold (well worn from previous Trainers' climbs) I pulled myself up on to the wall and began climbing at a reasonable pace. Not quite as fast as I'd remembered doing it, but enough to put my mind at ease. I hadn't gotten _too_ soft.

You'll notice I went up before Axel. This was intentional. I wore jeans, though; so don't look down on me _too_ much. Axel (who, from what I could tell, could have _easily_ passed me on the side) seemed quite content staying behind me, too, so he's not exactly innocent either.

The cliff served as a dividing line, of sorts. While the part of the mountain beneath it had plenty of coniferous trees, bushes dotting the path's side, and plenty of Rattatas, Sentrets, and Digletts scurrying about, the part above it was almost bare. The occasional sapling took root here and there, and some larger bird Pokémon made nests there, swooping down to catch a meal every now and again.

It was bitingly cold, and Axel, ever the gentleman, immediately offered me his jacket once he'd reached the top. I accepted, of course, but almost felt a little disappointed. The cold really didn't seem to affect him, so this wasn't exactly a sacrifice… but that's a bit too horrible of a thought, even for me. My apologies.

We walked upwards for a little while longer, until we reached the true top of the mountain. The sun was at its peak by this point, and we could easily see the gym sprawled out before us.

Axel gulped. "There's… um… there aren't any walls to that Gym, huh?"

I smiled. "Don't worry," I whispered. "Though he never outright says it, Goldy has nets set up to catch Pokémon or people, just in case they get thrown off." My smile turned a bit devious, as I decided to have a little fun. "For the most part, they're pretty effective, but every now and again…"

Axel shrugged, walking towards the gym. Apparently, he wasn't worried.

Good for him. Because, if I'm honest, I'm terrified of how this will turn out.

**Qwill**

I'm kind of scared to fight against Daddy.

I know it might seem odd to call Daddy daddy and not Axel Daddy, but keep in mind that Amber was the one who raised me, and Goliath was Amber's dad for a good bit until somebody else became Amber's dad but Daddy was still there when I was growing up and he was always demanding and sort of mean. Axel wasn't there from the very beginning and he's always been more caring and treated me like I was an equal person and so he's more of a big brother to me and not a daddy which is why I call Daddy daddy and not him.

I think he sort of resented Amber raising a Cyndaquil for Axel and not a Geodude or a Rhyhorn or an Onix or another one of the 'strong' Pokémon, as he always calls them and so I started off on the wrong foot by just being born and also he was angry because my Daddy Daddy as in the one who made me with Mommy left a lot of paint stains around the house or at least that's what Amber says happened because I never actually got to meet him but a lot of Pokémon don't so that's ok I guess.

He didn't understand why I was living with them when I was Axel's Pokémon and he didn't want to have to be paying for and feeding such a 'weakling', 'spud', 'runt', or another word that made me feel bad and crawl inside my room and whenever I did something wrong during training or I accidentally knocked into something in the house or whenever I just wouldn't sit still because I can't stand still he'd be there yelling at me: "_Ye good for nothin' Son of a Smeargle, straighten yourself out! You're a waste of space!" _and other stuff like that.

The whole reason I started living with Axel is because he heard Goliath yelling at me one day and tried to calm him down and Goliath got angrier and so Axel actually got angry which he almost never does and he took me away right then and there and ok maybe I didn't eat as well after that and my bed wasn't as comfortable but I was happy because Axel was always nice to me and Amber would always sneak me food because she cared about me and I was able to train and get stronger without Daddy looking down on me!

I let Axel know that I wanted to fight Daddy, though, because as scared as I am to fight him I sort of feel that if I can beat him single-handedly and stuff then he has to acknowledge me and take back all the stuff he said about how I wasn't strong and stuff which would make me feel really good and proud and it gets Axel the Gym Badge too and so I have to win even if Amber isn't there!

I'm… I'm going to win, Daddy!

**Goliath**

"First thing this mornin', a young trainer named Axel Jackson will be arrivin'," I told my subordinates, grouped together on the massive set of bleachers where crowds had already started gatherin' (not much else to do in this town, once the novelty wears off). None of ye are permitted to have at 'em, understand? I've known him since he was a wee lad, and I want to see how much he's grown. Got it?"

No one questioned my decision. I hadn't expected them to; in fact, I'm pretty sure most of 'em were glad for the time off.

No sooner had they all settled in their seats then did I see Axel crest the top of the mountain, reachin' the top sooner than I'd thought he would. I laughed, pleased at how much I'd underestimated him, and tensed with excitement. I'd been waitin' too long for this.

"Axel Jackson!" I boomed, quietin' the crowds and stoppin' the lad in his tracks. "It's about time ye got here, son. Enter!"

Axel obeyed, knowing better than to not, and Vanna followed closely behind 'em. I squinted, lookin' to see if Amber had just fallen behind, but knew that wasn't the case. At the very least, Axel wouldn't have let her trail like that.

"Where's my daughter?" I told him to answer.

"Back at the hotel, with Medici and my Squirtle, Shelligan," Axel replied quickly. "She didn't quite feel up to coming, after what happened yesterday, and she _would not_ let be skip out on fighting you today."

I laughed. "That sounds like my daughter, all right," I kept my face light for a moment, and then suddenly put on a stern expression. A few people in the crowd started, but Axel just nodded. "Though on the subject, Jackson, there's somethin' I'd like to discuss…"

"Can't exactly say no, can I?" Axel responded.

"Good lad," I said. "As ye must know, the world's not exactly safe right now. A trainer like you _has_ to be out on the road right now, I understand that, and I'm not particularly worried about Vanna… she can take of herself."

"You _know _it, Goldy," the young lass asserted.

I chuckled, but kept my serious composure. "My daughter's a different story though, Axel. By her nature, she isn't capable of fendin' off Death by herself. She told me that _ye_ fought him off when he came, and…" my voice caught in my throat. Somethin' that didn't happen often, let me tell ye. "And I thank you for that. But nevertheless, that was _one Pokémon_, and ye barely survived." I held up a Pokéball menacingly. "I can't let Amber travel along with ye anymore, unless I _know_ you're strong enough to protect her. So I'll be modifyin' the rules of our challenge a wee bit."

Axel nodded. "I'll take on anything you got, Goldy."

"One Pokémon," I stated, holdin' up a finger. "That's all I'll allow ye to use in this match. One Pokémon, versus the three o' mine I've picked out."

Vanna began to protest, but Axel put a hand up, quietin' her. "I accept," he stated. "But are you sure you only want to use three?"

I laughed, lettin' the sound echo down the mountain and into Severna. "Well at least you're cheeky, that's a start." I whipped my head over to the referee, nodding. I turned back to Axel, throwin' my Pokéball into the ring as I did so. "_Show me what you've got, spud!"_ I yelled.

He pulled his cap around backwards. "_Bring it!"_ he yelled. "_Get out there, Qwill!"_

_**Gym Leader Goliath Would Like To Battle!**_

He _would._

Even knowin' that my Pokémon are mostly Ground types, and seein' how powerful that Treecko of his is, he _still_ went with the little runt my daughter raised for him. Strategically idiotic, yes, but I'd have been disappointed if he'd done otherwise.

Ah well, all the easier for my Excadrill to bore through.

At this point in my career, I didn't even have to give my Pokémon commands. The giant mole immediately clanged its claws together, burrowin' its way underground. Qwill, in turn, started runnin' around the field like a madman, dartin' to and fro at lightnin' speeds. In addition to this Agility, it also began Double Teaming, filling the field with dozen o' illusory copies.

A typical misdirection strategy. I refrained from laughin', lettin' Axel and Qwill think for just a _wee_ bit longer that their plan would work.

Then I stomped my foot on the ground, and Drillbit immediately burst out from directly under the poor little runt. Qwill gave a loud yelp as my Excadrill slashed at it with one of its sharp claws. Not missin' a beat, he grappled the Cyndaquil with his other free claw, lettin' gravity aid him in smashin' the thing to the ground; usin' it as the epicenter for a minor Earthquake.

I'm not playin' around, if you couldn't tell. The Cyndaquil, stunned only for a moment, let loose a furious column of flame, but by that point my Pokémon was already underground again.

"Fine then," I heard Axel mutter on the other side of the field. "Qwill!" He yelled. "Don't do anything!"

The hell?

Qwill, obedient to a fault, did as he was told, standin' completely still save for his normal hyperactive fidgetin'. Slammin' a foot down on the ground repeatedly like that was almost _beckonin'_ to have Drillbit find it, and no sooner did I stomp again then did he burst out of the ground, ready to slash at it further.

Qwill was more prepared this time, sheathin' itself in flame with a classic Fire Wheel maneuver and attemptin' a Counter. I say attempt, because that's all it was: Excadrill, despite his size, is nimble as an Electrike. It was a perfect repeat of last time, endin' with the Cyndaquil sprawled across the ground again; the only difference was that Drillbit scorched his claws a wee bit. Pathetic.

I was beginnin' to worry: had Qwill come all this way to fail so early? I'd expected as much, I suppose, and at least Amber would be safe this way. I sighed as the Pokémon started runnin' again, switchin' back to the strategy that _already _hadn't worked.

"NOW!" Axel yelled, startlin' me. "SUPER MEGA ULTRA JUMP!"

The hell?

Idiotic as the command was, the Pokémon obeyed, leapin' into the air… quite an impressive amount, actually. Never would have thought a runt like that could leap more than twenty feet.

"Now finish the job, Qwill!" Axel yelled. "SKY ATTACK!"

I couldn't control myself. I burst out laughin', but more out of anger than anythin' else. "If you're not gonna take this seriously, Axel, let's just call it right now!" I boomed, drawin' shouts of agreement from the disappointed crowd.

"Not yet," I heard the lad say. The Cyndaquil cloaked itself in flame and jettisoned to the ground, crashin' into it so hard it left a small crater. I heard it grunt in pain; _of course_ it hadn't broken through to where Excadrill was. What were they thinkin'?

And then, in response to hearin' a mighty stomp, Excadrill burst out o' the ground, some twenty feet in front o' where the Cyndaquil was. It caterwauled through the air, clawin' at nothin', and I yelled at it desperately, tryin' to get it go underground before it was too late.

But Qwill, full of life as ever, was already leapin' towards its exposed form. "_FIRE BLAST!" _Axel yelled, and thousand-degree heat tore from the Pokémon's mouth, consumin' Drillbit completely. Dazed from the attack, it couldn't respond properly when the Cyndaquil got right next to it. With a loud cry, Qwill planted one of its wee feet onto my Excadrill's belly and shoved, Stompin' it back into the ground with force _brutally_ disproportionate to its tiny body.

Stickin' its mouth into the hole left behind by the impact, Qwill let loose another stream of fire, and I heard Drillbit cry out louder than it had in a _long_ while. After almost a full minute, the Cyndaquil finally let up, stumblin' backwards as it caught its breath again.

I heard loose dirt movin', and to my delight, Excadrill dragged itself out of the hole, standin' shakily, but standin' nonetheless. Before I could shout a command, however, Qwill and Axel locked eyes, and the lad gave a short nod. Faster than I could see, the Cyndaquil smashed into my Pokémon head on, Tacklin' it so hard that the Excadrill flipped in midair before landin' belly-up on the ground. Drillbit Struggled briefly, wavin' its arms up and down, before collapsin' limp to the ground.

"Next," Axel said, crackin' his knuckles, and Qwill gave a short bark.

My referee, shocked, was barely able to stutter out "Excadrill is unable to battle. The winner is Cyndaquil!"

I congratulated Drillbit, returnin' him to his Pokéball for a well-deserved rest. "All right, lad," I admitted. "You were able to squeeze a bit o' power out o' that spud, I see. Well done."

"I didn't have to do much squeezing," he responded seriously. "Amber bred him well, and he has strength beyond anything your Pokémon can muster."

I almost gave his comment a passin' thought. But there's a time and a place for thinkin' on things, and the battlefield's not one of 'em. I nodded to the referee and sent out my Bastiodon, a beautiful Shiny Blue female that ol' Redwood had resurrected for me _years_ ago. At 350 pounds, there was no need for hit-n'-run tactics… I commanded her to Bulldoze the life out of the 10-pound runt of a Cyndaquil.

She obeyed immediately, chargin' straight at the poor thing. Agility was actually useful this time around, and Qwill darted out of the way, landin' a few Double Kicks that amounted to virtually nothin'. Bastiodon stomped on the ground as the Cyndaquil landed, causin' a small Earthquake that threw the runt off balance, enough to give Bastiodon the time to turn 'round and slam into the thing full force with a Heavy Slam.

The weight difference was so vast, the squirt would've flown straight off the mountain had it not smashed directly into Axel. A lucky stroke on their part. Axel, in turn, was sent sprawlin' a few feet across the ground, but both he and Qwill were back on their feet in no time at all. The Cyndaquil staggered a little, fightin' to stay up, and I took advantage of the openin', havin' it thrust forward with a Metal Head charge.

Axel, the sense knocked out of him, pointed directly at my oncomin' behemoth and yelled "Qwill! Flame Charge, now!"

And it obeyed. Stupidly, without any regards for common sense, it obeyed. It rushed forward, sheathin' itself in flame as it jumped and met my chargin' beast head on… literally.

I'd actually closed my eyes to avoid the humiliation of seein' Qwill, a Pokémon that had spent part o' its life in my _house_, thrown across the field _yet again._ The gasp from the audience, however, opened 'em up like lightnin', and I soon saw what was such a shock. Both Pokémon were completely still, theirs charges counteractin' each other almost perfectly.

Axel, quick to leap on the situation, commanded: "Flamethrower! NOW!"  
The column of flame tore out of the tiny spud, still suspended in mid-air from the charge. The flames tore at Bastiodon's armored hide, bits of licking at the skin just behind her shield. She let out a cry as the heat got to her, and I cursed myself for underestimatin' the Cyndaquil. Determined to win, to make sure my daughter stayed safe, I called out in a loud growl: "METAL EDGE! DO IT!"

Her head glowed for the briefest of moments, and then Bastiodon slashed her head like an enormous scythe, smashin' Qwill into the ground with one and a half times the force of the Pokémon's own charge and subsequent Flamethrower (so I'm told). The Fire Mouse let out a loud cry as it skipped across the ground like a stone in water, feet cartwheelin' in a desperate kickin' motion, as it tried to keep itself from fallin' off the mountain. Somehow, not ten feet from the edge, it finally caught itself, throwin' itself up and landin' in a heap.

Bastiodon shook on her feet, drained from the energy it had taken to deal so much damage. I commanded her to charge, to drive the Cyndaquil off the mountain once and for all, but Qwill somehow found the energy to let loose _another_ flood o' flames. She charged anyway, cuttin' her way through the inferno, but it was too much. With a loud cry, she collapsed to the ground, and Cyndaquil, for good measure, ran past it; jumpin' up and Sky Divin' onto its now exposed softer parts.

I wasn't a fool. I returned Bastiodon before the referee could even finish sayin' "Bastiodon is unable to battle." I gritted my teeth as the Cyndaquil dragged itself back into the center of the ring, standin' up to fight even as its legs wobbled beneath it.

"You ok, Qwill?" Axel asked. "If you can't go any further, just say so."

But the Pokémon, in response, flared the patch of fire on its back even higher, lookin' me straight in the eyes as it did so. Axel grinned, lettin' out a triumphant laugh. "Now _that's_ the Team Go Buy Food From Munson's Grocer Because It Will Make You A Better Person For Real spirit!"

The Treecko next to Axel actually face palmed. In the crowd, I heard a very confused Vanna ask "Wait… what did that even mean?" I just smiled. That certainly explained a thing or three, and made me feel perfectly fine with doin' what I was about to do.

"You know who's left, Axel," I threatened, holdin' the Pokéball in my hand.

He nodded. "I'm looking forward to it. I haven't seen Choo Choo in a _long_ time. I hear he's evolved into a Rhydon now?"

I chuckled. "That's what most people think, anyway." Without further explanation, I threw the ball into the arena, lettin' loose the eight foot tall Titan contained within. Orange plates decked it from head to toe, and an enormous drill protruded from its head. It's arms, quite literally cannons, let out a thunderous warnin' shot into the air, showerin' the field with boulders the size o' Bull Mastiffs.

Rhyperior, my harbinger o' destruction, was finally about to fight the battle it'd been raised to.

The crowd gave a collective gasp; Vanna in particular got to her feet, and yelled at me: "No way! You never told me that you'd evolved Rhydon!"

"That's because I _haven't_," I responded. "Not the one you know, anyways. This one is special; I've poured every ounce o' strength I have into him; all to make sure that my daughter's pride and joy would have to go through hell to prove itself." I pointed at Qwill, and it acknowledged me with determination. "_Conquer me!"_ I screamed, fatherly pride wellin' up in my chest. "_Show me your existence wasn't just a waste o' time, ye runt!"_

"_QUIIIIIIL!"_ It shouted back, chargin' forward the moment the referee blew his whistle.

Rhyperior stood tall, blastin' away rock after rock as the Fire Pokémon charged forward. It dodged most of 'em easily, and leapt directly into Choo Choo's face, blastin' fire without hesitation.

Choo Choo, quick as a whip, smacked it aside like a ragdoll; a Critical Hit if I've even seen one, sendin' it hurtlin' through the air like a missile. Axel, not content to let it end so easily, jumped up and caught the Pokémon in midair, whippin' around and tossin' it back into the ring. The Cyndaquil used the momentum from the throw and smashed a nearby boulder with a Mega Kick, hurtlin' it towards Rhyperior, who smacked it back.

Qwill pushed closer, and the boulder continued to bounce back and forth between them, becomin' a brown blur in the air. The Devil's Gambit continued for what could've been ages, until with a cry, Cyndaquil smacked it one last time, dodged the rebound, and reeled its head back, letting loose a burst of blindin' white light. A close-range Hyper Beam of such absolute devastation that Arceus himself would take notice.

Choo Choo stood unfazed, starin' the Cyndaquil down as it collapsed to the ground, tired from the strain. Openin' its mouth, it charged up a light of its own, and despite Axel's desperate cries, Qwill simply didn't have the energy to dodge. With a loud bellow, I commanded Rhyperior to let loose, and the Flash Cannon tore from its mouth, all but consumin' the runt.

It didn't move. It simply sat there, takin' the force of it, shriekin' out loudly as the energy tore at its skin.

"Qwill!" Axel yelled. "Get out of there! It's fine! We don't need to keep going!"

The referee agreed with Axel, and blew his whistle, but Qwill… that idiotic, suicidal beast, let out a loud cry, haulin' itself up. It looked at Axel, seekin' approval, and the lad hesitantly nodded.

I heard a 'pop' as somethin' was opened, and saw the Cyndaquil drinkin' out of a yellow can… some held item that it was usin' that I hadn't seen. Had Axel taught it to drink Lemonade on its own? Not that it mattered… in its current state, even a Hyper Potion wouldn't do much for it.

"Qwill…" it barked softly, as it began to shake. "Qwill… qwill! Qwill qwill QWILL!" The shakin' turned to tremors, and then, in a sudden burst the Pokémon leapt into the air, crashin' into and kickin' desperately at… the ground.

_"QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL QWILL!" _It shouted; kickin' up dust as it tore at the ground like its life depended on it. Concerned for its mental health, I addressed Axel directly "The _hell_ was in that can, Axel?"

"An ElectaBuzz energy drink, believe it or not…" Axel grimaced, even _him_ bein' able to see the horror of the situation. "It's Qwill's favorite… even if it's not exactly healthy for him."

I buried my head in my hands, disappointed. So Qwill had come this far, only to snap at the very end and needlessly scrape at the ground? Pathetic. I looked at the spastic spud, debatin' on whether I should have Rhyperior finish it off or let it tire out on its own.

I gasped, cursed myself for forgettin' what this thing's father had been, and immediately ordered Choo Choo to charge.

My Rhyperior dived headlong towards the Cyndaquil, but it leapt out of the way with newfound ease, caffeine doin' its work for it. It continued to draw on the ground, Sketchin' out numbers and figures as it delved deep into knowledge it shouldn't have been able to obtain, techniques that it could never possibly perform.

I pulled out every last stop, having Rhyperior use Rock Wrecker again and again, despite the strain it put on him. The Cyndaquil flawlessly leapt out of the way, continuin' its calculations anew as soon as it found a free patch of dirt to work on. Finally, at my wit's end, I called out for a Rock Tomb, and Choo Choo spit out boulder upon boulder, showerin' the field until there wasn't a free space left.

Qwill, energy boost still intact, dodged all of 'em, but strayed a little too close to Rhyperior in the process. With a triumphant roar from Rhyperior and myself, a Hammer Arm connected, causin' the Cyndaquil to plummet earthward, crackin' a hole in the layer of rock as it did so.

For the briefest of moments, there was silence, and I thought it was over at last. But no sooner had the naïve thought entered my mind than did a rock come flyin' out of the soil and land at my feet. Cyndaquil, fire burnin' in its eyes, looked directly at me, gave a short bark, and drew a line in the dirt.

"_You got it!"_ Axel yelled. "_Now let's show them how it REALLY works, Qwill!"_

I ordered Rhyperior to charge it one last time, readying a Giga Impact to blow the spud off the top o' the mountain once and for all. But the light was already startin' to build within Cyndaquil's mouth, and Axel cried out: "_Finish This! FLASH CANNON GATLING GUN!"_

Beam after beam tore from Qwill's mouth, as it executed the stolen move time and time again. Rhyperior had momentum, though, and pushed against the onslaught even as the charges tore at his rocky platin'. As he drew closer to the Cyndaquil, it somehow _picked up its pace_, until it really was firin' at the rate of a fully automatic weapon.

Rhyperior slowed first to a sprint, then a jog, then a crawl, but it did not let up, and was soon directly on top of the beast. Stoppin' for the briefest of moments to catch its breath, it chose to deliver the Giga Impact by thrustin' itself directly on top of the runt, no doubt crushin' it beneath its hulkin' mass.

Unfortunately, that pause was all Qwill needed.

A final, hyper-charged beam of light erupted from its body, counteractin' both gravity and Rhyperior's own strength. With one last, ragged roar that I knew was directed at me, Cyndaquil poured every last bit of energy it could into the beam, and Choo Choo was lifted from the ground, flung back past the referee, past me, and then, to my astonishment, past the edge of the mountain itself.

I ran to the edge, lookin' to see where Rhyperior would land. It crashed through the nets I'd had installed, then the wooden barrier, and then the stone, comin' to rest only on the solid steel barrier I'd had installed on a whim. Strugglin', my dear Choo Choo righted itself and began to climb up the side of the wall.

Qwill, every muscle of its body spasmin' on its own, walked to the edge of the mountain and looked at me; almost darin' me to allow the Pokémon to continue climbin' up. Light began to gather around its jaw yet again, and I sighed, pulled the Pokéball from my hip, and returned Rhyperior, to the amazement of every man in my Gym, includin' the ref.

"Rhy…" he stuttered. "Rhyperior is unable to battle! The winners are Axel Jackson and Cyndaquil!"

Qwill collapsed almost the moment the words were said, breathing ragged and coarse as it laid spread eagle on the ground. I smiled, proud of my daughter and Axel, yes, but proud of the little runt even more. Kneelin' down, I picked it up, carryin' it back to Axel who was able to take it from me despite the death grip Vanna had on him.

"You're both every bit as strong as I expected you to be," I said, reachin' into my pocket. I pulled out the Titan Badge, a white moon with a large black footprint on it. The League had been adamant that I make it the size of the other badges, but it's the freakin' _TITAN_ badge. If I say it's three times as big, then it's three times as big!

"Promise me you'll look after her," I commanded Axel. "And this is yours."

He nodded. "I accept, on one condition."

"_Condition?_" I yelled. _"What sort of position do ye think you're in lad? What in blazes kind of _condition_ can ye have for protectin' my daughter?"_

Axel, unfazed, smiled. "Let me ride on Choo Choo again. It's been too long."

I should've seen that comin', to be honest.

Author's Note

Didn't expect to me actually do the Gym Battle this chapter, huh?

Nah, I've had it planned out for a while now, so I figured I'd put in the extra effort and sum it all up in one go, rather than make you guys wait through _another_ update. You're welcome!

If you're actually thankful that the chapter came out, I mean. If not, then… you're welcome anyway! BECAUSE.

If you feel like reading the battle scene again, may I suggest background music? The song I was listening to when writing it was 'Meaning of Birth' from Tales of the Abyss. You could probably find a decently extended version on YouTube if you wanted to. A good bit of motivation behind the fight was Qwill proving to Goliath that he wasn't a waste of life, so I thought listening to it would help me capture the momentous, self-defining feel of a battle with your demons. Maybe. I mean, I think it helped.

Also! Before you ask, yes! Smeargle and Cyndaquil can, in fact, interbreed! Sketch isn't an inheritable move in the games, but I figured that it's not _impossible_ for it to be passed on. So, if you had a male Smeargle and a female Cyndaquil/Quilava/Typhlosion, you would in fact get a Cyndaquil with Sketch! If Sketch were heritable. As I said.

Viva la feminism?


	32. Catch Up Page 1, Start through Severna

Hey everyone! Amaxing here!

Those of you who are loyal readers: don't worry. The next chapter is a good bit underway! Those of you who aren't loyal readers, welcome! You got the idea behind this page without actually having read it! I'm glad the message got through.

Those of you who are at all confused, allow me to explain. You see; I have realized that this story… is going to be long. Not necessarily by word count, but by chapter density. Somewhere in my mind I want it to be 151 chapters exactly, but… we'll see. Hopefully less… probably more.

And it's tough to have to read through every single chapter in order to catch up to the story; I get it. When you open up the chapters tab and you actually have to _scroll down_ to get to the next page… it's pretty intimidating. So I've decided that, whenever a major amount of plot has been dealt with, I'll post a catch-up page. A reference document, of sorts, that will hopefully fill you in on the major plot points so far. Wish me luck! And feel free to ask questions in the reviews or by PMing if I miss something.

Story so far

For almost three years, a psychotic trainer, known only as 'Death', has ravaged the countries of Salvout and Ginli. He is an arrogant, merciless woman, and its reasons and methods are as of now incomprehensible. (No one knows its gender/species/anything, is what I'm saying there.)

Amber, a young girl from the small town of Pembrook, sets out on a journey at 18 (now the youngest age a person is allowed to start a Pokémon journey) to determine whether her childhood friend Axel is alive or not, as he has not been seen or heard from for two years.

What she doesn't expect, however, is for Axel to be in Cliffkiln, almost literally the next town over, and just too oblivious/idiotic to contact people and let them know he's ok. Upon arriving, he attempted to save Mr. Munson's grocery store from being robbed. He succeeded, but his Cyndaquil, Qwill, accidentally burnt down the storefront. Axel had been working at the store all this time, paying his debt.

A Pokémon tournament gives Axel the chance to earn enough money to pay off his debts early, but a Dragonite trained by Death interrupts the tournament, laying waste to the town. Axel's Meditite, Medici, flies into a rage and beats the creature senseless, only stopping when Axel and his other Pokémon physically pull him away. Mr. Munson, seeing Axel's full potential, allows him to leave. A young child from the village, Benji, is reported to have run away, and Amber, Axel and company are asked to keep an eye out for him.

After a bit of travelling, the group arrives in Woodale, home of the Salvout-Ginli league's first Pokémon gym. Axel meets Vanna Albright, the gym's leader, by chance in the park, and Vanna (using the false name Lily) asks Axel to run an errand for her. The group attempts to deliver medicine to her critically ill friend Bertrand, but cannot find him.

A search eventually leads the group (with Vanna) to Bertrand's secret basement, where he has been building a bomb to 'get back at those Ginli bastards for setting Death on us'. In a fit of insanity, he ignites the bomb, Medici arriving in just enough time to prevent the group from being hurt, but not Bertrand. Bertrand is rushed to the hospital and stabilizes, but Death, cryptically accusing Bertrand of 'almost ruining everything' sneaks in at night and kills him, placing a Slugma directly on top of his chest to burn him alive.

Axel defeats Vanna and gets the Pulsar Badge. Vanna, because of her ties to Bertrand, is called in to question by the Pokémon league and asked to momentarily step down. She complies, and runs to catch up with Axel, Amber, and company… who were waiting for her anyway. The troupe heads through Oakridge forest.

In Oakridge, a detective named Magnum Jenkins (called Officer Jenny by the new recruits) gets an anonymous tip that Death will be in the forest. Two trees fall on his car, one cut by Axel's Treecko, Inigo, and one by Vanna's Gallade, Gallant (they were having a competition to see who cut the best). Suspicious, Detective Jenkins interrogates Axel, but eventually lets him go… until he finds a trainer's body in the woods. Axel has, at this point, gone missing.

The group splits up, searching for Axel, and eventually both stumble into the same clearing, where Death is waiting. Death summons Deathwing, an enormous Skarmory the size of a dragon, to kill the group, but Axel arrives and, in an enormous team effort, manages to capture the beast using a modified Snag Machine called the BBUTTON.

The BBUTTON is illegal technology, but Detective Jenkins realizes it could be useful in fighting off Death, so he allows Axel to keep it, on the condition that he assist the Severna Police Department in a raid on a laboratory operated by Team Musket, a criminal group that produces illegal products to 'place more power in the hands of trainers'. Around the same time (on arriving in Severna), Amber runs into Skyler Blue, a Team Musket agent who becomes incredibly taken with her at first sight. He convinces her to meet him for dinner, even though she'll be leaving town soon.

Axel is able to flirt his way inside Team Musket's base, but once inside, it is revealed that the entire plan was a set up… Axel was allowed inside so that Team Musket could steal his BBUTTON, and Jenkins had been a 'Musketeer' the whole time. Axel, by a stroke of dumb luck, realizes this before it happens, and works with the real Severna Police Department to _actually_ raid Team Musket's hideout. In the commotion, Detective Jenkins grabs Deathwing's Pokéball and unleashes the beast, causing the room to crumble, with the Musket agents and Axel inside. Medici is able to save Axel and one of the younger agents, Lexi, and an Excadrill working with the Police Department digs a tunnel to get them out.

Skyler, on an errand for the research lab's boss, Aggie, returns to find… all of this. Lexi is able to stop him from getting arrested by the police, and tells him Aggie's last words: that he is ready. Skyler, though it pains him to skip out on Amber, takes these to heart, and begins travelling to Woodale to start his Pokémon League venture.

The Excadrill that digs the tunnel belongs to Goliath Gold, Severna's Gym Leader… and Amber's father. After putting the group up for the night, he tells Amber that it's too dangerous to be out in the world, and orders her to go home. Amber refuses, and eventually a deal is made: if Axel can show that he's strong enough to protect both himself and her, she can continue travelling with him.

To this end, Goliath issues Axel a mandatory challenge: one Pokémon versus three. Qwill, drawing on every ounce of strength he has (as well as every ounce of energy drink), blows away Goliath's Excadrill, Bastiodon, and Rhyperior, _literally_ blowing the last one off the mountain. Goliath, satisfied, awards Axel the Titan Badge, and permits Amber to continue travelling with him.

Cast of Characters

Axel Jackson: A nineteen-year-old boy with a firm resolve, an optimistic outlook, and common sense that would make the vast majority of the population feel good about themselves. It is often said that the only two things he really knows how to do are get people to like him and train Pokémon. He is decently athletic, and has a high tolerance for pain, due to Amber's many reprimands over the years.

Amber Gold: Axel's childhood friend, a strong-willed, sometimes stubborn, but always caring eighteen-year-old redhead. She is primarily a Pokémon breeder, but knows a fair bit of medicine (both Pokémon and human) as well. She keeps Axel in line much like a big sister would, and possesses a forehand that would make Maria Sharapova cry.

Medici: Axel's Meditite, a snarky, food loving, guitar playing amnesiac whose ego is only further stoked by the ridiculous amount of power he possesses. He occasionally loses control when stressed, entering a berserk-like trance that can only be broken with great effort. When under control, however, he can be quite fun to be around. He has a thing for Vanna's Gardevoir, odd as it sounds.

Vanna Albright: Selected for the Gym Leader fast track at a young age due to her innate connection with Pokémon, Vanna reached Gym Leader status at 16. She is shamelessly flirtatious, wielding her femininity as a powerful weapon against any man who stands in her way, or could possibly get her what she wants. She specializes in Psychic-type Pokémon.

Qwill: Axel's first Pokémon, bred for him by Amber. He never leaves Axel's shoulder except to battle, or when Axel's carrying something heavy. He has the Pokémon equivalent of ADHD, constantly jumping from topic to topic and possessing boundless energy. Despite this, he is a technical prodigy, and his Smeargle blood allows him to learn nearly any move he sees.

Shelligan: A Squirtle whose original trainer, Barnum, was killed by Death. Axel, a friend of Barnum's, told Shelligan that he would care for him if he wanted, and the Squirtle accepted. He is a showman first and foremost, and has a tendency to be dramatic and grandiose. Unable to produce water, he relies on trickery and the blunt end of his shell to overcome his opponents… well, that and lightning. He has a great deal of worldly wisdom, and the other Pokémon often come to him for advice.

Inigo: A warrior at heart, this Treecko trains constantly to perfect his Leaf Blade arts. He is monstrously strong, able to stop a rampaging Steelix in its tracks with a single cross cut. Because most of his time is spent training, however, he is somewhat distant from the rest of the group, though he is loyal to Axel without question. Has a bit of a rivalry with Gallant (a fellow swordsman), and quite a bit of contempt for the lazy, unscrupulous Medici.

Toto: Amber's first Pokémon, a Totodile (Toto is a self-given name, everyone else calls her 'Totodile'). Despite Amber's best intentions; she has grown up hostile to her Trainer, and more recently to humans in general. Occasionally, she hears a voice coaxing her to abandon the group of 'useless humans', but as of yet has not done so.

Gardevoir: Almost the complete opposite of Vanna, Gardevoir is a hundred percent uncertain of herself. She shies away from most attempts to contact her, and only communicates by writing notes on a pad. In battle, her opponents will often simply fall to the ground in forfeit, not wanting to hurt such a fragile, beautiful creature. Though Medici's initial attempts at wooing her freaked her out, she's grown used to him as he's backed off, working together with him more than any other Pokémon in the group.

Gallant: Vanna's Gallade, who prides himself a perfect gentleman. In spite of this, he has a quick temper, and becomes indignant at the slightest provocation.

Xatu: Vanna's third Pokémon, who knows _exactly_ how everything's going to turn out, and is very vocal about that fact… after events transpire.

Professor Redwood: A famed Pokémon Professor whose theories about the 'anthromorphization' of Pokémon provoke either immense ridicule or intense respect. Fervently read by both Axel and Vanna.

Bertrand: a friend of Vanna's whose obsessive tendencies never helped cure his sickness. He became obsessed with the idea that Death was an inmate from the Lakeless asylum, sent by Ginli to destroy Salvout in preparation for an invasion, and built a bomb to meet that threat.

Percy Garrison: A young boy from the Cliffkiln area, who funded the tournament there. Convinced that Axel is, in fact, Death, and will stop at nothing to prove it… provided he gets out of the asylum anytime soon.

Benji: A young, ten-year-old boy from Cliffkiln who idolizes Axel. Currently missing.

Skyler Blue: A young, naïve member of Team Musket, who only sees the positive side of the research being done there. He was one of the first test subjects for the Human TM project, and is capable of performing several Flying-type Pokémon moves. His interest in Amber is derailed by Aggie's last wish, for him to take on the Pokémon league. In his free time, he enjoys freestyle rapping.

Aggie: The head researcher of Team Musket's lab in Severna, who was like a mother to many of the team members there. Was always concerned about Skyler, who barely survived the experiments performed on him, and attempted to shield him from as much as possible.

Helen Alexis: Known as 'Lexi', she serves as both Siren and Sniper for Team Musket, luring in unwitting trainers for interrogation or picking enemies off from afar. While she actually fell for Axel the _tiniest_ bit when he infiltrated Team Musket's lab, she is loyal first and foremost to Skyler, and has sworn to protect and accompany him through his journey.

Detective Jenkins: One of the most well respected members of the Severna Police Department, until he was discovered to be a Team Musket agent. Regardless of this, he was always adamant about trying to capture Death, taking this facet of his policing duty incredibly seriously.

Goliath Gold: Severna's gym leader and Amber's father, an enormous bear of a man. He demands greatness from anyone who challenges him; setting his gym atop a mountain for the sole purpose of making Trainers climb it. He does have a small soft spot for his daughter, however, and an almost fatherly pride in Axel's accomplishments.

Quick Facts

Axel's Pokémon: Qwill (Cyndaquil), Shelligan (Squirtle), Inigo (Treecko), Medici (Meditite), Skarmory (formerly Deathwing).

Amber's Pokémon: Totodile

Vanna's Pokémon: Gardevoir, Xatu, Gallant (Gallade)

Skyler's Pokémon: Dino (Deino), Tangela, Magnezone

Percy's Pokémon: Pidgeot, Houndoom, Steelix

Goliath's Pokémon: Drillbit (Excadrill), Bastiodon, Choo-Choo (Rhyperior)

_Fun Fact_: The Rhyperior's name is Choo-Choo because Axel used to ride on its back when it was a Rhyhorn, and always compared it to being on a train.

Death's Pokémon (so far known): Deathbreath (Dragonite, now euthanized), Deathwing (formerly, now Axel's), Slugma (name unknown).

The Gym-Leader Circuit: Woodale, Severna, Highbank, Jinford, Califrey, Lakeless, Clockton, Nightcastle. Woodale, Severna, Clockton, and Nightcastle are in Salvout, the rest are in Ginli.

The Great War: Refers to the great Salvout-Ginli war, fought over the course of almost thirty years, which ended roughly 85 years ago. The term Antebellum refers to the time before the armistice in this story.

Armistice Island: The site of the signing of the peace treaty between Salvout and Ginli. It is the only piece of land that the two countries share ownership of, and is where the yearly Pokémon League championships are held.

BBUTTON: A modified Snag Machine, developed by Professor Redwood. It is a 'Ball Binder Using The Trainers Own Newtons', and allows a trainer to clamp down on a Pokéball and use physical exertion to keep a Pokémon from escaping. Currently in Axel's possession.

Musket Ball: A Pokéball developed by Team Musket that is equipped with an explosive outer casing that detonates on contact with a Pokémon. Allows for the capture of Pokémon without battling, violating almost every fair-capture law in existence.

Human TM Project: An effort by Team Musket to produce Technical Machines for people that seems to be dangerously successful. Its intent is to give Salvout the weapons it needs to combat Ginli in the war that's 'sure to happen'.

Growlithe Girl: The initial case that sparked the idea for the Human TM project. A young girl who, after accidentally injecting herself with a Flamethrower TM, collapsed into a coma as her body changed, emerging with the physical capability to breathe fire.

In Touch: Also known as 'Throwbacks', this term is used by some scientists to describe people whose genetic makeup is significantly similar to Pokémon's. First mentioned briefly by Aggie, but has not been explained since.

Non-Story Related, But Kind of Important

Reviews are always appreciated.

Seriously. Reviews are awesome.

Questions are welcome, and are always answered, typically at the end of the chapter in the Author's Note section.

Minor character submissions are accepted. Not much is required for this: even just a name is acceptable, as I have a hard time naming things.

At the end of Chapter 26, there's a list of possible Gym Badge names for you to vote on! You can also submit your own ideas if you'd like, or can choose to… not do anything. It's fine either way.

BONUS!

If you've read this far, here's a little something to show my thanks/surprise at your interest! It's a horrifying insight into what I can accomplish when I'm really, really bored.

I'll give you a minute if you want to click over to a page with… actual… entertainment things.

… Still here?

Don't say I didn't warn you:

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTIOOOOON!_

_SKYLER BLUE_

_VS!_

_MEDICI THE MEDITITE_

_**BEGIN!**_

**Skyler:**

_You just learned how to speak; how you gonna rap, man?_

_Like Magnezone I'll blast you with a verbal Zap Cannon_

_Forsooth, Sir Medici, you grok my jive?_

_Slacker, I've been spitting fire since before you were alive_

_You'll be cursing on my versing cause I never need rehearsing_

_Not a person on this earth my rhymes can't force into a hearse, bitch_

_Might not be Death, but I'll straight up maim ya_

_I AM the very best; so don't make me disclaim ya_

**Medici:**

_I can read minds, so I know I'm telling true_

_I speak for everybody here: who the hell are you?_

_You fight like a baby; I'm a friggin' berserker_

_Don't forget you started out as a fake office worker_

_I'm an artist, a genius, impossible to hate_

_You're a clueless criminal who can't even keep a date_

_I'll cook you up, scrape you off like a steak's gristle_

_Those aren't Muskets: more like broken water pistols_

**Skyler:**

_Dude, your flow's so weak a Magikarp could swim through it_

_I don't need no Techniques to secure this win, stupid_

_Psychic? Try sidekick. I'm sort of confused:_

_If you're "so powerful" why don't you ever get used?_

_I'm tough; I step up to all kinds of harsh strife_

_You lose one little battle and forget your whole life_

_Crawl into your Ball, cause I'm this story's best feature_

_Sky is the limit; don't even think you can reach it_

**Medici:**

_You talk a big battle, but I ain't ever see you fight_

_Catch me if you can, sucker, I'll be here all night_

_You're whack, you're a hack, a genetic Throwback_

_I'm Super Effective with every single attack_

_Fans jump at the chance to hear my star guitar_

_Your licks couldn't catch a glance from a Gardevoir_

_You're hopeless and blind; DEINO could see the truth:_

_You choked on this fight; must be why you're so Blue._

_WHO WON?_

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE! (Maybe?)

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTIOOOOON!_

**One more thing**

Every chapter ends like this:

Viva la feminism?

Don't… don't ask why.


	33. Chapter 31: Swingin' on a Rainbow

Disclaimer:

Amaxing: Hey! Nintendo! YOU OWN POKÉMON!

Nintendo: NO U

Amaxing: YAY!

(Note: this conversation never happened.)

**Chapter 31: Swingin' on a Rainbow**

**Skyler**

Since the Deathwing Incident happened only a week ago, there really isn't anyone in Oakridge Forest at the moment, aside from Lexi and I.

That's great for travelling and all, but it's terrible for trying to forget. There's not a single person to talk to but Lexi, which means there's not a single person who can take my mind off… well, everything. Aggie, Magnum, all of that Human TM research that could have helped people defend themselves from Death… it's all gone.

And I still haven't forgiven myself for leaving Amber out to dry, either… but what could I have done? Aggie's last request sort of takes precedence over my own desires, and even if I _had_ gone, I'd have been a complete mess.

But yeah, so that's what I think about these days, while I'm in one of Oakridge's trees trying to fall asleep. Ever since the procedure, I've had this odd urge to sleep as elevated off the ground as possible: maybe the result of the Flying Pokémon genes becoming more active.

Not that it helps. I'd always had trouble sleeping, even before the procedure, and now with everything that's happened… well, I've seen more consecutive sunrises and sunsets than I thought possible. Lexi's actually had to guide me a few times when I fell asleep while walking… apparently I'm still able to walk and sleep at the same time, though, so she hasn't had to carry me… yet.

She probably could, though. I doubt I weigh as much as some of the guns I've seen her carry. Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly self-conscious, I'll avoid looking at her arms, as they remind me just how little muscle I actually have.

"Skyler!," came her voice from below me. "Skyler, are you over here?"

"Be down in a minute," I called, carefully standing up on the branch I'd attempted to sleep on last night. I balanced myself, then leapt off the limb and plummeted down the fifty feet, using a quick Bounce to land unharmed… well, almost. My ankle twisted a bit, but all in all, my landing was improving.

These Techniques were a gift from Aggie, after all. It'd be a waste if I never learned how to use them.

Lexi smiled at me as I sat down at the campsite, pouring me some coffee and handing me my…erm… rations for the day. I understood that Aggie had told her to watch out for me, but she didn't have to _cook_ for me.

To be completely honest… I'd kind of rather she didn't.

"We're going to reach Woodale today, right?" I asked, hoping to distract myself from my… incredibly well done toast. "Have you ever been?"

"No," she said curtly. "But I've been reading up on it, if you'd like a briefing."

"That's…" Did she have to be so official about it? "That's not…"

But it couldn't be helped. "Woodale, the Forest Haven," she began to recite, actually pulling out a _notebook_ to help give her… um… report. "Population: 3,417. Famous for its numerous museums and microbreweries."

"Ooh… that should be nice," I daydreamed. "What about the Gym? Did you read up anything on that?"

"Woodale's Gym was run for many years by Joshua Avalon, but leadership was passed to one Vanna Albright around two years ago, when Avalon was inducted into the Elite Four. Avalon traditionally used Dragon-type Pokémon, and the League continues to supply the gym with Dragon types even in his absence.

Albright herself is a product of the Gym Leader fast track program; a child prodigy that showed deep connections to Pokémon from a young age. She's well-loved by the populace, and a common phrase circulated around Woodale is 'To be near Vanna is like heaven.'"

"A girl with Dragon-type Pokémon, huh?" I looked down at Dino. "Maybe there'll be some dragons like you to play with, huh? Maybe even a cute girl Deino?"

Dino, who was already romping around, became even _more_ excited… and ran into a nearby tree. But that was practically part of his training at this point, so… I didn't really mind. At least, not until he'd knocked into the _fourteenth tree in a row._ Poor, blind-as-a-bat Dino. Love him to death.

At around noon, the endless wave of orange that was Oakridge Forest finally broke, and the path opened up to reveal a clustered group of houses, some decked in the famous wooden architectural style of Woodale, others covered in brick facades like… well, like normal houses, you know?

We registered at the town's Trainer hostel (under the names Arthur and Trisha Dent, on the off chance POLESTAPH had gotten any records from the lab). I flipped open a tourist's map from the 'lobby', searching the borders for a decent-looking establishment. The 'Tipsy Poffin' bar/grill seemed right up my alley, so I immediately led the way, winding through twisted streets until I finally caught sight of the squat oak building, nestled between much larger structures atop a hill.

I returned Dino so he wouldn't knock any of the pictures or knick-knacks off the board walls and took a seat at the bar, immediately ordering a round for Lexi and I… and Tangela. Don't ask. There was basically no one else there at the time, save a lone guy playing on a corner piano.

"You're new faces," the bartender commented, look in his eye telling that he _enjoyed_ saying clichéd lines like that. "Good to see there are still some trainers brave enough to travel the circuit… given that you're trainers, of course."

"No, yeah… you got me," I responded blurrily, already grasping at the bottle as he placed it in front of me. "I finally… um… got the kick in the pants I needed to get started."

"_That's_ quite the understatement," I heard Lexi mutter.

"You're _just starting_?" The barkeep blanched, astounded. "This late in? You know you're supposed to have four or five badges by this point, right?"

"We understand that we need to hurry," Lexi answered. "Which is why we can't afford to chat for very long." She pointed to her menu. "Strawberry Chicken Salad, if you don't mind."

I ordered as well, and the barkeep went back into the kitchen, a bit put off. I leaned over to Lexi. "It's not exactly the best idea to make people in food service mad, Lex. Just so you know."

"It's not exactly the best idea to get chatty with the locals, either, Skyler," she replied firmly. "We've got _no_ idea whether POLESTAPH has issued an APB on us, so we should be wary about leaving a lasting impression on anyone."

I looked over at Tangela, who at this point was on her fourth round, and then back to Lexi, who, out of necessity, had her rifle still strapped across her back. I could have said something, but didn't really feel like it.

Honestly, with having blue hair and all, I probably _am_ the worst offender here; so I suppose I _can't_ say anything.

After about fifteen minutes, the barkeeper brought our food, setting it down with a less-than-enthusiastic 'can I get you anything else?' He almost looked shocked when I said yes.

"I was just wondering, with this place be called the 'Tipsy Poffin' and all, do you sell berries?"

"Just raw berries?" He asked, a bit interested. "Normally we only spells juices or poffins but… we _do_ have berries on site we could sell you, I suppose. Anything you have in mind?"

"Ganlon, Jaboca, Rowap, Starf, Watmel…" I grabbed one of the napkins, jotting the names down to see if I'd forgotten any. "And… um… Custap, I think. That should be all of them."

"Only the best and rarest, huh Mr. Fancy-Britches?" The barkeep poked.

"Don't look at me, look at _her_," I said, pointing at Tangela. "She's never let me down, though, so I don't mind much."

Tangela rustled her vines in a "damn straight" sort of way, and the barkeeper, after flashing a forced, uneasy smile, went back to the kitchen to pick up the berries.

My review: not the best service, but _damn_ was that a good burger. Would very much recommend to anyone trying to get out of eating their partner's cooking.

After lunch, I took a break for a while, just to clear my head before taking on the Gym. Battling while buzzed might _sound_ like a good idea… except, oh wait, it doesn't. At all.

_Could you possibly imagine_

_ Just how positively tragic_

_ Any outcome of a match where_

_ I am hopped up on... um…_

Damn it. I've lost my groove. My name's not Stella either, so I might have a hard time getting it back, too. That was awful. As I said, though, I've lost my groove. Awfulness is to be expected, really.

Anyway, eventually I found Woodale's famous park, and I parked myself on a bench, looking out over the rippling lake and just sort of watching people as they went by. After about an hour of silent meditation, I looked over to Lexi, smiled, and nodded. She took the map from me, skillfully leading me to the Gym in no time at all.

I'd expected there to be at least two or three trainers there, ready to challenge me and soften me up before I got to the leader. The only people there, however, were construction workers, and a person who appeared to be acting as Gym leader that… wasn't quite as cute as I thought she'd be.

Mostly because she was a guy.

"Vanna… Albright?" I asked, making it very clear that I didn't actually think he was her.

"_That_ would certainly be an interesting twist, wouldn't it?" the young man, probably around 21, sort of… groaned. It wasn't _really_ a groan, because it was conversational... but it still sort of sounded like he'd rather not be there… even if he was being very friendly, and…

It was... um… hm. Words can't express. Perhaps a list of possible rhymes would help? Groan, moan, own, alone, phone, acetone, blown, grown, pwn, Stalone, Capone, trombone, saxophone… this isn't working. I'll just get on with it, I suppose.

"Name's Frankie," he greeted us with a smile/moan. "Frankie Avalon. I'm in charge around here while Vanna's under investigation."

"Your name is _not_ actually Frankie Avalon," I responded almost instinctively.

"I understand the reaction," he replied/cried, running a hand through is now seemingly perfect hair. "But I'm the younger son, and my parents only realized the opportunity they'd missed _after_ Josh was born." He sighed/cooed. "It almost goes without saying I've been told since a very young age not to throw away all those teardrops."

"Mr. Avalon," Lexi said, attempting to sound as official and bland as possible. "Might you know where we can find Ms. Albright? We're a bit behind on badges at this point, and we'd like to secure one ASAP."

"Well Vanna's gone off with that Axel Jackson guy," he answered/whimpered. "Good for her, too. It's silly she's under scrutiny to begin with; she might as well have fun." He blew upwards, shifting a lock of jet-black hair as his mouth widened into a grin/grimace. "As expected, when she asked me whether she should go with him or not, I told her: 'just ask your heart'. Have to live up to my name, after all."

As disorienting as the sudden barrage of 50's pop references was, the name 'Axel Jackson' immediately hit me like a punch right to the gut. So he'd just waltzed into town, danced his little dance, and sweet-talked a _Gym Leader_ into joining his troupe? How could someone so… I don't even know… be so…

"Is he really _that_ charming?" I whispered to Lexi who, much to my surprise (and mortification) blushed.

"He can… give someone second thoughts about killing him, yes," she replied hurriedly, trying to downplay it.

It didn't work. Had Lexi really… no. That wasn't possible… was it? But… she's never turned red like that for me, now has she?

Damn it, I'm dealing with a modern-day Scheherazade here! An Scheherazade that can de-rail a _Siren's_ attempt to kill him, to boot. And since I'm on a roll with naming classic seducers: _damn you Dionysus!_ All right, I'm better.

Not really.

"So the Gym's not operating now, then?" I asked, itching for him to say 'no' so I had an excuse to tear after Axel with reckless abandon.

"I'm actually serving as Gym Leader," he responded/desponded. "I've been battling with Josh since we were kids, after all. Used to be equals before he moved up into the Elite Four." He shrugged. "But I haven't been… how do they put it… _officially trained_ to use the League-Specified Pokémon yet, so… yes, I suppose you could say the Gym isn't operating."

"Unacceptable," Lexi said almost immediately. "We're on a stricter timeline than usual, so we need to collect this badge immediately."

"Now, now, Lexi, let's not be rash," I interceded for her quickly. "Sorry. She has a very… 'get rid of the obstacle instead of going around it' mentality. If there's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can do, and we'll go. It's fine." I felt my fists clench themselves. Prey sighted: let the hunting commence.

"Now, now, I didn't say no," Frankie chuckled/sobbed. "You can fight my personal Pokémon. A battle with a Gym Leader's a battle with a Gym Leader, after all." He motioned to the construction workers, telling them to take a break. One of them even pulled out a referee's whistle, as if this had been planned on the off chance a challenger came in.

Damn it! I'm not exactly in the right place to battle right now! That cocktail of anger and regret's acting up again… and it's not mixing well with the actual alcohol in my system, either. I can't do this today!

Is what I was thinking, anyway. But for some reason, stupidly, when I caught a glimpse of Lexi and saw that she was _still_ red from thinking about _him_ earlier… a single thought dominated everything else:

_Axel Jackson_ would do it today, wouldn't he?

"Fine," I nodded, holding out my hand to shake. "You're on, Frankie. Let's get this Jamboree started."

"I'd say that you excite me… but you don't," he joked/choked. "Very well then. Three on three, different Pokémon each time. Prepare yourself!"

**Dino**

My trainer is a voice.

I mean, I know he's not _really_ just a voice; that he's actually a full person with a body and stuff, but it doesn't feel that way to me. As far as I know, I'm being trainer by a floating, disembodied voice.

It's a nice voice! There isn't a _hint_ of gravel or roughness like in a lot of other voices. It's smooth, and kind of airy, and especially when Master raps there's a lot of power behind it. If I had to give it a flavor, I'd say… butterscotch! I never get tired of it, after all.

The first time Master picked me up it surprised me, because his hands were kind of leathery. I should have guessed that, because he works outside a lot, but it was still a shock! A tiny one. But it was nice, too, because I finally realized that _he_ was the musky smell that had been following me around.

Is it weird that Master had a Deino as his first Pokémon? People seem to think so, because their voices always get higher-pitched and lighter when they say "Really? That's interesting!" when Master tells them about it. He never explains why, though, and I kind of want to know too! All I know is when Master wasn't there, I got poked with a lot of needles, and when Master came the pinching stopped! It wasn't terribly painful, but I'm glad it stopped anyway, and Master takes good care of me and lets me run into stuff like I'm supposed to! When he doesn't put me in my Pokéball anyway.

Oh! Did you know that, when you're in a Pokéball, you're still a little conscious of what's going on around you? It's muffled enough that you can ignore it and sleep if you want, but if you try and listen you can hear conversations, and even feel how your ball's being shifted around! It's cool, because it sort of lets you know when you need to be ready to battle. Master always throws his Pokéballs in a sharp diagonal downward angle, so when I felt the ball hurtling through the air, I knew I was being called out to fight. I bit at the air a few times, just to warm up, and braced myself for the… light-turning thingy.

After it was over, I immediately started moving around, getting a feel for where I was. The ground was soft and moved between my toes… like sand! Am I on a beach? No… there's no salt in the air, and people's voices are echoing like we're indoors. I smell sawdust… so we're still in Woodale, right?

"Get ready, Dino!" Master yelled. "The battle's about to start!"

Battle? Ooh! That's it! We're in a Gym! I strained to hear the opening of the other Pokéball, and soon enough I heard a "Get out there, Bagon!" come from a man with a really silky, happy, sad voice. I heard the Pokéball-opening noise, and my nostrils filled up with the scent of sweat and meteors. It was a Bagon, all right.

A shrill whistle came from up and to my right, and I felt the sand shift as the Bagon charged… presumably forward. I couldn't quite be sure, as the sand didn't exactly carry vibrations as well I'd like.

But the heck with that. Master says charge, and so I'm doing it! Head Smash away! I felt a sharp crack as the Bagon Headbutted me back, and I dug my back feet into the sand and began Thrashing back and forth, Biting out at the same time.

I felt my skull connect with some part of the dragon's body, and with a surge of Strength I shoved my entire body in its direction. I felt it try and strain back against me, but I also heard its foot slip through the sand, which is why it ended up flying the air and crashing into something nearby. Are we that close to the wall?

Master urged me on, telling me not to let up, and I figured the best way to find out where I was was to start running into stuff. I ran full speed into the direction that I threw the Bagon in, using its grunts as it pulled itself up to guide me.

It dodged at the last second… or at least, I think it did, because I ended up crashing into some sort of wall. I bashed my head into it a few times, feeling the surface. It was semi-rounded, slanted downwards… are we in a pit? We must be in a pit! That's why the trainer's voices are coming from higher up than usual!

I didn't have much time to enjoy my discovery, though, because at that moment, a hot Dragonbreath attack smacked into me, and it hurt! Stupid Super Effective attacks… and I think I'm feeling my joints stiffen a bit too. Quick! Run into something!

Gnashing out with my teeth, I used a Dragon Rush attack… or that's what it _looked_ like… I think. When the Bagon tried to be all clever and dodge out of the way at the last second again, I instead spun around and let out a huge Dragon Pulse! The sound it made when it connected with the Bagon was all I needed to go on, and so I _really_ Dragon Rushed it this time, my body smashing into it with a satisfying "POOMF!"

It flew and smacked into another wall, but it must have bounced right back off it because I could hear it sailing back towards me. This sound was even clearer than the last one though, so I dodged it easily, turning the jump into a bicycle kick that smashed the thing right into the ground! And then I Body Slammed it. And bit at it. And then, since I heard it getting up again, I let out another Dragon Pulse for good measure, which sent it crashing against another wall somewhere.

The Gym Leader sort of called out in a determined, defeatist voice if Bagon was okay to keep going, and that it was okay for him to come back. I heard the Bagon give a loud shout which, translated, meant roughly 'No way! This is the eleventh hour for me!' It didn't make any sense at first, but then… I actually _felt_ him getting brighter. He started radiating this heat and energy, and from the reactions of Master, Lexi, and the rest of the crowd, I knew: Bagon had _evolved right there!_

Which meant I had absolutely no idea what it looked like or how it would move. Which meant that, in order to find out… I had to go Bite it! Or maybe just run into it. So I did; I Worked myself Up and then ran to Headbutt it.

I ran up against what felt like solid bone, rounded sort of like the walls of the pit we were in. From the way it pushed back at me, I could tell it had grown another pair of legs… it actually pulled a trick from my book and dug its back legs into the ground, rooting itself so it could knock me aside.

I already had a lot of bruises from running into trees and walls and Master that day, so this time actually sort of hurt. I got up slower than usual, and heard the Shelgon charging at me through the sand _much_ later than I should have. I tried to counter-Slam, but I couldn't get a foothold in time and it wedged me up against the wall, pinning me there with strength it had _not_ had before.

It held me there, ramming me again and again against the wall of the pit, and I heard Master start to yell for me to come back. Instead of doing that, though, I let out a really high-pitched Hyper Voice. I heard a lot of people grunt and cover their ears, and the Shelgon was knocked back enough to let me get on feet again.

Which is all I needed! I whipped my neck back and forth, colliding into the bony armor of the Pokémon and sliding it across the ground a little. I locked on to its breathing and started pounding away, Crunching, Slamming, Dragon Rushing, whichever move could best hit the thing based on where it was. A particularly strong Dragon Tail from me sent it flying, and I took the opportunity to execute the big finish!

I reared up on my hind legs, Focusing my Energy and pooling all my attack potential into a single blow. Then, letting out a load Roar for good measure, I shot like lightning across the sand pit, letting loose a Giga Impact! BOOM!

Unfortunately the Shelgon, as I was later told, was left with shaky knees after my last assault, and fell down to the ground just as I was about to hit… apparently, it actually _rolled out of the way a little_, completely by accident! My Giga Impact went out control and I crashed into the wall headfirst.

That hurt. A lot.

Feeling… dizzy… I think I'll take a nap for a little while. Night night…

**Magnezone**

"Deino is unable to battle. The victory goest to Bagon," said the referee.

Master Skyler returned Deino, turning red. Gym Leader Avalon sent out an Altaria as the next combatant, and at Master Skyler's command I floated out onto the field.

It was the logical choice, after all.

The referee looked over the field for a moment, ensuring that both trainers were ready. They were. The referee blew his whistle, signaling the start of the second match.

The Altaria used Dragonbreath on me immediately. The attack struck me head on; I hadn't dodged it. I was in the midst of Charging. The dragon took advantage of my stillness and struck me with a series of Fury Attacks. I pushed back against them, but not much, as I was Focusing my Energy elsewhere. The Altaria's barrage eventually pushed me against the wall.

I let out a small Discharge, enough to make the dragon jolt backwards, but not enough to break my concentration. It assaulted me from afar with a stream of Drag Rage attacks, and I felt my stamina fade slowly but steadily. A final Draco Meteor attack impacted against my metal skin, burst into a conflagration that near knocked me out: my motionlessness had allowed it to strike a Critical Hit with ease.

It didn't matter. At this point, I'd already Locked On.

I released all my pent up electrical potential in a ferocious Zap Cannon, which hit the Altaria dead-on despite its great Agility. Volt after volt coursed through its veins as I pushed myself to pour every spare joule I had into this single, solitary attack; knowing it was the only shot I would have, and the only shot I should need.

The Pokémon crashed to the floor of the gym, twitching as stray bolts continued to tear at its body. Gym Leader Avalon returned it almost immediately.

"Altaria is unable to battle. The victory goes to Magnezone," said the referee.

I now elect to let out a victory cry.

Mag-Agne-Zone-Zone. Boo_ yah._

**Tangela**

_Man_, old Magnezone's boring. He gets out there, stands completely still for who even cares, and then ends it in seconds? The _heck?_ That's no fun.

Whatever, though, cause now it's _my_ turn. Tangela! The Green Assassin! The Herbicidal Maniac! The Mata Hari of the Pokémon Plant World!

I'm pretty B.A., yeah. I don't blame you if you fall down, prostrate yourself, and beg for mercy, whichever Pokémon Frank Sinatra sends out next. Bring it _on!_ I'll wrap you up and give you to Sky as an early Christmas present!

Frankie-Stein, blown away by Magnezone's win, gagged and laughed at the same time, and then threw out another Pokéball with a pained looking, confident smirk. What is _with_ this guy? Anywhatever, the ball bust open to reveal… a friggin' Fraxure. Not B.A. enough to be a full-blown Haxorus, huh? Shame. Let me at 'em, ref! Whistle blown! Ignition _light!_

Almost immediately, fire tore from its mouth like a bat outta hell, trying the old 'burn the plant to the ground' routine. I scooted out of there as fast as my little red boots could carry me, at the same time shooting a vine across the ground towards the thing's feet. Grass Knot, baby! The bigger they come, the harder they smash into the ground!

It _was_ a pretty B.A. crash, if I do say so myself. Poor thing didn't know what hit it. I rustled up my vines, working up a Stun Spore to keep the thing from getting back up, and let loose the cloud down the field. But the Fraxure..

_It friggin' Aerial Aced me! Who teaches a Fraxure friggin' Aerial Ace?_

It hurt like hell, and I felt a good portion of my vines get cut from my body. I'm whipped my vines up in a fury, beating at the thing like my life depended on it, but it took its claws and used _friggin' X-Scissor!_ This thing's a Dragon, for crying out loud! Where do you get off using a Bug-Type move?

I flew across the pit; smashing into a wall and feeling even more vines become cut from my body. The Fraxure, eyes blazing with a frenzy like I'd never seen, straight up tried to Guillotine me with its next charge, but I crawled out of the way, getting enough to vines around it to pull off a Mega Drain and get _some_ energy back.

That only worsened its Outrage, though. The crazy thing clawed at me without end, lopping off whatever vines I could send out to use as shields as I backed up. I let off a few Energy Balls, trying to keep it at a range, but it tore forwards despite the damage it was taking.

I felt my back end hit the wall, and before I knew it the Fraxure had me pinned up against it. Even as I wrapped my vines around it to Wring it Out, it let off another Incinerating blast, and fire ate at whatever was left of my body. Satisfied that I was done, it tried to move back and let me fall to the ground.

It couldn't, though, despite how hard it struggled, because I _friggin' have you now, you bastard._

I crunched down on my Jaboca berry, drawing out the Natural Gift within and letting it loose. New vines sprouted from my body and formed the shape of a titanic dragon, which basically consumed the Fraxure and spat it back out, hurtling against the wall. Stunned, confused, and disoriented, it couldn't move a single inch as I let loose my ultimate FSB attack:

_Friggin'_

_ Solarbeam_

_ Bitch_

The B.A. light energy burst outta me, swallowing up the Fraxure's whole body and shredding it to bits. When I was finally done, it crumpled into a lame heap, letting out a cry so pathetic I almost didn't feel like describing it. The referee, almost looking _surprised_, let out those words I knew I'd hear since we got here:

"Fraxure is unable to battle! Tangela and Arthur Dent win!"

Bitch, please. I didn't even break a sweat.

Author's Note

An entire chapter without Amber, Axel and company, huh?

Well… yes, actually. Believe it or not, Skyler and Lexi are important to this story too! Plus, it gives me an excuse to put more Pokémon battles in the story. _Are you really complaining?_ Oh, you… you are? Sorry. I'll do better, I promise.

Since it's relevant, I may as well do my quasi-traditional alternate names section:

Skyler Blue

A little background on Skyler first. If you've read any of the other stories I've written for the site (particularly Gorgon Zolo or Chancellor Moore), then you already know who Skyler is: he's my disclaimer writer. He's been with me for… geez, four years already, and the cruel running joke I've played on him for that time is that, well… he doesn't have a last name.

He's entirely fictitious, just in case you were confused by the way I talk about him. He's not the only fake worker we have here at Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc., but he's certainly the most prominent.

The reason I go into this is because you'll notice that all of the alternate names for him… still have his name as Skyler. It was only the last name that was in question. Here we go, then:

Skyler Fejer (Fey-er)

Skyler Hellion

Skyler Cloudsong

Skyler Florence

Skyler Mathers

Skyler Simmons

Skyler Combs

Skyler West

Skyler Pip

Skyler Akeley

Skyler Thetis

Skyler Charon

Skyler Statius

Skyler Ambrosia

Skyler Pelius

It was a pretty tough decision, yeah, and those of you who know your Greek Mythology should know whom Skyler is supposed to represent at this point. Why did I go with Blue? It's a Pokémon style name, and it's a nice pun. I do a lot of things for the sake of puns.

Helen Alexis:

This was one of the odder choices I made, in my opinion. Alexis never struck me as a _last_ name, but 'Alexis Helen' sounds _really_ bad. Incidentally, the first alternate name on the list is:

Alexis Helen

Helena Troy

Cassandra Forsythe

Helen Forsythe

There weren't a whole lot, if I'm honest. I kind of stumbled on Helen Alexis and was like… ah, well. That'll do, I suppose.

Viva la feminism?


	34. Chapter 32: Innately Awesome

Disclaimer: The following disclaimer is a re-run. We hope you enjoy it anyway.

_This is the fic that I started before we met  
Now that you've read it, leaves me with a kind of regret  
No disrespect, but Nintendo might get a bit upset  
Cause what I wrote really isn't what they'd want to permit_

_Fic that I started before we met  
I hope you like it, else I'll be filled up with regret  
All due respect to the people on Fan Fiction dot net  
Cause what I wrote really isn't what you'd ever expect_

_Well, __**I Choose You! **__And other such phrases  
Haven't read a fic like this in ages  
To skip such a fic would be just outrageous  
Though the plot as of late is just weird and aimless_

_DoOon't own don't OOOOOWN, DooOOn't OOOOOoooown. NOOOOoooo. NOOOO._

_DoOon't own don't OOOOOWN, DooOOn't OOOOOoooown. NOOOOoooo. Don't Own._

As always, five hundred points to any person who correctly identifies the parodied song!

**Chapter 32: Innately ****Awesome**

**Shelligan**

The celebration in Severna was indeed magnificent! I wish I had been there to see Qwill's glorious victory, but it was more than enough to hear the story told by the titan Goliath, boasting "he knew the little spud had it in him the whole time". There was dance, song (including a particularly grand performance by our very own Medici), and the greatest Northern-Style Barbeque I'd tasted in the entirety of my life!

The morning after, Amber embraced her father, who did his best not to tear up as he saw his daughter walk away. Gold also gave a stern command to Vanna, telling her to watch after 'his wee lass', and she happily agreed, kissing him goodbye on the cheek. With a loud, bellowing yell, the whole of Severna's Gym waved us goodbye, and we made our exit like a veritable band of heroes.

And so, a glorious new day dawns as we wind our way through the mountain paths leading to our next stop, Maxilla! Occasionally, we pause to take a deep breath of crisp, snow-scented air and watch in awe as small white flakes descend upon the rocky countryside, occasionally strewn with patches of boreal forest. Ahead of me, a meditative Treecko, a chatty Meditite, and a gorgeous Gardevoir; to my left, a redheaded Breeder; to my right, an energetic Gym Leader and her 'gentlemanly' Gallant partner. A classic group of young protagonists, boldly trekking towards… wait. Something's missing.

"Where's Axel?" I squirted.

Medici stopped, turning around with mild confusion. "Wait… where _did_ Axel go?"

Vanna and Amber stopped behind me. "He was just here a second ago…" Vanna mused.

"He probably got distracted," Amber sighed, slowly turning around and walking back down the path. Sure enough, Axel had stopped alongside the road and was squatting, examining something in the distance.

"Axel!" Amber scolded. "Could you at least _tell_ us when you're going to stop all of a sudden? For all we know, you could've…"

"Sh," Axel shushed her, to the amazement of all.

For Axel to interrupt Amber, to actually command her not to speak, something serious must be happening. I strained my eyes and scoured the nearby patch of woods, searching for what had grabbed Axel's attention. I couldn't see anything of importance, however.

Vanna, after looking around, was the first to cave. "What are we looking at, Axel?" she whispered.

Axel pointed down the small slope, at what appeared to be a small rock moving around on its own. "That Dwebble," he said, "is interesting."

We all let out a collective sigh of frustration, accompanied by the sharp crack of Amber's hand meeting the back of Axel's head. "Don't make us worry like that!" she reprimanded him.

"Sorry," Axel blushed. "I just don't want you to accidentally scare it away. You don't see Pokémon like this very often."

Amber paused for a moment, looking back at the Dwebble with confusion. "I'm sorry, I can't really see with this light, is it Shiny or…"

"No, no, nothing like that," Axel explained, looking over at Vanna. "You see it, right? A Gym Leader's got to have an eye for this sort of thing."

Vanna, bless her heart, examined that Dwebble as if it were a piece of modern art, searching for the hidden uniqueness in the otherwise ordinary looking Pokémon. After an eternity lasting about five minutes, she slumped visibly, admitting defeat. "I… I don't see it, Axel. Why is the Dwebble so interesting?"

"That Dwebble," Axel explained, leaning in as if telling a secret to all of us, "is innately awesome."

The rest of the group gave another collective sigh, not fully understanding the meaning of the statement. I, however, immediately recalled the first day my trainer Barnum and I had ever met Axel, and couldn't help but feel jealous.

It had been a more successful day than usual. Barnum and I had finally gotten a decently permanent job as performers in the Sunfall Circus, a fixture in the town of the same name. I had flipped through a flaming hoop for the first time, and gotten my first taste of that delicious, intoxicating concoction called 'audience adoration.' Barnum, following rule 12: 'Always Celebrate Success', had ordered a bushel of fresh fruit from what was purported to be the finest grocer in the land.

Oddly, after the show was over, the basket had still not arrived, even though we had been assured it would be here by midday. Barnum, a tad bit upset, was preparing to call the store when a knock was heard at the door, and who should be there but a young boy in a ridiculously light blue uniform with a Cyndaquil on his shoulder.

"Hi! I'm Axel, from Munson's grocer," he greeted us. "Sorry I'm late, but I got here around the time the circus started and… well, I'd never been to a circus before."

"Ah! Well that's understandable," Barnum smiled (rule 9: Forgive and Forget). "What'd you think?"  
"It was OK," Axel shrugged. "Except for that Squirtle, I mean. You're pretty lucky, having a Pokémon so innately awesome. He was great!" He sighed, handing the basket of fresh fruit over to Barnum "But here I am talking and I'm _already_ late enough to merit a full day's dock in lunch. This'll be fun. Totally worth it, though." He smiled, giving a salute. "Bye now!"

It was an odd first meeting, yes. But Barnum was always one for such things, and vowed at that moment to only ever order food from Munson's grocer. Since Axel was apparently the only deliveryman they had (or, as I later found out, the only other _employee_ Mr. Munson had), the two soon became fast friends.

Between all the times I'd seen Axel before Barnum's death and all the time I've spent with him afterwards, the only other Pokémon he'd ever described as 'innately awesome' was his own Cyndaquil. It was a term he didn't use lightly, and for this Dwebble on the side of the road to merit it, it must be very special indeed.

Quelling my envy with expert showmanship, I queried Axel as expressively as possible, trying to get across the message: "Would you like me to help you capture it?"

Axel looked down at me and smiled. "Nah, not yet, buddy. A Pokémon like that's got a mission in life. Let's see if we can give it a hand first, eh?" Saying this, he stood up, then carefully slid his way down the slope of the hill. I followed out of equal parts trust, interest, and obligation, and the rest of the group followed suit.

The Dwebble, upon seeing Axel draw near, acted opposite as I'd expect it to, snapping its claws as a warning instead of retreating into its shell. Axel put his hands in the air, showing that he wasn't carrying any Pokéballs, and knelt down about five feet in front of it. "Hi! My name's Axel Jackson. How you doing?"

This was the greatest thing about Axel, in my humble opinion; that he talked to us Pokémon as equals, regardless of how long he'd known them.

The Dwebble, seemingly not taken aback, responded immediately: "Dweb DWEBBLE dweb, Dwebebble EBBLE DWEB DWEB!"

Axel looked over at Medici. "Translation?"

"In English?" The Meditite remarked. "It translated to… Dweb DWEBBLE dweb, Dwebebble EBBLE DWEB DWEB!"

This time, Amber's hand found the back of Medici's head. "Be serious!"

"I _am_ being serious!" Medici defended himself, rubbing the back of his cranium. "That's what it said! It was basically gibberish… in fact; I believe in gibberish it translates to "Argle BLARGLE brag, FRICKETY FRACKETY Henry Cavendish."

"_We get it_," Amber groaned, sighing into her palm.

"Don't you speak gibberish, Gallant?" I addressed the Gallade. "Perhaps you could be of help?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea what you're prattling on about you incorrigible ragamuffin," he spat back.

Right.

More than likely, I would have continued teasing the Gallade: his short temper made it quite enjoyable, believe it or not. My attention was captured, however, by Gardevoir, who had taken to scribbling something hastily on her pad.

_It's hurting _her note read.

"What's hurting?" Vanna asked, concerned. "Are you…"

"_What? _What's hurting? Where? When? Why?" Medici had, of course, inserted himself into the situation, and was now hovering up at Gardevoir's eye level. "Breathe! Easy now, in, out, in out! _Focus Energy!_ Quick, how many feet am I hovering above the ground right now?"

Gardevoir, turning from leaf green to cotton candy pink, scribbled even faster on the pad. _Not me. The Dwebble; it's hurting. Sorry for the confusion._ As an afterthought, she wrote another note, this one reading: _Two and a half feet. I think._

"Phew," Medici said, wiping his brow and returning to the ground. "Ok then. Don't scare me like that."

Vanna, who had actually registered that the Dwebble was in pain, immediately went over to the Pokémon, kneeling down to examine it. Her kindness was rewarded with a sharply pinched finger, as the Dwebble snapped ferociously to defend itself. She pulled back with a yelp of pain, sucking on the finger to alleviate the soreness. A little longer than she needed to, actually… I'm fairly certain Axel turned red.

The Dwebble, taking advantage of the distraction, attempted to crawl away, but at this point Amber's nurturing instincts had taken hold. She immediately went to lift it, smacking the Dwebble's pincers aside when it lashed out. With such strength and determination, she probably could have caught it without battling had she wanted to, but she settled for picking it up and assessing its wounds.

"It doesn't appear to be hurt," she muttered, looking it over despite the Pokémon's frantic scrambling. "There's a few marks on its shell, but nothing out of the ordinary…" She paused for a minute and then, to the shock of everyone (particularly the Dwebble), pulled the Pokémon out of its shell in a single, swift motion.

We all gasped; I personally felt bile rise to the base of my throat.

Arceus above. How the _hell_ do you do it, Axel?

There were scatterings of wounds all across the Dwebble's body: not the type one would accrue from battling, but shrapnel wounds, from a shotgun or some sort of explosive device. Some were even still actively bleeding.

"The _hell_ are you doing walking around with these kinds of wounds?" Amber yelled, forgetting completely that this Dwebble didn't belong to us. "What have you been _doing?_"

"DWEB EBBLE! EBB!" The Dwebble yelled; scurrying frantically to get loose from Amber's grasp. It let loose a stream of acid from its mouth, not enough to seriously hurt Amber, but enough to cause her to drop the crab Pokémon. It tumbled to the ground, righted itself quickly, and darted into a nearby patch of forest, fading from view.

"Wait! Come back!" Vanna yelled after it, but it didn't listen. Anxious, she grabbed Axel round the arm with both hands. "We have to help it! Right, Axel?" I can't say whether she was acting or not, but that face could have made _anyone_ agree to _anything._

Axel was no different. "Inigo," he said quietly. "Follow it, and don't let it see you. We'll set up camp nearby, so take your time, find out what it's doing, and report back to us in the evening."

The Treecko let out a sharp nod of obedience and leapt into the woods, not making a sound despite how fast it was moving.

After a moment's reflection, we began to set up camp. I sighed, knowing that with Inigo gone, it would be my job to go find water. Feeling just a little useless, I unfolded the collapsible bucket in Axel's knapsack, and began to search for a spring,

**Inigo**

Despite its injuries, the Dwebble was far harder to track then I had expected. Though I made no noise, it seemed to know that I (or something) was following it, and intentionally ducked under tree roots and even dug underground to throw any pursuers off the scent. Perhaps it was just paranoid. Then again, perhaps it had every reason to be.

After a while, the Dwebble became more relaxed, satisfied that it had given its pursuer the slip. It crawled with purpose deeper into the forest, and silently I swung from pine to pine. As I followed, I observed that the bark of several trees was cut to shreds, and holes appeared to have been blasted into the ground in various places. Fallen needles on the earth were black in places, scorched by some form of incendiary weapon.

There was fighting here; that much was certain. But by whom? And for what?

After another hour's worth of sneaking, the Dwebble eventually skittered into a small cave, well hidden by the forest's surprisingly dense foliage. I landed softly on the ground, examining the area. The camouflaging effect was intentional: something was being hidden here. Leaf Blades extended just enough to matter, I inched my way into the cave, keeping myself pressed flat against the rock wall to avoid detection.

As I ventured further in, I heard an unexpected sound: clopping, as from hooves. Peering around the corner, I saw an unbelievable sight: a herd of Shiny Sawsbucks, huddled together as if in fear, near the back of the cave. Towards the front, closer to where I was standing, there was a roaring fire, and the Dwebble I had followed was speaking to the other Pokémon around it.

They were out of place amongst the herd. One, a Timburr, sat on a rock and stared into the fire, idly flipping the wooden beam he had back and forth. A Heracross sat cross-legged around the fire as well, rocking slowly back and forth. They both listened intently as the Dwebble gave its report to (who I presumed to be) their leader: an old Scizor, rusted from many years of life.

"More humans? To the north?" The Scizor affirmed, nodding slowly. "Troublesome. It pains me to have sent you on patrol alone, but with our numbers low as they are, it was necessary. Good work, Dwebble." The Dwebble gave a salute, and then set to work hewing a new shell from the surrounding rock.

"You think the hunters are coming back already?" The Timburr spoke up. "We just drove 'em off not a week ago. It usually takes them longer than this to resupply."

"Well, winter's coming soon," the Heracross chipped in. "We could be seeing an overlap between the Red Horn Hunters and the White Tuft Hunters."

"It matters little," the Scizor growled. "The Hunters are the Hunters, and it is only a matter of time before they wear us out." He sighed. "Without at least seven able-bodied fighters, we can not secure the borders like we need to."

"Think I should cut down some more trees, put up a few more walls?" The Heracross offered.

The Scizor shook its head. "No, Hachi. Any further disturbance and our position will be even _more_ obvious. We're barely hanging on to the essential balance of camouflage and defense as it is."

The Heracross (Hachi), nodded, continuing to rock back and forth and smiling despite the gravity of the situation. I myself was torn as to what to do: my pride as a warrior demanded I offer my blade immediately, my loyalty to Axel told me to immediately return to and report what I'd found.

I was spared the decision, as the conversation continued. I could not make a choice without learning everything, could I?

"Sitch," the Scizor spoke; addressing the Timburr, "What is on your mind? You seem to have come to a conclusion."

"It's a terrible idea," the Timburr said immediately, not taking his eyes from the fire.

"I don't know if we're in a position to turn down ideas, no matter how awful," the Heracross smiled. "I'm always willing to try anything once, you know."

"I doubt you'd feel the same about this," the Timburr grumbled.

"Out with it, Sitch," the Scizor commanded, and the Dwebble barked in agreement… I assume. I cannot understand it either.

"We could contact Death," the Timburr said; regret lacing every word of the sentence. My blood became as ice. Was their situation that dire, that they would resort to such a tactic?

Even as I condemned the idea, though, the horror of it was it made sense. Death, for all the terror he caused, never killed Pokémon. If it were contacted, she would no doubt rid the forest of every hunter in a ten-mile radius, if not every _human_ within that distance. I gulped, fighting my urge to yell. Severna was within that distance.

"You realize…" the Scizor said calmly. "That were we to seek the aid of Death, she would demand payment?"

"I'm willing to be the sacrifice," the Timburr said almost immediately. "If that's what it takes to protect this herd, I'll do it."

"You would abandon your family so readily?" the Scizor remarked.

The Timburr shook visibly at that, gulping down a yell of his own. "Of course not," he responded. "But I figure… I'll do the least amount of damage if I'm corrupted, so… I mean…"  
"No," the Scizor ruled, and the Timburr immediately nodded. "If anyone has to succumb, it should be me." He scraped a few flakes of rust from his skin. "I'm not long for this world as it is, and I have no one to miss me."

The Dwebble cried out in disapproval, and the Heracross nodded in agreement. "You're forgetting all of us," he smiled. "You think we'll be willing to sit back and watch you turn into a glowing metal puppet?" He ground a fist into the floor of the cave, actually leaving a crack. "Even if Death _does_ help us out, if he tries to take any one of us, I'll take her down. … If I can."

The Scizor smiled sadly, sighing in resignation. "We will cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we must send out a messenger. The Hunters may return at any time."

"Agreed," the Timburr nodded. "Though if I may make a suggestion, Master Iamb, we should figure out what to do with the Treecko eavesdropping on us first."

"Yeah…" the Heracross chuckled. "I'd been wondering about that for a while myself, actually."

I almost smiled out of respect for the Pokémon, but maintained my composure. "I was not foolish enough to assume myself completely hidden," I stated, entering the room and causing the Sawsbucks to reel back in shock.

The Scizor stood, its full height of six feet gleaming in the firelight despite the rust. "I assume you were commanded to follow young Dwebble?"

"Yes," I nodded. "In his defense, he did not make it easy, even for me."

"Your efforts have been acknowledged, young one," the Scizor said, and the Dwebble spoke something I did not understand and bowed in thanks. "Down to the core of it, who exactly are you, Treecko?"

"My name is Inigo," I began. "I am a warrior in the service of the human Axel Jackson. It was he who sensed that this Dwebble was part of something larger, and he who gave me the order to follow it, and return with information about its activities."

"And who exactly is this 'Axel', that we should let you fulfill these duties?" The Timburr said, swinging its wooden beam threateningly as it stood.

"A good man," I replied.

The Heracross laughed. "I kind of like that answer, actually." He stood as well. "But, as you've probably gathered, we're not exactly in a position to trust random humans right now."

"I understand," I responded curtly. "If it is the case that my Trainer is not welcome here, so be it. I only ask that you allow me to report my well-being. Then, I will gladly return and lend you my services, should he permit it." I looked over the four Pokémon, ensuring that I made eye contact with each one. "Though I have no doubt that he will permit it."

I had expected to be attacked, but the Scizor's sudden Bullet Punch still caught me off guard: for its age, it was incredibly fast. I parried it weakly, extending both Leaf Blades and hacking back with my free arm, but the Scizor easily parried the blow.

It continued to rain down strike after strike of sharp-edged fury with all four of its limbs, its body blurring in a dance of death that straddled the border of combat and art. I blocked each blow efficiently, focusing my concentration on uncovering the dance's break point: its one fatal flaw that could cause the whole combination to fall apart.

_Balance. Left leg._ As it lunged out with its left, I struck a cross counter-blow upward, upsetting the Scizor's balance and causing it to teeter for a fraction of a second. I whirled around, using my left Leaf Blade to lunge directly for its stomach, but it pushed back on its right leg, darting backwards and landing safely a few feet in front of me.

"It is unusual to see a Treecko that specializes in the Physical arts, let alone one with as much skill as you." He bowed, and I responded in turn. "Your blade is welcome here. As for your report, I will parley with your trainer myself. I wish to judge his character before I decide what his role in this will be. Are you satisfied with this course of action?"

I nodded. There was no fairer alternative I could have hoped for.

"Then come," the Scizor beckoned. "Take your place by the fire. I will return once I have met with this Axel Jackson."

He left without asking directions, but it did not matter. A warrior of his caliber would not need them.

Author's Note

I'm sure some of you know what I'm doing here.

It's not really supposed to be subtle.

You will notice that I've resisted putting quotes in… so far. I'm sure you'll be able to see some crop up before long.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about: good! Plus fifty points, simply because you're more likely to think I'm original.

Ok, fine. If you _do_ know what I'm talking about, plus 100 points. There, I'm not rewarding ignorance, happy?

Um… that's it, I think. Leave a review. If you want. AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. What now? What are you going to do? Huh? Probably still nothing, huh?

Viva la feminism?


	35. Chapter 33: Mind Games

Disclaimer: Seeing that Skyler is now working full-time as a character, the highly sought after position of disclaimer writer at Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. is open!

No, none of you readers may audition. The position is only open to fictional people. It's… it's a union thing.

Please bear in mind that as we search for candidates worthy of filling this position, the disclaimers will be almost _laughably_ bad. Probably. Depends on the candidate.

Let's get started then!

**Audition 1: Nathan Amarillo**

-Current Occupation: AFFI Janitor. Responsible for clearing out junk ideas.

_I am not doing this for any sort of glory  
I don't own this story  
It is kind of gory  
Actually, I do own this story  
But I don't own Pokémon… ory.  
Isn't my oratory… full of glory?  
No wait… I already said that…_

_THIS IS HARD!_

**Chapter 33: Mind Games**

**Medici**

I've been freaking out lately.

I think it's perfectly normal for me to be freaking out, though. There's a serial killer _in our party. _At any moment, it could just burst out of that ball and skewer Amber right through the chest! Or Steel Wing Vanna's head off. Or use its Psychic powers to cripple Gardevoir.

I know Skarmory don't usually have Psychic powers, but I can't be too careful with this one, now can I? Who _knows_ what kinds of heinous things Death does when he's turning her Pokémon into ruthless killing machines? I wouldn't be surprised if that thing can Self-Destruct.

So I've actually taken up meditating again. _I know, right? _Inigo was almost appalled, like actually training was _worse_ than the lack of training I usually do.

It kind of makes sense, though. Even if I'm strong enough to beat back anything that tries to kill us, I have to be able to Detect it before it can get away with anything. Meditating helps increase my focus and sharpen my senses… though I can feel myself get dangerously close to evolving with each session.

If I make it to Maxilla, I'm buying myself an Everstone. I really should have done that in Severna, but… you know me. Why do something today that you might not have to do ever?

Then again, if I _do_ evolve, I'll be close to Gardevoir's height. Still about a foot shorter, mind you, but at least my crush won't be _literally_ more than twice my size. It probably wouldn't improve my chances at all, but you never know.

Still… those ridiculously huge legs… and that _mouth. _It makes me shiver thinking about it. It's not fair, you know? Qwill, Inigo, and Shelligan will just turn into larger, more awesome looking versions of themselves when they evolve. If it happens to me, I'll look like a cross-dressing yoga instructor. _Where is the justice in this world?_

I sighed, jostling the stir-fry I was preparing with a quick flick of the frying pan. Looking over the campsite, I saw Shelligan drearily carrying a bucket of water back to the site, poor guy. I saw Amber and Vanna finish setting up the tents, saw Gallant return with some freshly cut firewood, and saw Axel trailing just a little behind. He stopped, bending down to pick up a few more sticks off the ground.

As I looked at Axel and the forest behind him, a twinge like an electric shock ran through my mind. I walked up to Amber, asking her if she could hold the frying pan for a moment. She took it, confused, and I burst forward, intercepting a Scizor's incoming attack with my foot just as it shot from the forest, Metal Claws aimed at Axel's head. I kicked again, knocking aside its claws and throwing it off balance, before Force Palming it in the face, sending it careening back into a tree.

Meditation justified, I suppose. It's important to have someone who can do this 'see without seeing' stuff when Inigo's not here. And I've got to admit; I feel pretty damn awesome right now.

"There is an old saying," the Scizor said, hauling itself off the ground. "That a bad trainer attempts to teach Pokémon to protect him, but cannot." It nodded, acknowledging Axel with… respect I think. Steel faces are hard to read. "Conversely, a _good_ trainer never asks his Pokémon to defend him; yet they do, without question."

"That was a pretty nice compliment," I addressed the Scizor. "Were you… were you expecting me to translate that for him, or…?"

"You speak the language of men?"

"It's _really_ not that hard. A curl of the tongue here, a puckering of the lips there; I suppose the worst part is all the times you have to shut your mouth unnecessarily, just to make a _sound._ Muh, puh, buh, vuh, fuh, what _is_ that, I mean really?"

The Scizor stared at me. It thought to itself: _what an annoying creature_, and I'm fairly certain it knew that I'd heard it. Aloud, however, it just said: "you were going to translate my message?"

"Oh, right," I remembered, turning to Axel. "It says that you're a good trainer because I don't want you to die… or something like that."

"Oh," Axel said, blinking in surprise. "You sure it didn't say anything like: 'leave now, or I will be forced to cut you and your human companions to shreds for trespassing on the land of my people?"

"Nah," I shrugged. "It hasn't said anything like that yet. Are you planning on saying anything like that?" It shook its head solemnly, thinking now that I was wasting its time. "Nope. Nothing doing. What _do_ you want, then? Or do you just randomly attack people for shiggles?"

"I'm not even aware of what that word means… nor do I have the time or desire to hear of its origins." It walked forward slowly, and I instinctively hovered in front of Axel, ready to lash out if it pulled something else. "I am here because my compatriots and I have come into contact with a certain Treecko named Inigo, who identifies himself as a servant of this Axel."

I relayed the message word for word: it seemed to be kind of important now. Axel, upon hearing the word 'servant', slumped visibly. "Is he still calling himself that? I've told him not to think that way. Just… he didn't call me 'Master', did he?"

"I do not believe so," the Scizor responded.

"Good," Axel said, sighing relief. At this point, the rest of the group had realized what was going on, and Axel caught them up as they walked over.

"Is Inigo ok?" Vanna asked, leaning on Axel as she asked. That never gets old, somehow. "And what about that Dwebble? Don't tell me they're hurt!"

"They are both fine," the Scizor relayed. "The Dwebble's wounds are tended daily by our herd, and the Treecko is staying with us of his own volition."

I really just felt like a parrot at this point, relaying messages back and forth. Is this how all translators feel? Is it bad of me to want to spice the messages up a little?

"Your Pokémon seemed to believe that once you understood the situation, you would agree with his decision," the Scizor continued. "It has, however, made it clear that it will return should you command it to. Such is a warrior's loyalty."

"Well all right then," Axel urged. "Go on, I'm listening. How can we help?"

The Scizor flinched the tiniest bit on hearing Axel's last question. It gave me a questioning look, asking if I was sure I'd translated correctly, and I nodded with a smile. "It's kind of what he does," I explained. "He's going for 100% completion. _In Life."_

The Scizor smiled… I think. It doesn't… it doesn't really have much of a mouth, you know? It's thoughts softened for a moment, anyways. "Very well," it said. "I shall explain.

My compatriots and I, the four of us, have been contracted to defend a herd of Sawsbuck from Hunters. While they are not defenseless, the Hunters outnumber them substantially, and their numbers dwindle each year as they are slain. Little more than twenty of them were alive when we were first contacted… thankfully, we have been able to keep that number from falling any farther."

"A herd of _twenty_ Sawsbuck? Are you _sure_ you got that right, Medici?" Amber said, shocked, seeming even more flabbergasted when I nodded yes. "That's incredible," she muttered. "Sawsbuck are _hugely_ endangered. The largest herd on record is only like… twelve."

"Which only drives their prices up more…" Vanna commented. "Winter Sawsbuck pelts go for upwards of ten _million_ P on the black market."

"Ten…ten _million P?_" Axel yelled, almost stereotypically freaked out. "That's… that's _ten_ bikes!"

Or, more impressive to me, two _hundred_ gold nuggets. … The conversion rates in this country never quite sat right with me.

"As of late, however," the Scizor continued despite my ramblings, "the four of us have become overwhelmed. The last strike by the Red Horn Hunters left us worn out completely, and blasted open a hole in our defenses. With the coming of winter, the White Tuft Hunters will no doubt be upon us soon."

"And Inigo's decided to help you fight them off," Axel finished. "Well, of course he has. I'd almost be ashamed if he hadn't."

"Almost?" The Scizor queried.

"Well…" Axel explained, "Inigo's been through a lot. I don't know if I could be ashamed of him for anything. That'd be downright unappreciative, you know?"

The Scizor was startled, but played it off well. "I suppose so," it managed, examining Axel from head to toe, trying to make out his character. "Perhaps you could tell me just what he's been through? I'm curious as to why he seems so old when he's still so young."

"It's not my place to say," Axel said immediately, without even thinking about it. "His past is _his_ past, and he's got the right to tell as much or as little of it as he wants."

That did the trick. The Scizor physically buckled, mind racing as he thought of the impossibility… or rather, the _improbability_ of hearing what he'd just heard. _He truly thinks this way,_ it thought. _Incredible. I have been wrong._

It kneeled to the ground, showing its respect. "I had deluded myself into thinking that trainers like you were no more," it said quietly. "If it is your desire, I will lead you to our herd. Perhaps you could lend us your strength."

Axel, upon hearing this, turned red immediately. "Ah… don't say things like that, I'm just a normal guy, really. Any decent trainer would feel that same way… what's going on here is clearly wrong." He crossed over to the Scizor, urging it to stand, then extending his hand. "But I will help you. If I can, that is."

The Scizor took Axel's hands and shook it, and by the look on Axel's face I could tell that it had a _pretty damn _strong grip. As they were shaking, one of the Pokéballs on Axel's belt began to flash, catching us all off guard.

"Oh?" Axel asked, seemingly to no one. "Is now the moment? All right then." He cleared his throat. "I'll follow you in just a moment, I have something that needs taking care of." He glanced over at me. "Medici, come on. I'll need a translator… now more so than ever, actually."

I started freaking out again, but did my best not to show it.

Again, pretty sure that's normal, though.

**Inigo**

The fire was dying out slowly, but the night watch continued on. Even though I had explained that the humans the Dwebble had sighted were Axel and company, the warriors had still decided to move to high alert.

They knew what they were doing; enough so that, when I volunteered to go find firewood, they would not let me go alone.

"It's typically my job anyways," the Heracross (Hachi) smiled, bouncing up from his cross-legged position. "And besides, might as well get to know each other. May be together for quite some time."

I nodded in resignation, and the Heracross accompanied me, humming to himself despite the severity of our situation. We headed south, and I noticed that a particular patch of forest had been thinned out… systematically, so that not many trees were cut down from any one part, but noticeable to the trained eye. Hachi surveyed the area, looked a tree up and down, and with a single swoop of its mighty horn, sliced through the trunk as if it were paper.

My jaw hung open for the briefest of seconds. Enough for Hachi to notice, though. Catching the tree before it fell down, he gently laid it to the ground, looking at me with a look of amusement. "Haven't you ever seen anyone cut firewood before?" He laughed.

"You seem to enjoy it," I sputtered, not really knowing what to say.

"That's just the way I am," the Heracross chuckled. With a joyful cry, it felled another tree in a single Megahorn slice. I was beginning to feel a tad inferior.

"You are… quite good at this," I complimented.

"Nah… not really," he offered. "It's a lot harder than battling, I tell you that." He sliced down another tree. Wanting to feel useful, I began to chop the fallen ones into smaller logs, to make the trip back easier.

"You have battled a lot, I take it?" I asked.

"Not so much before I came here," he explained, wiping his brow with a smile. "Just one or two bouts during mating season, you know how it goes."

"I… do not, actually," I admitted. "I have never spent much time in the wild."

"Really? Ah, right…" he smiled. "You're what humans consider a 'starter' Pokémon, huh? Raised in captivity, I take it?"

"I would not know," I answered simply, continuing to chop apart the trees he laid down. There was something oddly restful about such methodological, tedious work. We were silent for a while, each performing his own task, until he turned around to face me.

"Is there something eating you?" it asked. "You seem very… tense."

"You seem quite relaxed, all things considered," I countered.

Hachi laughed. "You got me there," he admitted. "It's a quirk of mine, I suppose. I try not to let anything get to my head, you know?"

"That is a skill I would not mind mastering," I replied, wiping the sweat from my brow.

"Ah, come off it," the Heracross waved. "Anyone as diligent as you's got to be an Occlumency _master_."

"A… what?"

"You know…" he explained, placing yet another tree to the ground. "Mind shielding, raising a 'wall of will', that sort of thing. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Of course I knew. I was more familiar with it than most, because it was the one thing that I lacked. Well, perhaps not the _only_ thing, but a large portion of it.

"If I were to confide in you, Hachi, would you tell anyone else?" I asked.

He seemed caught off guard, and for good reason too. Even I was shocked that I was about to ask for help. It was not quite like me, but… it is hard to explain. It is almost as if it were preordained, so that I might grow stronger. Perhaps that book of Fictionist philosophy had had an effect after all.

"Only if what you tell me endangers what we're doing here," Hachi smiled, in answer to my question.

"I pray that it does not," I asserted.

"Well, go on then, out with it. It won't do you any good just to hold it to your chest," the Heracross urged with a smile.

"My thoughts…" I explained, almost thankful to finally have someone to talk to about it, "they… are like an open book. Anyone with a fraction of psychic power can enter them at will, yell at me, mess with my emotions, bend my spirit in ways against my nature… it is a weakness I have not found training to overcome." I looked him in the eye. "You seem to be able to ignore everything around you, if you should wish. I think I could learn from you."

"I _could _be offended by that, you know," he joked. "But it's always seemed silly to me to be offended by the truth, so I guess I won't be." He thought for a moment, idly chopping at one of the fallen lengths of wood, and then abruptly sat down, folding his legs into a cross-legged position.

"All right, then… let's see if I can figure out how to help you…" he scratched his horn as he mused, and I mimicked his position across from him, waiting for him to begin the training. "Well, we start at the beginning, I guess. The three most important factors that go into Occlumency are self control, self-discipline, and self esteem." He looked me over. "You _clearly_ have the first two down, so I've gotta ask: do you like yourself, Inigo?"

I blinked. I had never considered the question before, and it caught me off guard.

"Well there we go," he chuckled. "I know you didn't answer, but it's one of those questions where anything but a yes is a no." He cocked his head, his horn jutting out at a comical angle. "We'll go with that, then. Any particular reason you don't like yourself, man?"

There was, of course, a _huge_ reason why I did not like myself: twelve of them, to be exact. I shifted my gaze downward, trying to avoid the question, but the Heracross was adamant. "I…" I began. "I have done things that I am not proud of in my life," I put simply.

"And these things are…" Hachi pushed.

"I'd rather not…"

"You _have_ to, man," he shrugged. "I know it sucks, but you can't keep people out of your mind when your spending energy trying to forget something." He sighed. "It's not gonna be pretty, but you just need to come out with it. Accept it. Make it your own, and use it to Megahorn people out of your brain."

I could already feel my subconscious rebelling against the idea, attempting to quell any desires I had to freely admit what I had done. I quashed this, however, because as much as I did not want to admit it, the Heracross was right. If I could not learn to like myself, who was to say I would not find other peoples' ideas of how I should act better than my own? It seemed like a plausible concern.

Remembering is painful, though. It only takes the briefest slip of will to see the faces again, to hear the screams and the cries for mercy. Even now, after all this time, it makes my insides burn with shame.

Could I really learn to accept something like this? There was only one to find out.

"I was a fisher of men," I whispered, locking stares with Hachi. "A child of Death."

Author's Note

Was anyone actually shocked by this revelation? There were hints in previous chapters, after all. Then again, everything seems obvious to me, seeing as I'm the friggin' author.

First off: wow. Have you seen the number of reviews jump? 34,000 points to Omega the Omniscient, who reviewed every. Single. Chapter. Sorry, adventurerXD, but we have a new leader! We can all learn from Mr. the Omniscient's example!

Or not, if you don't want to. It won't hurt my feelings. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY. Or maybe I do. I should ask my girlfriend about that.

Answers to questions that have been asked:

_This neighbor nation to Salvout, Ginli was it? Was it originally inhabited by a majority of Pokémon, or were those Pokémon Malick mentioned under a trainer's orders?_

Ginli is a nation of humans, just like Salvout. I'm not doing a 'Dances with Wolves' thing yet. YET. Actually, maybe I am. I'm not sure? Yes. No.

_That Xatu... Would arrogant be right? Is it really arrogance if you can back it up?_

Yes. Yes it is.

_I'm not quite getting whom Skyler represents. Is it Perseus?_

Not quite! But you're on the right track with Greek Mythology.

And… I think we're done here. _Cool._

Viva la feminism?


	36. Chapter 34: A Child

Disclaimer:

**Audition 2: Tony Montana**

Former Occupation: Fictional Drug Kingpin (Scarface)

_(Ahem)_

_You cockroaches wanna own Pokémon?_

_OKAY!_

…

Amaxing: That's… that's it?

Tony: Yeh. That's it.

Amaxing: I was… uh, expecting some more punch, Tony; I got to say. You know, maybe play a little rough? Say hello to my little friend, and all that?

Tony: (Stares)

Amaxing: Okay, fine. We'll be in touch. NEXT!

**Chapter 34: A Child**

I hate him.

He's a nice guy!

I should kill him.

I don't think I should do that.

All he does is torture me. I really should kill him.

He's trying to help me, right? I should be thanking him for making her voice go away.

He didn't get rid of all the voices though!

He's only human! And she was the one that was making me do the bad stuff anyway.

But I enjoyed it, too. It wasn't only her.

I don't enjoy it! Hurting people is bad!

It's such a rush when I feel their bones cracking under my sheer weight, though.

NO! That's killing people! Killing people counts as hurting people, right?

Though if they're dead, they don't hurt anymore, right?

I shouldn't think like that! I should be thinking up a name!

A name? It's Deathwing, isn't it?

No, that's not my name. It's the name that she gave me, but it's not my name.

Do I remember what my name was before she took me?

No, I don't.

Well then, why can't I just keep Deathwing? Who cares if he likes it or not?

Because that was the name I had when I killed people! I shouldn't be killing people, so I shouldn't use that name! It makes sense, right?

I don't think that makes a whole lot of sense.

Well it makes sense to me!

It doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah, ok, it doesn't make sense to me. But it's like… symbolic, right? Of turning over my new leaf or something? I like it!

I think it's kind of cheesy.

I don't care how cheesy it is, it should help, right?

But I want to go kill something again!

NO! I don't want to kill things anymore, ok?

I don't even a little?

Maybe I do a little, but I think all normal people do a little. But I can't just go around killing people, because that makes it so that they aren't alive!

I see! I'm denying them the pleasure of killing people by killing them. So cruel! How did I not see that before?

I… I don't think I should be thinking that way, but I guess that's close enough for now.

So if I am going to start a new, only killing on special occasions type of life, what should my name be?

I don't think it should have anything to do with killing or hurting people.

So 'Murderess' is out, and 'Assassina' as well.

Why did I even think of those names?

It's the only thing I've known for a while now! Cut me some slack!

I understand, though I don't want to understand. So anyway, I should run down a list of names that might fit.

Does it have to describe me? Because I could go for something simple like 'Nancy' or 'Brittany' or 'Lois'.

I think it should it be a little more original than that. I've got as much time as I need, and I don't want him to be disappointed!

Who cares if he's disappointed?

I kind of care a little.

Why do I care?

Because he's nice! I said that!

But I also hate him.

I don't hate him!

I do.

But I don't!

I agree to disagree.

I guess that's as good as I'm going to get for now. But I'm off track! I need a name, right?

I still like 'Deathwing'. It's cool and intimidating.

It has her name in it! I'm not listening to her anymore, so I shouldn't have her name in my name.

Maybe I could just change the 'Death' part? I could be… Ironwing? Sharpwing? Darkwing?

I don't think I'm a duck.

Of course I'm not a duck, I'm a Skarmory!

That completely went over my head, didn't it?

Probably, yeah.

Ah, well. At any rate, I don't like just changing the 'Death' part. That doesn't seem like I'm trying at all either.

But then what should I do?

Maybe I could try making my name what I am, or what I want to be?

That's the best idea I've had all day!

I have my moments. Still like 'Deathwing', though.

I am not going to keep my name as Deathwing!

Fine, fine, I understand. But getting back on track, I should make my name something I am or want to be!

So what do I want to be? A good Skarmory? Should I be that?

Only if I want my name to be 'Goodgirl' or something like that.

I don't think that sounds good.

I don't like it.

I think maybe I should try something else.

I think that's a good idea.

I should still try to be a good Skarmory, though. I just shouldn't base my name around that.

Maybe I should try to be all dainty and ladylike, right? Make up for all the bad stuff I did?

So I'm thinking of, what, Lady? Eliza? Scarlett?

What about _Skar_lett?

I think that's horrible, and I should never do that again.

I kind of agree.

I liked it!

Nobody asked me!

How long have I been here, anyway?

I've been here the whole time; I've just been quiet. I guess… I guess I'll stop talking now.

Good. Outbursts like that could distract me.

Should I go take a hike?

Yeah, I probably should. It'll let me clear my head.

Ok, then. Tell me if I come up with a name!

Will do. Now, back on task... my name.

Deathwing?

_Would I please stop that?_

Fine, jeez. I don't have to get so angry. That's my problem.

Ooh! I could have my name be about not getting angry anymore! Like… Serenity! Or… Peace!

That's fine, I suppose, provided I don't mind sounding like a hippie.

What's a hippie?

I don't feel like explaining it right now. I'll tell me later. Let's just say… no to Peace and Serenity. And Mercy, because I _know_ that's the next thing on my mind!

How did I _know_ that?

I have my methods. And, to be honest, I'm pretty predictable.

So predictable my name could be… Destiny?

Still sounds too much like a hippie, in my opinion. But I'm getting somewhere. Maybe I should stay away from naming myself after an emotion, or some kind of philosophical concept.

Maybe I should reference something, you know? Like that Meditite's name is Medici, which was an Italian political dynasty, and the Treecko's name is Inigo, which is a reference to some movie.

_The Princess Bride! _It's a good movie!

I've seen it?

No, I haven't seen it. But I've heard really good things. I kind of want to see it some day. Ooh! Maybe my name could be…

I am _not_ naming myself 'Princess', 'Buttercup', or any combination therein.

Oh…

I kind of like the medieval theme, though. Since I'm a Steel type Pokémon, I could be some sort of knight in shining armor.

Were there any female knights?

Jeanne Hachette? Joan of Arc? Queen Isabella?

How do I _know_ that?

I read it somewhere, once.

I can _read?_

Maybe. I might have just heard someone talking about it. I can't be too sure.

I don't think I can read… the books are all way too small. And I don't speak any human languages!

True, I don't… I kind of liked Hachette, but it sounds a lot like 'Hatchet'.

But that's good for me! Because I'm a giant, flying, metal bird that cuts people… oh. Right. I'm not naming myself after a Death thing.

Right. Exactly. I catch on quick enough, I suppose.

I still like the Medieval theme. Ooh! What about Knightwing?

Can I get off the 'wing' names, please?

I guess, but what else is Medieval? Horses don't really work; Castle is… a stretch, kind of. Plus it's not really a living thing, not is it?

I think I've got it!

Me again?

Seriously, I thought I was going to take a hike!

I did! But I came back a few minutes ago and heard me talking and I thought up a really fitting name for me that has a medieval theme!

` Well, all right, I suppose I'll give it a listen.

I was thinking, like, I'm really big, right? And I wanted to be something classy and feminine but sort of imposing and stuff!

Where did I get all of that? I didn't say anything about that.

But I was thinking it!

I suppose it sounds like a good idea anyways…

I know, right? But anyway, I thought of a way to really embody the bigness, and the medievalness, and the powerfulness, and the…

Would I just come out with already?

…

Ooh. I kind of like that.

_I know, right?_

I have to agree, it's a fitting name. I think he'll like it. Not that I care.

I _do_ care, don't I?

Not even a little. But I think I should, at the very least, let him know that I'm ready, right?

Right! I think I should do that.

And so I started knocking against the wall of the Pokéball, so that it would start vibrating and flashing and stuff. After a few minutes, the ball opened, and I burst out of it, impulsively letting out a shrill cry. I should probably stop doing that.

He was there, wearing the black visor and the green jacket like always. The Meditite that always seemed ready to beat me up was there too, and I saw the other people and Pokémon standing what they considered a safe distance away.

He smiled at me, waving hello. "Well?" He asked me. "What'll it be, then?"

I thought for a moment, making sure that I'd be able to live with the name forever, and decided that… yeah, I could.

"I kind of like the name… Dragonette," I said, hoping it sounded as regal and cool as I thought it did.

I don't know if it did, but he cracked a wide grin when the Medici translated it back to him. "I kind of like it too, actually," he complimented. "Dragonette it is, then!

I'd kind of wanted some kind of fanfare or something, but it's nice that he likes the name.

I think there might be something happening, though! He's reaching behind and pulling something out!

What is it? What is it?

It's…

"Here,' he said, placing a large dish in front of me. "Medici made stir-fry for dinner tonight. Eat up, and then head back into your Pokéball, all right?" He smiled at me. "You're doing a great job, Dragonette. Keep on being yourself and one of these days you'll be able to roam like these guys get to." He pointed at his Cyndaquil, then the Meditite, and then back to his Squirtle. "Baby steps, though. Got to learn to not kill people before you can fly, right Dragonette?"

He keeps using my name! He must really like it!

He's trying to reinforce the new identity I'm constructing for myself with repetition and positive conditioning.

I think it's working, too!

I sure hope so. Otherwise I'm stuck with me forever.

I'm confused.

Yes, I am.

Me too!

_I didn't ask me!_

Aw…

**Vanna**

It's amazing. It's absolutely amazing.

A little over two weeks ago, that Skarmory was tearing up forests and trying to bite Axel's head off. Now it's almost eating out of his hand!

Hee hee. That's my Axel, I suppose.

I'm starting to get a little concerned, actually. This is a man who helps random strangers, including wild Pokémon, on a whim. A trainer who understands Pokémon so well that he can talk them down from being corrupted serial killers! It's almost unnatural, really, and he somehow pulls it all off with a smile on his face.

This is bad. I'm _really_ starting to get attached to this guy.

After dinner was over, the Skarmory went back into its Pokéball like it had been told (again, amazing!) and we began to pack up camp, opting to move to wherever the Scizor and its comrades had made their base. I started pulling down the tent that I'd _just set up_, and came to a sudden, horrifying realization.

I can't go with them.

I can already see it, Axel charging those hunters, smacking them around and sending them running with their tales between their legs. And that was just him personally, with all his Pokémon with him, he'd be a whirlwind of righteous fury, except without any anger, just… good intentions.

If I was there when this happened, I… I don't think I'd be able to help myself. I'm having a hard enough time as it is. I needed to think of something; some reason to not leave completely, but not be around for a day or two, but what?

As we walked to the edge of the woods, I almost gave up hope, but a sign posted on a tree nearby caught my eye, and I smiled. I really do get lucky, don't I?

"Axel, Amber…" I said, stopping suddenly. "I was just thinking; should we really all just… go in at once like this? Shouldn't we inform the authorities first?"

"Ideally, yes," Amber sighed. "But you _know_ he never thinks of that."

"I thought of it!" Axel lied, suddenly defensive. "But… um… there isn't really any time, right? The White Corn Hunters or whatever could be back at any time, and we've got to be ready!"

"Then I'll go," I offered, making the most sincere face possible. "I actually know the local Pokémon Ranger around here; his cabin's a few miles south." This was true, I should add. I'm not just trying to lie my way out of this. "I'll go alert him and catch up with you guys later, ok?"

"Ms. Vanna," Gallant said immediately, taking a knee as he likes to do. "If it pleases you, could I accompany Mr. Jackson and Ms. Gold? I feel I should lend my services to these warriors, particularly because someone will need to pick up the slack that the Treecko leaves behind."

I have to say; I'm finding Gallant's rivalry with Inigo more adorable with each passing day. How could I say no? "That's fine, _Sir_ Gallant. I'm sure Xatu, Gardevoir and I will be able to make do on our own."

"Wait, wait, hold on," Axel said, smile actually dropping. "You're going to go out alone without Gallant? I mean, Xatu and Gardevoir or strong, sure, but…"

"What's a matter, Axel?" I fake pouted. "Afraid that I won't get anything done without a man around?"

He turned beet red, which almost made me do the same. "No, no! Nothing like that, but…" He waved frantically through the air, trying to assure me of what I already knew. "I just… I don't know. I've had a bad feeling in my gut all day. I'd feel better if you just came with us."

Tricky. I hadn't expected any resistance, and it's actually a little hard to meet Axel's eye at the moment. But I can't go! Plus, the more I think about it… the more I realize someone probably _should_ contact the authorities. It's actually a bit sad I only thought of that because I needed a way out of something.

Ah well. Not like I can control how my mind works.

"I'll be fine Axel, really," I reassured him, grasping his shoulder gently, but firmly. "Ranger German is actually an old friend of mine; _he's_ not going to let me get hurt, even if there is something out there."

Axel bit his lip, and I could almost see the gears turning in his head as he tried to think up a solution that made us both happy. Eventually, without saying a word, he grabbed Qwill off his shoulder and held him in front of himself.

"Qwill," he said, almost sounding like a military general. "I want you to go with Vanna. Listen to what she tells you to do, and keep her safe; and feel free to disregard the first order if it conflicts with the second one, all right?"

I fought to keep my jaw from dropping. He was sending Qwill with me? His _Starter_ Pokémon? The Pokémon he'd had for the longest, and possibly cherished more than any other?

Control yourself, Vanna. In a few minutes, the temptation will be removed completely.

Qwill, responding as enthusiastically as usual, barked cheerily, then leapt out of Axel's hands and perched on my shoulder. He didn't weigh as much as I thought he did. I walked around tentatively, thinking that it would be awkward, but Qwill kept perfect balance throughout the whole thing. It's like he's bolted to my arm! So cute.

"Well, all right Axel," I said. "If it makes you feel better, I'll take Qwill. Thank you."

"Nah, thank you," he smiled back. "I would have been worried sick if you'd just left, but having Qwill go with you is basically like going myself, so I can rest easy." He waved. "Thanks, Vanna! Do be careful, ok?"

"Don't worry!" I called back; mock scolding him. "I _am_ a Gym Leader, after all, Axel. I can take care of myself!"

Pro tip. When travelling anywhere by yourself, don't _ever_ say that.

Author's Note

For once, I'm actually at a loss for what to put here.

I'd do the alternate names thing, but… well, it's late, and I've done all the good ones. Medici, Inigo, Shelligan, and Qwill… they've all only ever been named that. Heck, I've even always intended to name Skarmory Dragonette. Note, while the name _is_ a reference drop, it really isn't significant. Yet. Might not ever be, but I might get one or two good puns out of it.

… Yup…

Maybe I should just ask for reviews? Plugs? C2 memberships? Nah, that's sleazy. And it's not really my style, either. Then again, that's probably why I don't have all that many views, either…

Hm….

This is legitimately my stream of consciousness, too. I feel I should say that. Some of the other author's notes are scripted or edited, but this… just spell checked. Don't want to make it seem like when I'm completely unfiltered I'm also illiterate.

Not exactly the best impression for an author to give, huh?

Nope.

Then again, stream of consciousness is how I've done some of my better works. I remember sitting in class once (not that I'm saying you should write in class), and getting so bored I just wrote the sentence: 'it was that kind of night.' I kept adding on sentences that seemed like they should go after the other sentences until it turned into the first scene of a noir-type detective novel. I might have it somewhere, let me see if I can find it…

Hold on a sec.

Found it! And would you look at that, I completely misremembered what the first line was. Ah well. Here it is! I don't think I'm going anywhere with it, but I like it. The only thing I've edited is any BIG swear words, since I've kept this story strangely PG-ish so far.

_Wednesday: dark. A clear sky with no stars. Odd. It's nights like tonight that spur on split-second feelings and urges, that inspire teenage sweethearts to drive to the local hangout and stare up into the sky's milky wonders. And to do other things as well, naturally. It's nights like tonight that give the poet and the painter the briefest glimpse into the quintessence of their art, and drive them to madly compose until they can capture that inkling and preserve it for future generations. It's nights like tonight when the wolf howls in madness and loneliness, and all those who hear it pause and sigh: 'yes. That's right.'_

_It wasn't exactly the kind of night I wanted to be crammed into a small corner booth of a worn-down diner, doing my best to stay discrete while keeping on eye on someone for a client, but that's how business goes sometimes. At least there's a window, so I can imagine how the cool breeze must feel on the skin, so I can imagine what the moon must look like, hanging still and solitary against a spotless black canvas… but it's… ah, hell. Anymore of this and I'll ruin my 'rough-and-tumble private eye' shtick… as if I had one to being with._

_To top off the fact that I was stuck in a hellhole on a night that overflowed with heavenly bliss, I was currently partaking in the most degrading work a man of my field could do: F***ing. Cheating. Boyfriends. This may seem extreme to those of you who aren't in my line of work, but I truly believe anyone who's disloyal in a relationship deserves the death sentence. Then again, it's because of cheaters that I've been able to eat for the last few months, so beggars can't be choosers, I suppose._

_I know what you're thinking. 'Now's about the time the man introduces himself by name, followed by his title: Private Eye. He'll rant on for a bit about the state of modern society, and then a beautiful dame will walk in and set the story in motion.'_

_Ha. I wish. The prospect of one day putting away a major crime boss and snatching away his ridiculously well proportioned trophy wife is 95% of the reason that all men become private detectives. Don't let them tell you otherwise. It's also the reason that 65% of them quit after the first year: because it never happens. The only tail I've ever gotten from seven years working this job was from cute little 20-something redhead, who later stole my wallet. Though that was really my fault: the name 'Red Headly' was clearly fake, looking back._

_Hey, I don't claim to be smart: just observant. It's one of the things I make sure I tell my clients before money changes hands. It's also one of the reasons I don't have many clients._

This is very much what Detective Jenkins _should_ have sounded like! Unfortunately, I didn't hit this groove until he was already dead so… ah well.

Reading this, you may assume I have a thing for redheads.

And, well… yup. I don't know why. If there's any college-aged, redheaded females out there who read this, hi! Drop me a line and let me know you care, all right? Promise not to hit on you. Maybe.

Last but not least, and possibly more relevant than usual:

Viva la feminism?


	37. Chapter 35: A Tactician

Disclaimer:

**Audition 3: Professor Oak**

Former Occupation: Fictional Professor from… somewhere.

_Hello There!_

_Welcome to the world of not owning POKEMON!_

_My name is OAK! People call me the POKÉMON PROF!_

Amaxing: The… 'prof'? What's a prof? Also, Oak? We've already introduced you. Go ahead and move on.

_This world is inhabited by creatures called POKÉMON!_

_For some people, POKEMON are pets. Others use them for fights._

_Myself… I study POKEMON as a profession._

Amaxing: One, we know what Pokémon's about. Otherwise we wouldn't be here. Two, why do you keep saying Pokémon in all caps? … _How_ do you keep saying Pokémon in all caps?

_First, what is your name?_

A: Um… Max English.

_Right! So your name is MAX!_

A: _Seriously, how do you keep doing the all caps thing?_

_This is my grandson._

A: Wait, where?

_He's been your rival since you were a baby._

A: What, did we fight over bottles or something?

…_Erm, what is his name again?_

A: _**How can you not know that?**_

_That's right! I remember now! His name is HOWCAN!_

A: … I feel like I've accidentally created a horribly unfortunate new character. Damn writing at 3:00 in the morning.

_MAX!_

A: Agh! Don't yell like that, you scared me!

_Your very own POKÉMON legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with POKÉMON awaits! Let's go!_

A: Huh. That was actually a pretty decent segue. This story is kind of like my own Pokémon legend, huh? Congratulations, professor! You get a callback!

_Like a boss._

**Chapter 35: A Tactician**

All right. Let's take stock of the situation again.

Three human beings, one male, two female. All in young adulthood or late adolescence, all Pokémon trainers.

Nine Pokémon: Cyndaquil, Squirtle, Treecko, Meditite, Skarmory, Totodile, Gallade, Gardevoir, Xatu. An inordinate amount of Psychic types, working on the assumption that these are just random trainers travelling together. Not strange enough to merit suspicion on its own, however.

The Skarmory appears to be working through some sort of mental rehabilitation… the boy Axel mentioned something about 'not killing people before you can fly'. A former Pokémon of Death? That would make a very altruistic explanation for the odd, Pokémon-theft gauntlet in the boy's knapsack.

But nothing's for certain. If I had any other options at all, I'd never have dreamt of allowing random passersby to know the location of our camp. But I've been made very desperate, and my gut feeling that the boy is trustworthy is all I have to go by.

The Totodile gives me pause. She seems… preoccupied. More so than the Treecko, even. Her eyes dart back and forth in such a manner it's almost as if she's speaking with someone.

Possibly another Pokémon in need of mental rehabilitation. Is that this group's purpose? Not likely; they don't seem like trained professionals. And the badges pinned on the underside of the boy's jacket suggest he's on a Pokémon league venture.

To my understanding, however, he should be halfway through Ginli by now if he intends to make this year's finals in time. There exists a possibility, then, that it's simply part of an in-depth cover… though not necessarily directed at us.

The violet-haired one's departure is worrisome. While the boy's concern and insistence on sending his Cyndaquil with her suggests she really is just going to the authorities, the possibility of a ruse still exists. I'll need to send someone to watch after her. Sitch will do. He's quiet and intelligent enough.

Assuming that these people _are_ trustworthy, which is unfortunately the assumption I'm forced to work with, the next concern is how this bolsters our forces.

I'm almost thankful the Cyndaquil is gone; it's hyperactivity could prove too much of a risk. The Meditite seems too lackadaisical to be of use in an actual war; one-on-one fighting is probably the only thing it's suited for.

That Treecko, on the other hand, can fight groups. The way it holds itself, the way it's constantly aware of its surroundings… it's had experience. That's at least one additional blade.

The Squirtle seems aware of its surroundings too… almost more than it's aware of its own actions. The way it ricochets from tree to tree is reminiscent of acrobatic performance…

A showman. But one that's overcome a good deal of hardship. There's a certain world-weariness to its gaze, regardless of the fact that it seems to be three, four years old at most.

He's a possibility. Two more in addition to our four, that makes six. But one to guard each direction, two as a reserve, and myself makes seven. I _need _that seventh, or we don't stand a chance.

The Totodile is out of the question. The Skarmory as well, for similar reasons. The Gallade appears… emotional. Impulsive. While that in itself is not a deal-breaker, it is almost in incredible denial about both of these things; constantly sputtering and sticking out its chest, making itself out to be a 'gentleman'. If it can fight, though, I may have to take it.

Though I wonder… could the boy himself serve as a seventh? Or perhaps the girl… there's a fighter's spirit in there. An aura of ferocity that would make me think twice before charging. Plus, human males are always hesitant to harm females. Unless the demographics of the hunters has changed drastically since last time, we should be dealing with an almost, if not entirely male group.

There were around forty of them last time, and of course we let them all live. To kill one would be to authorize the use of external aid. Even still, now that they've had time to gather reinforcements, their numbers may be as high as… fifty? Sixty? Not more than one hundred; too big a group would draw too much attention. Then again, since the location of this herd is unknown outside a certain circle of people, that might not be a concern for them.

This is bad. Even _if_ our bolstered forces are enough to drive them away again this time, they'll keep coming back with more. Isn't there a way to stop them from coming in the first place? At least the Rangers will be notified of our position now. That may help, provided, of course, that the violet-haired one is going where she claims to be going.

Thinking that, I called Sitch over to me as soon as I reentered the cave. I whispered instructions to find and observe the girl, and he nodded, darting away into the night.

"Still don't entirely trust us, huh?" The Squirtle chuckled, drawing my attention with a tap on my leg.

I looked down, mildly impressed that it had overheard. "You're quite the observant one, aren't you?"

"Rule number five of the Entertainer's Code: always keep an eye on your audience," he smiled, giving a short a bow. "The Magnificent Shelligan, at your service."

"I appreciate that," I responded. "We could use a good lookout. All of us are working on four-hour sleep shifts."

"Take a whole night, then," it replied. "I can certainly go a day or five without sleep. Rule two, after all."

I grunted in approval, walking past it to the fire. I greeted a few of the Sawsbuck who had started to protest at the presence of humans, explaining the situation.

"Trainers aren't much better than hunters," their alpha male, Buxton (I would not lie about that) commented. "They might not _kill_ us, but who's to say that after the hunters are gone they won't be back with Pokéballs, catching and scattering us?"

"I don't think you realize how desperate we are for back-up," I told him sternly. "Or is Death a preferable fate?"

"I… no, of course not," Buxton replied, pawing at the ground. He may be prone to tempers, but he's also quick to realize the truth of a situation. Not bad qualities for a leader, overall.

"Where's Inigo?" the boy, Axel asked, looking around the cave in concern.

"Out getting firewood," the Meditite translated for me. "I sent one of our men, Hachi, out to keep him company, so he should be fine."

"Wanted to keep an eye on him, huh?" the boy laughed. "Well, I can't blame you. But let's get down to business, what's your strategy so far?"

I parted the herd of Sawsbuck, leading the boy and his companions back to a section of cave where we'd scratched out our plans. "Since moving to this new location, we've attempted to keep a balance of camouflage and fortifications, with lookouts traveling around the edges to report on any possible assaults."

"Like that Dwebble, right?" the girl, Amber asked. "Where is he? I wanted to take a look at his wounds."

"He should be resting by the fire," I pointed. "But I doubt he'll let you heal him. He's still young, stubborn, aching to prove himself. You know the type." The last part I directed more at the Meditite than the girl.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Axel chuckled. "Amber's quite the stubborn one herself. She's not going to take no for an answer."

"You always have such an… _elegant_ way of describing me, Axel," the girl flinched, heading over to the fire. A loud cry from Dwebble, followed by a loud command from Amber, signaled to me that, perhaps, the Pokémon would finally be in proper bandages by the end of the day.

"Yeah…" Axel said, almost apologetically. "Anyway, this was pretty sound, when you only had four people working defense. But we've got more soldiers now, so it could do with some adjusting."

"At the same time, the Hunters will come back in larger numbers," I countered. "We were able to hold off the forty from last time, but only barely."

"But they won't increase their numbers by _that_ much," Axel reasoned. "We've more than doubled your supply of fighters, and at _most_ they'll have double the hunters. Either way, I'm sure we'll be _more_ than capable of fending them off, especially when Vanna gets back."

"So you'd favor a more offensive strategy?" I asked.

"I'd favor changing where the balance lies, at the very least," he replied.

"Ah…" I said, making adjustments. "The main road is to the north, so they'll likely strike there…" I thought it over for a minute. "So you're saying we should forego the camouflage, and shore up the defenses to the East, West, and South?"

"That's what I was thinking, yeah," the boy nodded. "Of course, I'm probably a little overconfident in the abilities of my team. They've never let me down before, though."

"Sorry…" the 'Magnificent Shelligan' interrupted, "but doesn't this strategy leave the way to the north completely open?"

"Of course," the boy shrugged. "The best forts have gaps, Shelligan."

The Squirtle was taken aback, but I simply nodded. The boy was absolutely right, of course. I was actually a bit impressed. "You can't win a war if you only defend," I explained to the Squirtle. "You have to funnel your enemy into one place so that you can attack. Putting that funnel near the main road makes them all the more likely to use it."

"It also makes them more likely to see through the ruse," Shelligan commented. "I take it that these hunters aren't stupid, otherwise they wouldn't be giving your men so much trouble." He hummed to himself. "If it were me, I'd place the gap either to the West or the East. Putting it to the North makes it very obvious we _want_ them to use the gap, whereas putting it to the South makes it very obvious that we're trying to not be obvious about wanting them to use the gap."

"Shelly… please," Medici complained. "That was an absolute _pain_ to translate, man. Brevity! _It's a thing._ And it's the essence of something or another."

"I agree with the double-blind aspect of that strategy," I commented, ignoring the Meditite's whines. "But I still favor the South. Not only is it the farthest from the road, but there's also a small lake in that direction that will hamper their movement." I smiled. "We can make it look like we've run out of wood to build walls, and are taking advantage of the natural cover… while actually taking advantage of the natural cover."

"That's almost a _triple_-blind strategy!" The Squirtle exclaimed. "I endorse it whole-heartedly! But who's going to cut down all those trees?"

I whistled, calling one of the Pidgeys that had agreed to help us. "I'll send a message off to Hachi. He actually enjoys this sort of thing, and I'm sure your Treecko won't mind lending a hand."

"Not at all," the boy answered without hesitation. "Gallant!" He called out. "Inigo's going to be cutting down a bunch of trees tonight! Figured you wouldn't want to be left out."

"Well, I _will_ have to make certain that no terrible incidents occur like the _previous_ time such a thing happened," the Gallade nodded. "I'll most gladly lend a hand. Lead the way, Ms. messenger bird."

I think the Pidgey rolled its eyes, but I couldn't be sure. It began to fly away, but suddenly, Sitch was barreling back into the cave.

"Don't go out yet," the Timburr instructed the Pidgey. "While I was looking for the girl, I saw a Hunter making his way through the woods."

A hush fell over the herd. "Were you seen?" I asked hurriedly.

"No," Sitch assured me. "But he seemed to be doing a thorough search of the area. He can't be more than half a mile from our location."

"Damn…" I swore, beginning to pace. "If he continues to head this way, he'll find us out of dumb luck. And if one of us goes out to drive him off, it's practically _giving_ them our position."

"How fast can we relocate?" the Squirtle asked immediately.

"Not fast enough," I answered simply. "Even if we started moving right now, he'd find us as we were leaving; plus Inigo and Hachi would be left stranded out there."

"I'll go," the boy offered.

I was caught off guard. "What do you mean, you'll go?" I asked, words coming out as a gut reaction.

"Well, I mean, they won't be expecting a _human_ to be trying to lead them astray, right?" He reasoned. "If I send him off course, there's no reason for him to suspect that he was getting close to this place, right?"

"That… is true," I responded. "But…"

"_NO,"_ came the girl's voice. She stomped over to Axel, grabbing him by the neck of his shirt. "No, no _no. _I have _had_ it!"

"With… what?" The boy asked, confused.

"This… _martyrdom_ complex you seem to have," Amber yelled, gripping him tighter. "First Deathwing, then the Team Musket Base, now this… you know, Axel, sometimes I think you _want_ to get yourself killed!" She slapped him, and despite her best efforts, a tear rolled down her cheek. "What is _with _you? Why are you so set on thrusting yourself into danger for people?"

"You _know_ why," he replied, sterner than I thought him capable of.

Her eyes, which had been locked on his, quickly looked away, and she let go. "Axel…" she said softly. "You realize… everyone's forgiven you but you, right?"

"Well, call me self-centered, but I kind of think my opinion's the most important here, you know?"

Silence. With a sigh, she looked back at him. She put up a hand as if to slap him, but instead rested it on the boy's cheek. "Just… be careful, ok?" She ordered. "I love you, Axel." She smiled. "I know I… haven't said that in a while, but it's as true as it ever was."

He took her hand off his face, kissing it gently. "And I care about you more than anything," he answered. "Which is why I'll come back. Like I _always_ do. Ok?"

She said nothing, but nodded.

"Ok," he said softly, hoisting his backpack off the floor. "Which way did you say it was?" He asked Sitch. Sitch pointed, and he nodded in gratitude, setting off towards the Hunter.

"Out of curiosity…" I asked the girl. "What exactly _is_ the reason?"

"_Private,_" the girl responded, and despite his best efforts, the Meditite could not quite capture the underlying rage within the girl's voice.

"You just going to let him go off by himself, Master Iamb?" Sitch asked.

"Of course not," I replied. "He still can't fully be trusted, now can he?" I turned to Dwebble, who I was delighted to see wrapped in gauze. "Keep an eye on the base, Dwebble. Sitch, find the violet-haired girl. Unless circumstance prevents us, we meet back here in no more than twenty-four hours, understood?"

They both nodded. Satisfied, I followed Sitch out the entrance of the cave, and we went our separate ways.

Now to see if the boy is truly on our side.

**Inigo**

"Everything? From the beginning?"

"The beginning's always a good place to begin, yeah," the Heracross smiled.

Very well.

The beginning of my life is a blur. I was born into darkness, and kept in darkness, except for the few regular times when the harsh light was turned on. Something would take me out of my… container, I suppose, and something else would poke and prod me with needles, scalpels, whatever was necessary.

I do not know why I was there, or even what they were doing. In fact, as far as I knew… this was all there was to life. It was not terribly uncomfortable, despite how intrusive it could be at times.

Then, the explosion, and the screams, and the breaking glass. The harsh lights came on and did not go off, and I found myself suddenly knocked to the floor, surrounded by so many stimuli it was unbearable. Holding my ears, I stumbled blindly through the mess of flashing lights and shuffling bodies, trying to find any spot of comfort I could.

There were shadows outside. Bits of darkness to replace the shade that I'd lost. I lurched towards them, and towards the large, rocky spires creating them. There was so much that was new: colors, shapes, _scents_. I had never used my sense of smell before, and the sheer newness of it was enough to render me incapable of walking for minutes. When I finally had the wherewithal to turn around and see where I had come from, I saw a burning building, with people running in and out from all directions. It was the last place I wanted to be, so I ran through the spires, darting from shadow to shadow to keep myself from being too overwhelmed.

Night soon fell, and my body began to feel ways that it had not before. My stomach ached, my throat yelled out for… something. What were these sensations? I had never had them before. Something; some hardwired instinct of nature told me to dunk my head into a nearby pond and drink. I did, and my body immediately screamed with delight. I drank deeply, without stopping; unaware of anything but the sudden soothing feeling this miraculous substance was giving me.

I saw myself for the first time. Somehow, I had always pictured myself as white… I would never have guessed my skin and tail were such deep, verdant shades. When I was not gulping down water, I sat transfixed by my true form.

I did not notice the Arcanine bearing down on me, defending its territory, until it was within Biting distance. With a loud snarl, I saw what I could only think to be a hideous monster bearing down on me, intent on throwing me around like a rag doll.

I have been told that Treeckoes cannot learn Leaf Blade; that one must evolve into at least a Grovyle before it is even physically possible. But extending my twin blades and slashing out to defend myself was my first and only instinct: I cut the beast down without even thinking about it. A human soon followed, returning the monster into a red and white sphere, and looked at me.

He was an older man, and was dressed in clothes that, as I later found out, should have struck me as odd. It was a kimono, the pitch-black color matching the few bits of his hair that still had color. He surveyed me, and for a moment I thought I would be punished for my actions. Instead, he invited me into his home. I did not understand why, but I was in no position to refuse.

His name was Kiyomori Miyagi, and he was, without question, the wisest man I ever knew. He was an author who wrote samurai novels, and through his research and, as some would say, obsession, he had become a master of the sword himself.

He never explicitly told me that he had an interest in training me. He never made any moves to capture me, to direct my actions, even to keep me on his property (a small, wooden shack beside a mighty cliff, overlooking a floating city). I knew enough, however, to realize that this man could, at the very least, help me control this strange, new thing I had found myself capable of doing, and so I stayed. That and, my survival skills being non-existent, I could not trust myself to forage for food.

I spent some of the most content moments of my life in that shack, learning the sword, wrestling with Arcanine and other Pokémon four, five times my size (as well as Master Kiyomori's son, Escher), and reading Master's books, as well as tomes of military philosophy. It never struck me as odd that I could read (both English _and_ Japanese!), I just… could. I assumed all Pokémon could do so.

When I had been there for eighteen months, a change began to come over Master Kiyomori. He became… more alert, more careful. I sensed it too; there was a darkness approaching, a sinister intent of great power. That fateful night, Kiyomori sent his wife and son away, released his Pokémon and told them to run if they wished.

They all did, except for Arcanine and I. I owed Master Kiyomori far too much to abandon him, and Arcanine… that bastard was loyal to a fault. I shudder even thinking about what he must be doing now.

Then, both like a marching band and like a thief in the night, Death came. Not only her Pokémon, but also he, personally, came. I fought as hard as I possibly could, but that infernal Slugma of hers shirked off my cuts, and Arcanine… Arcanine could not even keep up with his opponent. He was beaten into a pulp within seconds and Master Kiyomori… the same. Nearly every bone in his body broken, and then suspended in midair psychically like a rag doll.

I lay on the ground, a broken man. I had been able to do nothing. _Nothing. _In my rage, in my desperation, in my absolute self-loathing, Death entered my mind, and its _voice…_ its voice overrode every other thought I had. I could not think my own thoughts… eventually, I forgot how. I became as nothing but a puppet, and Death, in sickening joy, sent me off on my first 'mission'.

A group of twelve high school students, recently graduated. They were camping out in the woods, laughing around a roaring bonfire and thinking about what lay in store for them in the future. I watched them from the thick, waiting for one to peel off from the group, and struck, leaving his body in a place where it would surely be found.

After a while, the group split up to look for him. I allowed the girl who found him enough time to let out a scream before shredding her to bits. Another male from the group had been foolish enough to search alone, and I struck him down too, all the while leaving no trace.

Eventually, they began to accuse each other. I slashed their tires, preventing them from leaving, and picked them off one by one, each kill bloodier than the last. When there were only two left, they turned on each other, one finally caving the other's head in with a rock.

He sighed in relief, thinking that, at the very least, he had survived. Then I walked out into plain sight, and stared, giving him time to register what had _really_ happened, and what he had done.

He did not scream. He fell to the ground, sobbing over his friend's body, and simply waited, begging non-vocally for Death.

I… obliged his desire.

The thirteenth target Death sent me after, thank Arceus, was Axel. Qwill, his Cyndaquil, smothered me in searing flames, and Shelligan, his Squirtle, beat me senseless with the blunt end of his shell. He captured me with his BBUTTON, and within a day, I no longer heard _his_ voice. A day after that, I had decided on a new name. I looked for a calendar, and realized I had been in the service of Death for more than a year. Yet another expanse of my life completely lost to me.

"I have… forgiven myself for letting Master Kiyomori die," I explained to Hachi. "I have also forgiven myself for killing those twelve children… I understand that power that Death wields, and how truly ill-suited I was to deal with him."

"Then… what's the problem, man?" Hachi asked, real concern showing in his eyes. "I mean… what have you got to hate yourself over, if you've forgiven yourself for all that?"

I sighed, shaking slightly. "I said earlier that Death turned me into a puppet, yes?" I began. "Well… that was no completely true. Puppets lack emotions." I swallowed, but my throat had gone dry. "When I was tormenting those people, when I was picking them off one by one and watching them panic…"

I smashed a fist into the ground. "I _enjoyed it_, Hachi. Death never told me to take pleasure in what I was doing, simply to do it… but I…I enjoyed every moment of hunting them. It was a game to me, and while I was playing it… I had to fight from laughing in sheer delight."

I had begun to convulse, and I breathed deeply, calming myself. "I am… a monster, Hachi." I concluded. "A monster that can behave itself… but a monster, nonetheless. And I cannot, _will not_ ever forgive myself for that."

He was silent for a minute, his meditation, combined with his cross-legged stance, almost made him appear as a monk. "You say you can't forgive yourself… for being a monster?"

I nodded.

"Inigo," he chuckled. "I don't think you quite understand… we're all monsters on the inside." He shrugged. "I don't know if you've ever watched any TV, but look at the shows that humans watch. Serial Killers as protagonists, crime shows where one or more people are murdered in horrific ways every week… hell, don't even bother with TV, there are entire book series devoted to killing people in horrible ways."

He leaned over, and to my surprise I let him pat me on the back. "The fact is, we've been born into a world where some of our greatest moments of pleasure come from watching others suffer. Schadenfreude, and all that. If we use your reasoning, then while we're not the ones personally pulling the trigger, or whatever the day's murder method may be, we're _all_ monsters."

He smiled. "And maybe we are, right? The question then, as Nietzsche said, is "Is it better to out-monster the monster or be quietly devoured?" He shrugged again, a vain attempt to undercut the sagacity of his words. "In a world where we've got people like Death running around, it's pretty relevant, eh?"

"So I should just accept that I'm a monster," I stated.

"Not just accept it," Hachi offered. "_Embrace_ it. The good parts, anyway. You are a strong, capable fighter who relishes cutting down his enemies; that in itself isn't a bad thing. But keep in mind that when you committed those acts, you weren't choosing who your enemies were."

"I… had never thought about it like that," I admitted. Concerned, almost unwilling to believe what I was hearing, I asked: "so… am I really, for lack of a better word… normal?"

"Well, no. You're a grass-type, I believe," he laughed.

"I should cut you for that," I threatened jokingly.

"_Try it_. See what happens," he volunteered, moving from his cross-legged pose to a… um… a 'come at me bro' position, I suppose you could call it.

"It's just like you to become sidetracked from your obligations, Inigo," came Gallant's voice, and the Gallade appeared before us, accompanied by a Pidgey. Hachi, becoming serious for a moment, conversed with the bird briefly, and nodded. "All right then, boys, let's get to work. We've got three impenetrable wooden walls to build, and one night to cut down every single tree we'll need. There are no objections, I take it?"

I extended a leaf blade and chopped down a tree with my full strength, sending the disembodied trunk flying a ways. It had been quite a while since I had allowed myself full power, and it felt… liberating. As if a new door had not just been opened for me, but blown off its hinges.

Author's Note

Whoa! Super long update to make up for the super long wait!

Or… something like that. Inigo's story was hard to write, because I wanted to make sure it was perfect. It isn't. But I'm writing a serial type thing here, so I can't keep my readers waiting too long over my own insecurities. It is what it is! I'm pretty sure I touched on all the important parts. And if I didn't… that's what ret-conning is for! Right? … Right?

Ah, whatever. Reader interactions stuff time thing GO!

It's not a question (technically), but Exodin expressed confusion over Dragonette's split personality type stuff! And since I _do_ promise to explain things that won't ruin the plot, sure! I can do this!

I can't say anything for certain as to whether Dragonette is actually suffering from multiple personality disorder or whether it's the same personality thinking different things in rapid succession. It could even be something completely different. I can tell you, though, that the writing style is one hundred percent stream of consciousness: it's what the character's thinking, with no filters whatsoever. Faulkner would be proud. I hate myself.

I've done this a little bit with Qwill, but even he attempts to tell a narrative. Dragonette, having just broken free of Death's… something or other, isn't particularly concerned or even aware of any overarching plot, so her point of view is very self focused.

I can also tell you, from the writing mechanic perspective, that when I was working with Dragonette, there were three main voices I, personally, pictured. A girl, her older brother, and her annoying next-door neighbor.

For easy recognition, the 'older brother' type voice is the one who was attached to the name Deathwing and was the least open to change. The girl was the one who thought Axel seemed nice, and the neighbor is the one they both didn't like. The constant use of the pronoun 'I' was meant to be intentionally confusing! Because, you know I love you guys. So I have to torture you.

I believe I've said in a previous author's note that I wasn't a sadist, though, so I wouldn't worry too much. After all, it's not like I'd ever lie to you.

The sky is purple.

Viva la feminism?


	38. Chapter 36: A Ranger

Disclaimer:

**Audition 4: Fred Flintstone**

Former Occupation: Bronto Crane Operator, Part-time Police Officer

_I YABBA DABBA DON'T OWN POKÉMON!_

Amaxing: Well that one was good, I suppose. Any others?

_BARNEY! NOT MY POKÉMON!_

Amaxing: All right, that was… less good, I suppose. Anything else?

_Ack, Ack, A-Dak. I don't own Pokémon._

Amaxing: I'm sorry, Fred, but I don't think you're quite the fit we're looking for, Fraternal Kinship of the Water Buffalo aside. Sorry.

_Ah, it's fine._

**Chapter 36: A Ranger**

_He stalks through the woods at night, putting evildoers in their place._

_ He protects the forests from fire, and the mountains from the careless treading of ignorant hikers._

_ His hair. Is perfect._

_ By day, he is mild-mannered Daniel German, Pokémon Ranger, but by night, he is…_

_ RANGER DANGER! … Man._

_ What does he do?_

_ His Ranger duties. But much better than plain old Daniel German could._

_ How does he do it?_

_ With the help of his faithful partner and sidekick, Archimedes the Noctowl, of course._

_ Where is he now?_

_ Bound, gagged, and locked inside of a trunk, as it were._

_ It's… a long story. I was alone in the Ranger Station (as I often am, since the area isn't populated enough to merit more than one) when a group of thugs held me at gunpoint, tied Archimedes and I up, and stuffed us into the back of a truck._

_ Not quite as long a story as I'd thought, actually, but it's emotional and historical weight? It'll make it last for DECADES. DECADES, I say!_

_ From what the great Ranger Danger has been able to hear from inside the trunk of this car, these people are poachers, hunting Sawsbuck, so I should be ok. They'll search the woods, they won't find any because we don't have any, and then they'll let me go, presumably with an apology and a 'we really should have asked you first, huh?' All in a day's work for Ranger Danger._

_ So I might not be in a position to arrest them, but oh well. Win some, lose some._

_ Ha ha… ha… I'm dead, aren't I?_

_ Yeah._

_ Holding up there, Archimedes?_

_ I'll take the ruffling feathers and the hoots as a yes._

_ Ranger Danger… could use a hero right about now. Somebody cool, calm, and collected, to smoothly deal with these evildoers and then join forces with me as my sidekick!_

**Qwill**

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!

It's been _super_ long since I've ridden on anybody's shoulders but Axel's and it was a little uncomfortable at first because I'd gotten used to that exact groove between Axel's clavicle and his neck but I got used to it really quickly because Vanna's actually really soft like a big, cuddly, silk-covered pillow and so it was really comfortable!

Gardevoir was out too and she was walking besides us and every now and again she'd turn back and look where we'd come from like she was worried which didn't make any sense because there wasn't anything bad happening but she seems like she worries about a lot and I guess I shouldn't be so quick to judge so I'm sorry Gardevoir because I don't want you to not be my friend because I want to keep being your friend!

I don't know why but Vanna sort of seemed uncomfortable with having me along at first which was weird because we've known each other for a while now and as I just said she's a really comfortable person but once we'd been walking for a little while she seemed to relax and that was good because then she started talking to me!

"I don't know how Axel does it," she said, picking me up and cuddling with me and tickling me in my belly, "I mean, _look _at you! How does he not break out into baby talk every five minutes and hug the life out of you? Who's a cute Cyndaquil? _Who's a cute Cyndaquil?"_ I know that you think I might be making this dialogue up because Vanna doesn't normally talk like that but I swear I'm a reliable narrator and I don't make things up especially when they make me look good because I sometimes always tell the truth!

So she kept talking to me for a while and saying how cute I was and playing with me but then all of a sudden Gardevoir stopped moving and closed her eyes and she started shaking a little and Vanna got worried so she put me down to go look at her and I started getting worried but she turned out to be ok except then there was a loud _BANG_ from somewhere up ahead! So Vanna and Gardevoir and I all hid in some nearby trees and crept forward and then _oh my gosh so many people!_ There were a lot of big men with guns and chainsaws and there were a few really big machines that I didn't even _know_ what they were supposed to do but they looked kind of scary.

Vanna thanked Gardevoir for warning her and bit her lip and sat thinking for a minute and then she told Gardevoir to find some mud and get herself dirty which didn't make sense to me because I'd imagine her dress is really hard to clean because I think at least parts of it might actually be part of her body but I can't really tell because I've never gotten into the sort of situation where I can check and I'm not sure I want to but yeah so Gardevoir went and found some mud and started smearing it over herself.

"Qwill," Vanna asked me, starting to smear some mud on herself too, "can you act _really_ sick, like you have a fever of however many degrees would hurt you?" I nodded my head up and down because Shelligan taught me how to act a little and so I slumped over on the ground and started kicking my right leg at irregular intervals and started whining in a low, moaning sound and panting and when Vanna saw it she went _awwwww_ and picked me up and hugged me and said "damn it, Qwill, how do you _do_ that? Anyone who saw that would get their heart broken in an instant! That's good, considering what we're getting ourselves into." She sighed and said "I really liked this blouse too," which didn't make any sense to me because it was a nice looking blouse and I liked it too and I didn't see any reason why that would change but then she smeared mud on it too and actually ripped it from the collar down a little and poked a few holes on the sides of it with a stick so she looked all ragged and worn but still really cute somehow!

"All right Qwill, listen to me," she said. "Start acting like you're deathly ill, and don't stop until I tell you to, ok?" And so I nodded my head ok because I understood and Vanna smiled at me and put one of her high heel boots in her backpack so she was only wearing one which I didn't think was a good idea because we were outside and she'd probably hurt herself but I didn't worry about it and I started acting sick and then Vanna grabbed me in her arms and started crying and limping towards all the big scary men with guns and machines!

They acted all shocked and mean at first and started yelling that she shouldn't be here and that she should turn around but that was only for a few seconds because they saw Vanna and Gardevoir and me whimpering and crying and Vanna started wailing about how she needed help because I was her first Pokémon and her best friend and she didn't want to see me die and so the big men stopped yelling really quickly and started hustling over to be the first one to help us!

The first one who got over starting comforting Vanna and talking with her to figure out what had happened and Vanna made up a really good story about us being on our way to Highbank to get a badge when I just randomly came down with a fever and throwing in some random details about how I'd scraped my leg on a rock back in Severna which was true because it had happened during my fight with Daddy and she just kept crying and eventually they took her inside the cabin that was nearby and laid me down on a bed and they had somebody who wasn't a doctor but was probably the best with medicine in the group take a look at me.

Vanna just kept crying on his shoulder which I thought was impressive because according to Shelligan fake crying is a _really hard_ skill to master and just blubbering nonsense words about how I was one of the only things she had left and stuff like that and slowly she started pulling back and composing herself and straightening herself up.

Then she acted like she'd just realized that her blouse was ripped down the front and she acted kind of embarrassed and asked if there was a shirt she could borrow and so the man went and got her a shirt from somewhere in the cabin. She started to get up and look around but the man came back before she could find anything and so she sniffled and said thank you and asked him to turn around real quick which didn't seem to really have a point because even though he couldn't see her she was still changing shirts in front of the window and so all the guys out there could see if they were looking which some of them probably were but Vanna's really weird like that sometimes.

So when she was done changing which took longer than I thought it should but I don't wear _any_ clothes so I suppose I really can't say anything about it but anyway when she was done changing she told the guy he could turn around and he started looking at me again and Vanna sat down kind of close to him and sniffled a little and she started asking who all these people were and what they were doing here except she wasn't that direct about it, it was more like: "Wow… there's a whole lot of you here, huh?" and "I've never seen a big machine like that before, what's it do?"

The guy turned red but it wasn't really noticeable because he was pretty red in the face to begin with but I guess it was noticeable because I noticed it and he started talking and he told Vanna about how they were a hunting party and they were in the area looking for Stantler pelts which I'm pretty sure was a lie because we know all about those Sawsbuck and he said that the big machines were for chopping down trees because sometimes animal rights groups build big walls made out of trees to block hunters even though they're allowed to hunt and the walls upset the natural order and I knew that that was a lie too! But I didn't say anything because I was supposed to be acting sick and so I kept acting sick and whenever one of Vanna's questions seemed to make the man a little suspicious I'd whimper really loudly and Vanna would inch a little closer to the two of us and kind of press up against the guy a little.

Even though it was kind of a serious situation because we were in what I guess you could call the 'enemy's camp' if you wanted to and we were stealthily trying to gather information and whatnot it was actually kind of fun! I don't get to act a lot and by a lot I mean I'm pretty sure I don't get to act _ever_ but it really is cool especially when people are buying into it! _Hooray!_

**Iamb**

The boy seems… comfortable, doing what he's doing.

Walking about, making as little noise as possible and surveying the area… it's like he's not even thinking about it. Perhaps he isn't.

I allowed him a good distance, a bit more so than I would normally give, actually, just to make sure I wouldn't be caught following him. He'd no doubt understand _why _I was following him, but he'd still change the way he was acting, and I couldn't have that. The only way to really measure a man is to see what he's like when no one's around.

After we'd gotten a good distance from the camp, the boy straightened up, as if hearing something. I'd heard it too… the gentle cracking of twigs beneath a boot, the subtle shuffling of clothes as a man readjusts the weapon he's carrying. I started to flash back to older, harsher times, but I shook myself out of it. There was too much happening in the present to reflect on the past.

The boy pressed himself up against a tree, looking out into the distance to see where the Hunter was coming from. Then, to my surprise, he turned the other way, walking a few paces backwards. For a minute, I thought he was coming towards _me_, and that my cover was blown, but after no more than a few steps he turned around again… and began to sing.

_"Seventy-five thousand four-hundred and thirty-three green bottles hanging on the wall. Seventy-five thousand four hundred and thirty-three green bottles hanging on the wall, and if ONE GREEN BOTTLE should accidentally fall, they'll be seventy-five thousand four hundred and thirty-two green booottlllllles HANGING ON THE…"  
_"What the _hell_ are you singing?" The Hunter asked, walking up to Axel with annoyance lining his voice. "And what exactly are you _doing_ out here this late at night?"

"I could ask you the same question, man," Axel smiled. "I'm looking to catch some Pokémon… I've always wanted a Swellow and I heard they roost around here. Figured I could sneak up on one."

"Not like _that_ you can't," the Hunter advised. "You have to be quiet, _sneaky_, you know?"

"Yeah… I know," Axel said, shrugging. "But it gets so dang _boring_ out here alone in the middle of nowhere, I have to have _something_ to keep me occupied." His face lit up, and he asked the man: "Oh! Could you remember for me that I was on forty-five thousand seven hundred and eighty-two, please? I'll forget. I'm awful with this sort of thing…"

"You were on seventy-five thousand four hundred and thirty-two," the Hunter corrected with a smile. "I can see what you mean about being forgetful."

"Yeah… thanks for that," the boy smiled broadly. "Axel, by the way. From a little town east of Woodale, Sunfall. Ever heard of it?"

"They've got that big circus there, right?" The Hunter asked.

"Right! Exactly! Man, I used to save my allowance for a _month_ just to get enough cash to go? It was totally worth it, though, those performers and those Luxray tamers and those _clowns_. Ah, I always loved the clowns."

"You actually _like_ clowns?" The Hunter expressed in amazement. "I think you might be the first person I've met like that… most kids are _terrified _of clowns."

"Well, I knew one of them personally, used to call him Mr. Bobo. He'd take me out for ice cream sometimes after the show, since I couldn't ever afford it otherwise. Nice guy."

The boy was lying… I was _sure_ of it. There was an uncertainty present in his voice as he told the Hunter his story… but not much, I'll admit. He was doing an amazing job, casting himself as a trustworthy, sympathetic figure, and the Hunter was buying into it completely.

I had to think, then: had _I_ bought into it so readily?

"But that's enough about me," Axel laughed, as he began to walk with the Hunter away from our camp. I crept forward silently, keeping within earshot. "What about you, man? What are you doing out here so late at night?"

"Birding," the Hunter lied, showing Axel his gun. "I'm looking to catch some Swellow too but… probably for a different reason then you. Got to put food on the table, after all?"

"Can you eat Swellow?" Axel asked, interested.

"Tastes a bit Cornish Hen," the Hunter went on. "Very good cooked on the grill with a nice barbeque rub."

"You don't say…" Axel mused. "You caught any yet? I might be in the mood to try some."

"Nah, they're a skittish breed. Can't barely get off a shot before the entire flock goes all up in a ruckus."

"Could I suggest changing guns?" Axel said, examining the rifle the Hunter was holding. "You're not going to catch any birds with that thing."

The Hunter stopped walking briefly, looking offended. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Well, a good _birding_ rifle is light, maneuverable. Usually double-barreled, too, and it couldn't hurt to have a semi-automatic." The boy looked at the rifle again. "That bolt-action heavy-gauge thing you've got going there's better for _deer_ hunting, you know? You've probably even got _buckshot_ in there and, well, they call it buckshot for a reason," he smiled.

The Hunter made a full stop now, clutching the gun a little closer to his person. "All right, just who exactly are you, kid?" He questioned.

"Axel. From Sunfall. I told you that already, man, try to keep up," he smiled, continuing to walk.

The Hunter lifted his gun, and I fought the urge to dart forward and take him down. I couldn't reveal myself into I was absolutely certain of what was happening, could I? "And just _what_ exactly do you do, again?"

Axel turned around slowly, raising his hands over his head. "I told you, I'm a Pokémon Trainer. I'm looking for Swellow."

"And what's a Pokémon Trainer like you doing knowing so much about guns and what not, huh?" The Hunter accused. This logic didn't entirely make sense to me, but it seemed enough reason for the Hunter to act suspicious.

"I… went to military school?" Axel offered.

"I don't believe that for a second," he said, drawing back the safety on the gun. "Where you _really_ from, huh? You police? Ranger? Some sort of activist?"

"Nothing of the kind," Axel said, acting scared. "I really am just a Pokémon Trainer, see look…" he slowly grabbed his jacket and opened it, revealing two Gym Badges fastened to the inner lining.

"Hm…" the Hunter thought, still not lowering his gun. "All right, here's what we're going to do. I don't trust you, still, so I'm going to take you to some friends of mine and they'll… see if they can get anything else out of you, ok?" He walked towards Axel, nudging him with the rifle. "Get moving."

Axel breathed out slowly, gradually lowering his hands to his sides as he walked forwards. When they were level with the barrel of the gun, he ducked quickly, grasping the rifle with one hand as he twisted the man's wrist with the other. In a matter of seconds, the gun was in Axel's hands… and then he emptied it and broke it on a tree.

I didn't quite understand that, but at least it wasn't going to go off any time soon. The man, recoiling from the shock of what had happened, charged Axel blindly. Axel stepped aside, grasped the man's wrist again and, with a well placed shove on the back, sent him tumbling to the ground… roughed up, but fairly unharmed.

"All right…" Axel said with a sigh. "I didn't want to have to do this, but… here's the situation we find ourselves in," he explained as the Hunter slowly stood back to his feet. "You're going to need to come with _me_ to see some of _my_ friends, and we'll see what we can get out of _you_. Now, I don't want to hurt you so… I mean, if you could just come quietly, that'd be great. Heck, we could even pick up on sixty thousand five hundred and eighty-one where I left off, if you'd like…"

"Don't think for a second you're in control here, slick," the Hunter said, drawing a large buck knife from a waist pocket. "You either come with me now, or things are going to get ugly."

"Does it have to come to this?" Axel asked. "I mean, why is this so life-or-death important to you?"

"Like I said," the Hunter answered. "Got to put food on the table." He raised the knife. "Are you coming with me or not?"

Axel shook his head. "Nope. I got to take you in. Going with you would make that a heck of a lot more difficult."

"Fine," the Hunter said, rushing Axel with the knife. Unblinkingly, Axel grasped the man's wrist when he was no more than a foot away from him, and used the man's own force to flip him head over heels. The Hunter, now face-first on the ground, could do nothing but struggle futilely as Axel pinned the knife-wielding hand behind its owner's back and tore the weapon away.

It was Aikido, no doubt about it. Morihei Ueshiba, founder of the art, once said that a practitioner must be willing to receive ninety-nine percent of an opponent's attack and stare Death in the face in order to execute techniques without hesitation, and from the looks of it, Axel had taken those words to heart.

"You see, this is what I _didn't_ want to do," Axel told the Hunter as he struggled. "There's nothing you can to break out of here… you're basically a Croconaw with its mouth tied shut. Now, you'll notice, if I take your arm and bend it a little _this_ way…" He made a motion, and the Hunter stifled a scream. "You see _that's_ what I'm going to have to do if you don't agree to come with me. If I push hard enough, your arm is going to snap, I don't care how strong you think you are, and I… don't _want_ to do that. It's very messy. So I'm told."

The boy let go of the Hunter's arm, but did not remove his knee from his back. "Now… are you going to come answer some questions for me, or keep charging me like a drunken rhino?"

The Hunter swore under his breath, but eventually said, "Fine, you win. I'll come with you."

"You see how easy this is?" Axel laughed, helping the Hunter to his feet and pinning one of his arms behind his back. "Now let's go. We shouldn't be too far, you have _no idea_ how close you were getting."

The Hunter swore again, struggling to try and hit Axel, but could do nothing. With a feeling of satisfaction, I darted away, back towards the camp. Everything was handled here.

Author's Note:

Sometimes, as a writer, you need to sit down and iron out the nitty-gritty details.

You've read this far, so you've probably seen that my attention to detail is… lax, at best. My strong suits, at least, I _think_ my strong suits have always been dialogue, plot coherency, and a veritable arsenal of Chekov's guns. I could be wrong, though.

Anyway, I figured that since I've finally got some things nailed down for good, I'd do those brief little… character file things. You'll know it when you see it.

Name: Axel Rosebud Jackson

Age: 19

Birthday: December 13th

Western Zodiac: Sagittarius

Eastern Zodiac: Dragon

Blood Type: AB -

Name: Amber Marie Gold

Age: 18

Birthday: May 2nd

Western Zodiac: Taurus

Eastern Zodiac: Snake

Blood Type: A –

Name: Vanna Persephone Albright

Age: 17

Birthday: February 14th

Western Zodiac: Capricorn

Eastern Zodiac: Horse

Blood Type: B +

The current month is November.

In the Shengxiao (Eastern Zodiac), the current year is the year of the Pig.

ALSO: for those of you are wondering how I could just… randomly spring Axel being kind of kickass out of nowhere. _I didn't. MWAHAHAHAHA._ We've all known he can do this stuff since chapter one, remember? It's one of the first things Medici ever says:

_Let me see… a little more about myself… uh… when I'm not meditating (which is all the time) I enjoy playing my triple-neck guitar (thanks to my psychic prowess, I can play on all three necks at the same time), doing aikido with my trainer (I hold back), and taking long walks on top of the cliffs of Cliffkiln while pondering classic Existential questions. Who am I? What's my purpose? Why am I the way I am?_

Yeah. That was a thing. That was established. That Axel could do aikido kind of on par with Medici, I mean. Hooray for Chekov's guns! Although, I suppose that's really just foreshadowing. Or just… straight up telling you something. I'm not sure… ah well.

Viva la feminism?


	39. Chapter 37: Afraid to Live

Disclaimer:

**Audition 5: Godot**

Former Occupation: Fictional Prosecutor, Coffee Drinker

Max: So… Mr. Godot, is it? Are you ready to give a disclaimer?

Godot: …_Ha! What a stupid question._

Ex…excuse me?

_Let me ask YOU a question, Mr. English… are YOU ready? To pass judgment?_

Um… well, you haven't given your disclaimer yet, so… no.

_Well then… you shouldn't expect someone to be ready… unless you're ready yourself!_

That's… that's a good point, actually. Whenever you want then, go ahead.

_No matter the man… we all wear masks. Either on our faces, or over our hearts… or over the fact that we don't own Pokémon._

Please, _please_ give me another one, just so I know all of your one-liners are that freaking amazing.

_The true measure of a man is in the amount of work he does, regardless of whether he owns his company or not. Keep that in mind, dear readers._

… You are so coming back.

_Much obliged, Mr. English._

**Chapter 37: Afraid to Live**

**Toto**

_Oy vey._ And I thought _Inigo_ was a bad patient.

I'm not saying he wasn't, because he totally was. One, he didn't listen to Amber when it comes to his treatment (and if Amber actually does know anything, it's medicine), so that's stupid enough. But it's _friggin' common sense_ not to try and walk or do too much physically taxing work with _two broken legs!_ The lengths that brainwashed servants will go for their masters, I suppose.

But this _Dwebble._ I don't get him. For starters, all he speaks is gobbledy-gook, so I can't even _ask_ him what his deal is. Then there's the fact that he's actively trying to remove his bandages and scurry away to do others things while nursing a shotgun wound the size of, oh I don't know, _his entire body._ Thorax, I suppose, if I wanted to be more precise, but _who cares?_

Amber actually told me to watch him while she went and tended to the herd (_apparently_ no one around here knows how to properly treat a wound) and it's, like, _impossible._ He sits perfectly still as long as I'm looking directly at him, but as soon as I rest my eyes a little, or turn away to talk to the soothing voice, _BOOM. Gone._ And then I have to help Amber go look for where it's run off to which is just a _pain._

_ Isn't this demeaning work for a Pokémon such as yourself?_ The voice asked, as I followed behind Amber while we searched the nearby woods (it had actually _gone outside! _The _nerve_ of some Pokémon!)

"At least we're trying to help other Pokémon for a change, instead of helping more stupid, useless humans," I reasoned. "I don't mind as much as I could."

_You still mind, though? Even when helping a fellow Pokémon?_

"I don't mind _that_ part at all," I explained. "What I _mind_ is following the orders of… you know, one of _them._"

_There's a fix for that. A _permanent _one._

I stopped dead in my tracks, but quickly continued following Amber, ensuring she wouldn't notice. I looked over her, at the girl that had risen me since I was one, who I'd watched grow into the ignorant _human_ she was today, despite my best efforts.

… Could I really?

_Of course you __**could**_,the voice came. _Your species has quite the powerful jaw… and you __**are**__ all alone. One simple Crunch and…_

I stopped again, lost in self-conflict. I knew killing was wrong, I knew that it one of those things that you never really get forgiven for, but at the same time… was it really so bad?

Amber noticed my hesitation this time, and turned around immediately. "What's wrong, Totodile?" She asked, bending down, leaning ever so closer to me. "_You_ didn't hurt yourself too, did you?" I felt my mouth unhinge, just a little.

_Do it._ Urged the voice.

"Yo! Amber!" The call shook me from my thoughts, and I whirled around quickly to see Axel, parading a hunter back towards the camp. "I caught one!" He and the man stopped in front of us, and Axel (and, by necessity, the hunter) gave a short bow in greeting. "He's going to help us figure out what we're up against."

"Says you," the hunter blurted out. Really, dude? That's the best you could come up with? I know _Slowpokes_ with a sharper wit than that.

"Yup, says me." Axel came back… equally well. "Anywho, what are you guys doing out here, anyway?"

"That Dwebble ran off _again_," Amber whined. "I've told it no less than ten times to sit still and let its wounds heal, but it keeps getting up!"

"Oh, is it not supposed to be doing that?" Axel asked. "Sorry, I saw it over by the road gathering flowers. I figured it was harmless enough, so I just left it. Actually, I'll just…" he jogged briskly towards the road, obliviously dragging the hunter along with him. "Dwebble! Oh Mr. Dwebble! You've got to go back to base now, Doctor Amber's orders!"

"Dwebble…" the hunter mused, eyes suddenly widening to the size of dinner plates. "Wait, you mean that was that _psychopath_ that we saw gathering flowers back there?"

"Psychopath?" Amber asked. "What do you mean?"

"That thing is _crazy!_" The hunter yelled, no doubt overreacting a little. "The moment it sees _any_ of us do _anything_, it smashes its shell to pieces and comes right at us. Like we killed its mother or something."

"_Did_ you?" Amber asked accusingly.

"I'm a _hunter_, not a murderer," the man spat defensively. "I'm only trying to make a living, I don't go around killing Pokémon because I feel like it."

"Well, don't worry," Axel assured the man. "You might be terrified of that Dwebble, but that Dwebble ought to be equally terrified of Amber by now, so we should make it back without too much of a ruckus."

Axel was right, of course. When the Dwebble emerged, flowers clutched in its pincers, it immediately tensed up, ready to pounce and tear the life out of the hunter. Amber, however, swatted it away almost as soon as smashed its shell on the ground and tried to jump, and picked the thing up and carried it back to the cave, despite all its squirming and protests.

The hunter, also despite all his squirming and protests, was led back to the cave as well. The uppity Scizor was surprisingly understanding, considering all the perfectly justifiable suspicion he'd had of us for this whole time. After Axel explained what had happened, he plopped the guy down in front of… Medici. Oh, Arceus, here we go.

"All right guy, we can do this easy way or the hard way," Medici began, spitting out the tired, clichéd dialogue as if he'd invented it himself. "You can answer my questions when I ask them, or I can reach into your mind and pull the information I want out by _sheer psychic force_." He floated up to the guy's eye level, giving him a condescending pat on the back. "And just to warn you, only one method _doesn't_ leave permanent brain damage. Guess which."

"I ain't talking," the hunter spat.

"I'll be the one who decides that," Medici said cockily, prancing about in mid-air like he was the world's most _special_ child. "First thing's first, what's your name?"

"I _ain't talking,"_ the hunter repeated.

"Patrick Buster, eh? Interesting." From the man's shocked reaction, I knew that Medici had hit it right on the money. Which was good, because we wouldn't want his _self-esteem_ to take a dive, now _would_ we? "And your middle name is… William, cool. Patrick William Buster, good strong name. Your parents had some sense."

"How are you…" the man sputtered.

"Now, now, don't fight it," Medici interrupted. "We all know that Fighting is weak against Psychics after all. Best thing you could do is try and empty your mind, it'll make this _just_ a little more challenging then it is now."

I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach. I turned away, immediately noticing that, yet _again_, that stupid Dwebble had decided to crawl off somewhere. Amber noticed too, and was about to ask me to help search for it again, but Axel interrupted.

"I'll go look for it," he offered. "You stay here and look after the herd… and Medici." He cast a glance over at the bloated Pokémon, now gleefully extracting the number of hunters from poor, idiotic Patrick Buster's brain. "Just make sure he doesn't get too carried away, ok? I'd hate to have that guy's intelligence on my conscience."

"Will do," Amber nodded, heading over to the Sawsbuck to check up on one of their younger members. Axel poked around the cave for a bit and, satisfied that the Dwebble wasn't inside, headed back out to look for it. Not wanting to stay and listen to Medici toy with Buster anymore, I tagged along, accepting Axel's offer to carry me on his shoulder.

"How've you been lately, Toto?" Axel asked as we started up a perimeter around the cave. "You've seemed a bit… off. Could just be me." He shrugged, which, surprisingly enough, didn't shift me around all that much. "It probably is. I guess I worry too much."

I nodded, letting out short, affirmative sounding growls. I _have_ been doing great, Axel, thanks for asking! The soothing voice that talks to me always makes me feel so much better when I'm angry or scared. It's almost enough to make all these stupid humans' antics bearable! _Almost._

Of course, I don't mean _you_, Axel. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a Pokémon! I've heard stories of people turning into Pokémon… I wonder, could they be true? You'd make a good Bulbasaur… if only.

We'd circled round the camp maybe four times, making wider passes each time, when Axel finally bent down (which, again, didn't shift me as much I'd thought it would) and looked at the ground. "Dwebble tracks," he noted. "Or… maybe deer tracks. I'm not sure. But there's tracks here, so I'm going to follow them, sound good, Toto?"

It sounds stupid, but I'm too happy you asked my opinion to care. And would you look at that? It looks like we went the right way after all.

Because the tracks led us to a clearing, where there were several mounds in the ground, marked with a few jagged rocks. Dwebble was there, placing the flowers it had gathered from the roadside on one of the mounds. From the plethora of flowers that were _already_ on the grave, I could tell he did this often.

"Hey…" Axel called to it, not daring to step any closer. "Is it all right if I come in? We're worried about you back at base."

The Dwebble turned around, eying Axel with suspicion before waving us in with one of its torn-up claws. Axel stepped carefully through the graveyard, eventually finding a seat nearby Dwebble, in front of the flower-covered monument.

"Friend of yours?" He asked. The Dwebble nodded. "Killed by hunters?" Another nod. "These hunters we're fighting, or…" This time it shook its head. "Right. But they're similar enough, huh?" Another nod.

Humans making a Pokémon's like miserable. Why am I not surprised?

"Well, I'm sure that he…"

"DWEB!"

"_She_, sorry, I'm sure that she's happy you're still thinking about her."

The Dwebble said nothing (not that it could), and stared at the grave. It looked at Axel, almost as if expecting him to pick him up and drag him back to base again, but Axel just sat there. Curious, I looked at his face, and noticed that it was scrunched up, as if deep in… oh, Arceus. He's _thinking_. This ought to be good.

Best of luck though, Axel.

"I kind of… really envy those people who can 'communicate wordlessly with Pokémon' and whatnot, you know? I remember reading that back in the Ransei period they called those people Warriors… nowadays they've got some fancy, scientific name for it, 'Twice-Touched' or some other nonsense…" He paused. "Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people, so I've got to use words… which kind of sucks, because I'm not very good with them." He looked at the Dwebble, frowning. "So bear with me, ok? I'll _try_ to make this as painless as possible. I just might not succeed, is what I'm saying."

The Dwebble seemed apathetic either way, perfectly content to listen to Axel ramble on as long as he didn't try to move him from in front of the grave.

Axel took a deep breath, leaning back on his hands and staring at the grave for a little while. "I don't believe in a lot," he started, an odd start in my _humble_ opinion. "It's not really my thing. Amber got me to go to synagogue once or twice, but I didn't get much out of it. I don't know. I don't have a _problem_ with it, but…" he sighed. "Anyway, one thing I _do_ believe, because it's a proven fact, is that… we all die. Eventually. And, because of that, we shouldn't be _afraid_ of dying… not that there's anything _wrong_ with being afraid of Death, especially if it's of another person, but… well…"

He sighed, letting out a growl of frustration as he fumbled for words. It was almost kind of painful, watching Axel try and get a point across. Come on, Axel, I'm _sure_ I've seen you more articulate than this!

"The thing is," Axel continued. "You've got the not being afraid of Death thing down. _Boy do you ever._ With the way you threw yourself at that hunter and all the wounds all over your body and your _complete_ refusal to let them heal… yeah. Makes my point for me, kind of." The Dwebble grunted, almost as if thanking Axel, but I couldn't tell you for sure because, again. _Gobbledy-gook._

"What bothers me about it, though… and, I mean I've only known you for a few hours so take this or leave it, but… I can't help but think that, if _she_ were looking down on you right now, she'd be sad with how you were living."

The Dwebble started snapping angrily at this, affirming for the first time, for me at least, that it actually understood the English language.

"I mean…" Axel continued. "Here you are, alive and well, and you're doing everything you can to get yourself killed. Do you think she would _want_ that for you? I mean… if she cares about you, and I sure _hope_ she does, with all the attention you're paying her grave… then she's got to be hoping that she doesn't see you again for as long as possible, right?"

The Dwebble calmed down, staring back at the grave with a little whimper.

"Life… is ok, you know? I mean, it's not _great_, but it's a free gift. And there aren't many sins greater than throwing away a free gift. At least… that's what I think."

We stared at the grave a little longer, as a sudden gust whipped through the forest, showering the area with orange, red, and brown leaves. Caught off guard by the cold, I crawled into Axel's coat, taking advantage of the trapped body heat.

The Dwebble just stood there. Without a shell, the Icy Wind must have stung like hell on its bare skin, but it didn't even flinch.

"I know you've got to feel guilty," Axel said after a while. "When someone dies and you get to keep living, _especially_ if you feel you could've prevented it… it's enough to make you feel sometimes that you don't deserve it. I know the feeling, believe me." He looked up at the night sky, starless with the cloud cover that had rolled in. "But I realized, eventually, that you get over that kind of guilt pretty easily. What you're stuck with, though, is that without the person you really cared about, you become consumed by this fear of… well,_ living_." He shivered. "All of a sudden, wasting time feels like a horrible sin, and you can't help but be petrified that you'll slide back into doing it."

The Dwebble had both eyes fixed on Axel now, as if it were hanging on to every word. It almost seemed… anxious. Its body twitched and shivered as it drew closer, trying to glean something from Axel's words.

"I don't really have a… method for getting over a fear of living," Axel explained, sorry to disappoint the Dwebble. "But what worked for me was… well, I figured that wasting time was something you could only do when you were alive. It'd be a shame _not_ to every now and again."

It wasn't the answer the Dwebble was looking for… that much I could tell from the way its eyes fell to the ground. But something had changed. It seemed… resigned, almost. Maybe even relaxed.

It certainly looked like it'd be a hell of a lot easier to babysit. Kudos, Axel.

"Now…" Axel said, standing up and dusting off his pants. "Want to head back to the cave? I've got another shoulder."

The Dwebble grasped Axel's clothing and pulled itself up, taking a seat on…

_Hey! The left shoulder was _MINE! _Now I have to…_ oh well. The right one's just as comfy, I suppose.

**Vanna**

I know the situation I'm in is… somewhat serious.

Still, I can't help but think: 'thank goodness. I needed something like this.'

It's seemed like an _eternity_ since I've been able to flirt with a guy and not worry about the future consequences. And there's so _many_ of them! If I can get it out of my system now, then maybe I'll be alright around Axel for a few more weeks.

Still, I am in the enemy's camp, so I should tread carefully, and probably try and help out the… um, 'war effort', I suppose you could call it. First order of business: locate Ranger Danger. I'm pretty worried about him, actually. I sure as hell hope he hasn't gone the way of Bertrand… I don't know if I could deal with that again.

"Hey, Mister…" I flushed my face red, pretending to forget. "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was again?" I asked the burly, plaid-shirted 'medicine guy' who was looking after Qwill.

"Smith," he said, chuckling at the _adorable_ way I kept forgetting his simple, oh-so-common name. "What do you need, Hyacinth?"

Ah, to be called a fake name again. It's oddly satisfying, reminds me of the days when I honestly didn't _care_ if anyone thought I was a floosy.

"Right," I said meekly. "Mr. Smith… this is a ranger station, right?"

"Uh… yeah. Looks that way to me."

"Um… well, I was wondering… where's the Ranger? Shouldn't he or she be able to help heal my Cyndaquil?" Of course, I _knew_ Ranger Danger, and the answer to that was an astoundingly large 'no'.

"Uh… well, I don't know where that Ranger guy is," he said, lying so _very_ convincingly as he glanced at the trunk of a nearby truck. "This place was kind of abandoned when we got here, so we figured we might as well use it." He smiled forcibly. "Sad state of law enforcement, right?"

"Right…" I said, thinking. There were around forty guys out there, all armed with guns. I think maybe… twenty of them saw me changing, so they'll be easier to take on, particularly if I accidentally rip this shirt down the middle. The other twenty might not be _as_ easily swayed, and if I try anything too drastic, they probably won't think twice about shooting me. Hell, when I'm dead or, at the very least, unable to defend myself, they might even…

_AGH!_ No, no, no, ok, no taking them on all at once. Plus, that'd probably put Danger's life in jeopardy too. If only I could get some of them to leave… but how?

Luckily, Lady Luck's always had a bit of a thing for me. There's actually quite the interesting love triangle between Sir Serendipity, her, and I. _Neither_ of them can seem to get enough of me, which is ok because when they show up good things happen and I can start to swing things in my favor, like now when one of the hunters who hadn't seen me change opened the door and said that the party was getting some sort of GPS signal from one of the other hunters that had been scouting and…

Whoa. I'm sorry, I… I don't really know what just came over me. Um… like I said, one of the other hunters came in the door, saying that the scout had started sending out a GPS signal and that they were going to head off, and leave a few guys behind.

"I… I don't want to be any trouble!" I exclaimed quickly, jumping and flushing my face an even brighter red. "You don't have to leave anyone behind for me if one of your people are in trouble… Mr. Smith here's made Cyndaquil better a little…"

"It's all right, ma'am," the older hunter nodded, eying me up and down with… is that distrust I detect? For little old me? "We can spare around seven people. We wouldn't want you to _hurt yourself_ again, now would we?"

I fought the urge to gulp, instead giving a short bow in thanks. "I won't forget all the kindness you've shown me. Thank you, sir!" After all, seven's a lot easier to deal with.

The majority of the camp (thirty… forty people?) crept into the woods, guns drawn. Some of them climbed into large logging machines with enormous saws on the front, and began cutting a path through where necessary. Damn it, these guys were _serious._ I had to tell Axel… but how?

I excused myself to the bathroom in the Ranger's house quickly, and sent him a text. Not glamorous at all, but certainly the most practical thing. Now to spring Danger from his confines!

"Hey…" I blushed towards Mr. Smith, who came running over immediately. "Is there any chance you could show me that big machine over there?" They'd left a few of the logging machines behind. I guess they had more machines then licensed drivers? I don't know.

"Nah," Mr. Smith said warmly. "It's dangerous; I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"Oh, _pleeeeeease?_" I pleaded, pressing my body against him while I did so. "I've always wondered what it's like to be up there riding, with one hand on the big, thick steering shaft and the other just running up and down the cool, slick body. It's _got_ to be exciting, right?"

The man may have been red in the face to begin with, but now _glowing_ red, just like a Pokèball beam. Sweat started pouring down from his brow, and as I leaned in _just a bit_ closer, he gulped loudly and _said_: "w-w… well, I guess it… could be ok."

"_YAY!"_ I squealed, hugging him tightly around his waist. "Thanks a lot, Mr. Smith, you don't know what this means to me!"

"Oh… just… call me Francis… er… I mean, Frank."

… And now I'm worried about Frankie too. Thanks a _lot_.

Franky (with a 'y', you'll notice, to avoid confusion) took me over to one of the large logging machines away from the rest of the camp and gave me a boost up into the chassis. I _accidentally_ stumbled forward upon entering, landing on my stomach with an 'oof' and… well, giving him a nice view, I suppose you could say. In case you were wondering, yes, I _was _wearing a skirt this time. What can I say? War is hell, even if it seems like heaven to some.

From the ground, Franky instructed me how to turn the thing on, told me which lever to pull, and guided me through a few basic steps on how to operate heavy machinery. He was _loving _it, watching me grunt and groan as I pulled on the levers that were _just so tough to move. _Very traditional and perverted view of gender roles, this guy has.

You might be wondering why I bothered to do any of this. Would it make it any clearer if I told you that the Ranger station was on top of a very, _very_ steep hill?

With a sudden burst of confidence (that came out of _nowhere!_) I stepped on the gas and pulled the steering level to what the cute, defenseless me _thought_ was the brake, but was really the throttle. The machine lurched ahead, and I screamed as the tree-wrecking monstrosity barreled towards oblivion. If Gardevoir was here, it'd be just like Thelma and Louise… ah, man, why didn't I think of that earlier?

Franky started freaking out, running after the machine waving his arms, telling me to apply the emergency brake. But I, being a pretty, ignorant child, had _absolutely_ no idea what he was talking about and, in a state of _hysterical_ panic, jumped out of the vehicle just in time to avoid tumbling down the hillside with it.

"No!" Franky yelled through ragged breaths, reaching out towards the machine in vain. "No, no, no! Ah, damn it, what am I going to tell the boss now?"

"I'm sorry!" I sobbed. "I'm _so_ sorry, I… I didn't know how to stop and I…"

"_Shut it!" _Franky yelled, getting far more hysterical than I could ever act. "Oh man, oh man, oh man, what am I going to… how do I… _why couldn't you…_"

"Don't worry," I tried to cheer him up, covertly dropping a Pokèball behind my back. "Everything's fine!"

"_Everything is not fine!"_ he yelled. "_How can you even…"_

"Everything's fine," I repeated, as Xatu emerged from her Pokèball, laying on _layers_ of Hypnosis.

"Everything's… fine…" Franky mouthed, his muscles relaxing and his eyes drooping.

"That's right," I repeated, patting him on the back to reassure him. "Everything will be fine, as long as you go into the woods, climb a tree, and make sure _no one sees you_, understood?"

"Under… stood…" Franky mouthed, lurching off into the woods like a zombie. As I waited to ensure that he was well hidden, I checked myself over. The dive from the logging machine had scraped up my knee something fierce, and blood was starting to trickle down.

_Perfect._

Giving Xatu her instructions, I strained my face, trying to produce just a _little_ more Croconaw tears before rushing back to the campsite. "_Somebody! Anybody! Come quick! Franky went over the side of the hill in the big machine thing!"_

It should be illegal to be this good.

Author's Note

Hey everyone! I'm alive! I know; I'm surprised too!

There were a good many reasons that this chapter is so late, so I'll go ahead and list them in chronological order.

First: Pokémon Conquest came out. In order to ensure that I kept up to date with the franchise so that the story could remain relevant, I had to get it and play it obsessively. It was _research!_ Very fun research. I highly recommend the game, if you get tired of playing Black and White 2.

Second: I had to work six days in a row! Eight hour shifts at my summer job at _MAJOR FAST FOOD CORPORATION._ My feet were crying. _Literally._ It was very strange for all involved.

Third, and somewhat more seriously: well… recently, we've had a loss in the Amaxing Fan Fiction Incorporated Family. It was a shock, and it rendered me unable to write for… a good bit.

Eventually, though, I realized that as a writer (if you could call me that), I have a unique opportunity to sort of… immortalize her. In some small way. Since there'll never be a funeral, I figure the most fitting place to give the eulogy is… here. Enjoy? Should I say that?

(Ahem)

Her name was Reba.

I called her that because she was a Mac, entirely. It was an awful joke, and I think this is the first time I've shared it, but forgive me. I was a college freshman, and I thought everything I did was hilarious.

She was old when I got her… a plain old MacBook in a world of MacBook Pros, adorable Netbooks, and Intel i5 processors. But when she whirred to life and let out that start-up sigh, it was like she was brand new from the factory.

For three years, you put up with me. Edited and spell-checked my awful stories without complaint, stayed up until 5 in the morning as I hammered out papers the night before they were due. Hell, I don't think I ever turned you off… I can't imagine how that strained you.

But we had a lot of good times, huh? We traveled the country together: Burlington, Baltimore, Seattle, New York. We saw that Distant Worlds concert, remember? I certainly won't forget. Did it have any special meaning for you when that CD came up on your iTunes? I'd like to think it did.

But, with time, you began to fade. Your CD drive never worked quite right to begin with, but that was fine. Your left arrow key came off during that Tetris Battle phase I had, and I unceremoniously taped it back on you. It wasn't classy, but you accepted it, right up until the end. I'm pretty sure I hit you with a boomerang too, but you just kept trudging along, overheating as you tried to keep up with me.

It was only after those sudden scares, where you wouldn't turn back on for nearly half an hour after powering yourself off, that I even _considered _replacing you. I loaded my music and word files onto a flash drive, and then, callously, I began to search for another with you.

Did you… stop accepting power right away? I only noticed an hour in that your charger's light had gone out. I jiggled the cord, reinserted it dozens of times… I even dug out the old, frayed charger that still technically worked… but nothing. To me, it almost seemed like you'd realized what was to come… and started starving yourself.

I wanted to have a candlelight vigil… wait up with you with your screen completely dimmed until you flipped your last bit. But that would have been weird, even for me, so I just played Minecraft. Not really trying to accomplish anything… just idly moving blocks from place to place until the inevitable darkening…

… Damn it.

My friend, who knows far more about computers than I, didn't believe that you only had 2 GB of RAM. You were able to handle too much at once, he said, are you sure that you didn't get it expanded at some point?

I hadn't, of course. Now I realize… it was you, wasn't it? Trying to go that extra mile to keep me happy. Trying to make sure I never noticed the torture I was subjecting you too, unknowingly.

… I'm sorry.

The data on you might be the same, but Ace is nothing like you. He's quicker, yes, but colder… I can't feel his fans beat like I could yours. Someone could say that you're living on through him, but I don't think that's true.

You must be out there, somewhere, free at last to wander the milky, cybernetic pathways that we used to travel together without restriction. If you are out there, and you happen to read this for old time's sake… you're welcome to come home. I'll keep your shell for a little while longer, right next to your late uncle GameCube's.

It just won't feel right taking out that Ender Dragon without you.

And last, because I know you loved it more than most:

Viva la feminism?


	40. Chapter 38: The Gathering Storm

Disclaimer:

**Audition 6: Dovahkiin**  
Former Occupation: Fiction dragon slayer/assassin/thief/werewolf/vampire/arch-mage/harbinger

Max: All right, Dovahkiin, let's hear it. About how I don't own Pokémon and such.

D: DO… NOT OWN!

Max: Oh, ok. I see what you did there. Put it in a three word shout, like your trademark, very clever. Anything else.

D: …

Max: Oh, right… you can't just talk again, you have to… wait for your voice to recharge…

D: …

M: …

D: …

M: …

D: …

M: … I don't think this will work out.

**Chapter 38: The Gathering Storm  
**

**Danger**

Get ready, Archimedes! The noise outside is practically pounding on top of the truck, screaming 'something's happening!'; we might be moved at any moment!

Yelling! Cursing! It's worse than I thought! Quick, execute move 37! Yes _that_ one, Archimedes, what did you think?

Using my super Ranger dexterity powers, I rolled around the truck's trunk until I was next to Archimedes, and used one of his sharp talons to cut away at my ropes. Quicker… quicker… almost there…

But alas! It was in vain! The door to the trunk was unlocked and opened, and my act was displayed for all to see! Goodbye, world, I'm sorry I couldn't save you!

There was a moment of thunderous, anticipatory silence… and then a familiar voice broke on my ears like the sultry sound of the ocean crashing against a rocky shore. "Ranger Danger… Why am I not surprised to find you like this?"

"Trouble?" I breathed with relief. "Trouble, is that you?"

I was released from my bonds, and rolling over to face the back of the truck, I confirmed that my savior was, indeed, Vanna Albright… the most trouble any man could get into.

"Danger, are you still calling me that?" She pouted, causing an involuntary jolt to run through my chest.

"Is it still true?" I countered nonetheless, somehow keeping a cool face.

"Maaaybe," she teased, bending over me slightly as she untied Archimedes. This girl… I swear. "But we can catch up later." she waved off, displaying a somewhat uncharacteristic sense of duty. Was I rubbing off on her? "I'm sure you've noticed this, but there's quite a large number of poachers running amok in the woods right now."

"Aye, I had noticed…" I grumbled. "Cowards jumped me, eight on one! I apologize to the world, Vanna, but Ranger Danger's not _that_ good… not yet, anyway."

"_I_ just took out eight of them…" Vanna taunted, pointing down the hill to pile of seven sleeping hunters… and one hiding up in a tree.

"It's not _quite_ the same thing, Trouble," I responded, grabbing some rope and heading over to the pile to tie the criminals up, "taking _my_ shirt off would only make them _more_ likely to kill me."

"Ranger Danger!" she stopped, acting indignant. "You honestly think that I…"

I turned around abruptly, staring at her with a knowing, 'Ranger Danger sees all' look.

She blushed, and beckoned for the man in the tree to come down and lie on the pile. "Well…" she admitted. "All right, fine. I _may_ have had to change shirts because my other one ripped…"

I sighed, finishing tying up the mound of unconscious men with my patented Ranger Danger 100% Inescapable Knot. (Works 92% of the time!) "Trouble, Trouble… what would your mother say?"

"Great job, honey, you've made me proud. I'm glad to see you can use your sexuality to empower yourself?" she responded immediately, meriting a strange look from yours truly. She shrugged, explaining: "She's a Lipstick Feminist. You know."

"That explains _so much_," I said, clapping my hands together after surveying the scene. Yes, everything was in order. Time to move on to phase two of Ranger Danger's comeback strategy. "Archimedes!" I ordered, the Noctowl hooting with fervor. "Fetch me my capture styler; we've got a forest to save!"

"And by capture styler, you of course mean…"

"My Glock, yes. It's Super Effective at capturing humans."

**Medici**

"They're coming? _What? What GPS sig… _oh, never mind. He just thought about it. Well played, Mr. Buster."

As you can imagine, I was a bit shocked I hadn't picked up on this. It was entirely my fault too… I should have at least thought about it when he was activating it… ah, crap! I did even worse than I thought!

Axel started freaking out a little after getting Vanna's text. Not because the Hunters were coming, mind you, but because Vanna had somehow wound up getting herself in trouble, despite having 'just' gone for help. I, personally, wasn't worried… knowing her she had the situation completely under control… heck, she's probably 'persuaded' one or two of them to help her out by now… perhaps playing the part of poor, innocent, environmental activist with a heart of gold? That'd be pretty hot.

But no, Axel steadfastly refused to think of how hot the situation probably was, instead focusing on the small, minor detail that Vanna had found herself in the company of many strange, possibly murderous men. If I'm honest, I guess I was a bit worried about how Gardevoir was taking all of this, but I doubt any of the Hunters would hurt such a gorgeous creature, especially if it was hiding under a bed.

The Pidgey courier returned to the cave… just in time to be sent off again to tell Inigo, Gallant and that Heracross what was going on. Tough luck. I knocked Buster out with a swift kick to the head, making absolutely sure he wouldn't pull anything else over on me. Amber smacked me almost instinctively for that one, moving on immediately to rounding up the younger and weaker Sawsbuck that couldn't fight and taking shelter in the back of the cave. That Scizor, Iamb, quickly called Dwebble and Shelligan over to him, barking out orders.

"Warriors with me!" He commanded with absolute authority. "If our response is Swift, we can drive these Hunters back to their base and uproot them before they can even touch our fortifications!"

I began to stretch, kickboxing the air and getting ready to go, when Axel came over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Medici, I'm going to ask you to stay here and guard everyone. Ok?"

"_What?_" I yelled, shocked. "Come _on_, Axel, why waste me like that? There's what, thirty, forty people coming for us? I can tear through that many people _easy_, and you know it! Why do you keep risking people getting hurt like this?" My mind had, of course, immediately thought back to how Axel had returned me when _freaking Deathwing tried to kill us. 'Dragonette'_… excuse me.

Axel didn't have an answer right away… in fact, looking up at him, I immediately could tell he was mulling something over, choosing carefully what he was about to say. I decided to listen in psychically, maybe figure out what he was debating… but he blocked me out, as usual. Damn him and his Occlumency.

"I have to level the party evenly, Medici," he finally said, not quite lying, but sure as hell not telling the whole truth either. "And besides… the third rule of battle is 'hold your trump card 'til the end.'"

That stroked my ego a bit, and he knew it. I sighed, resigning myself to guard duty, and positioned myself near the mouth of the cave, going into meditation to heighten my senses. "None shall pass," I uttered dramatically, letting a surge of psychic power kick up a small windstorm around me.

"That's what I like to hear," Axel smiled, clapping me on the back before heading off into the woods.

Amber came up to the front of the cave with me, guessing pretty well that I was angry. "If you think about it…" she offered, "we're really the last line of defense, you know? We're just as important."

"Even _more_ important, far as I'm concerned." The Sawsbuck leader, Buxton grumbled, scratching out a line in the dirt. "I'm trusting you to make sure not a single Hunter crosses this, you hear? Don't let me down."

I actually chortled at that. "Buddy, I am _not_ in the business of letting people down."

"You're not in _any_ business."

"You're no fun, Amber-chan."

**Gallant**

The Pidgey has been quite expeditious in relaying the Hunters' imminent arrival to us, and looking at the area we'd cleared at, I couldn't help but grimace at the little we'd been able to accomplish.

Granted, we had worked faster and far more efficiently than anyone could have dared dream. In the few hours we'd had, we had constructed a wall (more like a pile of logs) stretching East and North of the cave, leaving the South open to attack as was instructed. But it wasn't nearly as tall as we'd hoped, barely reaching to my chin, and we'd had to forego the West completely.

Luckily, knowing where Vanna had gone off to, and that she had run into the Hunter's camp, we knew that at least the vast majority would be coming from the South. If Inigo's quick survey of the land was correct, it was far easier to sweep around the lake from the East then the West, so our walls may actually see use and not just sit there, mocking us as the enemy poured in.

Now, there was just time to wait. We lopped down a few trees and threw them to the west, Inigo sending their trunks farther than I'd thought possible for him. Something had changed… he no longer seemed like my equal, as unbelievable as that may seem. He was… higher, somehow. He had evolved without changing physical form.

It was enough to make me start to question whether I could be of use. Perhaps it would have been better to accompany Lady Vanna. It would certainly eliminate the uneasiness welling up in my chest. Ms. Gardevoir is capable though, as is Xatu, and that Cyndaquil… well, I suppose his enthusiasm can't be matched, at least.

Lady Vanna's absence is not the only source of my uneasiness, however. I can _feel_ them coming. It's one of the great advantages and disadvantages of possessing a sixth sense… you can almost taste the sour advance of ill intent as it creeps towards you, weapons drawn. There was a shaking now, a physical trembling of the earth that I couldn't quite place. I glanced over to Inigo, looking for an answer.

"Siege machines, no doubt," he said, an ear and a hand pressed to the ground. "Most likely for cutting through the walls; if you listen carefully enough, you can hear the whirring of saw blades."

And now it was all I could hear. The high-pitched grinding and whining sound, occasionally accompanied by a crackling tumble as it felled any tree that dared to stand in its path. I could smell smoke now, too; taste soot in the air. Suddenly, a mind entered into the area I was monitoring, finely in tune with its surroundings as only the troops of the advance guard would be. I alerted Hachi, who nodded knowingly.

"What should we do about it?" I whispered, looking to him for a command.

"Fire a warning shot," he instructed, a smile firmly planted on his face. "Let 'em know we know they're here. Might scare a few of them off."

I nodded, and immediately fired off a Psyshock, blasting the bark off the tree he was hiding behind. The Hunter jumped, yelping like a startled puppy, and fell to the ground, aiming his gun towards… anywhere. It wasn't the sort of thing that had an obvious source.

"You're trespassing," I said authoritatively (with Hachi's permission, of course). "Get away from this place, or we'll have little choice but to launch an assault."

The Hunter didn't listen to a word, of course, instead screaming back to his group: "found them! Get the cutters over here!" This time, my Psyshock struck him square in the chest, and he flew backwards, hitting a tree behind him with a satisfying 'crack'. It was drowned out, however, by the riotous sounds of war cries, ragged yells and hoarse shouts that sounded more animalistic than human.

There will be no mercy from me, sirs.

Author's Note

So, um… hi… and stuff.

Um… Skyrim. Yeah…

But I'm back! Sorry for taking so long… I've got something to make up for the wait, though!

Though… depending on how it goes over, it's the sort of thing that may actually make you hate me more.

Then again, that's never stopped me before. So let's get on with it, I guess.

I've prepared a little something that would never actually happen in the canon storyline. Something that rarely, if ever, happens in the Pokémon franchise in general, really. I figured: we have two gym leader characters now… why not see who would win in a battle?

I can see _why_ the Pokémon franchise wouldn't do this. No one wants to be robbed of the chance to argue over whether their favorite Gym Leader would win in a fight with another one (though I think we _all_ know that Sabrina would absolutely m_urder _each and every other Gym Leader out there. Possibly literally, depending on which Sabrina we're talking about.)

But anyway, I decided to do that.

And…

Um…

Well…

Actually, I'm not sure if I want to share it now.

But I promised, didn't I? Don't really have a choice. Wouldn't want you guys to think I'm lazy AND untrustworthy, would I?

So without further ado, I suppose…

Um…

Well…

I guess I'll just…

Start playing _Scotland the Brave_ at 120 BPM and…

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FANFICTIOOOOO_

_OOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOON!_

_VANNA ALBRIGHT!_

_VS!_

_GOOOOOOLIATH GOLD!_

_BEGIN!_

Goliath:

_When ye need to mete beats, I'm in the Elite Four_

_See to your defeat with my lyrical claymore_

_Scared to fight, Albright? Ye look pretty pale_

_Mortified that ye might go and chip a nail?_

_When I stand my ground I win, hands down_

_So tramp that tramp stamp out of town_

_This crown's mine, lass, I'm king of the mountain_

_Have been for thirty years, but who's countin'?_

Vanna:  
_I think the prodigy deserves the spotlight, G_

_Doncha wish your lyrics were hot like me?_

_You've grown cold, Goldy, you're downright moldy_

_You're up on that hill yodeling with the oldies_

_You sure your soldiers all march to your moors?_

_Because Amber's too __**cute**__ for her to really be yours_

_Is that why your Pokémon all have big horns?_

_To cover the fact that your bagpipes are torn?_

Goliath:

_The bombs that I'm droppin' are bigger than Bertrand's_

_Disaster is all you've picked up with your flirtin'_

_I'm seven foot seven of word-meltin' heaven_

_Bulldoze your team so that all SIX senses deafen_

_You're small, you're pathetic; you're downright inferior_

_Rock Wreck your train of thought like my Rhyperior _

_Your run as Gym Leader was a disgrace_

_Ye think they'd replace ME with such elated haste?_

Vanna:

_You're so darn tall; I thought you'd see who's best_

_Though I guess you miss a lot when you're possessed by my chest_

_You dis so small for someone so colossal_

_Bastiodon suits you, ya living fossil_

_Xatu used Future Sight, know what she learned?_

_That my rhymes would knock you out after just two turns_

_They ought to, since my flow's straight from Nir-Vanna_

_Won't you pleeeeeease admit you've lost? You know you wanna._

_WHO WON?_

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE! (Maybe?)

_eeeeEEEEpic RAP BATTLES OF FAAAAAANfiiiiiiiiiicTIIIIIII OON!_

_VIVA LA FEMINISM!_


	41. Chapter 39: Fear Cloaked in Courage

Disclaimer:

**Audition 7: Old Spice Guy  
**Former Occupation: **Man**

_Hello there, Nintendo. Look at your franchise, now back to mine, now back to your franchise, now _back to mine. _Sadly, mine doesn't exist, but with enough imagination and loyal readers it could _sort of_ exist_.

_Look down, now back up, where are you? You're on with the _franchise your franchise could look like.

Max: CUT!

OSG: _What?_

Max: It's just… (sigh)… as much as I hate to say no to the Old Spice Guy… I'm sorry. This isn't working out _nearly_ as well as I'd hoped. Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. just… isn't masculine enough to be treated this way.

OSG: I humbly disagree, good sir. You may not wrestle bear-shark-alligators atop burning jet fighters like me, but the time and effort you put into being creative makes some people happy a little, and that, my Pokémon-loving friend, is as manly as it gets.

Max: (sniff…) You're so… I can't even…

OSG: Should I leave, before you start crying like a very manly four-year-old girl?

Max: Yeah… I don't want you to see that. (Sniff…) Thanks for being so considerate.

OSG: Any time.

**Chapter 39: Fear Cloaked in Courage**

**Iamb**

It pains me a little to leave only the Meditite back to guard the herd, but I haven't time to think on that. If our line holds, and it _must_ hold, then nothing will come of it. If we drive them off here, will they really be gone for good? Is this just another desperate bid for time?

Thinking like that in battle will get me killed… possibly get all of us killed. There's no time. That growling and snarling up ahead is no doubt the advance of the logging machines… Arceus, are there _five_ of them this time? What possesses these men to _do _this? Money? Are things in the human world that bad?

Getting to the edge of the wall, I could see the fighting had clearly already started. The scent of sawdust and gunpowder lay thick in the air, and the animalistic cries of the oncoming hunters made me consider, for the briefest of moments, dropping my vow of non-lethality. But no. If _any_ of them were to die… there'd be reason to legally hunt us down, as a threat to society.

Breaking past the wall, I saw the Gallade standing atop it, drawing fire towards himself by his bold, sweeping actions. He threw the nearest hunter into a tree, threw Psycho Cuts to fell trees and muck up the path for the oncoming Cutters… anything to convince the Hunters to shoot at him. It worked for a little, but the wiser of them soon realized his ability to Reflect them away.

A hunter burst in my way, and I felled him with a quick Metal Claw to the back of the skull. Another sprung up to take his place almost immediately: he was taken down by a quick, ricocheted spin attack from the Squirtle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Axel ducking and weaving around two hunters, almost making a _show _of how he wasn't killing either of them, all while they kept firing on him.

Distracted by this scene momentarily, I was barely able to dodge the tree that had been thrown at me. I fell to the ground, staggered briefly, and a full-sized Digger burst onto the scene in front of me. The driver, whom I recognized, and who recognized _me_, lowered down the saw in a hateful glee.

Nothing I hadn't dealt with before. Catching the blade in my metal pincers, I snapped it off, and then threw it through the window of the digger. Lunging forward, I vaulted into the cockpit of the machine, smashing the driver into the back of the cabin and causing him to go limp. Calling Hachi over, the two of us tipped the machine on its side, ducking behind it as the larger part of their contingency advanced forwards. Axel, who had by now disarmed and beaten down his two opponents, dove behind it as well, bullets missing him by mere inches, no doubt thanks to the Protection offered by the Gallade.

"This doesn't look good, sir," Hachi explained frantically. "They seem to have caught on that our Western flank is open, and they're swinging some of their forces around that way."

"Blast it!" I poked my head over the wall, ducking it back down quickly as a bullet whizzed by. "There must be something we can do to keep them off our tail."

"I will take care of it."

I hadn't seen the Treecko, Inigo, since I'd gotten there, and his sudden appearance actually startled me. He went up to Axel, climbing to his shoulder and hugging the trainer's neck. Then, without another word, he darted forwards, towards the sound of an oncoming Cutter.

Cursing, I burst out from hiding, determined to cover the Treecko as best I could. But the Squirtle had already taken the role, blocking bullets with its shell as if it were simply routine. I watched in horror as another Cutter came bursting through the woods. Not even bothering to lower the buzz saw, the driver simply charged forwards, intent on crushing the two small Pokémon.

And then it stopped. Inigo… he'd done nothing but hold out his hand, and the Cutter, that indomitable engine of destruction… it was stuck in its tracks. With his other hand, Inigo wedged his arm under the gigantic machine, comparable to the size of a Snorlax, and… _threw it._

The driver screamed and hung on for dear life as his Cutter flew to the West, further screams indicating that it had landed near, or perhaps _on_, some of the Hunters circling that way. The Pokémon briefly looked in its direction, confirming that it wouldn't be a problem any longer, and signaled to the Squirtle. It came spinning over, and the Treecko jumped on its back, taking off towards the sound of another Cutter.

Sitch and Hachi had, by this time, gotten into their routine of log-tossing, rolling whole tree trunks towards the oncoming horde. No sooner could Hachi slice a piece off before it would be sent hurtling towards a hunter, knocking them down and forcing them back. They were headstrong as always, though, and more than once I cringed as a bullet whizzed past their heads, nearly ending them.

But even this was incomparable to Dwebble, screaming forwards as always, slashing at the ankles of the Hunters as it wove through their ranks. It was amazing how, even with its injuries being what they were, it could still dart in and out so quickly, and for a second, I forgot my concerns. It would be ok. Already, more than half their number was gone, and a few in the back of the ranks were retreating. We would make it out of this.

And then, I saw him. Not just one of them, but _him._

Dwebble saw him too. Not just any Hunter… _the_ Hunter. He had dared return, after all this time. After… her.

His eyes and Dwebble's locked for the briefest of moments, and from the flash of fear and hatred in his eyes… I could tell he remembered.

I could see the scene play out before it even happened, Dwebble smashing its shell open to fully tear into the Hunter, him _easily_ aiming the barrel of his shotgun towards the charging Pokémon, in almost perfect symmetry with what had happened all that time ago.

Horrifyingly fitting. And there's nothing I can do: Dwebble… Dwebble's too far gone. I curse to myself, lunging forwards in a last ditch attempt to save him, even as his claws tighten around his shell for what I know will be the last time.

Too late. _Too late._

And then; a voice, carrying over the din of battle. Axel's. _"LIVE YOU IDIOT! LIVE!"_

The trigger of the rifle is pulled, the bullet flies, and Dwebble… Dwebble ducks inside its shell. The rocky surface is blasted to pieces, but the Pokémon within… it's safe. Thank Arceus.

Before the hunter can make another move, I'm on him, ripping the gun from his grip, tearing a gash into his stomach. He cries out and falls over, but he'll live. Not even for this one, deserving as he is, will I make an exception. We've come too far to fail now.

The remaining Hunters ran, logs still chasing them as they flee back into the woods. Axel and Inigo quickly moved from Hunter to Hunter, breaking their weapons and tying them to any trees left standing with Inigo's vines. Smiling, Axel came over to me, hand extended. "Done and done," he smiled. "That wasn't so bad now, was it?"

I nodded my gratitude, extending a claw to shake. Just then, however, a high-pitched squeal echoed across the landscape, and I jolted upright, seeking the source of the sound.

Axel, dropping his hand as well, turned sharply back towards the cave, cursing not-that-silently under his breath. "Medici… damn it!" He turned back to me. "We've been had. This was a trap, and we fell right into it." Running towards the cave, not even bothering to explain, he yelled: "Shelligan! Inigo! Get back as quickly as possible! Medici needs us, _now!_"

Not that they were there. Upon hearing the squeal, the two had almost immediately started sprinting back towards base. Though it's made of steel, I still can't help but get a little sick to my stomach.

I don't like where this is going. Not one bit.

Authors Note:

I…. LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Yeah, sorry about that anyone who still cares. I've been going through a lot lately. I'd normally tell you, but I'm legally obligated not to tell you! And believe it or not, I'm not just messing with you this time.

Don't worry: I didn't do it, and I'm ok now. Took me a bit to get back on my feet. KS helped. Nah, I'm not going to bother explaining what that means. Those of you who know… know. And for those of you who know but need help… did you know a group of butterflies is called a swarm? I really like the word flock better, though.

Haha… I'm a little bit more of a mess than usual. But it's ok.

To address your concerns, Legion: you're right and wrong. I mean, Axel's not really supposed to be the interesting one, to be perfectly honest, there's a reason I don't narrate from his point of view. As for him being a Gary Stu? Heck no. I'd hate to be Axel, and if anyone's a copy of my own personality in this story, it's Medici. Though I'd hate to have to evolve into a Medicham, too…

Viva la the feminist conspiracy?


End file.
